Friday, February 29, 2008
Same man on phone: "YES!"
Still the same man on phone: "Reservations."
Same guy: "RESERVATIONS!!!!"
Still same guy: "No."
Guy's friend: "Are you talking to one of those automated operators?"
Poor bastard on the phone (talking to his friend): "Yes."
Poor bastard (realizing he just said "yes" to the robot): "No!! NO!!!!!!! Noooooooo..............."
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
I was pretty sure Amy Davis was out but I was surprised that "Plus Model Chick" got the ax. I had a scary moment when Joanne and Amanda were standing there with Ryan, because I didn't understand which name Ryan said (Joanne...Amanda...they sound alike...right?) and I thought Amanda got voted off. Whew. Close one.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Some information about my zip code:
- 18 registered sex offenders live here
- charitable contribution deductions $4,964
- "likely" homosexual households: gay men 0.2%, lesbian 0.4%
- median number of rooms in houses or condos 5.9
Friday, February 22, 2008
Let's catch up, shall we?
Lots of people go through dry spells with their blog writing. I don't have that problem. I have more things rattling around in my little head than I have time to write. I'm more of a stream of consciousness blogger. I don't give any thought as to whether or not a post will be entertaining or funny or touching. It's whatever is in my brain at the time and it has to come out. So, for better or worse, that's what you're getting. It constantly amazes me that anyone is entertained at all by any of this drivel.
That being said, I'VE WON AN AWARD! My fabulously brilliant blogging friend Grimm has given this blog an "Excellent" rating. Grimm and his wife are two of my favorite bloggers and you really should be reading them, too.
Here's my award...
Now, I have to pass on the award to a blog that I rate as excellent. While I love all of you equally (what?!), I have to give the award to my very first blogging friend, Lorna. She is a fabulously entertaining writer though, like most of you out there, she doesn't know how good she really is. Check her out. ((crazy applause for Lorna))
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Yesterday, a co-worker asked if I had a Sam's card. "Why, of course," says I.
"In fact," I said, "I'm running low on bubble gum, so I'll stop by tonight."
I supply bubble gum to everybody at the firm. It makes you smarter. Google it.
When I got to Sam's, I thought, "I don't need a basket. I'm only getting two things."
We all know where this is going.
When I got to the very back of the store, with my arms full of crap, I realized I had no more arms to carry the one thing I had actually gone to Sam's to buy. So, I marched myself all the way back to the front of the store, with every intent of stealing someone's empty basket while they weren't looking. I finally found an unattended basket in office supplies, unloaded my aching arms and headed back to the rear of the store for my friend's item.
Moral of the story: Never say "no" to the basket lady at Sam's.
My "must have" purchases:
- 1 big ass roasted chicken
- 1 Turbo Tax software
- 1 100 ml bottle of Olay Regenerist
- 48 Nutri-Grain bars
- 360 pieces of Dubble Bubble bubble gum
- 500 5 oz bathroom cups
- 120 Glad tall kitchen garbage bags
I bought 1,031 things. No wonder I needed a basket.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
We spent Mardi Gras this year in Lafayette, Louisiana with family. We had a great time. However, just like my trip the weekend before to Baton Rouge, there were traffic problems on the way to Lafayette, so we missed the Friday night parade.
Also, like my trip in Baton Rouge, parades made for interesting navigation problems. We were re-routed when we left Henderson Sunday because of parades. My advice to you, before you make a trip anywhere in south Louisiana during Mardi Gras season, CHECK THE PARADE SCHEDULES!
Click here to see all the pictures. (Tomorrow I'll make some slideshows and explain who everybody is in the pictures.)
Below is a video of the Lafayette, Louisiana motorcycle police doing fancy stuff at the beginning of the parade.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
His mom has organized a Relay for Life team to raise money for cancer research, supplies and support for cancer patients. To donate to our team, Blayne's World, and read about Relay for Life, you can click on the title or click here.
Here are some pictures of Blayne and, yes, he is as delightful, mischievous and fun as he appears in these pics.
Click here to donate to Blayne's Relay for Life team,
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
There are always rumors that some of the contestants have secretly been groomed and planted among the contestants by Simon. Frankly, I don't care if Simon's been hiding contestants in his attic ala Anne Frank. If I'm being entertained, that's all that really matters, isn't it?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
On the news the other night, I saw an amazing story about doctors who used a powder made from pig bladders to regrow a guy's fingertip. It regrew his fingertip...fingernail and all...IN FOUR WEEKS. What the hell?
He joked and said that,while the rest of his body is 68 years old, his fingertip is 2 years old. Even though I'm a bit concerned about a possible future shortage of pork if this thing catches on, I have hopes that one day, some pig bladder wielding doctor will sand down my face, sprinkle magic pig bladder dust all over it and I'll have soft, peachy baby's behind skin staring back at me from my triple magnified lighted makeup mirror.
I guess I can sacrifice some of my BLTs and pulled pork BBQ sandwiches in the name of science. I wonder if John Wayne Bobbitt is already standing outside a clinic somewhere begging for a brand spanking new pig bladder induced penis.
Since you stopped by, here's an extra little treat for you. Pop over to this site for the recipe for a Pork Martini.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I just watched an episode of Paranormal State which I had on my DVR. In the episode, a girl named Shannon and her husband were supposedly being haunted by children because their condo used to be an old schoolhouse.
I thought, "Hey, that's the same Shannon chick who's supposed to be a ghost hunter on Ghost Hunters International." If she's a ghost hunter, why is she calling other people to get rid of her ghosts and, more importantly, how the heck is she going to hunt ghosts and demons all over Europe if she's bothered by a few ghostly children in her own house?
So, I Googled her. Click here for an interesting rant by someone who REALLY doesn't like Shannon Sylvia. (If you Google her yourself, try the phrase "Shannon Sylvia fraud.")
Note: Jason and Grant of Ghost Hunters have nothing to do with Ghost Hunters International. Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International are made by the same production company, but Jason and Grant have nothing to do with the casting or any other aspect of Ghost Hunters International. I'm posting this note because it seems to be a point of contention on some of the message boards I came across.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
The inside of the card says something along the lines of "I want to squeeze the stuffing out of you." How appropriate.
- I've been out of town a lot, so my brain is fried and I just want to lay on the couch when I get home. (I haven't even gone through my fabulous Amazon.com purchases, yet; I need to balance my checkbook; I need to do my taxes; I need to upload music to my new phone...)
- Big and exciting changes at work which require 110% of my brain during the day, so I just want to, well, lay on the couch when I get home.
- American Idol. :)
- Since I just want to lay on the couch when I get home (see above), I can't bear to face the 134 fabulous pictures and one video I took at Mardi Gras over the weekend, because the lengths I go to so that I can assure myself that all of my pictures are preserved for posterity would definitely cut into the vegetative state I'm aspiring to in the evenings.
- So, look at the fabulous baby and her fabulous father below, and I'll talk to you Saturday.
- I promise.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Friday, February 01, 2008
Which 'King of the Hill' character are you?