Saturday, September 30, 2006

Plan B - Viva Laurie Vegas

My two favorite (non-Texas) cities are New Orleans and Las Vegas. Plan A would be to live in the French Quarter. Plan A is waaaaay out of my price range.

This morning I watched a couple of episodes of Caesars 24/7. It's a reality show, obviously, filmed at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. It renewed my desire to wildly and impulsively chuck my current life and live a new one.

Due to upcoming petroleum industry construction projects, there is about to be a housing shortage in southeast Texas. I'm thinking I could eventually (when the housing crunch hits) lease my townhouse fully furnished for about $500 a month more than my current mortgage, insurance and condo fees.

I'm just one person. I don't eat much and, if I leave all my crap behind, I don't need much room. Ergo, why couldn't I get a job in Las Vegas, add the $500 profit from leasing my townhouse, and live a fairly comfortable bohemian lifestyle Vegas-style?

Why the hell not?

Friday, September 29, 2006

Zombie Walk

Did you know that cities all over the world have people who organize Zombie Walks? I didn't. If I had any ambition at all, I would organize one for Beaumont. One of the most entertaining movies you'll ever watch is Shaun of the Dead. If you don't have it, don't even bother renting it. Just pop over to Amazon and buy it. You won't regret it.

Click here for the Zombie Rules of Conduct for a Zombie Walk in Pittsburgh.

Click here for a Wikipedia article about Zombie Walks.

Click here to find out if there are any Zombie Walks in your area or if you want to plan a Zombie Walk.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Have you ever...

...been sitting in a parking lot and put your car in reverse and then, decide to go forward instead, but forget to switch gears.

Yeah, me neither.

I bet it's a real head rush.


I wouldn't personally know.


Happy Birthday, Bonnie!

Happy Birthday, Little Sister!!! (That's her in the middle.)

How is it possible that my baby sister, who is six years younger than me, turns 45 today when I am still only 49?

By the way, I intend to stay 49 (I might even go as low as 39), until everyone in our little group turns 50, by whatever deceitful, surgical and/or non-surgical means necessary.
Don't tell anyone.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

What Will I Be Doing December 6th?

The picture above is a page out of my planner. As you can see, not much going on the first week of December. My problem is that I drew a line toward the bottom of the December 5th area and wrote "com."
I have no idea what that means. Not a clue.
I hope I'm not in big trouble on December 6th.

Monday, September 25, 2006

How the table of beers looked through Jack's eyes...

While you're just hanging out reading blogs, go over to Jack's place and read his reprise of his award-winning Hurricane Rita posts. * (Picture art work done by the multi-talented Jack.)

* He didn't really win any awards but, to paraphrase Lesley Gore, it's my bloggy and I'll lie if I want to.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Hey, Bartender! (Jive Train and Sweet Root)

You know how when you're on vacation you take hundreds of pictures of mountains and then, when you get home, the pictures just look like pictures of mountains? Jack and I were so impressed at the tables full of beers when we left Antone's last night that I was inspired to take the picture above. For some reason, it just looks like tables full of beers.

I'm not sure if it was because of our own table full of beers but, for some reason, Jive Train's show last night seemed to be kicked up a notch. The opening band was Sweet Root, another fine band out of Baton Rouge. I thought they were great and they really set the tone for a wild night. The place was as crowded as I've ever seen it. It was so crowded that it was one of those nights that I had my emergency exit route planned out...just in case.

I love it when the musicians from both bands all jam together and musicians seem to come and go and appear out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly. The guy below from Sweet Root, however, stayed on the stage singing back up funk and dancing the whole night. He was one semi-funky white boy.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Miscellaneous Blather

Happy Birthday Sean and Alec

Happy birthday Sean and Alec. Sean, last year we were evacuated to Arkansas and were able to share your birthday with you. Sorry we couldn't make it this year but, you'll forgive me if I say I'm happy we didn't HAVE to be in Arkansas this year. Love you!

What the Fuck Was That?!

My very heavy bedroom drapes and curtain rods just fell down right across my antique dresser making a horrible noise and scaring the crap out of me. A couple of breakable goo-gahs were strewn across my bedroom floor but, oddly, nothing was broken. Hmmm....

I'm Cleaning Out My Closets, Dammit!

Dammit, I'm going to clean out my closets. I am one person in a house with four HUGE closets and every one of them is stuffed to the top. Ridiculous.

I bitch because I have no kitchen cabinet space, yet I have enough dishes and Rubbermaid to sustain a family of eight. Absurd.

Last year, my little sister lost almost everything in her townhouse because her shingles were ripped off during Hurricane Rita causing gaping holes in her roof. I'm going to clean this place out like someone who just lost a roof, dammit.

What Really Happened in the Superdome

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Glow in the Dark Jesus

After my grandfather passed away, we went to the house he and my grandmother had shared for something like 60 years. My grandmother was moving in with my uncle so we had some cleaning out to do. Grandma didn’t believe in keeping things that she found unnecessary, as explained in Dad’s Story #362: Your Grandmother Threw Away all My Comic Books - I Could Be Rich Right Now. So, there wasn’t a whole lot of stuff to be discarded or distributed.

For some reason, I’ve been designated keeper of the family history. As the designated family crap keeper, I exercise veto power on what I consider to be and not to be relevant family history items worthy of my limited drawer space.

As we cleaned out grandma and grandpa's house, people kept trying to give me things to store in the family archive cedar chest. Some I would keep. Some I handed right back to them.

At one point, my uncle handed me a small wooden cross with Jesus on it. He could tell by the look on my face that I wasn’t sure if this qualified as a family heirloom or not. He began his sales pitch.

“Come on, Laurie. Grandpa had this hanging in his room,” he said.

“I know,” I hesitantly responded.

“He had it in there for years and years. It was important to him.”

“I know.” I was weakening.

Sensing my weakness, my uncle went in for the clencher.

“Look, Laurie! He GLOWS IN THE DARK!! He’ll watch you day AND night.”

I still have my Glow in the Dark Jesus hanging on the wall in my hall and, you know what? The devil hasn’t gotten me yet. That Glow in the Dark Jesus knows his stuff.
(By the way, if you click on the title, you can buy your very own "Glow in the Dark Jesus.")

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Aarrgghh!! Another Pirate-y Thing - Courtesy of Black Jack Rackham

My pirate name is:

Calico Prudentilla Rackham

Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

Vote - What Kind of Pirate Am I? (Thanks TexasGal in Singapore!)

Click on the picture to VOTE for what kind of pirate I am...

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Isn't She Lovely?

Our little Katie bug. Where has the time gone?

More pictures on the sidebar or click here.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day and I forgot to perfect my perfectly perfect pirate post. If I do it tonight, most of you won’t see it until tomorrow. Then, you would be talking like a pirate on the day after Talk Like a Pirate Day and that would just be silly. Therefore, this is a do-it-yourself post.

Step 1: Go to .
Step 2: Type “Talk Like a Pirate Day” in the search field.
Step 3: Hit the Google Search button.
Step 4: Enjoy.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Hazards of Being the Friend of a Blogger

Last night, as you read in the previous post, Melissa had a little tumble at the Buddy Guy concert. As she was falling in slow motion, she said one of her many thoughts was, “Ooooooooh nooooooooo, the blooooooooggggggg……..”

In the car on the way home, my sister Terry told her, “Yeah, Melissa, tomorrow people in Australia will know you busted your kneecaps at a Buddy Guy concert.”

Not only Australia, Melissa. There are also people in France, England, and Antarctica laughing at your clumsy ass. Incredibly, I can now perpetuate worldwide embarrassment with the click of a mouse button. Isn’t technology amazing?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Amazing Melissa...Oh, and Buddy Guy

The Buddy Guy concert was fantastic. My sister is a big blues guitar fan. I'm more a fan of the singing and the lyrics. I especially like the blues songs which consist of down and dirty lyrics. An example from tonight's show, sung perfectly by Buddy Guy, "One leg is to the east...the other is to the west...I'm here in the middle...just tryin' to do my best."

I had, evidently, purchased tickets in the "Falling Down Drunks Section." There was a drunk, drunk, drunk guy in front of me standing on his chair and when he went to sit back down, he fell on the lady sitting next to him. A not-so-drunk guy sitting next to me almost fell off his chair. So, being the kind and caring person I am, I held on to his belt loop for the duration of the song. When his wife got back from the restroom, he told her I saved his life. She didn't seem impressed.

The best fall of the evening, however, goes to the lovely Melissa. As she was coming back from buying a beer, she miscalculated the run versus the rise ratio of the steps and fell to her knees. It all happened in slow motion. I saw her going down but there was nothing I could do. Being the professional drinker she is, she gracefully set her beer down on the step in front of her right before her knees went crashing to the ground. As men from each side of the aisle rushed to help her, I reached down and grabbed her beer and casually walked back to my seat. As she sat beside me, I said, "I saved your beer." She looked at it and said, "Didn't spill a drop." We were so proud.

The image below is a picture of a bunch of us walking down Bourbon Street on one of our many New Orleans trips.
From left to right: Melissa, Laurie, Kim (in the back), Stu, Christi, Roger's head (in the back) and Terry.

Buddy Guy Tonight

I'm headed east tonight to see Buddy Guy at Delta Downs. Yeah, I know you're jealous.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

For Suffering Employees

Someone sent me the audio for the below video and, since I couldn't figure out how to do an audio post, I created a very crass YouTube video so I could post it here.

I should be dusting or cleaning out closets or installing my new edition of Money but, because I love you so much, I have now spent an hour and a half creating a minute and a half video clip.

Off we go...

Friday, September 15, 2006

Alcohol Drinkers Earn More than Non-Drinkers

Read all about it: Alcohol drinkers earn more money.

A quote from the article: They concluded that men who drink earn 10 percent more than abstainers and women drinkers earn 14 percent more than non-drinkers.

I wonder what the 4% difference is between the men and the women drinkers. Probably has something to do with the blow jobs.

(Just kidding mom.)

Terry's 50th Birthday - Story Three: One Advantage to Being the Designated Driver

Toward the end of the evening of Terry’s 50th birthday party, Bonnie got tired and said she was leaving. We all bid her adieu much to the chagrin of Roger who had ridden to the function with her. He was concerned about fitting six people in the designated vehicle which seats five. Unbeknownst to Roger, Elliott had also left earlier in the evening in the designated vehicle to pick up his girlfriend and bring her back to Crockett Street. Roger, one of the brightest bulbs in our dimly lit group, quickly did the math and determined that we would now have seven people riding in a five seat vehicle.

This was of no concern to me because, as the designated driver, I had a seat no matter what. It was of no concern to Terry because, as she kept telling everyone, she and I and my brother once packed fourteen people into a Plymouth Fury in 1972 for a ride home from The Lighthouse on “teen night.” However, that’s a story for another day.

Every fifteen minutes or so, Roger would bring up the car seating situation and, every fifteen minutes or so, everyone would ignore him. Finally, someone other than Roger asked, “How are we going to fit seven people in the car?”

To which Roger replied, “I say we kill two of you.”

I suggested a race to the van which would have probably killed at least three of them. We finally decided on lap sitting rather than murder or death by semi-natural causes as the favored solution. Some of the men still can’t feel their legs but it’s a small price to pay for the privilege of riding with Laurie the Best Damn Designated Driver in Texas.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Terry's 50th Birthday - Story Two

As you can see by the photographic evidence, I volunteered to be the designated driver for my sister Terry’s 50th birthday party. In order to look more like a chauffer, I wore my dad’s jaunty leather cap and a pleather jacket with a bejeweled mauve camisole beneath the jacket. Black pants and high heeled black Candies completed the look.

The outfit was an unexpected hit with the men in our group and, even more unexpected, with one of the women. A few of them kept looking at me like I was the last pork chop at a drunken redneck barbeque. One of my friends said, “That outfit is hot.” I said, “No, it’s actually comfortable. The camisole keeps it from being too warm.” Then, I noticed the look on his face. We were talking about two different kinds of “hot.” I commented to Melissa that I didn’t understand the attraction to the chauffer ensemble.

I said, “I can’t figure out why everybody likes this get-up so much. While I was in the restroom, I looked in the mirror and just thought I looked like some sort of leather fetish porno dominatrix…


…never mind.”

Rock Star INXS and Rock Star Supernova

Updated 9/13/06:
Congratulations, Lukas. For a couple of weeks, I was sure it was going to be Tobey and then, last night, I thought the winner would surely be Dilana. Don't take me to Vegas. I'll lose every penny we both have.

Updated 8/31/06:
See ya, Ryan! I found all of the elimination performances a tad scary last night.

Updated 8/24/06:
Dilana seems to have some sort of bi-polar thing going on. The first few weeks, she was very insecure. Now, she's kicking ass and taking names and doesn't care who she pisses off. I think she thought she was being competitive with her negative remarks about the other competitors. However, it turns out it was bad "rock star" behavior. Who knew?
Original post 8/8/06:
We're now down to the last ten six rockers on Rock Star Supernova. I've been wrong every week regarding who will get eliminated but that doesn't stop me from giving you my predictions of the order of elimination for the final ten:

Jill (8/9/06 - Number 9 and 10)
Patrice(8/23/06 - Number 7)
Zayra(8/16/06 - Number 8)
Storm(9/6/06 - Number 5)
Dilana (Number 2)
Josh (8/9/06 - Number 9 and 10)Tobey (Number 3)
Magni (Number 4)
Ryan(8/31/06 - Number 6)
Lukas (Number 1)

I found websites for my favorites from last year's Rock Star INXS which are below. However, I couldn't find a site for Ty Taylor. Here's his Wikipedia article.

MiG Ayesa
Marty Casey
Jordis Unga
Suzie McNeil

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Another Night, Another Concert at Courville's

I just got back from another fine evening of food and Texas music at Courville's with my good friend Jack. The gumbo and fried catfish were outstanding as were the ever present cheesy mashed taters.

The main act was a guy named Brian Burns who is as fine a guitar picker as I have ever seen. Strange as it might sound, my favorite song of the evening was a lovely ballad about cockfighting.

He also does an interesting musical rendition of the letter William B. Travis wrote at the Alamo. Anyone who had to take Texas history remembers it as that damn letter we had to memorize in the seventh grade.

There was an odd coincidence for me associated with that song. The opening act, which I enjoyed very much, was a guy named Scuddy Loupe on guitar and a lady on fiddle. (Sorry, can't remember her name.) The coincidence is that I went to elementary school with Scuddy's younger brothers. The name of the school: William B. Travis Elementary.

Which Sports Car Are You?

You appreciate the finer things in life. You have a split personality - wild or conservative, depending on your mood. Wherever you go, you like to travel first class. Luxury, style, and fun - who could ask for more?

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.


I just saw a pair of scissors by the copier with a name written on them in permanent marker of a person I've never heard of who, I'm pretty sure, has never worked here.

Didn't do you much good to put your name on those scissors now did it, P. Herrera?


Read all about it...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

First Story from Terry's Birthday Bash

Before heading out to Crockett Street, we had a delicious dinner at Sartin’s West which serves fabulous seafood at unbelievably reasonable prices. I was happy to discover that they’ve added broiled dishes to their menu. I hadn’t been there in years and, in the past, everything was fried. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

As you can see in the picture below, Terry was looking lovely at dinner in her princess tiara and pointy purple hat. At one point, she went to the restroom which I could see from my place at the table. She was taking a while and, eventually, two little girls were waiting right outside the door to go in the restroom. I kept watching because I knew the girls (about 4 years old and 6 years old) would be excited to see a princess lady come out of the restroom.

When Terry came out and noticed the little girls, she gave them her most radiant princess smile and I noticed the little girls looking up at her with wonder in their eyes. It was a beautiful thing. Then I noticed Terry rolling her eyes as she walked back to the table.

I said, “That was so cute! Those little girls were so surprised to see a princess come out of the bathroom.”

Terry said, “Yeah, right. When I came out and saw them there, I looked at them and said, ‘I’m a princess.’ The little one hesitated then said, ‘No, you’re not.’ They must have gotten a whiff of what I left in there for them. They knew that didn’t come out of no princess.”

Monday, September 11, 2006

Pictures of Terry's Birthday are on Flickr

You can see the pictures by clicking on the badge on the sidebar or by going here.

Happy Birthday, Terry and Grandpa!!

Today is Terry's actual birthday which she shares with our grandpa.

Five years ago, September 11th changed from just being her birthday to a tragic day in American history.

So, in this one spot on the internet, Terry comes first.

Happy Birthday, little sister.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Stupid Snake

We take a brief commercial break from postings about Terry's birthday bash (which will continue tomorrow after I, hopefully, get those damn pictures uploaded to Flickr) to bring you this lovely image thanks to an article I read over at Fay's Break Room...

According to this story, the python ate a pregnant ewe.

Terry's 50th Birthday Party Pictures

I'm having trouble uploading the digital pictures from last night to Flickr. So, for now, here are some Polaroids. (By the way, I was the designated driver, hence the limo driver hat.)

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Beaumont Bowl

Below are some pictures I took from Katie's second football game as a Westbrook Star. I promise to get better pics of her at some point.

Westbrook beat Central and, after beating Ozen last week, earned the Beaumont Bowl trophy.

Westbrook lost two girl soccer players in a tragic bus accident this spring and Central's band paid an emotional tribute to the girls at halftime. It was a beautiful thing. Thanks, Central.

Westbrook Football team

Central High School band

Westbrook High School Stars

Westbrook Stars - Katie is in there somewhere

Westbrook Band

Friday, September 08, 2006

Sing it, Kinky

Read it: Kinky Supports Legalized Gambling in Texas

Happy 50th Birthday, Terry

Next week is my sister Terry's 50th birthday. Everyone in our little group is finally catching up to me.

Saturday night, after we have dinner at a surprise location, we will be out at Crockett Street somewhere and everywhere. If you're out and about and run into us, be sure to tell her Happy Big Birthday.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Gag me with a...Dr. Pepper can

The other day I bought a Dr. Pepper at a convenience store. After I opened it and before I took a sip, I happened to glance at the top of the can and noticed all kinds of little black specks on the can. They looked like black pepper but they could have just as easily been rat shit.

Have you ever thought about where a can or bottle has been and who has touched it before you put that thing to your lips? At the very least, since it left the semi-sanitized conditions under which it was bottled or canned, it has been (a) in a warehouse, (b) in the back of a truck, (c) on various and sundry dollies, (d) touched by delivery men, store clerks, other shoppers and last but certainly not least (e) crawled on by God knows what type of vermin and/or insect.

Yet, have you ever seen anyone wash off the top of a can or bottle before they drink from it? Oh, you will occasionally see someone give it a perfunctory wipe but that ain’t gonna smote no rat turd funk or convenience store clerk sneeze spit germs.

So, you think you’ll solve the problem by pouring the canned drink into a glass before you drink it? Look where the tab goes when you open the can…INSIDE the drink. You think a bottled drink is cleaner? Where is your bottom lip when you take a nice big frosty swig?

Ah, so many things to gross me out and so little time.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Here's a Joke

I'm headed to the couch to watch Rock Star Supernova and I anticipate falling asleep shortly after. Since I like to post at least something every day, here's a joke for you. Skip to the end if you like (that's what I usually do). I promise it will make you read the whole joke.

A farmer and his son were having a conversation when the young man told his father that he was still a virgin.

His father told him, "Son, I want you to go into town to Miss Lilly's house. Give her this duck and she'll know what to do."

The boy walked to town, found Miss Lilly's place and gave Miss Lilly the duck. When Miss Lilly found out it was the boy's first time, she decided to have sex with him herself. Everything went fine but when he was leaving he asked, "Where's my duck?"

Miss Lilly said, "Well, the duck was in payment for the sex." The young man began to cry. Miss Lilly was so confused, she said, "I'll tell you what. Come back in and have sex with me again and I'll give you the duck back."

When they finished having sex again, Miss Lilly gave him the duck back. However, as the boy was walking home, the duck jumped out of his arms, ran into the street and got hit by a truck. The boy sat down on the curb and started to cry again.

The man in the truck walked up to the young man and asked him what was wrong. He said, "You ran over my duck."

The man said, "I'm so sorry. I'll tell you what, here's a dollar for you."

When the boy got home, his dad asked him how everything went. The boy said, "Well, dad, it was a pretty weird day."

"How so?", asked his dad.

The boy said, "Well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and a buck for a fucked up duck."

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Are you sure?

Dates of Death:

JonBenet Ramsey - 12/27/96
Princess Di – 8/31/97

(I would have bet that Princess Di's accident was long before the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.)

Monday, September 04, 2006

Fun Times in Antarctica - The 300 Club

I have a blogging friend who is working in Antarctica. His name is Neal and that's him on the right in the picture below. If you've ever wondered what people do with their spare time at the South Pole, you should check out his blog. This is what they do when the temperature dips down to a "bone" chilling -100F:

When the temperature drops to -100F (-73C) we turn the sauna up to 200F (93C). We disrobe and sit inside the sauna naked until we feel like we're cooked then go outside to the pole. The experience gives us a 300F degree (160C) change in temperature in a matter of seconds.

(Hubba, hubba)

Strummin' With The Devil

This isn't as weird as it sounds. It's a bluegrass tribute to Van Halen. Okay, it is as weird as it sounds but it's still very good, actually.

I don't know anything about bluegrass music but I heard the Jump cover on my XM radio one day at work and felt compelled to buy the whole CD. I thought the best tracks were the ones that included David Lee Roth, the ones with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band and the one with the John Cowan Band.

For me, a little bluegrass goes a long way, so I haven't yet been able to listen to the whole thing in one sitting. However, spread out over several listening sessions, it is absolutely, positively entertaining. Most importantly, it's something a little bit different for your music collection.

Here's the track listing:

1. JUMP - David Lee Roth with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band
2. JAMIE’S CRYIN’ - David Lee Roth with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band
3. I’LL WAIT - Blue Highway
4. RUNNIN’ WITH THE DEVIL - The John Cowan Band (courtesy of Pinecastle Records)
5. DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY - Mountain Heart
6. AIN’T TALKIN’ ‘BOUT LOVE - Iron Horse
7. HOT FOR TEACHER - David Grisman
8. FEEL YOUR LOVE TONIGHT - Tony Trischka, Dudley Connell, Marshall Wilborn, Dave McLaughlin
9. PANAMA - Cornbread Red
10. UNCHAINED - Iron Horse
11. ICE CREAM MAN - Larry Cordle
12. AND THE CRADLE WILL ROCK... - The John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band
13. COULD THIS BE MAGIC? - The Nashville Bluegrass Band (courtesy of Sugar Hill Records)
14. ERUPTION - Dennis Caplinger
15. JAMIE’S CRYIN’[RADIO EDIT] - David Lee Roth with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band

Edited to add this video (thanks to Pokerboss for pointing it out):
(By the way, Diamond Dave sounds a lot better on the CD than he does in this video and what's up with the Beach Boys shirt?)

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Happy (Early) Birthday to Me

Cory and Jamie came to town this weekend to help me celebrate my birthday (which is officially September 5th). We went to Frankie's for some yummy Italian food.

I have no stories except to add that dad is back to gleefully teasing waiters and harassing perfect strangers...another sign that he is on the fast track to recovery. He is also doing some Jingles the Clown work.

Bonnie, Jamie, Cory

Dad and Mom

Mom, Katie, Terry, Dan

Me, Dad, Mom

Jamie, Cory, Me

Saturday, September 02, 2006

True Colors

Since no one except you reads blogs on the weekends, let alone a holiday weekend, I think it's as good a time as any to do this silly little bloggy thing I stole from Mommy Needs a Mai Tai a while back.

These are the first things that pop into my mind when I think of...

Pink - John Cougar Mellancamp and my brother-in-law Dan. When Little Pink Houses was popular, Dan used to go around saying, "Paint the mutha pink" (especially while playing Trivial Pursuit).

Gray - A really cool guy I met on Crockett Street recently who said his name was Gray.

Red - My dad. That's his name.

Black - Black fingernails. I'm not sure why.

Orange - "Orange you glad I didn't say yellow?" (an old knock-knock joke).

Brown - Puppies.

Blue - Dusk and dawn. My son used to call those times "blue time." Next time you're outside at dusk or dawn, look at the sky.

Yellow - Mardi Gras (see below).

Green - Mardi Gras (see above and below).

Purple - Mardi Gras (see above).

Friday, September 01, 2006


As I was walking in to work this morning, there was a shabby looking man on a bicycle riding down the street that I have to cross to get to my building. He was shouting “Look at that ho!!” at the girls who had already crossed the street. “Whoa, that’s a big one!! THAT'S A BIG HO RIGHT THERE!!!” We have several shouting strange people who hang around this neighborhood.

I kept my head down and tried not to make eye contact. After I crossed the street, he shouted at the girl behind me, “I never saw a ho that big! Looks like somebody jumped out of it!”


The girl, who obviously wasn’t as stupid as me, said, “Yeah, that window’s been broken a couple of days. You’re right. That sure is a big hole.”