Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Rumors are swirling that Simon Cowell will leave American Idol after this season. Paula is already gone. I don't like change, but it keeps being thrust upon me. Bastards.
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins are splitting up after 23 years. I hate, hate, hate hearing things like that. Hate it.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
My sister Terry pulled my name. She gave me this amazing picture of Ava. The picture was taken by our photographer friend Trish at my nephew Elliott's wedding...
Click here for a slideshow of all of my Christmas photos and videos. I'll be posting more of them here soon.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
"Here's what you do, Bonnie," I said. "Put a big bow on it and put it under mom's Christmas tree tonight."
"Why?" asked Bonnie.
"The first person who comes in tonight and says, 'WOW! A microwave? Who's getting a microwave?'" I answered, "You look at them and say, 'YOU!'"
Anybody need a microwave? Get thyself to mom's house tonight. There will also be gumbo.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
How A Bone Disease Grew To Fit The Prescription : NPR
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I scrolled back and found that the program on the Smithsonian Channel was actually called, "Wings of Honor."
Personally, I'd rather see the wino program.
Ava and her cousin Cameron visit Santa.
Ava and her mom
Ava admiring her Christmas tree.
The Grand-Fabulous Ava
Friday, December 18, 2009
I do have a piece of advice for you. Never listen to your 3:00 a.m. brain. It's a spinny, out-of-control thing that will tell you that every major decision you've ever made in your life was wrong. It will also tell you that since every past decision was wrong, every future decision will be wrong and you will be doomed to spend the rest of your life in, to quote Hee Haw (and who doesn't like to quote Hee Haw), "...deep dark depression, excessive mi-ser-y."
Eventually, you will go back to sleep and when you wake up, your 6:00 a.m. brain will slap your 3:00 a.m. brain upside the medulla oblongata and tell it to shut the hell up. Your 3:00 a.m. brain is not your friend. Remember that.
And, now a word from our sponsor...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tonight, I got home from work, drove up to my mailbox and found two real life Christmas cards inside. When I got in the house, I sat on the couch and grabbed for my laptop to read e-mails instead of first opening the actual Christmas cards from actual people who took the actual time to mail actual Christmas cards.
I went to mom's tonight and brought her a belated birthday present because she was out of town for her birthday. While I was there, she gave me one of those fabulous Christmas cans of popcorn filled with four different kinds of yummy popcorn.
So, now I'm sitting on the couch eating a supper of every combination of caramel/butter/white cheddar/yellow cheddar popcorn I can create while watching Psychic Kids on A&E. Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve to me.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Beaver's Christmas Tree Farm
4382 FM 1009
Farm Features: Restrooms, Wrapping Service, Shaking Service, Cutting Service, and School Tours
Type of Cutting Available: Pre-Cut and Choose-and-Cut
Choose and Cut Tree Types: Virginia Pine
Pre-Cut Tree Types: Fraser Fir
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
As of December 31, I will be officially unemployed from the job I have had for the last ten years. Business is slow and all that.
However, I have high hopes and lots of contacts and great faith that I'll find another paralegal/legal secretary job before December 31. I do realize that "secretary" is not the politically correct term these days...administrative assistant is the preferable term...but I am and always will be a secretary at heart.
Wish me luck, say some prayers and send good vibes. I know I'll find something fabulous.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Did you know that when the sausage links are being grilled, they sometimes split open? Did you also know that those split sausages go into a separate "junk" pan and cannot be sold as a "link on a bun?" And, did you know that those split sausage links are delicious little gifts from the gods and that tasting one will make you want to slap your momma? I am now obsessed with juicy, split, "junk" sausage links. Just what I need...another food obsession.
Note to all 1974 graduates of Thomas Jefferson High School in Port Arthur, Texas: we're looking for you. Click on the flier below for information on how to contact Karin Shepherd with your information.
That's me in the front in the red coat. I was initially kneeling down and it took about five of those people to help me up. My 54 year old knees, cold weather, twenty extra pounds and three layers of clothes conspired with gravity to hold me down. One of the beautiful things about hanging out with people who are exactly the same age as you is that everyone could relate to my dilemma and they were proud of my courage for attempting to kneel down in the first place.
Randy told us that he's always had a hard time convincing his children that he was "hot" in high school. That's what dads do. They try to convince their kids they used to be "hot."
Moms on the other hand work hard trying to convince their kids that they absolutely, positively did not "make out" with anybody under the football stands and certainly didn't speak to the people who smoked dope in the empty field across the street from the school. Moms also never snuck into bars, drank alcohol while under age or made illegal u-turns while cruising "the drag."
Making money while "working the street"
Occasionally while holding their signs (see picture above) and trying to lure people to our tasty goods, drivers would stop and hand money to our sign holders. Margaret was very excited about the $3 someone handed her from a car window. Shortly after Margaret's wonderful $3 moment though, Randy came up to us flashing a five dollar bill.
Margaret still isn't buying it. She maintains that he paid somebody $10 to give him $5. "So, it's a wash," she says. That's her story and she's sticking to it. Nobody works the street like the women of the Class of '74. Especially not the MEN of the Class of '74.
Even we have more sense than that
Shortly after two of our classmates took the signs and headed to the street, they started walking back toward the tents.
"HEY! No way," I said. "Get back out there. It's not that cold, you bunch of old timers."
"Well," one of them said, "We decided it wasn't a good idea to hold our signs up and shout at the funeral procession."
I looked at the street just in time to see the hearse pass by.
Yep, Class of '74. We're a class act.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
You just have to see it, too. Off you go...
Friday, December 04, 2009
When I say snow "again," you have to put it into southeast Texas perspective. It's sleeting right now and should be snowing within the next twenty minutes or so. This will be the earliest snow ever in southeast Texas. So, by "again" I mean it snowed one time last year...and now, a year later, it's going to snow again. That's a big deal here.
Take back what I said about snowing in "twenty minutes or so." It's snowing now!
Just spoke to my son, my grand-fabulous-daughter, my mom and my baby sister. Ava is so excited. Hell, we all are.
My friend Jennifer's daughter MaKayla playing in the snow (via a Facebook photo). Check out the kid in the background. HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
No pictures from me from Beaumont. The snow didn't stick, dammit.
It just hit 32 degrees here and it's snowing harder and sticking. Probably end up with less than 1/2 inch of accumulation. Dammit...again.
Okay, maybe a few pictures...
((updates as the mood hits me...))
Thursday, December 03, 2009
If he had come to my door with promises of free massages and instructions to gradually remove my clothes, I...well, I...never mind.
DENTON, Texas (AP) - Denton police are looking for an assault suspect who posed as a massage student to touch a woman and then ask her out.
A police report said the 21-year-old Denton woman answered a knock at her door by someone who claimed he was doing field work for a massage class.
She let the man into her apartment and allowed him to massage her, but became suspicious when he asked her to keep taking off more clothes Monday.
Police say the woman finally got the man to leave, but not before he asked her to go on a date.
She called the massage school and was told the man was not enrolled. She then called police.
A detective did not immediately return a message Wednesday from The Associated Press.
(Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
My beautiful friend Jen and the lovely Brian are expecting their first baby. I think this picture of Jen and her dad comparing bellies is just adorable. The look on dad's face is so touching and full of love it makes my heart feel all warm and mushy.
Click here for a story about how I fought the law to make it to Jen's wedding on time.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Away in a manger,
No crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus
Laid down His sweet head.
That's when I realized that Baby Jesus is my favorite Jesus. So little. So sweet.
Adolescent Jesus seems like he was a handful, running off and hanging out with teachers and all, and the Jesus who kicked everybody out of the temple scares me.
Of course, the Jesus that turned water into wine and whipped up all those loaves and fishes would be cool to hang out with and the Jesus who calmed the storm would come in handy here on the Gulf coast.
Jesus on the cross makes me sad and resurrected Jesus makes me aware of my unawesomeness and I would always be averting my eyes around him.
But, Baby Jesus. Ah, yes. Baby Jesus. I could hug him and squeeze him and run with him and make him laugh.
Baby Jesus. He's my favorite.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Dodge Ram commercial: "I am full..." Seriously. WTF?
Monday, November 23, 2009
You'll recognize the Grand-Fabulous-Ava and the Amazing Cory and the Incredible Jamie. The Incredible Jamie not only performed the ceremony, she made the punch. Now, that's what I call multi-tasking.