Heaven Looks Like Lafayette?

Last night, I dreamed about my dad who passed away in 2009.  It wasn't one of those dreams where it feels like a visitation.  It was just a crazy dream.  However, my mouse did stop working when I began to type this post, so who knows?

I was in the kitchen of a house I had never been in before when Tim Romero (an old classmate who wasn't even a very close friend of mine, so I don't know why he was in the dream) came in and said, "Hey, Laurie.  Your dad is in the living room."

I said, "That's weird!  I didn't think I'd be able to talk to him again so soon!"

Dad came into the kitchen and he had a small black mustache.  I asked, "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I got tired of working all those double shifts," he said. "So, I'm living in Lafayette and have another family."

"Hmmmm," I said.  "Does mom know?"

"Sure, she knows.  She was in on it," dad said.

So, I guess heaven looks a lot like Lafayette?  With another family?  Good luck with that, dad, because I'm sure they won't be nearly as fun as we were.  Tell them your first oldest daughter says, "Hey."

Thanks a lot, Charlie Sheen

Last night, I dreamed Charlie Sheen was trying to get me to help him steal drugs and hide money.  For some reason, the money was in the form of a $10,000 check.  I successfully hid the check in a super secret place...my wallet..., but I forgot where I hid the drugs. Luckily, the drug guys and the police who were chasing us didn’t care about me, they were only after Charlie.  


When I got bored with Charlie’s bullshit, my dream changed to me hanging out with the boy next door who I grew up with.  We got married, but I kept forgetting to tell people I was married.  Probably not a good way to start a marriage. 


With all the running around with Charlie Sheen and the stress from my secret marriage, I woke up feeling like I had been...well...running from the cops with Charlie Sheen and hiding a secret marriage all night.  


Thanks a lot for ruining my sleepy time, Charlie Sheen, and sorry about the whole secret marriage thing, Steve.

Dream a Little Dream

I dreamed we were all living together again (me, mom, Terry, Bonnie, Stuart) in a house that I have never seen before. In the dream, it was time to go to dinner, but there was an AT&T lady in the house who wouldn't leave.

Finally, I decided to search for the phone lady. Room by room, I searched behind curtains and under bed covers, but couldn't find her. While I was searching, the phone rang.

When I answered the phone a man said, "We were wondering how the show went today."

I said, "I'm sorry. We forgot to call you. My dad passed away, so we had to cancel the show. We will no longer be needing your services."

The man evidently worked for a booking agency.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I was looking forward to seeing your dad work with Calista Flockhart. She does great caricatures."

Calista Flockhart?

WTF?

Is that normal?

I think I was dreaming in 3D last night.

Is that normal?

The Creeps

Before I went to bed early to lose weight (see previous post), I discovered that TVLand was having a Bob Newhart Show marathon (not the Vermont Bob Newhart, the Chicago psychologist Bob Newhart). So, instead of going to bed at 10:00 p.m. I went to bed at midnight. Then, the nightmares started. It was like I was in one of those Dawn of the Dead movies and I knew I was in a movie but everything they were doing to me still hurt and I was still terrified. Then, I woke up because I was screaming. Yes. Literally. Screaming. Although I was awake (sort of), I was still afraid and thought I could hear people downstairs but I was suddenly afraid of the dark and my stairs looked pitch black and I thought I could still hear things downstairs. I went back to bed and tried to go back to sleep, but Midnight Train to Georgia kept going through my head. When I finally did go back to sleep, I dreamed my parents were at my house and dad kept letting people, mostly trick-or-treaters, into my house without looking first to be sure who was at the door before opening it. The trick-or-treaters were parents with children who would come into my house and go through my things and they were mean and I would have to kick them out while my mom and I kept screaming at my dad.

I hate my allergy medicine.

Why?

I wonder if it's the time change that caused me to:

• dream I was trapped in a seedy motel room with Eddie Izzard,


• freak out because I was trapped in a seedy motel room with Eddie Izzard,


• sit up in bed,


• look at my closet door and think there should be a window there,


• look at my open bedroom door and think there should be a closed motel room door there,


• freak out again,


• finally wake the hell up; and


• finally lay back down and go back to sleep.

Dream Post and Posting Post

This morning right before I woke up for the day, I was dreaming that the son of one of my co-workers was showing me his art/science project which consisted of a messy bathroom with a toilet filled with toilet paper. I told him he couldn’t leave it like that without leaving a note because someone would clean the bathroom and flush the toilet and, then, his science project would be gone.

Just then, Pauline Porizkova came floating gracefully into the bathroom and that’s when I realized my clock radio was playing the wonderful Cars song “Drive” and I had overslept.

Posting note for my stalkers…I mean, my most loyal readers:
I updated my virus protection program last night and between the time my old program was down and my new program was up, I somehow got spyware on my computer and it is moving at a snail’s pace, sort of like Tim Conway when he acts like that old man. Until I can fix the problem, I won’t be posting because that would eventually result in me throwing the computer out the window and there would be all that glass to clean up and everything. Read some archives if you’re desperate for a Miss New Orleans fix.

Frogs!

Last night, I dreamed my house was infested with frogs. They started out small and then they got larger and larger until they were about the size of a kitten. I had to pick them up and throw them out the door to get rid of them, crying and groaning in disgust the whole time. The more I threw out, the more there were.

Frogs.

Disgusting.

Nudity at the Dollar General

I abruptly woke up last night at 3:00 a.m. from a dream that wasn't even a nightmare. It involved evacuation and a Frank Lloyd Wright style resort somewhere in east Texas which had a spring fed swimming pool and a softball field next door.

Those of us who evacuated together for Hurricane Rita were there and, for some reason, we were trying to find a guy my sister used to bowl with who was supposedly playing softball at the field beside the resort. Perhaps something frightening happened in the dream that I don't remember because when I woke up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt afraid.

Of course, you care nothing about that because you're here to read about the nudity at the Dollar General store, aren't you? That dream came from one of my co-workers. In her dream, she went in the Dollar General stark naked with her hands over her breasts, walked up to one of the workers in the store and said in exasperation, "I just need a toothbrush!"

I guess she only had one dollar.

I Like Dreamin'

A month or so ago, I did a post about a dream I had and asked for dream interpretations from the crowd. Popeye is especially good at this. The reason for this dream post is that last night I had the same strange incident happen to me in two separate dreams in the same night. I don't recall ever having that happen to me before.

In the first dream, I'm driving along a dark road with my mother in the back seat. I don't remember if anyone is beside me in the front seat. My dad is following in a van. As I'm driving along, suddenly my headlights go out. I can't see anything. It's like I'm completely blind. I can hear my dad telling me to keep driving, they'll come back on eventually but I'm terrified. My mom, tells me to wait a minute and she shines a tiny flashlight through the windshield which helps for a moment and then everything goes black again.

I finally decide to try to pull off the road and wait for the lights to come back on but I'm frightened because I'm not sure where the side of the road is or if I'll actually be off the road when I stop the car. I manage to pull off the road and after a few seconds, the lights come back on and I drive away terrified that it will happen again. I have no idea where we were driving to or how I felt about where we were going.

In the second dream, I'm by myself in the car and, once again, I don't remember where I was going, but the lights go out again throwing me into complete darkness with the car still moving. This time the darkness comes in shorter intervals and I just keep slowly driving each time the lights go out. I don't remember anyone being in the car with me and I think I woke up before the end of that dream. It wasn't quite as frightening as the first dream because I remembered having the lights go out on me before even though the dreams weren't actually connected in any way other than the headlights going off.

Any ideas?

Last night I dreamed...

I know I said I was going to lay off the dream interpretation posts until I had something interesting to post but one of the dreams I had last night was just too strange not to throw it out there and see what you people think.

I was in my childhood home in Port Arthur but I was an adult. It was Thanksgiving and both sides of my family were coming over for dinner. It was 11:30 a.m. and I hadn't showered yet and people were beginning to show up. (On a side note, my cousin from Lafayette who has multiple sclerosis was there and she was chasing after her baby daughter...who is now a teenager. That was pretty cool.) Since it was getting close to lunch time, I knew I had to take a shower and put on some makeup.

I went into the bathroom and got in the shower. In our old house in Port Arthur, there was a window in the shower. I never thought it was weird at the time but, suddenly, I find that kind of strange. As I was leaning over to turn on the shower, I could hear people outside the window. It was my dad's cousin, Barbara Jane (that's her real name, cool, huh?) and her husband Alvin. Barbara Jane was there to fill up the liquid bath wash dispenser in the shower.

I asked her, "What are you doing here?" She said, "I have this wonderful bath wash I want you to try." I told her, "Well, I'm in a bit of a hurry. We're going to eat soon and I don't want everyone to see me like this." She said, "That's okay. I'm almost done. Alvin, we need to fill up the hand wash dispenser, too."

That's it. Then I woke up. If you guys can make anything out of that weird-ass dream, I'll really be impressed.

By the way, Abby, we all know I need to drink and have sex. That's a given.

Dream a Little Dream

None of my dreams have stuck in my brain this morning. I didn't realize that although I remember dreaming every night, only a very small percentage stick with me the next morning or throughout the day and that an even smaller percentage occasionally stick with me for much longer.

Therefore, rather than each morning posting any dreams I might happen to remember, I'm only going to post the ones that nag at me. I think those are the ones that are most probably my little brain trying to work things out on its own.

I have found the analysis you've left in my comments so far to be fascinating especially those from Popeye. However, the one that keeps repeating itself in my brain and might possibly have the deepest (excuse the pun) meaning comes from Abby at Falafel Sex: ...I think it means you need to drink and have sex. Dream analysis is easy.

Tuesday Night Dream

The dreams I remember from last night were very mundane so I will present you with a dream that I have from time to time. I don't consider this one to be recurring in the same sense as the train dream because the train dream has been exactly the same (except for the end) both times I have dreamed it.

Occasionally, I dream I'm working at a job I had thirty years ago that I hated. I was a receptionist in an ophthalmologist's office. The women I worked with were great and we had a lot of fun but the doctor and some of the patients could be very mean. In the dream, the office is always horribly busy and I'm trying to do a million things at one time. At some point in the dream, I always realize that I have a job that I love now and that I'm just dreaming and the dream ends.

Okay, dream sleuths, off you go...

Dreams

I'm a vivid dreamer and I always, at least briefly, remember at least one or two of the dreams I've had during the night. Over the last week or so, I've had a recurrent dream that is really sticking with me.

In the dream, I am running through a train car with two other people in front of me. I know the people (a man and a woman) but, when I wake up, I can't remember who they were. When we get to the end of the train car, the other two people run through the door to the next car. When I open the door to follow, it's too dark and I can't see. I can only hear the sound of the train rushing along the rails and am intently aware of the speed of the train and the danger if I should fall to the rails below.

I close the door and stand there for a while and decide I must go forward. I open the doors again and it's still too dark to see. I close the doors for a second time then open them again. This time, I make the leap and I can suddenly see everything but I fall between the cars. I don't hit the rails (there aren't any). I just start falling into a brightly lit green sort of valley. Then I wake up.

Last night was the third time I've had this dream and I'm not prone to recurring dreams. If anyone has any thoughts on the meaning of this dream, I'd love to hear them.

My friend Jen started a dream journal blog and I'm thinking about doing the same thing. For now, though, I think I'll write a short post each morning about any significant or odd dreams I've had the night before and see if anyone can make sense of them as we go along. If they start to glob up this blog, I'll move them over to another one.

Madonna's Tiny Penis

One of my friends just e-mailed me that she dreamed she did it with Bo Bice last night. That reminded me that last night I dreamed I did it with Madonna. She had a really tiny penis.

Making Out with Ben Affleck

Last night, I dreamed about Ben Affleck. We were making out in the back seat of a car and we just kissed and kissed and kissed. Then I woke up. So, all we did was kiss (dammit). I'm sure he had the same dream and is wondering who that great kisser in his dream was last night. At least he should have had the same dream if that crap I bought at Marie Laveau's is worth a damn.

Look out George Clooney and Jude Law. You're next.