Audiobooks.com commercial: I'm confused

I'm personally not a fan of audiobooks. I have a problem focusing on someone yapping in my ear while I'm trying to do other things. I tried listening to books on tape years ago when I had to drive back and forth to Houston on a semi-regular basis and this was the result:

Listen to book on tape...

Think about grocery list...

Cuss...

Rewind...

Listen to book on tape...

Pass Pappasito's and think about margaritas...

Cuss...

Rewind...

Listen to book on tape...

Realize I have to use the bathroom and wonder if I can make it to my destination without stopping...

Cuss...

Rewind...

Repeat.

Audiobooks.com has a commercial which shows people doing various things while listening to a book and smiling blissfully at the wonders of twenty year old technology. The people in the commercial are walking, cleaning house, driving and doing various other activities which aren't usually conducive to book reading in the old fashioned hold-it-in-your hands manner.

My problem with the commercial is that it also shows people sitting on the couch? sitting on a park bench? laying in bed? While listening to an audiobook. Why are they listening to a book when they could be reading a book? This caused me to go all Fahrenheit 451 in my head and freak out over audiobooks and Kindles and Nooks and iPads.

I want my book to feel like a book, smell like a book and have real actual pages that I really actually have to turn. I feel your pain Ray Bradbury. I feel it.

Kia Sorento Commercial Song - How Do You Like Me Now?

I hate this f*cking commercial...and I've seen it at least 25 times tonight.

Dodge Ram commercial: "I am full..." Seriously. WTF?

Do they think we're that dumb?

Southern Comfort is now So Co? Says who?



Headline News is not HLN? Why?

National Geographic is now Nat Geo. Et tu, National Geographic?

Some ad guys somewhere decided that abbreviating the names of these iconic symbols of American life would make them more hip and cool. The sad part is that it probably worked.

Dr. Pepper Barbeque Sauce? Why not?

I love Dr. Pepper. In Texas, we call all soft drinks "Coke", but I would call Dr. Pepper the soft drink of choice for most of us here.

During summer vacation in the '60s, we used to walk to Burger Chef at least once a day and I would always order a cherry Dr. Pepper. I now get my cherry Dr. Pepper at Sonic and I can't wait to try the new cherry Dr. Pepper that Gene Simmons is so excited about.



Today I opened the coupon pamphlets in the Sunday newspaper and I see there is now a Dr. Pepper barbecue sauce. Texans love barbecue and Texans love Dr. Pepper. Sounds like a match made in barbecue sauce heaven, right? I'll let you know how it is as soon as I try it.

Here are some vintage Dr. Pepper commercials. Be sure to watch the last one. WTF?

Yeah.

I'm a Pepper.

Sponge my garbage

I constantly see questions online and in magazines and newspapers asking how to keep sponges smelling fresh. People. You can buy about a hundred sponges for a buck at the dollar store. When your sponge starts smelling like stinky feet, THROW IT AWAY. Go crazy. Buy a whole bag of new sponges. For a buck.

By the way, if you're the kind of person who waits until your sponge starts smelling like stinky feet before you throw it away, don't invite me over for dinner. I prefer to get my salmonella from peanut butter.

You know what? Don't even buy nasty ass sponges. They're little bacteria condominiums. Buy a sack of lovely colorful rags at the dollar store and use a new one every day. That's why God invented washing machines.

On another disgusting subject, I just saw a commercial for scented garbage bags. Allegedly, you need this product so your garbage won't stink up your house. Here's an idea. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE!

Why?

• Why are there so many truck commercials?


• Why do car salesmen yell in those commercials?


• Why do 90% of the men in Texas think they have to have a truck?


• Why do 80% of those men think their truck has to be able to pull a train engine?


• Why do truck commercials use the same Bob Seeger/Toby Keith/some other tough guy song for their theme song way longer than they should?


• Why do these things annoy me so?

Song from Saturn Aura Commercial

Tim Myers MySpace

Tim Myers Web Page

Tim Myers Wikipedia

Tim Myers Good Life video...



Saturn Aura Commercial...

Earworm(s)...sort of

Earworm!

From Saturday Night Live...

Direct to consumer marketing, oh, how I hate you

I've been home sick for two days. After watching everything in my DVR and all of my NetFlix movies (between naps), I was forced to watch daytime television. I'm not a television snob and, if I didn't have to work all day, I'd surely be addicted to at least three soap operas and The Price is Right.

My problem with daytime television and, more and more, the evening news, is the astonishing amount of direct to consumer advertising done my pharmaceutical companies. I can't prescribe drugs, most of the people I know can't prescribe drugs and I certainly hope that the people who can prescribe drugs aren't doing it based on an ad they saw on television, read in a magazine or heard on the radio.

The thing that disturbs me the most about pharmaceutical ads isn't the long list of worrisome side effects. I actually kind of enjoy those. The most disturbing thing for me and for everyone should be the amount of money spent on those ads which could be spent on research and development and, more importantly, lowering prices to consumers. Here are some stats:

• the United States and New Zealand are the only two countries in the world that allow direct to consumer pharmaceutical advertising; and
• it is estimated that the pharmaceutical companies pay $4 billion annually on direct to consumer marketing. That's billion...with a b.

Click here to send a letter to your congressman and click here to read a better written article by someone who isn't on meds and falling asleep every fifteen minutes.

Meatloaf for AT&T

This one's for you, Jack...



The original...

Apple iBook Commercial

Another "Who Sings the Song From That Commercial?" Post. This time it's for the Apple iBook. The song is New Soul and it's sung by Yael Naim.

At Your Service

I've had about ten hits on my statcounter this afternoon from people searching for the song played on the new J. C. Penney's Christmas commercial. It's called "All That I Want" by The Weepies (click here for their website.).

You're welcome.

All That I Want
Words and music by Deb Talan and Steve Tannen

Out in the harbor
The ships come in, it's Christmastime
The kids all holler carols 'cross the water
Stars that shine
All that I want, all that I want

Above the rooftops
The full moon dips its golden spoon
I wait on clip-clops, deer might fly
Why not? I met you
All that I want, all that I want

And when the night is falling
Down the sky at midnight
Another year is stalling
Far away a good bye, good night
All that I want., all that I want, all that I want

So small a turning
The world grows older every day
An ache, a yearning
Soften when I hear you say
All that I want, all that I want

And when the cold wind's blowing
Snow drifts through the pine trees
In houses lights are glowing
Likewise in your eyes that find me here
With all that I want.

Out in the harbor
The ships come in, it's Christmastime
It's Christmastime
It's Christmastime.

©2002 Deb Talan & Steve Tannen (ASCAP/BMI). All rights reserved.




I also found this interesting site all about music in advertising.

Now, isn't that nice?

I heard a radio commercial for a "gentlemen's club" and wondered what genius came up with such a sophisticated name for such an unsophisticated place. Granted, some of those "gentlemen's clubs" put in a great deal of effort in an attempt to spruce up the place, but lets be realistic. It's still a strip joint.

I have a few other suggestions to upgrade the names of a few other things:

• Complimentary Governmental Income Compliance Meeting - IRS audit
• Alfresco Bladder Evacuation Unit - outhouse
• Human Population Control Organism - black plague

While we're on commercials

My blogging friend Beguile Me sent me a link to the following J.C. Penney commercial which I had never seen. Adorable!

Old Navy and J. C. Penney Commercial Musicians

Ingrid Michaelson, "The Way I am" for Old Navy



Regina Spektor, "Life Inside the Music Box" for J.C. Penney



Lyrics for "Life Inside the Music Box"

Life inside the musicbox ain't easy
The mallets hit
The gears are always turning
And everyone inside the mechanism
Is yearning to get out
And sing another melody completely
So different from the one they're always singing
I close my eyes and think that I have found me
But then I feel mortality surround me
I want to sing another melody
So different from the one I always sing
But when I do the dishes
I run the water very very very hot
And then I fill the sink to the top with bubbles of soap
And then I set all the bottle caps I own afloat
And it's the greatest voyage in the history of plastic
And then I slip my hands in and start to make waves
And then I dip my tongue in and take a taste
It tastes like soap but it doesn't really taste like soap
And then I lower in my whole mouth and take a gulp
And start to feel mortality surround me
I close my eyes and think that I have found me
But life inside the musicbox ain't easy
The mallets hit
The gears are always turning
And every one inside the mechanism
Is yearning to get out
And sing another melody completely
Is yearning to get out
Is yearning to get out
Is yearning to get out

People Get Paid to Do That?

I just saw a commercial for Aquapod bottled water. It's regular old spring water that is bottled in a shape to appeal to kids. Supposedly, the water is "orbtastic."

It's water, just water. Yet, by just changing the shape of the bottle, the water becomes "orbtastic." I shudder to think of the amount of time spent around advertising agency conference room tables promoting and selling this concept to enable their client to sell more water. Just water.

Come to think of it, a person can also buy dirt, grass, wild flowers and oxygen. I wish I could think of a cool way to package ear wax and toe cheese. I'd make a million.

There's a little bit of Broadway in...everyone?

There is a television commercial being broadcast promoting the upcoming Tony Awards. The commercial innocently, arrogantly, ridiculously states that there's a "little bit of Broadway in everyone."

No.

No, there isn't.