Dream a Little Dream

I dreamed we were all living together again (me, mom, Terry, Bonnie, Stuart) in a house that I have never seen before. In the dream, it was time to go to dinner, but there was an AT&T lady in the house who wouldn't leave.

Finally, I decided to search for the phone lady. Room by room, I searched behind curtains and under bed covers, but couldn't find her. While I was searching, the phone rang.

When I answered the phone a man said, "We were wondering how the show went today."

I said, "I'm sorry. We forgot to call you. My dad passed away, so we had to cancel the show. We will no longer be needing your services."

The man evidently worked for a booking agency.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I was looking forward to seeing your dad work with Calista Flockhart. She does great caricatures."

Calista Flockhart?

WTF?

Ain't that just grand?

Ain't this just the icing on the shit-cake that was 2009?

Rumors are swirling that Simon Cowell will leave American Idol after this season. Paula is already gone. I don't like change, but it keeps being thrust upon me. Bastards.

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins are splitting up after 23 years. I hate, hate, hate hearing things like that. Hate it.

May They All...Finally...Have Peace

RIP - I thought it only came in threes

CORRECTION: Yesterday morning, one of the guys at work told me Charles Nelson Reilly died. Turns out, he was getting him confused with Harvey Korman. Ergo, Dick Martin, Sidney Pollack and Harvey Korman makes three. Thanks, Zina!

5/25/08 - Charles Nelson Reilly (Correction: 5/25/07)

5/27/08 - Dick Martin

5/28/08 - Sidney Pollack

5/29/08 - Harvey Korman

David Lynch is the man

I haven't seen or heard much about David Lynch in ages. I was just having a conversation with someone about him a couple of days ago and BAM this video pops up out of nowhere. I love stuff like that.

Some of us just age better than others

Another Guilty Pleasure (Like I Need Another One)

There is a new show on VH-1 called Celebrity Paranormal Project. This is a reality show in which celebrities and semi-celebrities are sent to areas with a reputation for having paranormal activity.

I somehow missed the first episode which included Gary Busey, Hal Sparks, Survivor winner Jenna Morasca, Toccara from America's Next Top Model, and Baywatch original Donna d'Errico. I can't wait to catch a replay of that one. Hal Sparks is hilarious and Gary Busey is a celebrity abnormal project unto himself.

The next episode features Mariel Hemingway, Joe Piscopo, gold-medalist Picabo Street, The Real World's Tonya Cooley, and Baywatch's Michael Bergin. I've always liked Joe Piscopo so I'm looking forward to that one.

The episode I did see was great. It had Rachel Hunter, comedian Godfrey, Baywatch's Traci Bingham, workout video guru Tony Little, and Survivor winner Ethan Zohn. The only two team members I was familiar with were Rachel Hunter and Tony Little. Rachel Hunter was doing her best to keep the other guys under control but having no success.

Godfrey actually left her alone at one point because he freaked out. Ethan Zohn wanted to go with Rachel on a "mission" so he might get to comfort her if she got scared. Sorry, Ethan. Rachel was one cool cucumber while Traci Bingham lost her shit on a regular basis. Tony Little did fine as did Ethan.

I thought it was unfair of the cameras to show Tony, more than once, applying makeup. In his defense, he was tied up in a straight jacket at one point and sweating bullets. He needed a little touchup. My guess is that he applied makeup once after the straight jacket incident and the show was edited to make him look like a diva. Granted, the guy is a little hyper for my taste, but a little queer eye for the exercise guy isn't necessarily a bad thing.

You Should Know...

1. My daughter-in-law Jamie went to the doctor today and she is officially 6 weeks pregnant and the due date is 2/27/07.
2. Keith Richards is alive and well and will have a guest appearance in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie as Johnny Depp's dad.
3. The premier of Rock Star tonight was, to quote Dave Navarro, "Insane!!" There are fifteen finalists but only about three clunkers in the group.

Keith Richards Falls Out of Palm Tree on Fiji

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards fell out of a palm tree earlier this week on the island of Fiji and was treated for a mild concussion.

Of all the ways I would expect Keith Richards to injure himself, falling out of a palm tree, on Fiji, no less, wouldn't even be in the top one thousand. Number one would be some sort of accidental electricity mishap involving his guitar and a close second would be falling off a stage during the fifth bar of a rousing Satisfaction encore. Numbers three through ten would probably involve drugs and/or alcohol and the top twenty ways of Keith earning a trip to the ER would be rounded out by any multitude of well earned sexual, chemical, toxic or wardrobe related incidents.

Wouldn't you love to be the doctor who has to decide if there's any brain damage? To start with, the man is 62 years old and he was up a palm tree. Most people stop climbing trees much earlier than 62, let alone a tree with no branches. I think the bar is going to have to be set pretty low as far as the benchmark for when this guy is released back into the general population as back to normal. Normal for Keith Richards certainly has to fall into a medical category all its own.

Edited to add: Two additional bits of information are floating around this morning. The first is that Ron Wood was with him which begins to explain why he was up that tree in the first place.

"I fancy a coconut."

"Well, mate, why don't you just shimmy up that lovely coconut tree there and have a go at it?"

"I bet I can."

"I bet you can't."

The second bit of information, which I've only seen on blogs and not in an official news source, is that, after Keith was released from the hospital in New Zealand, he went back to Fiji and promptly got on a jet ski, had another accident and was taken back to the hospital. I bet Ron had something to do with that one, too.

"Double or nothin' on the jet ski over there?"

"You're on, mate."

Of course, to someone just passing by, this would all sound like...

"Djoijlfm oimn oinfoienalsi tha?"

"Ymoifem oji mate."

Did I Tell You We Met Steve Buscemi in New Orleans?

Some of you might remember that on our October 2004 New Orleans trip, we saw Juliette Lewis at the Famous Door.

This year, on our last night in New Orleans, the lead singer in the band at the Famous Door announced, "Steve Buscemi is here tonight." He announced it about ten times and I didn't believe him any of the times he said it. As usual, when I see a celebrity in person, I never think it's really them. I've been to Las Vegas about eight times and I've been to New Orleans about fifteen or twenty times. I'm sure I've seen lots of celebrities and maybe even spoke to some of them and never knew it.

My sister, Terry, who isn't the least bit shy about such things went up to Steve Buscemi and started talking to him and swore that it was really him. I snuck a picture of him from my covert position at the end of the stage so I could check it out later. That's the picture below.


After a little forensic dental examination, I compared the teeth on the picture I took of Steve Buscemi to one I found on the web and I would say I'm 99.9% sure that it was actually him.



I suppose this story is a bit anti-climactic for you after my week long blog tease but it was pretty cool for me and, in the end, that's all that matters, isn't it?

Comedy Texas, Richard Pryor, Queen and Cam Pyle at Antone's

I just got in from Antone's where we saw the Cam Pyle Band. Check out Flickr on the sidebar for some pictures. First, we went to Comedy Texas to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday and the comedians were great but I don't remember their names which is inexcusable. At Comedy Texas, several of the comedians mentioned that Richard Pryor died earlier today which was a very sad moment to experience in a comedy club, but it is exactly where I would want to hear that kind of news. On the way home from Antone's, I rocked out to the best song you can rock out to on your way home from a great night out: Bohemian Rhapsody.

Another Child Actor Gone Bad

Another child actor has gone bad. Skylar Deleon, used to be a Power Ranger or something. He and his wife allegedly forced a couple to sign over their yacht and sign a power of attorney then tied them to the anchor of the yacht and threw them overboard.

This guy makes Dana Plato and Todd Bridges sound like Buffy and Jody.

Dave Navarro's Blog

Dave Navarro has a blog and I've added him to my sidebar under celebrity bloggers. I'm addicted to Rock Star INXS just like I'm addicted to American Idol when it's on. My prediction is that Marty will win and INXS will use Jordis to open their shows. Each contestant also has their own blog which can be accessed from the main page.

I hear the reality show about the dancers (So You Think You Can Dance?) is very good also.

I gotta get me some TIVO.

Damn Steroids - Part 2

I'll be 50 in September and I've always said that when things start sagging, I won't be embarrassed to have a little nip, nip here and a little tuck, tuck there and it won't be a secret. If I'm going to spend that kind of money, it won't be done on a secret trip to the Caribbean. I'm taking out ads in the newspaper and putting up a billboard on Dowlen Road.

In the past, my only fear was that I might eventually end up looking like Priscilla Presley (seen her lately? Oh, my!) or Joan Rivers. I have a new one to add to that list: Burt Reynolds.

My Imitation of Tara Reid (and a Big Ass Moose)

The moose picture and Tara Reid mention (along with the link below showing her left boob) are only to trick the men into reading this post about my mammogram today. (Who am I kidding? You guys went straight to the Tara boob link, didn't you?)

Before I left the office to go to the clinic for the dreaded smushing, one of my friends said she didn't think it was fair that she should have to pay full price for a mammogram since her boobs are so small. This reminded me of my first mammogram. The clinic called me a day or so after the test and informed me I had to go back in, which scared the hell out of me. It turned out that my boobs were so big and dense (a lovely word), that they needed to use the bigger machine. It reminded me of Roy Scheider in Jaws: We gotta get a bigger boat!

Now, for my imitation of Tara Reid on the Red Carpet. (Don't click there, yet. I'm not done.) Before the mammogram, I was put in a little room and told to strip from the waist up and put on one of your standard issue hospital gowns with the opening to the front. They then handed me a clipboard with the same patient history sheet I have to fill out EVERY DAMN TIME I go back for a mammogram. I was having a hell of a time keeping my right boob in the gown while balancing the clipboard and trying to write the SAME DAMN INFORMATION I've written on that wretched clipboard for the last ten years.

I finally gave up and sat there with one boob hanging out while I wrote. I didn't even give a crap. I had been there an hour and a half while my work piled up back at the office and, if anyone walked into that room, they were going to get a great big eyeful of boob. It would have made it all worth my time just to see the look on some old lady's face. However, I got called in for my squishing before anyone came in. Maybe next time.

Okay, now you can go look at Tara's boob.

*Pic*

Is There a Doctor in the House?

After watching television off and on all day, I have to comment on the drug company commercials. Most of them I saw today, were during two of the most popular primetime television programs which I'm sure have sky high advertising rates.

These drug companies are spending millions and millions of dollars to convince me to tell my doctor what drug to prescribe? That's insanity. How the hell would I know what drug I need to take to be strong enough for chemotherapy? And I certainly know nothing about toe fungus, erectile dysfunction or herpes.

Do they think that if my doctor writes a prescription for one medicine that I'm going to say, "Oh, no. I want the other drug. You know, the one they advertised during "Desperate Housewives." That looked good to me. I have no medical training but I do watch a lot of television so I now know all about what medications I should be taking."

Ridiculous.