Thursday, March 21, 2013

Rules of Me

Line Dancing
If I haven’t stood up to run to the dance floor with you when your favorite line dance starts playing, that means either (a) the song isn’t doing it for me or (b) the alcohol hasn’t kicked in.  Do not try to drag me to the dance floor with you.  That will only succeed in making me look like an asshole, which I mostly try to avoid.

Leader of the Band
Telling me to “STAND UP!!” … “CLAP YOUR HANDS!!” … “GET MOVING!!”… isn’t going to make me stand up, clap my hands or get moving.  Your constant instructions harsh my buzz and piss me off.  Leave me alone while I chillax and stop trying to be the boss of me.  Bossy performers give me flashbacks to the nuns in church:  stand up…sing…sit down…kneel.   Nuns are big buzz harshers.