Thursday, November 30, 2006
The entry page to the site has tags showing other people's goals. For those of you who don't know what tags are, they are words of various sizes. On 43 Things, the bigger the font of the word, the more people who submitted that particular goal. You can also do a word search to find a particular goal.
The way I arrived at the site was from a Google search which picked up "Pho" because someone had entered the following goal:
I can totally relate.
There were several goals related to "Pho." My favorite:
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
How Not to Eat Pho
According to Southeast Texas Food and Restaurants , they have wonderful spring rolls. So, I ordered some spring rolls and a bowl of pho (pronounced “fuh?” as though it were a question). The spring rolls were probably the best I’ve ever eaten. The pho, however, should be served with an instruction manual. I’ve eaten at Vietnamese restaurants before but this was the first time I had ordered pho which seemed like the thing to do since the restaurant has pho in its name.
Before I went to the restaurant, I Googled pho to see exactly what pho is. After skimming several articles, I wrongly assumed that pho is simply a sort of noodle soup. This is partially true. It is a broth and it has noodles in it. I ordered the beef variety and I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it either.
The waiter brought me a Jethro Bodine size bowl filled with broth, beef strips, meatballs, onions, cilantro (I think) and noodles. The pho broth was the color of old dishwater and the beef was an interesting variety of shades of gray. Along with this huge bowl, I was given a side plate with jalapenos, mint (still on a rather large branch), bean sprouts and limes. I was hesitant to add anything because I wanted to experience the pho on its own rather than a Laurie-ized/American-ized/Cajun-ized version.
Besides not knowing how to add my fixings to my pho, I had a coordination problem just trying to eat the stuff. The noodles are very long and all you’re given to work with is a deep Asian spoon and chopsticks. I am chopstick challenged so I fought with the spoon and the noodles and the beef valiantly consuming about one fourth of my pho before I got tired of fooling with it and gave it up for the night.
If I had done more research before going to the restaurant, I would have found out that you are supposed to eat the pho with two hands. With one hand, you scoop up broth and other goodies while picking up the noodles with the chopsticks and gracefully adding them to the broth and goodies on your spoon.
I also found out that I shouldn’t have been afraid that I would taint my pho by mixing in whatever ingredients I thought might be good. According to a couple of websites, pho is like a hamburger or a pizza or even a bowl of gumbo. You’re supposed to garnish it in whatever way you like including using hot sauce, soy sauce and/or hoisin sauce along with the things given to you on the side plate of goodies.
Now, I understand why Anthony Bourdain always has locals with him when he’s trying out a cuisine which is new to him or eating a still beating cobra heart or choking down a recently deceased tree frog. Some things should not be done alone.
Pho Four Seasons
3690 College Street
Tuesday – Saturday (10:30 – 9:00)
Sunday (10:30 – 5:00)
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
The bad news: Peter Jackson won’t be directing.
Fore-Casting…(if these guys directed):
Bilbo Baggins – Joe Pesci
Gandalf – John Travolta
Gollum – Christopher Walken
Bilbo Baggins – Danny DeVito
Gandalf – Sean Connery
Gollum – William Shatner
Bilbo Baggins – Christina Ricci
Gandalf – Johnny Depp
Gollum – Beetle Juice
Bilbo Baggins – Gene Hackman
Gandalf – Clint Eastwood
Gollum – Clyde the Orangutan
Bilbo Baggins – Whoopie Goldberg
Gandalf – Morgan Freeman
Gollum – Wanda Sykes
Bilbo Baggins – Billy Crystal
Gandalf – Tom Hanks
Gollum – Gilbert Gottffied
Bilbo Baggins - Jesus
Gandalf - God
Gollum – Satan
Monday, November 27, 2006
Ball of Confusion
K. C. and the Sunshine Band
Kool and the Gang
80's Hair Bands
Samuel L. Jackson
Michael Clarke Duncan
Sarah Jessica Parker
Mary Louise Parker
Mary Stuart Masterson
Jennifer Jason Leigh
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Laura San Giacomo
Melissas Joan Hart
Sarah Michelle Geller
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Room for more turkey?
- He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
- Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.
- We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."
- The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell."
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Roxanne Drinking Game
However, from a reliable source, comes this drinking game which has evidently been around a while but which I had never heard of. The reliable source tells me that this drinking game should be played at the very beginning of the evening because it's a good ice breaker and it gets everyone loosened up for the rest of the festivities.
Everyone chooses whether or not they will drink each time Sting says either Roxanne or "red light" while the song Roxanne plays. Listen to the song right now. I bet you'll be surprised how many times Sting says "red light."
Friday, November 24, 2006
Lazy Day Post - I Danced With A Mexican Because That's How I Roll
Pick the month you were born:
April--------- I dry humped
May---------- I choked on
July-----------I did the Macarena with
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1 ------- a birdbath
2 ------- a monster
3 ------- a phone
4 ------- a fork
5 ------- a Mexican
6 ------- a gangster
7 ------- my cell phone
8 ------- my dog
9 ------- my best friends' boyfriend
10 ------- my neighbor
11 ------- my science teacher
12 ------- a banana
13 ------- a fireman
14 ------- a stuffed animal
15 ------- a goat
16 ------- a pickle
17 ------- your mom
18 ------- a spoon
19 ------- myself
20 ------- a baseball bat
21 ------- a ninja
22 ------- Chuck Norris
23 ------- a noodle
24 ------- a squirrel
25 ------- a football player
26 ------- my sister
27 ------- my brother
28 ------- an I-pod
29 ------- a permanent marker
30 ------- a llama
31 ------- A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White ---------- because I'm cool like that
Black ---------- because that's how I roll
Red ---------- because the voices told me to
Blue -----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green ---------- because I hate myself
Purple ---------- because I'mcool
Yellow ---------- because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange ----------because I hate my family
Pink ----------because I am not a homosexual
Brown ----------because I was high
Grey ----------because I was drunk
Other ----------because I'm a ninja
None ---------- because I can't control myself
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
However, there are two bands I never recognize and my brother-in-law takes great joy in that fact because name-that-tune-in-three-notes-or-less is a very competitive game. The two bands that stump me every time are Blue Oyster Cult and Emerson, Lake and Palmer. I used to have the same problem with the Moody Blues but I bought their greatest hits and now I can smackdown on some Moody Blues three-notes-or-less game-age.
I’m already listening to holiday music on my XM radio at work. A little while ago, some song played which I thought was the Moody Blues. However, it was Greg Lake. It seems that any permutation of ELP kicks my three-notes-or-less ass.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Naughty Words That Make Me Smile
any word with fuck stuck in the middle of it
assy (Example: She sure was acting assy today.)
Monday, November 20, 2006
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back, One Step Closer to Heaven
One step forward:
I’ve worked in this building a total of twelve years and it took me several hours to remember there’s a bank in the lobby.
Two steps back:
I called the bank in the lobby and spent about five minutes punching buttons until I was ultimately disconnected for performing the major faux pas of pressing zero.
One step forward:
I called my bank and found out they sell Visa gift cards and the service charge is relatively inexpensive.
Two steps back:
After driving across town to my bank, things were going pretty smoothly until my teller-in-training and her trainer went to the vault to retrieve my gift card and found out everyone was locked out of the vault.
Several karma steps forward:
I made a few good karma points by stepping aside and letting other customers go ahead of me while I patiently waited for the vault to be opened thirty minutes later.
Peace, love, groovy, Woodstock.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
I Told You I Don't Have an Accent
|What American accent do you have? |
Your Result: The Midland
"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
|The Inland North|
|What American accent do you have?|
Take More Quizzes
Saturday, November 18, 2006
It Has Begun
I have things I've saved since I was in elementary school and there was no way I was going to part with my 26 year-old son's first pair of flip-flops, Michael Jackson belt or Pink Panther stuffed toy.
Instead, I just rearranged the closet. The only things I threw away were empty boxes I had saved in case I needed to return something if it turned out to be defective. It looks much better and, having gone through all the containers, I don't feel guilty anymore about the closet being so full.
I heard a line in a movie (or a television show or I read it in a book) that applies to my day today: It's not the work that slows you down. It's the memories.
Maybe, I'll have better luck with the hall closet...
Back So Soon?
I looked around the internet to see what else was out there for antispyware and antivirus protection but each program had people who loved it and people who hated it. After the nightmare I've had the last two days with the PC-Cillin program, I decided I didn't want any of them.
My solution? I have decided to put all my eggs in one basket and downloaded the Microsoft Windows Live OneCare antivirus/antispyware/firewall system. I also downloaded Internet Explorer 7 and everything seems to be running a lot smoother than it was even before I tried to upgrade my PC-Cillin.
People like to fret about whether or not Microsoft is trying to take over the world, but, this morning, I don't care. If Bill Gates was here right now, I'd kiss his ass.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Dream Post and Posting Post
Just then, Pauline Porizkova came floating gracefully into the bathroom and that’s when I realized my clock radio was playing the wonderful Cars song “Drive” and I had overslept.
Posting note for my stalkers…I mean, my most loyal readers:
I updated my virus protection program last night and between the time my old program was down and my new program was up, I somehow got spyware on my computer and it is moving at a snail’s pace, sort of like Tim Conway when he acts like that old man. Until I can fix the problem, I won’t be posting because that would eventually result in me throwing the computer out the window and there would be all that glass to clean up and everything. Read some archives if you’re desperate for a Miss New Orleans fix.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
The Hoodia Post
Yesterday morning at about 10:00 a.m., when I felt like my head was going to spin off my shoulders, I realized I drank a Starbucks double shot espresso before I took the Hoodia capsule. Let’s do the math, shall we? Green Tea Hoodia has 150 mg of “natural” caffeine. Starbucks double shot espresso has 120 mg of caffeine. That’s 270 mg of caffeine consumed in a twenty minute timeframe by one little 140 pound woman. One cup of strong coffee has about 60 mg of caffeine. Can you say wacky on the junk?
I started feeling somewhat normal around 1:00 p.m. and took another Hoodia. Other than feeling pretty peppy and having the sensation that my eyes were open really wide, I felt fairly normal. Even if I don’t lose any weight, I’m enjoying the buzz. Who knows, I might actually clean out those damn closets this weekend.
I Went to Courville's and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
Actually, I got a lot more than this fantastic t-shirt. The gumbo was delicious on this chilly night and the music was hotter than the gumbo. I was going to write a review as soon as I got home but I knew I wanted to post pictures of the t-shirt and properly link to all the amazing performers so, I fell asleep on the couch in my office watching Letterman instead.
For the real review, go to Wang Chi's House of Pancakes where Jack will tell you all about it. It was without a doubt one of the best shows I have ever seen anywhere. I feel like I got a glimpse of Waylon, Willie and Tompall Glaser in the days right before they released The Outlaws in 1976. To add extra spice to the musical gumbo, these guys were hilarious.
Big John Mills even had his little tiny dog with him that wandered around through the crowd during the show. So, while eating gumbo and watching an 8-man acoustic jam, I was also petting a dog. Man, I love Texas.
I've never wished I had my camera with me so badly. Well, that's not true. Today, one of the women in my office put a blue Walmart bag on her head with the front fastened back with paperclips, like barrettes, because the vent in her office was blowing on her head. But, tonight was a close second. I sure missed some great picture taking opportunities.
(For some reason Blogger keeps blocking out the bottom of the t-shirt. The name that isn't showing is Ryan James.)
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
You are The Wheel of Fortune
Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of intoxication with success
The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Weird Thought for the Day
Emotionally speaking, for the most part, most of us generally know how to talk ourselves back off the ledge when we’re teetering on dangerous ground. However, what if you were forced to use someone else’s brain encumbered by a lifetime of their emotions and experiences both good and bad? Trying to harness someone else’s feelings would be difficult but, on a practical level, what about the physical stuff? What if I woke up and I was suddenly a man? I wouldn’t know where to begin to deal with all of that…stuff…down there.
So, those are the two biggies: other people’s emotions and genitals of the opposite sex. But, what about the practical stuff? You might have to put yourself on a whole new toenail clipping regimen. You wouldn’t even know which foods you like or dislike until you tried to eat a rutabaga and puked on someone’s shoes. You might not know you were allergic to peanuts until you woke up standing at the Pearly Gates asking St. Peter what the hell happened.
How does this new body react to caffeine? Alcohol? From years of experience, I know exactly how much I can drink in what timeframe after eating how much food. It’s a delicate balance involving equations and logarithms and the metric system. I don’t always follow my own carefully set guidelines but I know precisely what the consequences will be if I don’t. What if I woke up in the body of a lightweight that got smashed after one glass of wine? Sure, I’d save a lot of money but I’d also miss a lot of encores and late night breakfasts.
What about shampoo? Do I need a conditioner? Do I have dandruff? Which toothpaste and deodorant works best on my particular dental work and pits? Do I need the extra soft Charmin or is my bum just as happy with the bargain stuff?
I spend a lot of time in the shower.
Monday, November 13, 2006
They Got Me Again
At about 9:45 p.m., I glanced at the clock and wondered, "Wow, how are they going to wrap this up in 15 minutes?"
At 9:50 p.m., I thought, "Man, I've seen CSI pull a twist in the last minute and a half of an episode but, I don't see that happening here."
At 9:55 p.m., reality began to sink in and my denial began to fade.
At 9:58 p.m., my heart sank as the dreaded words appeared on the screen...
Sunday, November 12, 2006
An Amazing Statistic
Three out of four persons polled (Jamie, Cory, Bonnie, Laurie) do not find sock monkeys to be one of the creepiest, scariest, freakiest toys known to man.
One out of four persons (me) hates them.
Bonnie, Jamie and I attended the annual Nutcracker Market at Reliant Stadium today. Between all the "cute" frog stuff and "adorable" sock monkeys everywhere, delightfully pointed out to me by Bonnie and Jamie, I'm sure I will not be dreaming of sugarplums dancing in my head tonight.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I Finally Found My Calling
I've finally found the perfect outlet for my OCLSC (obsessive compulsive lifestyle choice). I am the perfect garage sale organizer and sales person.
If you'd like to hire me, please call me at 1-800-SLM-YSHT or e-mail me at GarageSaleWhore@gt.rr.net.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Pain Killers Recalled
If a person has to ingest metal shavings, I suppose in combination with pain killers would be the preferred method.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Faith Hill and Carrie Underwood
Faith Hill's people said yesterday that she was just kidding and that she didn't know the camera was on her. I think they could have come up with a better story than that. She might have forgotten the camera was on her but professional entertainers always know when they're on camera.
Some of the public are saying Faith is upset that Carrie won and she didn't. I, personally, don't think Faith was necessarily upset that she didn't win. She was just shocked that Carrie won. I'm sure Carrie would be the first to say that it was a real shocker.
I prefer Faith's honest reaction (own it, girlfriend) to the usual nice smiley clapping. Of course, with all the flack Faith Hill is getting for this, I definitely understand the smiley clapping reaction choice.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
This is what the UPS guy just left on my front porch...
If it flies...
As I pulled up behind the Suburban at a stoplight, I got a better look at the sticker. It had two birds in flight on either side of the words, “If it flies, it dies.” That seemed a bit all-inclusive to me, even for Texas. Surely, they wouldn’t shoot a pelican or Superman. What about The Flying Nun or The Greatest American Hero?
Did the Greatest American Hero fly? I don’t remember. I have a sore throat. I think I have a fever. Now, my head hurts. I need to go lie down for a minute. I bet I dream about frogs. Stupid frogs.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
My Evil Side is Showing
Where's the evil in that, you ask? I especially like to watch the people who come in two hours after me who look at me and my primo table like I'm a pork chop sandwich and they haven't eaten in a week. That makes me happy. I actually had one girl ask me last night, in a somewhat snotty tone as I sat with my three saved chairs, "Are people SITTING with you?"
I wanted to say, "Yes, dear. They're invisible and they don't like you either," but I didn't.
Last night I got an unreasonable amount of joy out of watching several different couples wander around aimlessly trying to find a place to park their derrieres. I had to feel bad for the men because their martini glass carrying dates did not look pleased that they were going to be standing all night. Granted, it was Jive Train and every chair and table in the place was taken by 8:30 p.m. but I still felt superior to the rabble below me and my excellently perfect table.
See what I mean? Evil.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I told you I was naughty...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I'm Such a Naughty Girl
After I ran my errand, I thought of another thing I needed to do. Then, after I did that thing, I stopped at Kroger and bought me some sushi. On my way home, I noticed I still had time to vote.
I'm not telling you who I cast my vote for as governor of Texas but I will tell you that it made me feel like such a rebel. I feel kind of like a bad girl, even. A naughty, naughty girl. I feel energized. I feel exhilarated!
If I had a cigarette, I'd smoke it.
Another Guilty Pleasure (Like I Need Another One)
I somehow missed the first episode which included Gary Busey, Hal Sparks, Survivor winner Jenna Morasca, Toccara from America's Next Top Model, and Baywatch original Donna d'Errico. I can't wait to catch a replay of that one. Hal Sparks is hilarious and Gary Busey is a celebrity abnormal project unto himself.
The next episode features Mariel Hemingway, Joe Piscopo, gold-medalist Picabo Street, The Real World's Tonya Cooley, and Baywatch's Michael Bergin. I've always liked Joe Piscopo so I'm looking forward to that one.
The episode I did see was great. It had Rachel Hunter, comedian Godfrey, Baywatch's Traci Bingham, workout video guru Tony Little, and Survivor winner Ethan Zohn. The only two team members I was familiar with were Rachel Hunter and Tony Little. Rachel Hunter was doing her best to keep the other guys under control but having no success.
Godfrey actually left her alone at one point because he freaked out. Ethan Zohn wanted to go with Rachel on a "mission" so he might get to comfort her if she got scared. Sorry, Ethan. Rachel was one cool cucumber while Traci Bingham lost her shit on a regular basis. Tony Little did fine as did Ethan.
I thought it was unfair of the cameras to show Tony, more than once, applying makeup. In his defense, he was tied up in a straight jacket at one point and sweating bullets. He needed a little touchup. My guess is that he applied makeup once after the straight jacket incident and the show was edited to make him look like a diva. Granted, the guy is a little hyper for my taste, but a little queer eye for the exercise guy isn't necessarily a bad thing.