Lather...Rinse...Re-Feet

Eavesdrop on Laurie and Carly in the conference room with all their work friends on Administrative Assistants' Day...

Carly: This cake is delicious...

Laurie: It sure is.

Carly: ...on this most holiest of days.

Laurie: I like cake.

Carly: I wonder what else they'll do for us today.

Laurie: There's ice cream, too.

Carly: I think someone should wash our hair with their feet...on this most holiest of days.

Laurie: (turning to whoever was sitting beside me) I like cake.

Carly: This is good cake.

Laurie: (looking at Carly) Wait...

Carly: What?

Laurie: I think you said that wrong.

Carly: What? Most holiest of days?

Laurie: No, the other thing. You said...heee heeee...you said...hahahah...YOU SAID...HAHAHAHAHA...

Carly: (looking at me like I've lost my mind) What?

Laurie: You said, "Wash our...HAHAHAHAHAAA...hair with their feet." It should be, "Wash our FEET with their hair." HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Carly: I did! Hahaha!!! I did say that! HAHAHAHA!!

Everybody: What's so funny?

Laurie: She said...HAHAHAH...

Carly: I said...HAHAHAHAHA....

Laurie and Carly: Can you see it...washing our hair... HAHAHAH...with...hahahahaha... THEIR FEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!!!

Laurie and Carly: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Everybody: Hmmmmmm. Too much sugar.

Laurie and Carly: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My New Philosophy

My house still has a blue roof from Hurricane Ike and my back siding still hasn't been fixed which allows water to soak my carpet if we get a driving southerly rain.

My dad's lymphoma has decided to make a small return appearance. It's exactly the same type he had three years ago and the doctor says the chemo now is even less toxic than it was when he was first treated and he's confident dad will kick the cancer to the curb again this time.

My son and his family will be moving into their new house soon, I have a Spindletop Spin rest stop to organize and a class reunion to help plan. Those are all good things. Yes, they are.

For a couple of weeks, I'll be covering the desk of a very busy co-worker. Yesterday, I found out that two other people whose desks I cover also had to be out Monday for one reason or another.


My new philosophy...

A friend e-mailed me this morning and asked how things went yesterday (work-wise) and I said, "It was fine, once I decided to give up. It all became much easier after that."

I wasn't being sarcastic. At about 9:00 a.m. yesterday morning I thought, "I can only do what I can do. I'm not going to worry about any of it." After that, nothing bothered me and I just muddled through putting out fires and hoping for the best.

Then, I drank a margarita for supper.

And, you know what? This morning, the office was still here, the world didn't end and I don't have swine flu.

So, here's my advice to you: Stop trying to swim upstream, take a deep breath and go with the flow. It's quite liberating.

Note:
The brilliant Carly says I should create a t-shirt that says, "Everything's fine...since I gave up." She's so clever.

Mockingbirds - Very Superstitious

A couple of years ago, I did a couple of posts about the mockingbird that chose to roost right outside my bedroom window. Click here and here.

Well, he's baaaaaaaaaaack. I swear it's the same bird. Evidently, he had a girlfriend last year, but they must have broken up. According to the internet, only bachelor mockingbirds squawk all night.

Last Wednesday, he chirped from 11:00 p.m. until 5:00 a.m. Thursday, I got a break. He only screamed from 2:00 a.m. until 4:00 a.m. Friday night, the rain kept him away.

Last night, I got home at around 2:00 a.m. and he was once again looking for a mate. I walked the dog and stared up into the tree contemplating climbing the tree and wringing his little mockingbird neck. I'm serious. I really considered climbing the tree. I had drank a few beers.

So, in my frustration, I picked up a rock and threw it at the tree trunk. The bird flew away...and didn't come back. Are you kidding me? Last week I threw rocks toward the top of the tree and scared the bird away, but he eventually came back. I chunk one rock at the tree trunk and I'm mockingbird free? Good grief.

As for the superstitious part alluded to in the title, I Googled mockingbirds trying to find out if there are any superstitions attached to them and found:

*Mockingbirds are very magical and will sometimes answer questions.
*Mockingbirds are symbols of hope and innocence.
*If a mockingbird flies over the head of a single woman, she will be married within the year.

Looking back to my first mockingbird experience in 2007, that mockingbird didn't answer any questions, I WAS hoping he would go away, but I certainly wasn't married within the year.

However, while searching my blog for the links to my two previous mockingbird posts, I found a post with the lyrics to "Do You Know What it Means to Miss New Orleans?" There is a line which says, "...where mockingbirds used to sing."

Yep. Time for a road trip.

Twitter Without Typing

I read this fascinating story today on CNN.com. Researchers have discovered a way to "type" by simply using electrical impulses generated by thought. By concentrating on a letter, it appears on the screen.

We all know that, inevitably, this technology will not be used strictly by people who can't use a keyboard in the traditional way. Eventually, we'll all be sending e-mails with our general electrical brain impulses.

Have you ever hit "send" without proofreading your e-mail or without confirming that you didn't hit "reply all" instead of just "reply?" Yes, you have. What's going to happen when your brain is "typing" your e-mails? Picture Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar."

To: Misty
From: Laurie
Subject: Dinner Last Night

Misty!! Dinner last night was horrible delicious. I can't wait to never do it again. The chicken was raw cooked to perfection and your disgusting husband was as charming as ever. We'll invite you guys over my dead body to our home, soon!!

Drop Dead Love You!

Laurie

Feel the Rush!

A friend of mine recently tried the above pictured Extreme Energy 6-Hour Shot. He came into the room and said, "I don't feel so good." I said, "You're all red. What's wrong?" He said, "I drank one of those energy shot drink things." Then, he ran out of the room.

He returned with the box and we began to read the ingredients which include the usual vague references to energetic sounding herbs and vitamins and weirdness. My friend is one of the most calm people I've ever known. When things are going crazy around us, he's the voice of reason. He was freaking out. It was pretty damn funny.

He said his heart was pounding and his eyes felt weird. I asked him how his left arm felt and he said he couldn't feel his left arm. I think he was kidding. I think.

After about twenty minutes, he started feeling fairly normal, so I did the usual Laurie thing. I Googled. Other peoples' experiences with the Shot range from "no big deal" to emergency room visits. Google it yourself. Some of the stories are unintentionally hilarious.

The Shots come in a two pack. So, of course, we're trying to convince someone to take the other shot. However, the problem is that whenever someone says they'll take it, my friend chickens out and won't let them do it. The trick is going to be to find someone we dislike enough that we'll enjoy watching them self combust. That's harder than it sounds.

Book of Days

I forgot to mention the opening band last night at Courville's. The band was Book of Days, a local group of local guys and I really enjoyed them.

Their music is sort of Eagles-ish, which I love. Although the band was one member short due to illness, they still put on a great show. I'm looking forward to seeing them with their whole crew.

This and That

Whoopsie
For the second time in as many days, while pulling out of a parking space I've thought my car was in reverse and it wasn't. Word to the wise, if you see me starting my car in a parking lot, don't stand in front of me.

Wii
I finally played with my Wii Fit. Cory and Jamie and I laughed until we cried. I suck at 90% of the games/exercises. However, I did kick Cory and Jamie's asses "running" and hula hooping. Jamie rocked the step class scenario and Cory couldn't be touched on the ski jump. In other news, according to that Wii bastard, I gained 3 pounds between Friday night and Sunday morning. WTF?!

Fred Eaglesmith at Courville's
Tonight Jack, Steve and I saw Fred Eaglesmith at Courville's. Fred is hilarious and, yes, Jack you have seen him before. I'm a big fan of the corny joke and I'll leave you with one that Fred told tonight. (Oh, yeah, he sings, too.)

A man walks into a 24-hour dentist's office at 10:00 p.m.

The dentist asked, "What seems to be the problem?

The man said, "I think I'm a moth."

"Well, I can't help you," said the dentist. "You need a psychiatrist."

"I know," said the man.

"Then, why did you come here?" asked the dentist.

"Your light was on."

Beaumont, Texas Paranormal Conventions Revisited

Lots of commenting going on in a post I did in March regarding the paranormal conventions that will be happening in Beaumont.

Click here to catch up on the comments and discussion and click here for links to the groups' websites and for convention dates.

Just Because

John Parr - Man In Motion (St. Elmo's Fire)
Uploaded by jpdc11

Wii Fit...Finally

I finally hooked up my Wii Fit.

It tells me I am unbalanced.

It tells me I am overweight.

It tells me my fitness level is that of a 66 year old.

It does not lie.

My Musical Family

My family used to call these ta-duh-ta-duhs.

You put your mouth on one end and yell, "TA-DUH-TA-DUH!"

We couldn't afford a piano.

Lent is o-v-e-r, OVER

For Lent, I gave up margaritas, eating out for lunch and shopping.

Today I went to Amazon.com and bought:






Then, I e-mailed my friend Judy and made lunch plans for Wednesday.

Then, I went to Best Buy at lunch today and bought:





Then, I met Jack and Poodles and Nanny Ron for margaritas after work and made more plans for lunch Tuesday.

Ah, tequila. Nectar of the gods.

Captain Richard Phillips Rescued from Pirates

Is this guy going to be played by George Clooney in the movie or what?

The Weekend

More Pictures Tomorrow

(Click here to see all of them now.)

Laurie's Favorite Things

Rumor has it that marketing departments court popular bloggers by sending them their products in exchange for a review of their product published on the blog.

One of my favorite food blogger friends recently received a free shipment of live Louisiana crawfish. Read the post. I swear you can smell them through the screen.

Since I like receiving free stuff, I hereby make myself available to shamelessly and profusely praise the following products:

Charmin Toilet Paper - my bum's favorite and always squeezably soft

Almay eye products - best mascara and mascara removers on the market

Olay products - my relatively wrinkle free skin can sell a s-h-i-t load of this stuff

Nintendo DS - my relatively nimble brain needs all the help it can get

American Idol Puzzler

For everyone who didn't recognize the song Adam Lambert sang on American Idol tonight...

How to freak out the person on the other side of the speaker at a fast food restaurant

I pulled up to the speaker at Popeyes the other day and, while reading the menu trying to decide if I wanted chicken or shrimp, the speaker girl said, "Would you like to try our seafood platter."

Usually, I say something along the lines of, "No, I do not want that. I want what I want and it really annoys me when you people start offering me things before I even start talking, because I have my order in my head and you're confusing me."

Actually, I usually say, "No, I want a taco."

This time, however, I said, "Um, sure! I'll take a seafood platter."

The speaker girl had no response. I sat there for about five seconds and she finally said, "Uh, what side order would you like with that?" I could tell she thought I was just messing with her and that she expected me to say I'd like a side order of chicken beaks with my seafood platter.

I said, "Red beans and rice."

After another moment of silence, she decided to go for the gusto and asked if I wanted to "super-size" my drink. I told her I didn't want a drink and suddenly her voice seemed more normal. Ah, sweet rejection. All was now right in her world.

Ava's First Trip to the Fair

The merry-go-round was zooming. Ava was not impressed. Notice the older little girl holding on for dear life. This video was actually taken after the ride had slowed down a little.

"Yes, you may worship me."

"You talkin' to me?"

"I would like to thank the Academy."


This one's for Carly. It's an Elvis quilt.

"Warm, sweet, tasty...I like it."

"Then I want to touch a cow, then I want ice cream, then I want to touch a pig...."


"Look! Pork-ka-bobs!"



"Don't anybody move."

"Merry-go-round? Mom, are you sure this is a good idea?"


"These are my people."



For more pictures click here.

Southeast Texas Paranormal Convention Update

Note: Comments have been disabled on posts about the paranormal conventions. Someone (NOT ME) has created a site to continue those discussions if you're interested. CLICK HERE.

In March 2010, there will be a paranormal convention in Beaumont. Click here to read my previous post.

The promoter recently left two comments on the earlier post:

Comment 1:
"Wow, I have to remember that this is 2009 and the internet is a wonderful thing! I am the promoter of the convention and if you guys have any questions feel free to contact me at our website : http://www.txparanormal.com/. "

Comment 2:
"Oh, once we have the convention website up you can go to http://www.texasghostshow.com/! Some of the guests we are planning on having are Kristyn Garland and Tango (from TAPS), John Zaffis and Mrs. Hester Eby from the Myrtles Plantation."

For those of you who aren't paranormally crazy like me, Kristyn Garland, Tango, John Zaffis and Ms. Hester are impressive guests indeed.


EDITED TO ADD:

A short time after posting the above entry, I received a couple more comments on the original post:

Comment 1:
"Oh well, you should see the Soulsfest that is coming to Beaumont this year! It is a paranormal convention with guests like Barry Fitzgerald from Ghost Hunters International, Shannon Sylvia from GHI, too. They are supposed to be getting Brian Harnois from Taps and GHI too and many more! It will be 10-10-09 at the Julie Rogers Theatre and they will be having a ghost hunt too!!!"

Comment 2:
"Oh yeah, they have a link it is http://www.soulsparanormal.com/ and http://soulsfest.eventbrite.com/."


Competing paranormal groups, perhaps? It's great that Beaumont has enough interest in the paranormal that there are two active groups and both are promoting the field by holding conventions and fests and ghost hunts.

Any other paranormal groups out there planning to do something to entertain me? Seriously, I'm easily entertained.


Note: Comments have been disabled on posts about the paranormal conventions. Someone (NOT ME) has created a site to continue those discussions if you're interested. CLICK HERE.

Mid-Forties? Almost Fifty?

I have a co-worker who will be 47 next month. She told another co-worker, "Oh, my God. I'm almost 50."

The co-worker told her, "You are not almost 50, you are still in your mid-forties."

I walked up on this conversation in mid debate and was asked, "Laurie, is 47 mid-forties or almost 50,"

I said, "You can't go by me. I still tell people I'm in my mid-forties and I'm 53."

Space Rockers!!

Space Rockers

Friday Night - April 3, 2009

$5

Scout Bar on Crockett Street

'80s Music

Fun!!

Cholesterol? I don't need no stinkin' cholesterol!

I went to the doctor today for my quarterly cholesterol checkup and I'm finally motivated to change my evil ways and lower my cholesteral through diet and exercise. What were the motivating factors you ask? Were your numbers frighteningly high? Is your liver enzyme count out of whack?

No. My motivation was spending three hours in the doctors office for five minutes of blood work and ten minutes of doctor time and two hours and forty-five minutes of old magazines and small talk with a "Landman" from Winnie all while being starved from fasting and needing to pee but too afraid I'd miss my turn in the lab if I went to the bathroom.

I won't even talk about the money. Oh, the money. The horror. I should demand they deduct my lost wages for sitting around inhaling germ filled doctor office fumes from the cost of my appointment.

From now on it's running, oatmeal and vegetables. You win, you evil, clever doctor office. You win.