Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Babe 3 (to Babe 1): Do you feel better today?
Babe 1: Oh, I feel better today. I don’t think it was salmonella. I ate some mashed potatoes and a big ass pickle.
Babe 2: That sentence needs hyphenation. Did you eat a big-ass pickle or did you eat a big ass-pickle?
Babe 3: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Babe 1: I have gas today.
Babe 2: Maybe you should try removing the big ass-pickle.
Babe 3: I hate it when I have gas.
Babe 2: One time, I farted while making copies because there was plenty of noise in there and I knew nobody would hear me and, immediately after I farted, someone passed by in the hall and said, “Was that thunder?”
Babe 1: HAHAHAHAHA! It must have been a real ripper!
Babe 3: I used to work with a guy whose initials were FRT.
Babe 2: Farting is funny. (Agghhh!! I accidentally typed “farting is RUNNY.”)
Babe 3: Gross!!
Babe 1: You said fart.
Babe 1 – Fav File Clerk
Babe 2 – Miss New Orleans
Babe 3 – Jen T (soon to be E)
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Quicksilver Messenger Service Fillmore West 11/07/1968
The Rolling Thunder Revue Technical University 11/02/1975
Commander Cody Calderone Concert Hall 08/13/1977
The Babys Bottom Line 03/24/1979
Earl Thomas Conley Sundance 01/15/1983
Duran Duran Madison Square Garden 03/19/1984
Bobby Bare Lone Star Cafe 08/15/1984
Boomtown Rats San Diego 02/27/1979
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Fillmore East 06/04/1970
John Anderson Music Village USA 11/24/1984
Dio Philadelphia Spectrum 08/25/1984
Bob Marley and the Wailers Music Hall 06/08/1978
Lloyd Cole and the Commotions Atlanta 04/04/1985
Muddy Waters Blues Band Fillmore Auditorium 11/04/1966
Novo Combo Park West 10/21/1982
Traffic Winterland 01/26/1973
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Hammersmith Odeon 03/07/1980
Nils Lofgren Tower Theater 09/06/1976
The Byrds Fillmore East 06/09/1971
Billy Cobham Bottom Line 02/20/1978
Talking Heads CBGB's 05/31/1977
The Persuasions Winterland 11/24/1972
Journey Summit Arena 02/03/1982
Jefferson Airplane Fillmore Auditorium 10/16/1966
Procol Harum Hollywood Bowl 09/21/1973
I would hope that Sanjaya would go home Thursday, but he was in the top 4 (?!) last week so that might not happen. I'm worried that Brandon might go home because, as usual, Simon was right. This guy has one of the best voices in the competition and his song choice was bad, bad, bad.
I really like Nicholas Pedro (a lot) and A. J. Tabaldo (I like his enthusiasm when OTHER people are singing...a real cutie pie), but I'd rather see one of them go than Brandon.
Monday, February 26, 2007
|What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You|
You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do.
You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very nice dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.
You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.
In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Now, to explain how I'm going to be rich. We went out to eat Friday night and Cory picked up the check. It sure is cool when you have to fight your kids for the dinner check (although that's not how I'm going to get rich).
On Saturday, we went to P. F. Chang's for some absolutely outstanding chinese food which I insisted be my treat. We had two appetizers, soup, three entrees, two desserts and Cory had two beers. When I got the check, we couldn't believe it was under $100. We checked it and rechecked it until we finally determined the reason we were so confused. I gave up drinking for Lent and Jamie isn't drinking because she's pregnant.
Friday, February 23, 2007
When I got home, I had an Asian Chicken Salad with the ranch salad dressing and crouton packets for the Chicken Club Salad instead of the wonton chips and sesame salad dressing which goes with the Asian Chicken Salad. Whatever. Once again, this sort of thing happens to me all the time. If you drive away from a drive-thru without checking your bags, whatever happens after that is your own fault.
We've come a long way in this post to get to my question. We're almost there. The Asian Chicken Salad has little mandarin oranges in it. I debated pouring the bacon ranch salad dressing over my Asian Chicken Salad then thought, "What the hell." It was actually quite delicious.
Finally, here's my question: Does ANYTHING taste bad with ranch dressing on it?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
- It’s a sad state of affairs when, as war rages on in Iraq, the Anna Nicole Smith saga is the lead story every morning on the CBS Morning News.
- Anna Nicole buried her son in the Bahamas, ergo, the place was of significant importance to her, ergo part two, she should be buried there with her son. Simple. End of story.
- Call me when the DNA results are in on who’s the dad. Until then, there is no story.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Sound of Music
All of that counting and keeping track is way to complicated for me. So, for my purposes, as of midnight last night until Easter morning, I'm not indulging in my three chosen...um...indulgences.
My first test comes this weekend when my niece and I go to Houston to visit my son and daughter-in-law. Where do you suppose they're taking my margarita loving self for supper Friday evening? You guessed it, a Mexican restaurant. Want to know what the plan is for Saturday (if I don't have to take my niece to a drill team competition)? Shopping at the Galleria.
Now, that's just mean.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Ever heard of geomagnetic reversal? Yeah, me neither. I'm not sure how we got on the subject here in the office but this paragraph is a tad worrisome:
The Earth's magnetic north pole is drifting from northern Canada towards Siberia with a presently accelerating rate -- 10km per year at the beginning of the 20th century, up to 40km per year in 2003. It is also unknown if this drift will continue to accelerate.
Now, that's just weird. I guess I'll have to ask Jack about this one since he's the smartest person I know. However, I either won't understand his explanation or he's going to scare the crap out of me. Either way, I do love to hear him talk smart.
Notes from our dinner in Orange (there were 8 of us last night...the party grows):
- Ex-husbands suck but at least we aren't married to them anymore.
- How the hell did we raise our kids (at least some of us) with no child support?
- Banks, credit unions, anyone you owe money to, do not care that you're divorced and he got the house, trailer, boat, car. When he stops paying, they still want YOU to pay for it.
- We have wonderful, beautiful, perfect children.
- A couple of the girls have wonderful, beautiful, almost-perfect husbands.
- We agree that people, in general, are way too germ conscious and that's why people, especially children, are so sick these days. My friends say they use the same cutting board for their chicken, bread and vegetables and, HORRORS, use a sponge in the kitchen. (I don't do any of that stuff but I was laughing too hard at them to admit it.)
- This led to the conclusion that we have so many germs in our kitchens that it has a botox affect on us and that's why we still look so good.
- One girl is convinced that the whole peanut butter incident is germ warfare (we also hit on this topic three months ago at dinner in Nederland). What more all-American thing could someone pick to contaminate than peanut butter?
I can't wait until next month, my little chiquitas!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Since I haven't gotten sick from the salmonella, we can possibly assume one of three things:
- My jar wasn't contaminated.
- I have so much salmonella in my kitchen, I'm immuned to it.
- All the sushi I eat has my colon so full of bacteria, that the monster from Alien couldn't live in there.
I'm going with number one although number two and number three would explain why I'm the only person who never gets sick when I eat at Mr. Wok's House of Noodles. You know, the place. I'm sure your town has one. It's the one that receives its shrimp delivery at 7:00 a.m. on a hot summer day and doesn't bring it in until noon.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I have an embarrassing confession to make. While I have watched Blind Date, Honeymoon in Vegas and The Burbs at least a dozen times each, there are a lot classics I have never seen. For someone who has no qualms about ringing up a huge Amazon purchase and who has every movie channel available on digital cable, I'm a bit ashamed of myself.
Saturday night, I watched The Seven Samurai for the first time. I was so engrossed by the movie that, at times, I felt like I was actually understanding the Japanese language rather than reading the english subtitles. I expected the movie to be mostly about fighting but the characters were fascinating and I was surprised that there were even some romantic subplots. Next time I have three hours to burn, I'll watch it again.
Last year, I watched 2001: A Space Odyssey for the first time and, in the last two weeks, I have finally seen Star Wars (the first one!) and Life of Brian. So many movies, so little time.
Ray W. Hubbard
Shane /Jamie (Gougers)
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I know my friends up north will think I'm a big sissy, but the temperature in Port Arthur last night was 33 degrees with 15 to 20 mph winds. That's too damn cold for me. We didn't even stay for Pat Green and it's hard to catch beads when you're huddled up behind the beer tent trying to suck some of the heat from their portable heaters through a small crack in their tent.
Here's an update from a post I did about my Mardi Gras plans:
- Wednesday, 2/14 – Ray Wylie Hubbard at Courville’s: Wonderful food, wonderful show, wonderful friends
- Thursday, 2/15 – 9 Station Drive and Cross Canadian Ragweed on Crockett Street in Beaumont: Temperature at 11:00 p.m. when Cross Canadian Ragweed would have taken the stage was going to be about 28 degrees. Bonnie and I blew it off.
- Friday, 2/16 – Pat Green in Port Arthur: Too cold, left without beads or Pat Green.
- Saturday, 2/17 – Satisfaction (Rolling Stones Tribute band) at 3:00 p.m. in Port Arthur
Saturday, 2/17 – Robert Earl Keen in Port Arthur (or Jazz Innovators on Crockett Street…haven’t made up my mind on that one): Did I mention that Bonnie fell last night and hurt her elbow? I'll probably be skipping all of this stuff, too.
- Sunday, 2/18 – Scott McGill at 5:00 p.m. on Crockett Street: I might be able to salvage Sunday by taking my niece downtown for the day.
- Sunday, 2/18 – The Neville Brothers at the Beaumont Civic Center (I JUST GOT ME A FRONT ROW SEAT!): Canceled.
Since today might be a bust, I'm leaning toward watching portions of my DVD box sets that arrived last night: The Complete Monty Python Flying Circus 16-Ton Megaset and Seven Samurai 3-Disc Remastered Edition.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Being raised a good little Catholic girl, I still try to give up something for Lent each year. For the past three years, I've joined Aisha in a little thing we created called NUNS which stands for: No Unnecessary Needless Shopping.
To accomplish this, for the forty days of Lent (which begins Ash Wednesday and ends Easter Sunday), we will not purchase anything that isn't a necessity. No books added to my bedside table, no new DVD's, no clothes, shoes, lipstick...you get the idea. It's harder than you think. Give it a try. Your checkbook will thank you and it also just might be that little extra kick you need to get you into the Pearly Gates.
Now, here are a couple of shockers. I have also decided to give up listening to my XM radio at work and, drumroll please, alcohol. If you're a regular reader, you know how much I love my XM radio and my cocktails.
In the past, I wouldn't (couldn't) give up drinking for Lent because we always had a New Orleans trip planned for March. This year, however, I've rented a beach cabin in April rather than taking time off in March to go to New Orleans. The week at the beach falls conveniently outside of the dates of my self-imposed Lenten obligations.
To keep me motivated on my forty days of no alcohol, I've done a little math:
- 6 drinks per week (conservatively speaking) x 200 calories per drink = 1200 calories per week
- 1200 calories per week x 6 weeks = 7200 calories
- 7200 calories = 2 pounds
- So, at the end of Lent, I will be two whole pounds lighter.
- Just two pounds?!
- That sounded better in my head.
Monday, February 12, 2007
|You Are a Lime Margarita|
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Four hits might not seem like much to you, but in the last week or so, I've been getting two or three hits a day for the search terms "nutria," "nutra," "nutria rat," or "pet nutria."
Is something going on out there in the nutria world that I should know about?
|Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"|
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you
Your flirting style: friendly and sweet
What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance
Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive
One night, my brother came home, sat on the couch in the den with my mom and tried to appear normal. After about ten seconds of deep breathing and head swimming and useless denial, he bolted from the couch to the bathroom and ran smack into the wall leading into the hall which would have eventually gotten him safely, if not soberly, to the bathroom.
My mom's words of wisdom to my dumbass brother?
(For the sake of my continued amusement of the following commercial, we shall all assume that this dude has not yet partaken of any mind numbing substances, is not driving under the influence and will eat his tacos after firing one up at his stoner pad when he gets home.)
Saturday, February 10, 2007
(By the way, for those of you who will no doubt comment that my air conditioner unit is leaning, that's not mine. That's the poor bastard who lives on the other side of me. I told him it was leaning and he's never done anything about it.)
Friday, February 09, 2007
You know how, sometimes you sit on the beach on a hot summer day and look up at the white fluffy clouds and think how lovely it would be to lay on one and float around the world in your little marshmallow hammock of love?
In reality that beautiful cloud of fluffiness is just wet nasty drops of water that flick at your face and fuck up your hair.
I really don't know clouds at all.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
This, however, is the creepiest so far. Last night, I got home from work and noticed what looked like a wasp nest on the siding at the back of my house where the garage meets the house. I got my big broom, went over there and it wasn’t a wasp nest. It was a bird’s head sticking out from between the siding! A dead bird’s head. It was so sad. How long did it struggle before it died?
Now, I have to leave it there because I’m certainly not going to break its little neck and take the head (UGH!). So, now what? Are things going to eat it? Am I going to have a bird skeleton head sticking out of the back of my house?!
I don’t even like birds but, in my mind’s eye, I can still see its poor little fluffy dead head sticking out from between the siding.
These are the kinds of things you hear from people who have abandoned haunted houses. “We didn’t think anything of it, at first. But, when I found the washing machine filled with blood….”
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
-- NASA is revising its psychological screening of astronauts after one of them, Lisa Nowak, was charged with attempted murder.
Do you, on occasion, wear diapers to avoid restroom breaks on long trips?
Do you have a spouse as well as other extra-curricular love interests?
If you answered "yes" to the previous question, please complete attached Form 263(b) - Lovers and Other Strangers
If you were in space and did not like your Tang, would you mace your co-astronauts?
People who sit at their desk and randomly shout the names of co-workers on the off chance that said persons might be within shouting distance. That’s why God put an intercom button on your telephone, dipshit. Use it.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
- Wednesday, 2/14 – Ray Wylie Hubbard at Courville’s
- Thursday, 2/15 – 9 Station Drive and Cross Canadian Ragweed on Crockett Street in Beaumont
- Friday, 2/16 – Pat Green in Port Arthur
- Saturday, 2/17 – Satisfaction (Rolling Stones Tribute band) at 3:00 p.m. in Port Arthur
- Saturday, 2/17 – Robert Earl Keen in Port Arthur (or Jazz Innovators on Crockett Street…haven’t made up my mind on that one)
- Sunday, 2/18 – Scott McGill at 5:00 p.m. on Crockett Street
- Sunday, 2/18 – The Neville Brothers at the Beaumont Civic Center (I JUST GOT ME A FRONT ROW SEAT!)
Man, I sure hope I don’t hurt myself with all this musical wonderfulness. The ticket price is $10 per night and includes concerts (The Neville Brothers and Ray Wylie Hubbard tickets are separate) and great parades.
Beaumont Mardi Gras
And…drum roll, please...
“That can’t be good,” I thought.
The odd thing (you knew there would be an odd thing, didn’t you?) is that, when I pulled in, I parked all the way to the right side of my garage. I NEVER do that. I always park right in the middle…because I can. If I had parked where I usually park, the bolt would have smacked me right in the head or eye or mouth. I don’t even want to think about it. It shot out of there like a bullet.
I searched all up and down the mechanism until I finally found where I think the bolt came from. I replaced it and all seems well. The spot where it appears to have flown from, however, seems pretty harmless and I can't imagine how the garage door, at the very end of it's up/down sequence, could have possibly shot the bolt off of there with such force.
Monday, February 05, 2007
I finally watched Life of Brian. After saying I had never seen it before, I was sure I would recognize it once I started watching it. However, that wasn't the case. How I've missed seeing this over the last thirty years is just one of life's little mysteries.
Favorite part: the Roman guards trying not to laugh at Pontius Pilate's Biggus Dickus tirade.
Surprising part: finding out that Graham Chapman did not have a biggus dickus.
Best movie song ever: "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life"
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Saturday evening, I had no plans so at around 6:00 p.m., I reached into my pajama drawer and pulled out my most comfy pair of pajama pants. As I put them on, I felt something crawling on the inside of the right pants leg.
"What the fuck is that?!"
"It's a roach!"
"No, it's too big for a roach!"
"It's at my knee!"
"Is it a gecko?"
"How did a gecko get inside my pajama drawer?!"
"It's too big for a gecko..."
"...and it's soft!"
"It's a mouse!!"
"It's a ferret!"
"No, it's too small to be a ferret!"
"Definitely, a mouse!"
"Aggghh!! Agghh!!! Agghh!!"
"It's the gray sock I lost in the laundry last week."
Saturday, February 03, 2007
100 Dad (My dad: Holy cow! Did mom help?)
100 Jamie (My daughter-in-law: You go girl!)
80 Bonnie (Baby Sis: Nice!)
80 Cousin Susan (My cousin: Excellent!!!)
80 Mom (My mom: You should have asked dad to help you.)
70 Cory (My son: Not bad, dear heart.)
70 Jack (My good friend: Much better than Jack's previous quiz scores.)
60 Sophmom (Longtime blogging friend: Well done, sista girl.)
60 Jen (My future bride friend: Well done!)
50 Carly (Longtime co-worker: Once again, we obviously don't talk about ME enough.)
50 Kim (My sister-in-law: We need to spend more time together. Road trip!)
50 Zina (My cousin: Zina Bina! I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you.)
50 Laura (New blogging friend: Not bad for a new friend.)
40 Leslie (New blogging friend: You'll get the hang of me, eventually.)
40 La Sirena (Another new blogging friend: Stay with me, now. Next quiz you'll kick butt.)
30 Lorna (My LONGEST blogging friend: Hahahaha! I can sure stump you on these quizzes.)
30 Neil (In Australia, not to be confused with Neal in Antarctica: Dude!)
20 Old Roses (My biggest blogging fan: I...I...I don't know...what...to say.)