Sunday, January 30, 2011

Starvin Marvin's Bar & Grill

A group of us went to Starvin Marvin's when they first opened.  At that time, they had a limited menu and marginal service.  I've gone back a couple of times since that first visit, but it was just for drinks and appetizers on the patio.  I finally went again for dinner and everything was wonderful.

They have a beautiful outdoor area and live music Wednesday through Saturday with no cover charge.  I highly recommend the crawfish nachos.

Since the website doesn't have a copy of the menu, I'm posting it here.

Starvin Marvin's Bar & Grill
2310 N. 11th Street
Beaumont, TX   77703
(409) 234-5002

Monday: 11am - 12am
Tuesday: 11am - 12am
Wednesday: 11am - 12am
Thursday: 11am - 2am
Friday: 11am - 2am
Saturday: 11am - 2am
Sunday: 11am - 12am

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thomas Jefferson All Alumni (and friends) Monthly Gathering

Every month for the last couple of years alumni from my high school, Thomas Jefferson in Port Arthur, Texas, have gotten together the last Saturday (sometimes Friday) of the month to hang out and harass each other.  In the past, we've mostly had alumni from 1972-ish through 1980-ish, but everybody is invited and if you'd like to join us, don't be shy about bringing friends. 

This month, our gathering will be Saturday, January 29, 2011, at the Logon Cafe .  The Logon is at 3805 Calder Avenue (beside CVS and across the street from Kroger) in Beaumont.  The sound is great and they also have delicious food.  The band starts at 8:30 p.m., but some of us will be there by 7:30 p.m.

The band Saturday night will be Longneck Road, which is one of my favorite local bands.  Class of 1973 alumni Ron Arceneaux is in the band and I work with the talented founder/singer/musician/songwriter Dick LeMasters.

You can find more details on the TJ Alumni Happenings events tab on Facebook.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

An Exercise Class I Would Pay For

Today as I was jamming in the car to Donna Summer, I had a revelation.  Zumba is alright, but the music is not relatable to me.  I would pay actual money to join an exercise class that played just disco and funk and perhaps a smidge of Rolling Stones. 

No stretching.  No warming up.  No cooling down.  No standing in rows.  No instructor shouting encouragement and requiring me to do specific unattainable exercise moves.  It would just be a big room with flashing lights, a disco ball and straight move-your-body music for an hour.  I would go every afternoon.

I realize I could do this in a bar, but I couldn't do it from 5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. and be sitting on my couch by 7:00 p.m.  Not to mention the fact that my gym clothes and tennis shoes are ever so much more comfortable than my bar hopping clothes and there would be no concerns for makeup mishaps or hair touch-ups.  Probably most importantly, the several beers I would consume in a bar would offset my calorie burning mission.

I also realize I could do this alone for free in my own home, but isn't dancing like a maniac so much more fun when you do it with other people? 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Movies I Can't Pass Up When Channel Surfing

I just saw a list of movies that Mike Rowe Can't Channel Surf By.  Below is my list.  This is not a list of my favorite movies.  That's a different list.  Right now, I'm watching "Stripes."  It's not listed below, but it's a good one.  "That's the fact, Jack!"

In no particular order and with the certainty that I'm leaving something off...

Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Annie Hall
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Any 1950s era scifi or horror movie
So, I Married an Axe Murderer
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the one with Donald Sutherland)
When Harry Met Sally
The 'Burbs
The Money Pit
Midnight Run
Dr. Strangelove
Funny Farm
What About Bob?
Barefoot in the Park
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Support Your Local Sheriff
Honeymoon in Vegas
A Summer Place
Where the Boys Are
Valley Girl
A Star is Born (the one with Kris Kristofferson)
Outrageous Fortune
Down and Out in Beverly Hills

Friday, January 21, 2011

Penis Enhancement Anyone?

I was cleaning out my junk e-mail earlier and saw one with a subject line for "penis enhancement." I deleted it and moved on to the next e-mail.  As I was deleting the next e-mail, it occurred to me how nonchalantly I had deleted the "penis enhancement" e-mail. 

There was a day when stumbling across pictures of gynecological views of lady parts while doing an innocent search for bing cherries or seeing the word penis in my e-mail in-box would have possibly shocked me or at least made me hesitate.  Not anymore.

I Google through the images of penises and va-jay-jays without thought or hesitation until I find what I'm looking for.  I delete e-mails with subject lines that would send your grandmother screaming from the room without a hint of shock or embarrassment.

My apologies to all of you who happened upon this blog post while actually searching for penile enhancement tools or gynecological views of lady parts.  Keep searching.  Trust me, they're out there.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Now We Have Dead Cows, Too

Let's add dead cows to the list of weird dead things.  First birds, then fish, then crustaceans and now mammals.  Still think it's not aliens performing weird lab experiments on earthling type species?  Pneumonia my ass.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

American Idol 2011 - Episode 1

Don't let Simon up there fool you.  I owe Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler an apology.  For the last few months, I've been whining and moaning about American Idol's decision to make them judges.  Tonight, I take it back. 

I could do without Steven Tyler screeching every five minutes, but it's still better than listening to Kara DeLaGuardiaAirport's annoying repetitive comments.  There is another not so minor problem with Steven Tyler being on the judge's panel other than the screeching.  I watched the first ten minutes of the show on my 13-inch television upstairs while exercising.  When I moved downstairs to my 42-inch television, Steven's 62 years and weird nose were there to behold in high definition. Dude does not look like a lady.

Jennifer Lopez wasn't obnoxious, as expected, and made a lovely and sympathetic judge.  Randy is still goofy and there were times when he would try to make fun of a contestant and would look to his right for some Simon-ish reinforcement, but got none from Steve-O or J-Lo.  A week ago, I would have never thought I'd say this, but Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez were too classy to act like jerks with Randy.  At least, that's how the show was edited.

I didn't think I would enjoy American Idol without Simon and now, I'm confused.  Does getting rid of Kara and going back to three judges make up for the loss of Simon? I guess it far, anyway.

Monday, January 17, 2011

In Praise of the Lesser Bilby

According to CNN...

"A team of scientists from Japan, Russia and the United States hopes to clone a mammoth, a symbol of Earth’s ice age that ended 12,000 years ago, according to a report in Japan’s Yomiuri Shimbun. The researchers say they hope to produce a baby mammoth within six years."

This is a bad idea.  While Google-ing around...I mean...while researching the wooly mammoth, I found a few lists of other not quite so scary extinct mammals that I would prefer these guys attempt to clone instead of something that is going to probably come back and bite them...and all of us...on our collective asses.

1.  Megaloceros - Huge ass deer/elk.  Seven feet tall at the shoulders, twelve foot antler span.  I know we all have friends who would like to give this guy a shot.  Literally.

2.  Dodo Bird - I've always felt sorry for the dodo bird, because as Wikipedia...I my research shows, "...its extinction occurred during recorded human history and was directly attributable to human activity."  We owe it to the dodo bird to bring him back since we extincted him.

3.  Great Auk - This one deserves to be brought back because, "The last known auk in Scotland was executed in 1840, after local villagers thought that it was a witch."  Scotland. What the hell?

4.  Lesser Bilby - Just because he's cute...

As a side note, scientists, lets not clone anything in the extinct rodent family.  Bison sized guinea pig?  I'm not cleaning that cage.


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Searching for "The Blunt Harpoon"

When I first started blogging in 2004, I acquired a few blogging friends that I have to this day:  Deek, Lorna, Se7en, Astrid, Abby Taylor, Jen T, Wang Chi, Silly Man, Danno, Aisha, SoCal Mom, GnightGirl.

Others have come and gone (Old Horsetail Snake [RIP], Sleepybomb, Sophmom, Dr. Sauce, Marinade Dave, Hattaraspainter), but I still think about them.  One that I think about in particular is Lauren (Dr. Sauce) who was a 14 year old girl and author of a fabulous blog called "The Blunt Harpoon."  She was an amazing writer, not just for her age, but for any age.  She would be around 20 years old now and I wonder about her life and how she's doing.

Lauren, if you're out there, Se7en and I hope you're well and happy and would love to hear from you.  We're both still blogging and us old timers are even on "The Facebooks."  Stalk us...please.

Ninja Toes

Not my big toe.

I just had to throw away my fourth pair of warm fuzzy winter slipper socks, because my big toes are poking through.  What the hell?  When did I acquire ninja big toes that are so strong and stealth that they feel they must ruin all of my fuzzy socks?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Say My Name, Say My Name, Say My Name

I do not know this man nor do I know if he will or will not make a fine Republican National Commitee chairman.  What I DO know is that, for some reason, his name makes me want to run screaming into the cold dark night.  I have no explanation for that.  

Reince Priebus. 



Jesus is Watching You, Asshole

I was just driving home from seeing a wonderful Rolling Stones tribute band called Satisfaction, which was amazing, by the way, and I danced a lot...people really don't dance enough, you know...but that's not my point. 

My point is that as I was driving home, I came to a spot in the road where the people to my right are supposed to STOP at a stop sign...a STOP sign...before merging onto the road on which I am minding my own business and driving at the posted rate of speed.

Of course, the asshole to my right did not stop at the STOP sign and just drove right on through like he was the king of Phelan Boulevard or something.  He came nowhere near hitting me, but still.  Asshole.

Of course, he accomplished nothing by running the stop sign and ended up right in front of me at the very next stop light.  As I was sitting there staring at the back of his stupid stop-sign-running car, I noticed a Jesus fish on the back of his car. 

A Jesus fish.

On his car.  For the world to see.

Jesus is watching you.



Friday, January 14, 2011


I have a sudden uncontrollable urge to possess a sundial.  I wonder what that's all about.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Just Say Thank You

Today, somebody told me my hair looked nice.  The thoughts that ran through my head simultaneously were:

"Yeah, hair likes this cold, dry weather, but the rest of me hates it.  I can't get warm and my nose burns from the heater never shutting off while I'm sleeping.  I hate cold weather."


"Yeah, but...I need a haircut."


"Yeah, day it looks good.  The next day it looks like crap.  I have no control over it whatsoever, hence, I cannot accept your compliment."

Instead of saying any of that, my response was, "Thaaaaanks." It was an oh-woe-is-me "thanks" that might have come out of Eeyore's mouth.  My complimenter gave me a confused look, because she could see behind my eyes that there was more to be said.  I just stared back at her until she finally walked away.  Awwwkward. 

Actual elapsed time:  about 5 seconds.  Time spent fretting about it: 12 hours.

I'm trying to teach myself to accept a compliment without also giving a "Yeah, but..." response.  My attempts at self improvement frequently end awkwardly.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

New Chaba! New Chaba! New Chaba...with a BAR!

One of my favorite restaurants in Beaumont, Chaba Thai Cuisine, is expanding.  Not only is it opening a new location, the new location is about two minutes from my house and will have a full bar.  Here's the whole article from the Beaumont Enterprise:

Second Chaba Thai location boasts full bar

By Beth Rankin (409) 880-0787

Apparently Beaumont just can’t get enough Pad Kee Mao.

For the last three years, Chaba Thai Cuisine has been serving 30 to 40 patrons at a time from its modest location on East Lucas.

But owners were tired of helplessly watching as impatient lunch customers left because of limited seating and an ever-growing line out the door.

So in early February, owners will open a second Chaba Thai Cuisine location at 6434 Phelan in the former East Dragon Asian Buffet.

“Right now we know that some people, when they come to eat at a busy time, some people cannot get in because there are no spaces for parking,” said Thanitsara Trongjittham, one of the restaurant’s owners.

“Sometimes it’s too packed for them, especially because they have a short time for lunch.”

The new location can seat about 130 people and will have an expanded menu, Trongjittham said.

“We still have some of the same items that we have in the old location, but we also put a lot of new dishes in it so people will see a lot of new Thai dishes that they can come try,” she said.

Adult patrons will be particularly excited about one big addition at the Phelan location: A full bar.

The Lucas location doesn’t serve alcohol.

“We’re gonna make some special decorations, kind of like modern Asian,” Trongjittham said. “Try to make it the place that people in Beaumont can come in and hang out with family and friends.”

Trongjittham said owners will continue to operate both locations, which are open from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. seven days a week.

Crews now are remodeling the former buffet and building the bar.

Owners are optimistic about the early February opening date.

“I just want people in Beaumont and the area to come try it out — our new restaurant, new atmosphere and new food,” Trongjittham said.

Send In the Works tips to

BaRankin@Beaumont  or call (409) 880-0787.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

It's "OCL," not "OCD"

Unacceptable K-Cup Storage Method

I have a friend who once told me that I do not have "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder," otherwise known as OCD.  "You have," he said, "OCL.  Obsessive Compulsive Lifestyle."  Finally.  Someone understands.

I really don't want to lick the bottom of the top of the aluminum that covers my lunch time yogurt, but I can't stop myself and, yes, all of my Keurig K-Cups are sorted by caffeine strength and placed in the storage rack with the words right-side-up.  Is there any other way?  If I go to your house and you have your K-Cups arranged all higgledy-piggledy, they're not likely to be that way when I leave.

On top of my "OCL" issues, for the third time in as many months, someone has commented on the fact that I have a habit of pointing out the tiniest discrepancies in movies, television programs, newspapers...the list goes on.  They all politely called it "attention to detail" though I really felt they each meant to say, "Who cares?  Shut up, already." 

Do other people simply not notice misspelled words in newspaper headlines?  How could someone not see that the actress's hair was different in each shot of the same scene?  Was I wrong to point out that the painting instructor's version of the Eiffel Tower was not quite accurate?

OCL.  Obsessive Compulsive Lifestyle.  Obsessive Compulsive Laurie.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.


Sunday, January 09, 2011

"A La Chasse, Tu Perdre La Place"

"If you go hunting, you lose your place."

Growing up in my large extended family was a continuous game of musical chairs.  There were never enough seats for the number of people in the room.  Someone would always have to drag an uncomfortable chair from the dining room into the living room or pull up a spot on the floor.

The rule in our Cajun family was "a la chasse, tu perdre la place."  If you go hunting, you lose your place.  If you chose to leave the room for any reason, your seat was fair game.  Parents never intervened.  No seat was saved.  If you got up from your nice comfy corner of the couch to go to the bathroom or kitchen, chances were that when you got back to the living room you would find your brother, who ten seconds earlier was laying on the cold floor, comfortably snuggled into your nice warm spot.

Some things never change.  Friday night, I was at my mom's house with nine other adults and five children.  I had successfully scored a primo spot on the corner of the couch near the fireplace with a reasonably good view of the Cotton Bowl game on the television.

I had decided I would leave at halftime, but midway through the second quarter, I got thirsty.  Really thirsty.  Parched, in fact.  I surveyed the room with "a la chasse, tu perdre la place" ringing in my ears.  Every relative became suspect. 

Would my uncle straining his neck on the opposite corner of the couch grab my seat for an un-neck-binding view of the game?

Would my 12 year old cousin who was sitting on the floor take my place forcing me to play the "I'm an  old lady" card when I returned with my drink?

Would some other relative come in from another room and excitedly plop down in the best seat in the room quietly patting themselves on the back for their unlikely score?

So, instead of going to the kitchen for a drink, I sat there.  I didn't dare move.  My throat felt like sandpaper, but by god, I wasn't leaving that couch.

I did leave at halftime and when I got home, I guzzled a big glass of water like I had just crossed the Sahara.  Then, I sat wherever the hell I wanted.


Thursday, January 06, 2011

40,000 Dead Crabs Wash Ashore in England

I can live without birds, because birds are nasty and creepy and are always staring at me with their little beady eyes.

I can live without fish, because fish are nasty and creepy and are always staring at me with their little beady eyes.

However!  I cannot live without crabs.  Somebody better figure out what has god so pissed off and fix it.  Fix it right gotdammit now.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

The Smoking Gun - Time Wasters

Who doesn't like to waste time?  I know I do.  I decided to check out "The Smoking Gun" website tonight, which is always a good way to waste some time.

I haven't looked at "The Smoking Gun" in a long time and, much to my surprise, there's a whole page just for wasting time.  Check it out (click here) and see if you can match mug shots with their crime or their t-shirt or what they stole or...the list goes on.

I'm not very good at it, but I sure did waste some time.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

NPR isn't usually so weird

Today on NPR's website, there were stories about birds falling from the sky, fish dying by the thousands, a respected scientist presenting the hypothesis that there are actual wrinkles in time and a photo taken of a gunman right before the gunman shot the photographer to death.

If that's what's on NPR, I don't even want to know what's on the Sci Fi Channel.

Monday, January 03, 2011

This and That


I just saw the worst network television transition in the history of awkward network television transitions on CBS.  Right after Marshall found out his dad had a heart attack and he and Lily were crying outside the bar on "How I Met Your Mother," the two new CBS morning "reporters" came on during the commercial break to talk us through our evening of Monday night hilarity and cheerfully said, "I know you're having fun now, but...yada, yada, yada."  Bad. Very bad.


When you walk into a co-worker's office and they don't hear you and they don't turn around from their computer, what do you do?  Do you walk away?  Do you say something and possibly scare them?  How long do you stand there before you take a few steps backward, make an "ahem" noise, and pretend you just walked in?


I was listening to the news and the announcer said, "Now, we'll hear from General Mills."  There's a real General Mills. I'm not sure why that pleases me.


I got unreasonably excited when I saw Derek on Grey's Anatomy shut off his clock radio and it was the same as mine. Awesome.


I saw a gecko on the wall in my living room, couldn't catch it, then went out of town for four days. The whole time I was out of town, I just kept thinking about how fat that gecko looked and wondered if it was pregnant and if I'd come back to a townhouse full of geckos. So far, no gecko takeover.