Sunday, October 09, 2005

Poor Bastard

While I was on my seven hour journey to nowhere the first time we tried to evacuate (I was beginning to wonder if I was going to need a passport if I ever finally got to Saratoga), I was listening to the local television station on my car radio.

One of the guys who was interviewed was a doctor or physician's assistant or something in one of the rural clinics here in our neck of the woods. Most of his staff had already evacuated and the reporter was asking him some pretty tough questions. I could tell the guy was distracted and would rather be doing anything other than a television interview.

I don't know if it was his distraction or worry about his impending doom (he wasn't evacuating) but the Poor Bastard said a couple of things that made me laugh out loud as I sat in bumper to bumper traffic on my journey to hell.

Reporter: Will the clinic remain open through the storm or will it close if necessary?
Poor Bastard: That will be up to the discrepancy of the doctors in the clinic.
(Me: I'm pretty sure he meant to say discretion of the doctors in the clinic but I hope the discrepancy was cleared up and that Poor Bastard got the hell out of there.)

Reporter: Will you have a full staff for the duration of the storm?
Poor Bastard: No, we will have a skeletal crew.
(Me: I know I have a sick sense of humor but the morbidness of that one, in my pre-hysterical state at the time, really hit me funny. Once again, I sure hope the Poor Bastard and his skeleton crew made it through the storm and good for them for holding down the fort.)


Mommy said...

Bahahaa! That's hilarious. I know that stress can have an effect on how you use words... remember how I had to use the thesaurus to look up "anus" to find the correct spelling of "orifice" that one time? Bahahaha!

And it's like that certain person I was telling you about that said her male friend was "asphyxiated" with something, rather than being "fixated". Of course, I don't think that the person of whom I am speaking can blame distraction and stress on their incorrect usage of the English language.

Lorna said...

Love that! You have GOT to read The Book of Bunny Suicides. They are sooo funny, in that same vein. Ooooops.

Ed said...

Proper grammar is so yesterday.

Anonymous said...

OMG...if he's a physical, I sure don't want him as my doctoring!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

My brother and I looked on in awe as a counsin told us about his hunting trip: "I slipped a cartilage into my rifle...."

Ron Southern said...

Good show. From anoter Bmt. former crazy. (Still crazy, now Hardin county.) Having cataracts, I'm told, I just love, the alphabet soup to sort out!

Laurie said...

Jen - I remember that, poor bastard.

Lorna - I'm going to order that book before I forget.

Ed - It's like SO yesterday.

Stephen - Hahahahah!

Old Horsetail - Did you guys give him hell or is he still loading cartilages?

Ron - Hello in Hardin County!

Peter said...

I have a friend whos daughter was due to give birth, she could not understand the delay as she was fully diluted! same friend drank herself into Bolivia once.

Laurie said...

Peter - Hahahahaha! That's hilarious! Drank herself to Bolivia! Hahahaha!!!