Thursday, May 31, 2007

Freddie Prinze

I was listening to the seventies channel on XM today and the theme song for Chico and the Man came on. The song made me think about the shock we all felt when we heard that Freddie Prinze had committed suicide. In retrospect, the song feels like a plea to the young Freddie Prinze. So sad.

Here is a link to a video of Freddie Prinze, Jr. when Freddie Prinze, Sr. received a star on the Walk of Fame.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Ripoff Alert

A year or so ago, I did a post saying how goofy I thought those plaster casts of pregnant bellies were. Of course, that was before my daughter-in-law got pregnant. Now, we must have one. She promises me it won't be painted with NASCAR or anything shall I put this...stupid. (That isn't her plaster belly up there.)

Jamie ordered a kit online from Glamourbelly. She never received the kit and she isn't alone. Do a Google for Glamourbelly and you will find lots of other people who have also been ripped off by this woman.

As if ripping off people, especially pregnant people, isn't despicable enough, the Glamourbelly woman also has logos at the bottom of her web page inferring that she is recommended by The Learning Channel, Baby Story and the March of Dimes. Jamie is contacting those companies as well as her local television stations to alert them to this scam.

Cory and Jamie decided to buy a kit from a local store and did the belly cast at her mom's house after Jamie's baby shower. In case you were wondering how to get the plaster off after you're done, I was wondering the same thing.

"How did you get the plaster off when you were done?" I asked Cory.

"I took her in the backyard and hosed her down," he said.

Of course. How silly of me.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Happy 25th Anniversary, Stu and Kim!

Today is my brother Stuart and sister-in-law Kim's 25th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, guys! We love you!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Handy Woman?

  • I am not a handy person. Therefore, I love it when people sit around all day thinking of ways to make my life easer. I never heard of a Paint Buddy. I suppose I've never heard of it because I don't watch daytime television, go to hardware stores or watch sports channels. It's a pretty handy dandy gadget.
  • After reading the instructions for installing a new lavatory faucet and reading the instructions to change a doorknob, I think I know why men don't read instructions. Have you ever tried to read the instructions that come with anything to do with home improvement? I was totally lost. Thank god for the internet when it was time to change the doorknob. I paid the tub refinisher guy extra to install the new lavatory fixtures.
  • Before the guy could install the new faucet thingy in my bathroom, he was telling me what else I needed from the hardware store. I had no idea what he was talking about and told him so. For some reason, he thought that if he kept talking, it would eventually sink in. It didn't. I just wrote down everything he said, word for word, and went to M&D Supply. If you don't know what you're doing and you need some hardware, do yourself a favor and go to M&D.
  • I guess I'm going to have to suck it up and take some home improvement classes at Lowe's or Home Depot. I really don't enjoy doing that sort of thing because I'm so accident prone that it really isn't a good idea for me to be around power tools, chemicals or electricity. However, I'm thinking that if I take a couple of classes, I might be able to at least understand the instruction pamphlets when I want to do something myself.
  • Oh, I can build furniture with those prefabricated furniture building kits. I kick ass doing that.


Right on cue (12:22 a.m.), the damn bird is back. I'm in my den, television on, computer websites making various computer website noises and I can still hear the sunovabitch. Crap.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Why Is My Girlfriend Mad?

You might not realize what's going on here at first, but watch it all the way to the end.

New Doorknob...Check






The past four nights at about 1:00 a.m. some damn bird starts singing/screeching/chirping/croacking on a tree branch right outside my second floor bedroom window. I took the video below from inside my bedroom and you can still hear how loud it is even through the double paned window beside my bed.

I am a person who has, literally, slept through a train wreck. The train wrecked right down the street from my townhouse and the collision was so powerful, it actually rocked my bed. I felt the movement, listened for a while, then went right back to sleep. When I left for work the next morning, when I reached Langham Road, I looked over to my left and there were train cars scattered all along the tracks. When Cory and Jamie spend the night here, they're always amazed when I tell them I don't even hear the trains anymore.

This damn bird, however, wakes me and keeps me awake until it decides to stop whatever the fuck it's doing. According to one site I found, this is probably a bachelor mockingbird trying to find a mate. It's actually quite fascinating because it can make so many different sounds. Sometimes it even sounds like a cat or a frog. I went outside a little while ago because I was beginning to think it was a car alarm or something. Not only is it a bird, he wasn't even afraid of me and just kept up the racket.

It's now 1:40 a.m. and he's still going strong. Stupid horny bird.

Edited to add:
This bird did not stop until the sun began to come up at about 6:00 a.m. Bastard.

Another Big Walking Day for Jack*

* Totals for the first two weeks on the sidebar.

Saturday, May 26, 2007


After four years, I finally got my bathtub refinished (see below). You know how, after you finish one project, something you hadn't even noticed starts to bug the hell out of you?

I suddenly hate all my doorknobs.


The bathroom is done. The guy did a great job. He was very meticulous and I highly recommend him and the Miracle Method if you need any countertops (bath, kitchen) or tubs refinished.

Below are before and after pictures. Don't judge me. I had a bath mat and I never once sat down in that nasty tub. Since I moved here, I've wanted to do something about the tub but there were no local companies that did refinish work and the cost of replacing the tub was totally outside my budget.

Be advised that this guy stays pretty booked up. Between the time of the estimate visit and the actual job, there was a 2 1/2 month wait. Here's the info:

Blaine E. Hollier
Miracle Method of Beaumont
3312 Highway 365, #110
(409) 722-1050
(888) 271-7690

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Is it an Omen?

I use IMDB (Internet Movie Database) all the time. Seriously, I use it at least once a day and usually at least two or three times a day. I am nerd-tastic.

Tonight, I'm watching the remake of The Omen and I wanted to look something up. When I clicked on the hyperlink that would ordinarily take me to the IMDB site for The Omen, I got the error page above.

In all the times, in all the years I've been using IMDB, I've never seen that page.


Update Mostly for My Family/Friends Readers

  • Guy is here remodeling my bathtub. Ran into problems. Have to take another day off of work.
  • Baby sister Bonnie is home with the flu. That is, she's at mom and dad's home while her house is STILL getting repaired from Hurr-i-bitch Rita.
  • Baby sister Terry is in the hospital (since Monday) getting antibiotics for either Celiac Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. The rest of her family is fine except for missing mama.
  • Dad had to have some radiation treatments for some "hot spots" seen on his PET scan. They expect to get everything. He gets another PET scan in a week or two just to be sure.
  • Jamie and Cory are doing great. Due date is still 7/8 or so.
  • Mom's okay except for, I'm guessing, nurse duty overload.
  • Stu and Kim and the boys are fine though I haven't talked to them in a week or so. Bad sister.

So, what's new with you?

5:00 p.m. update:

  • Terry's being released from the hospital with a less serious colon malfunction than the two listed above
  • My refinished bathtub looks great and the sink is coming along just fine
  • Bonnie feels better

6:00 p.m. update:

  • Cory just called and they had a baby doctor visit today. Everything is looking great. The baby weighs 4 lb., 10 oz. and the doctor told Jamie to eats lots of ice cream and lots of protein between now and baby time (due date now 7/5).

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Green Day on American Idol

Green Day...

singing John Lennon...

on American Idol.


Who won?

Who cares?

Did you hear what I said? Green Day...John Lennon.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Run, Fat Boy, Run

I cannot wait to see this movie. It's starring that hilarious guy from Sean of the Dead, Simon Pegg. It's directed by David Schimmer and it's written by Michael Ian Black. What more can I say? Watch the trailer:

(You can click here for better looking version of the trailer.)

By the way, the song in the trailer is "Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis.

The Civil War in Four Minutes

Happy Anniversary, Cory and Jamie!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!

The Unexpected Pleasures of Technology

As I was driving downtown with my sister Bonnie last Friday night (I sure am getting a lot of posts out of that night, aren't I?), I suddenly went, "Ewwww! Oh! Ewwww!! Oh, my!"

Bonnie said, "What? What happened?"

"Ah, hee-hee-hee, it's my phone," I giggled, "I forgot I put it on vibrate and put it in my pocket."

Try as I might, I couldn't get the damn thing out of my pocket and drive at the same time. Bonnie had to reach into my pocket as I continued to drive while lifting my hips off the seat to achieve the proper leg to hip angle for her to be able to extract the still vibrating telephone from my pocket.

She looked at the phone and said, "It's Terry." Terry is our other sister.

I couldn't hear Terry's end of the conversation but I did hear Bonnie say, "I'm digging in your sister's pocket."

When Bonnie hung up the phone after telling Terry we were on our way, I asked, "What did she say when you told her you were digging in my pocket."

Bonnie said, "She said, 'uh...okay...never mind. I don't want to know.'"

Monday, May 21, 2007

Sunday's Walk

By the way, the Victorian above is for sale ($749,000). Click here for details.


I have a friend whose e-mails kept getting deleted and filtered out at his office by the Porno Police Software because his mother innocently named him Dick. He said he's going to start signing all of his e-mails as D*ck.

So, for the "Office Worker Formerly Known as Dick," I created this collage:

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Great Walk Challenge Takes a Dramatic Turn

My friends Jack and Susan and I are having a two-month contest to see who can walk the most steps. During the first week of the competition, the numbers (which you can find on my sidebar) bounced back and forth between Jack and Susan for first place. I am a distant third. Always. Third.

This morning, after reviewing the first week totals, Jack decided, and I quote, "This calls for a smack-down of Celebrity Death Match proportions." He set out to beat my first week total in one day.

The picture below shows his numbers as of 9:07 p.m. for ONE I guess we've been smacked.

By the way, that readout indicates 52,545 actual steps which also equals: 42,052 aerobic steps, 2,578 calories burned and 24.87 miles walked.

I Am the Center of the Universe and I Think I'll Leave My Hat On

As you may have noticed, I changed the theme of my blog from missing New Orleans to leaving my hat on. I do not miss New Orleans any less and I don't have a helluva lot of hats. The reason for the new half-a-hat profile pic and new theme song is way too random and convoluted to be of any interest to you. However, this little story might (or might not) interest you.

I had a paragraph at the center of the blog post below (about Bonnie winning the dance contest) concerning my new theme song. When I tried to update that post with a link this morning, for some reason a paragraph disappeared. I feel that the paragraph is far too cosmically important and proof that I am the center of the universe to not retell the incident in its very own post. That way, you can all leave your comments of astonishment, amazement, shock and the ever present awe.

When Jack arrived at the Star Bar Friday night, what song do you suppose was playing? Sure, it was 80's night but out of the thousands of songs that could have been playing when he walked into the bar looking for me, the song that was playing was "You Can Leave Your Hat On." Not only was it "You Can Leave Your Hat On," it was the very same version I have playing on this blog. You're probably listening to it right now as we speak; or I should say, as you read.

Jack didn't see us right away, so I had to chase him down by embarrassingly running after him across and around the bar (he didn't see that part). When I caught up to him, he said, "I knew you were in here when I walked in and that song was playing."

I said, "Oh, that's weird. That's not just weird. That's freaky weird. That's like movie weird."

He said, "Yep."

I said, "I told you I was the center of the universe."

He said, "I guess you are."

I guess I am.

What Aquatic Animal Are You?

The dolphin is an intelligent and gregarious character. You enjoy the company of others and the finer of life's pursuits. However, some people might accuse you of jumping through hoops to get what you want.

My Squid Name: Ravenous Laurie the Leviathan

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Terry Got a New Job and Bonnie Wins $100 in a Dance Contest!

Note to Laurie, you dumbass: Never, never, never leave home without your camera.

Last night, we went out to Crockett Street to celebrate my sister Terry getting a new job. She's absolutely thrilled and we're thrilled for her. We started out at Rio Rita's where we met some of her friends from her current job that I've never met before. They were very nice and lots of fun and it might be a long time before Terry sees them again.

I didn't have my camera. Crap.

It was the five year anniversary of the opening of Crockett Street and there was a huge beautifully painted Girls Gone Wild bus parked in front of Bobbie McGee's where there would be a foam party later.

I didn't have my camera. Dang it.

There was the unveiling of David Litchenstein of Big Daddy's Choppers' Lethal Threat Chopper. All I know about motorcycles and choppers has been taught to me by Jack while walking among all the bikes on Crockett Street after many nights of many cocktails. So, while it was a great looking bike, the crowd was way more impressed than I was by way more things than I could begin to understand.

Yep. No camera.
(However, you can go to the Hog Wild Bar website to see pictures. For some reason, every time I try to create a direct link to the site, it deletes part of this post so, here's the link so you can do that copy/past thingy:

After our little group winning many trivia questions (prize: a drink AND a shot) and me winning a basketball bet with Jack, it was time for the 80's Dance Contest which Terry coerced Bonnie into entering. Terry danced first followed by five unknowns (unknown to us, that is) including the defending dance contest champion and a little tiny young girl with some fabulous stripper moves. The little tiny young girl danced right before Bonnie. Bonnie told the DJ (Lee Pelly who, by the way, rocks on oh so many, many levels), that she couldn't follow that. Lee told her, "You can do it, Bonnie! Just dance!" Well, as you can guess from the title, Bonnie kicked 80's music dance butt and won $100! The audience went wild!!!

No fucking camera.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Ryan, Melinda, Goof: Idol Chatter

I had someone end up at this blog by the search phrase, "Ryan accidentally says Melinda going home." I think I might be able to clarify this.

Right before one of American Idol's 10,000 breaks, Ryan said, "After the break, Melinda goes home." I actually rewound (if that's the correct term) my DVR to see if I heard that right. That is, in fact, what Ryan said. However, he was referring to Melinda's video montage of her trip back to her hometown rather than her eventual elimination. Along with her "death" dress, I took this as a bad omen.

Regarding Melinda actually going home, I posted that I thought this would happen last week so I was a bit early. I don't believe all the stories about the show being "fixed" but I do tend to believe conspiracy theories and the surprise results on this show do seem to be pretty predictable

Although I think Blake and Jordin will make a more interesting finale, with most of Melinda's votes probably going to Jordin, I doubt that it will be a very close vote.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Something I Stumbled Upon...


Makoto Nagano - Ninja Warrior

This is the first I've seen of this video and I didn't know this program existed.

Edited to add:To watch Ninja Warrior in Southeast Texas, tune to channel 451 on Thursday evenings on Time Warner cable.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Today's Walk

Below is a slideshow of some of the fascinating things I saw on my walk this afternoon. I saw a good looking guy jogging but I was afraid he might find me odd if he heard the click of my camera as he jogged away from me. Maybe tomorrow, ladies.

I found the Victorian house I was looking for on my Sunday walk but I didn't have my camera with me. When I left the house Sunday, my neighborhood was on the fringes of a thunderstorm so, I was in a bit of a hurry when I left the house trying to beat the storm and I forgot to grab my camera.

I asked my daughter-in-law later if it was better to walk in the middle of the street, away from trees, and thus become the tallest thing in the area and a certain lightning target or was it better to walk closer to the trees so they would be the victim of a lightning strike. She called me Monday night and told me about a group of men in Houston who were standing under a tree and were all injured in a lightning strike. Her educated opinion: don't walk in a thunderstorm...period. Good advice.

Monday, May 14, 2007

TAPS Paramagazine

I'm really just posting this because I like the picture. However, if you happen to be interested in subscribing to the TAPS Paramagazine, you can click here.

Don't Wait for Me

Please, I beg you, don't wait for me.

Every morning, some nice person will stop and wait for me to cross the street from my parking lot to my building. Every evening some other nice person will wait for me to go back across that same street. Several times a day, people will invariably hold the elevator for me as I'm walking toward it.

Please, don't wait for me. I didn't ask you to wait for me. I didn't blindly walk into the street so you would stop and let me pass. Please, move along.

To those of you who don't live in a place where people are so nice and considerate, I know you must think this is a strange request. However, for every nice person who waits for me, there are people in the car behind that nice person or standing in the elevator behind that nice person shooting daggers at me with their eyes.

Honest, really, don't wait for me.

I see your eyes, car people. Don't deny it. You're thinking, "What the fuck is that car in front of me stopping for?! Oh, goddamn it, drive already!! Oh, now I see. That silly woman couldn't wait five seconds to let us drive past. Walk, already you silly woman!"

The elevator people are watching me thinking, "Catch the next elevator, you silly woman! We're late! Why should we wait for you? Somebody let the elevator door close on her spoiled silly ass! She couldn't wait two minutes for the next elevator?!"

Oh, yes.

I see your mean eyes.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Jamie's Baby Shower

Saturday, my daughter-in-law Jamie's sisters and friends gave her a beautiful baby shower at Jamie's mom's house. Click here to see all the pictures. Some of the highlights are in the slideshow below.

My son's friends gave him a diapers shower and my son is proud to announce that they have exactly 1,000 diapers to start out. Not bad.

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Today, some of my friends at work gave me a surprise Grand-Fabulous-Mother luncheon and a wonderful basket of baby things. The wonderful baby things included the adorable blanket in the picture above which was made by the ever-talented Carly. The "card" was created by each of the girls writing messages under the lid of the baby bin.

A word of advice if planning a surprise party for me. There is no need to fret that I will ever catch on. This whole thing was planned, literally, right under my nose. All of the girls told me of various slips and near slips that they were sure had given away their secret. I never had a clue.
  • I walked up to the table and saw Carly aiming a camera at me and assumed she was just trying out a new camera.
  • I saw the huge gift on the conference room table and thought it was something someone was working on for someone else.
  • I was at my own surprise Grand-Fabulous-Mother Shower and, for at least 10 minutes, I still thought it was also a birthday party for Shannon.

They told me that the next time they plan to surprise me, they're just going to include me in the planning. It'll be a lot easier that way. Believe me, I'll never catch on.

Thanks Carly, Mary Beth, Shannon, Stephanie, Sue and Darlene. You guys made my day.

What the hell was that?!

As I sit here, something is going on in my attic. For a couple of weeks now, I've heard something up there when I sit here at my computer. I'm pretty sure it's a bunch of baby birds. I tried to convince myself they were in the tree outside my window. Denial is my best friend.

A few seconds ago, I heard something run across the attic floor right above my head. Maybe it was a squirrel, but it sounded bigger like maybe a cat or a raccoon. I'm not letting my brain go to rat because then I'll have to move.

The birds, or whatever they are, are freaking the fuck out. Hell, I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm afraid to open the closet door that has the attic access for fear the whole Wild Kingdom scenario will come crashing down into my house.

Circle of life, my ass. I hate nature.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

American Idol -

So, I was wrong about a big shocker and Melinda going home. I plead confusion because this season has totally confused me.

First I couldn't wait for Antonella and Sanjaya to go home. Then, for reasons I can't quite put my finger on, the contestants who were left behind after they were gone just didn't excite me. I found myself longing for someone to hate because at least hate is an emotion. Disinterest doesn't interest me.

When I watched the preview of the American Idol Summer Tour, I thought, "Meh." I've never thought "meh" in connection with American Idol before.


American Idol - My Predictions

Based on past history of this show, this is how it's going to go down:

  • Tonight, after much drama, dark lighting, ominous music and Ryan frittering about, Melinda will go home.
  • Next week, after much humble-ness from Lakisha, because she will know she should have gone home the previous week and much Ryan frittering about, Lakisha will go home.
  • The final will be Blake and Jordin.
  • Jordin is your next American Idol.

These predictions are not based on talent or performances. In my opinion, the order, from bottom to top should be: Lakisha, Blake, Jordin,,, Melinda...definitely...maybe.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007


I went to see Stomp last night and, man, that show is some kind of crazy. Sure, it's been around for a very long time, but this was the first time I had seen it and I loved it.

There were a couple of women in the cast who had the most amazing deltoids. I think I'll take up drumming, possibly ala Matthew McConaughey, and do some nude bongo-ing. That's my kind of drumming.

I have no pictures of dinner because, unlike my New Orleans friends and my friends from last weekend's outing, these friends are notoriously camera shy. I'm not giving up though. I have ways of making you let me snap you. Your visage is mine, my pretties.

Monday, May 07, 2007

What sounds like a duck, acts like a duck but is not a duck?

We went to a family reunion yesterday and it was a combination Courville/Hebert reunion. There were a lot of my uncle's Hebert (A-Bear to you non-Louisiana French people) family there that we didn't know. A lot.

At one point, my sister Bonnie pointed to the front of the tent and said, "Oh, my God, that Hebert woman over there laughs like a duck."

I said, "I heard that earlier. That's not a duck?"

"No! It's that woman!" Bonnie laughed.

We all laughed. Then, Bonnie decided to imitate the woman and laughed like a duck.

I said, "Great, Bonnie. Now, Uncle Jay's family on the back side of the tent is pointing over here and saying, 'Oh, my God, that Courville woman over there laughs like a duck."

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Cinco de Oh-My-Oh

Last night was a double header of celebrations out at Crockett Street. First was Christi's 40th birthday party at Bobbie McGee's then it was a rehearsal of Jen's bachelorette party at the Star Bar. That's all the details I have since I celebrated the evening by drinking Black Russians with Melissa and they leave huge holes in my memory. Check out the slideshow below and you'll know as much as I do about the evening.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007


At work this afternoon, in preparation for Cinco de Mayo, because I am nothing if not prepared, I am listening to the Caliente station on XM which plays that kind of music you hear in Mexican restaurants that makes you want to dance after you've had too many margaritas and I'm drinking a Monster.

P.S. Have you ever noticed that 99% of all hispanic songs contain the word "corazon?"


Thursday, May 03, 2007

Call Your Brother!

I spoke to my brother today and found out how to become an M&M...

Click here to become an M&M.

I also found out that Ron Zacapa is the best rum you'll ever taste. I'm not much of a rum drinker, but for my brother, I'm willing to give it a shot.


Get it?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Go North, Young Woman!

For this afternoon's walk, I decided to just go north for 15 minutes then turn around and go home. My goal was to find a Victorian house I once drove past. I never did find the house but I found a place called Longwood Villas.

I had no idea those "villas" were back there. It was a lovely little area of garden homes with a huge sign that said "No Trespassing." So, I went in. When I got toward the back of the neighborhood, I saw a house with the street number 5666 and heard some huge dogs barking. I decided it was time to leave Longwood Villas.

So far today, I only have 6500 steps. I'm starting to have absurd thoughts like getting up early and walking 30 minutes in the morning as well as 30 minutes in the evening in order to make my 10,000 steps. That's just crazy talk.

That Tasted Oddly Familiar

I am eating a piece of leftover birthday cake that someone left in the break room. I don't know who brought the cake to the office. I don't know whose birthday it was. I don't give a shit. I will eat anything that anyone leaves in the kitchen on the anybody-can-eat-this table.

One day, I'm going to accidentally eat cat food off of that table. Maybe that will cure my random grazing.

Hmmmm, that bite tasted like candle.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007


I took my camera with me on my afternoon walk today because when I went walking the other day, I saw all sorts of wonderful things. I saw rolling papers and dead worms and lots and lots of dog poo.

Although I searched high (excuse the pun) and low for the rolling papers today, I couldn't find them. I did, however, find the amputated G.I. Joe doll leg I saw the other day.


More pics below.

Walking total for today: 8000 steps