I was quickly walking across the lobby this morning when my shoe suddenly made a fart noise on the wood floor. I kept walking because, as usual, I was in a hurry. I was about ten steps past the receptionist desk when I realized that the receptionist (actually it was one of our young file clerks) probably thought I farted and that I kept walking without saying anything out of embarrassment.
I started to go back and tell her that I hadn't farted and that my shoe had made the noise on the wood floor when I realized that if I actually had farted, that would have been exactly what I would have told her. By the time I thought it all through, I was back at my office and the receptionist had probably already called or e-mailed at least a couple of people with the bodily function news flash.
If she did spread the word, I hope my little shoe fart was a bright spot in their otherwise uneventful day. I exist to bring joy to others in whatever disgusting way I can. It's a gift.
5 comments:
No, no, no... If you actually had farted you would have kept walking. Going back to make an excuse (if you were guilty) would have been too enbarrassing. So the staff is now pretty sure that you ripped one in the lobby.
Or no one paid any attention at all to the incident.
Larry - Nobody gave me any funny looks today and, more importantly, if word had gotten to some of my closer friends, they would have been more than happy to harass me about it. I think I'm clear.
I would have tried extra hard to get the shoe to make the same sound to prove it was the shoe. Of course, the shoe wouldn't have cooperated.
Sure...and I bet you didn't pick your nose either, you were just scratching it.
Abby - Sounds like you've been there before.
Cube - Oh, no. I was picking my nose. I just didn't fart.
DB - I heard you from here!
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