Show It To Me

Show us where you type your brilliance. Post it on your blog and tell us it's there in my comments. Mine is above.

(Pics of people and their laptops are totally acceptable. Put some pants on.)

Because I said so

There is a Verizon wireless store located at 5925 Phelan Boulevard, Suite H (1-800-716-1755) that nobody knows about. It's in the same shopping center as Bella Maman, Early Bird Cafe and Girlfriend's Fitness. Unlike all of the other Verizon locations, it isn't crowded...yet.

When I got my first cell phone years ago, I bought an iGo car charger. I have used the same charger for all of my phones just by buying a new tip ($8.95). Cheap! They're easy to find online. I buy my new tips at Radio Shack. The adapter itself costs around $20.

This bread is delicious! It's Mrs. Baird's Whole Grain Honey White. It's also good for you since it's whole grain. Give it a try.

"What happened to the Bourbocam?"

Someone found my blog by searching for the Bourbocam. The Bourbocam is a live camera at the corner of Bourbon Street and St. Peter and located in a window at the Cat's Meow (our favorite karaoke bar). The camera used to be located on the NOLA Live page. It has now moved to the Cat's Meow website.

Click here for the Bourbocam.

Click here for the Cat's Meow website.

Click here for the NOLA page which has more cameras.

I Rock

No. Seriously. I, literally, rock. This is my new phone. Don't hate me because it's beautiful.

New Pics of Cory, Jamie and Ava (my son, daughter-in-law and grand-fabulous-baby)

I Fought the Law and I Won

(If you're arriving here late, go back a couple of posts and read about the wedding so you'll be caught up with the rest of the class.)

We left the beauty salon at around 2:30 p.m. and had to be at the church by 4:00 p.m. Although my hotel was about fifteen minutes from the salon, I didn't see this as a problem because all I had to do was check in (I had arranged for some sort of speedy check in service...3 minutes...guaranteed), change my clothes and head to the church. However, the Mardi Gras gods had other plans.

I zoomed down Interstate 10, took the Interstate 110 exit, then took the North Street exit. It was now 3:00 p.m. Plenty of time. All I had to do was drive down North Street to Lafayette Street and...what the hell? WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING HELL?!

The street before Lafayette Street had barricades all around it and, in the distance, on Lafayette Street were shiny happy people marching in a gotdamn Mardi Gras parade. I love Mardi Gras as much as the next guy and, ordinarily, a Mardi Gras parade makes me happy and doesn't give me a million tiny heart attacks.

I took a right and there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to get to Lafayette Street. I took another right and asked a lady for directions. She told me lots of things I already knew, I thanked her and had another little tiny heart attack. I headed back toward North Street and found a policeman. He told me there was no way to get to my hotel and the best advice he could give me was to park as close to the hotel as I could and walk there.

Are you still with me? He wanted me to park my car then walk two or three blocks with my luggage and a bridesmaid dress slung over my shoulder. Yeah, rocket scientist, what was I supposed to do when I reached the parade?

"Excuse me. Excuse me!! EXCUSE ME!!!!! Coming through! Lady with a dress! Move that float, asshole! Maid of Honor!! Maid of Hooonnnooorrrrrrrr!!!"

So, I left the rocket scientist and started driving. It was now about 3:15 p.m. and, in my aggravation with the genius policeman, I had forgotten to ask him how to get back to the highway. I drove a ways until the area started to scare me in totally different ways from the ways I was already scared. I took a right, then I took another right.

I drove a couple of blocks, approaching full panic mode, and came to a stop sign. Suddenly, miraculously looming before me like the Big W in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World was the Interstate 110 on ramp. However, the street leading to the on ramp was barricaded.

This could not be happening. It was now 3:30 p.m., I wasn't dressed and the church was still fifteen minutes away. If I could get to that on ramp, I might make it to the church on time. I called Jen and told her my dilemma and that I would have to dress at the church. I also told her I was staring at my only way out of the hell I had gotten myself into and I would think of something.

I told her, "Fuck it. I'm moving the barricade. I'll call you from the church."

Beyond the barricade, the streets were clear for about two blocks and, beyond that, I could see the parade passing right beside my planned escape route. To add a couple more mini heart attacks to the mix, there were two policemen standing there blocking the street adjacent to the on ramp.

I pulled away from the stop sign, crossed the intersection, got out of my car and moved the barricade. So far, so good. I got back in my car and passed the barricade and, not wanting to cause an international incident of Mardi Gras proportions, stopped the car, got out and replaced the barricade.

Now, all I had to do was make it to that ramp. I drove slowly in case I had to pretend to be confused and lost instead of the barricade moving outlaw that I actually was. As I got closer to the policemen, I realized they were having a grand old Mardi Gras time catching beads and just, generally, yucking it up.

I hit that ramp, checked my rear view mirror and put the pedal to the metal. I got to the church at around 3:45 p.m. and had just enough time to gather my clothes, shoes, hose, black undergarments and jewelry from my bags in the trunk of my car, run to the church and get dressed in a restroom before anyone got there.

When I got to the Hilton that night after the wedding, still in my wedding clothes, I walked up to the desk clerk and told him about my problem with getting to the hotel that afternoon and asked if there was anything he could do about my room rate.

He said it wasn't up to him. I said okay and that I would just call somebody Monday to see if anyone would do anything for me. (I had booked a very expensive room with a river view.)

He asked, "You going to call Conrad?"

"How about Paris?" I asked, "I wonder if she can help me."

We laughed and the other guy behind the counter laughed. That's when I told them about moving the barricades and barely making it to the church on time. I don't know if it was because I wasn't being bitchy or if it was because he knew I was capable of moving police barricades to get my way, but when he handed me my rate card to initial, he whispered, "Let me show you something. Right here. This is your rate."

God bless him, he cut me a heck of a deal and the room was one of the most divine and luxurious rooms I've ever stayed in. Thanks, dude. Thanks, Conrad and, what the hell, thanks, Paris.

Two Little Coincidences from Friday Night

You all know I'm a sucker for coincidences. After a pretty stressful drive to Louisiana and then sitting in traffic for about an hour fifteen miles or so outside of Baton Rouge, the traffic finally began to move. As the traffic began to move, the song playing on the radio was "I Can See Clearly Now" and the lyric when I passed the wreckers..."I can see all obstacles in my way."

That's weird, but I didn't give it much thought. I just gave it a chuckle.

About ten minutes later, I took my exit and had to find Morning GLORY Avenue. As I was trying to read each street sign without getting rear ended on the wet roads, the song "GLORY Days" came on.

Weird. Right?

The Wedding and Sneak Peek at Tomorrow's Post

Note: I keep remembering stuff and adding to this post. So, if you've already read it, you might want to give it another go.

Jen and Brian's wedding was incredible! She was gorgeous, he was handsome and everything was perfection. Jen had absolutely no Bridezilla moments and she made it all look so easy. I met so many wonderful people that I couldn't begin to mention them all. Jen and Brian's families are incredible people and lots of fun. I have to give shout-outs to Becca, Todd, Ron, Lacy and Toby for also making it such a memorable weekend.

The drive up there was cold and rainy all the way and there was a wreck on the I-10 bridge going into Baton Rouge. So, all of us Texans were sweating out making it on time to the church for the rehearsal. Of course, Jen and Brian's good vibes helped The Universe to get everyone there safe and sound.

I was originally supposed to drive to Brian and Jen's house when I got to Baton Rouge and then ride with them to the rehearsal. However, because of the traffic problems, I went straight to the church. I'm a big believer in everything happening for a reason and, after following Jen home after the rehearsal, I'm pretty sure I would have gotten lost and they would still be searching the bayous for me.

The rehearsal dinner at Monjuni's was magnificent and the Chianti and bread pudding were some of the best I've ever had. Thanks Mr. and Mrs. E.

Saturday morning, Jen and I hung around watching VH-1 and BBC America. On BBC America, we saw an obese lady get a high colonic.

I looked at Jen and said, "You'll always remember that you spent your wedding morning watching a large British lady get a high colonic with one of your Matrons of Honor."

Jen said, "Yeah, great story for the grandkids."

We then headed to the salon with one backtrack to the house, which we decided was cosmic intervention so that we could avoid some horrible accident. I told Jen that someone should make a huge sign to put on the cars of people driving brides around on their wedding day which says "Bride on Board" so that people will give them lots of room and stay out of their way. We finally made it to the salon and all had our hair and makeup done. I really love Baton Rouge. Texas has a reputation for being friendly, but Baton Rouge people are a special sweet, laid back kind of friendly.

At the rehearsal, I found out I would have a few important duties: be sure Jen's train stayed picture perfect while we were on the altar, hold her flowers at certain times during the ceremony, take care of Brian's ring and sign the license in front of all of the guests during the ceremony. We also had to remember to bow when approaching the altar which is trickier than it sounds. (At one point during the ceremony, Jen forgot to bow, suddenly remembered and bowed her head. I had forgotten to bow, too, so I thought she dropped something and also looked down. Hopefully, it just looked like we were being all reverent and stuff. Sorry, God.)

You'll be happy and surprised to know that I took care of all of those duties (with Becca's help with the flowers) and never fell down or anything. The signing of the license during the wedding was something I had never seen before and was a lovely addition to the ceremony. There was a great moment when the pen ran out of ink and the deacon had to ask to borrow one from the guests.

The deacon was a delightful man with a wonderful sense of humor. Of course, I can't remember one single thing he said so that I could give you an example. During the ceremony, he invited the parents up to the altar to give the couple a blessing with him. It was an incredibly touching and memorable wedding.

We had a glamorous limo ride to the reception which was decorated beautifully. The food and cakes were amazingly wonderful, but the highlight for Becca and I was when Jen was talking to us and said, "I have to find my fian...OH!!...I have to find my HUSBAND!!" Then, we all giggled like school girls as she ran off to find Brian so they could leave for their honeymoon and their new life together.

TOMORROW'S POST: Why Laurie should have been arrested in downtown Baton Rouge, but wasn't and how Paris' family (the Hiltons that is) made it all better.

I'm off!

I'm off to Baton Rouge for the fabulous wedding of the fabulous Jen. I booked myself a room for after the reception Saturday night overlooking the Mississippi River between two casinos.

I'll post pictures soon of the wedding and of me with my huge ass check that the casino will give me for winnning my jackpot.

Bye!

I Got the Power

Sometimes my mind goes to a scary place. As I was sitting at the front of the line at a traffic light a short while ago, it occurred to me that I had a certain amount of power over every car behind me for the next several minutes.

Whatever I did or didn't do could influence not only their morning but, possibly, their whole day. If you extend that thought, any hesitation by me whether of one minute or three, could have affected someone's whole life (if they were fired for being late, got into a wreck further up the road) or the entire universe, for that matter, with one giant ripple effect.

I drove forward when the light changed, but, still...think about it.

Edited to add (this is the WEIRD part):
Shortly after I wrote this post, I found out that a girl I work with had a fender bender at the same light I wrote the above post about. It happened about ten minutes after I was at the light. However, I stand by my theory that, had I hesitated even thirty seconds after the light turned green, it might have totally changed that event, for better or worse.

Did I have a premonition of her accident?

Weird.

Drinking Game for Ghost Hunters International

When Andy says any form of the word "debunk," take a shot. You'll be drunk before the first commercial break.

Website for Ghost Hunters International on SciFi

Coincidence?

Last night I was watching television and noticed one of the displays on my home theater system doing something funky. It was the display on my DVD player. I turned it off and on and the display just kept going crazy showing all kinds of weird alien looking stuff.

I turned it off again and when I turned it back on, the display wouldn't come on at all. The only lights showing were the ones above the display indicating that I still had three DVDs in the machine. Three NETFLIX DVDs. Crap.

I had to get those DVDs out of there so I just kept pushing buttons until I got enough lights to show up to be able to open the drawer. I got the DVDs out, but now there was a bigger problem. The cabinet that holds my home theater receiver and DVD player is the cabinet that the black blob from a few days ago, which I assume was a mouse, went behind.

I had to find out if whatever I saw the other night had set up house inside that cabinet. I mustered up my courage, grabbed a flashlight and a mirror and checked everything out. It all looked normal. There wasn't any evidence that anything had ever been in the cabinet and the DVD player power cord looked fine.

I've never had a problem with the components in that system. Although I've had it for four years, I think it's a pretty weird coincidence that the DVD player goes nuts a week after a mysterious black blob runs behind its cabinet.

By the way, my traps still haven't caught anything.

Another coincidence note:
When I finished typing this and was about to hit "publish," a commercial came on for a movie and the announcer described it as "a cat and mouse thriller."

Stingaree Music Festival 2008

This year's Stingaree Music Festival at Crystal Beach, Texas will take place April 18, 19 and 20. I sure hope it's warmer this year. Click on the Stingaree Festival label below for some posts about the 2007 Stingaree Music Festival.

Stingaree Music Festival Website

Stingaree Music Festival MySpace

Hayes Carll Website

Hayes Carll MySpace

Stingaree 2007 Posts

Bill Clinton falling asleep yesterday in Harlem at Martin Luther King Day celebration

Sci-Fi's Ghost Hunters New Season

The new season of Ghost Hunters starts March 5, 2008. I've been getting lots of search hits for people looking for that information.

Tomorrow, I'll post information for the 2008 Stingaree Festival which I'm also getting lots of hits for. I told you..full service blog.

How about something sweet to go with your coffee this morning?

This is a video of 4 year old Hunter Hayes from about 10 years ago playing accordian and singing Jambalaya. Click here for information on Hunter today. (Thanks, Carly!)

More Keywords

Recent keyword searches that brought people to this blog:

Excuse me? You were looking for what?

• arkansas tooth pick penile bone


From Bryan, Texas, where I suppose this is a problem:

• can you carry leatherman in car


The word you're looking for is "recipe."

• marijuana brownie receipt


• chow mein receipt


• tater tot receipt (twice!)


Marital woes:

• why he farts at night


• my wife never loved me


Charles or Marilyn? I don't suppose it matters really. Either way, you're creepy.

• how to look like manson


Butt?

• rectal thermometer sex (Note: I get at least one search for this every day.)


• serpository (Note: That would be "suppository" to you.)


Automotive:

• turn the key car i hear click click click


This one could be interpreted in a couple of different ways.

• best female asshole of the year


Troublemaker?

• cap theater guns noise making

Slowly, I turn...

I'm home from spending the weekend with my grand-fabulous-daughter, fabulous son and fabulous daughter-in-law. My intention was to call my dad to check the mouse sticky disgusting trap thingys before I got home, but decided to suck it up and check them myself when I got home.

The traps were empty and I don't quite know how to feel about that. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of your mouse stories. I am currently spending 99 percent of my time upstairs, which is dumb because mice can, no doubt, climb stairs. To get our minds off of mice for a moment (as though that were possible), here are some videos of The Magnificent Ava.

Well, that's not going to happen

The exterminator just left. He threw some poison around in my attic (Note: I first typed "attack" instead of "attic") and set sticky traps around my house.

If you don't know what a sticky trip is, it's a non-poisonous "trap" that humanely catches the little mouse bastard and, according to the package instructions, I am to pour mineral oil on the trap, gently remove the little mouse bastard and let him loose at a location at least a mile from my house.

This is how the conversation with my little exterminator guy went:

Little exterminator guy: Okay, I've put sticky traps on each side of your refrigerator...(blah, blah, blah...telling me where he put the traps) and you should look at them every day...

Laurie: You mean, I should call my daddy to come over and look at them every day.

Little exterminator guy: They're more afraid of you than you are of them.

Laurie: I knew someone was going to say that to me eventually and I seriously doubt it.

Little exterminator guy: If you see something on the trap...

Laurie (beginning to have a freak out): I should call my daddy?

Little exterminator guy (giving up): Yes, you should call your daddy.

Musophobia

A friend asked me what the fear of mice is called. While I was Googling that, I began to experience the beginnings of a panic attack. I came across a quiz which I took and, according to the quiz, I have a severe case of musophobia.

This being a full service blog, I persevered, and just for you, I hereby present a brief sampling of the results of my search, even though it was freaking me the fuck out. (I would have put a picture of a mouse at the top of this post but...hell to the no!)

From Musophobia.com:

Musophobia is a fear of mice or rats. The origin of the word Muso is Latin (mus meaning mouse). Musophobia is one of the most common specific phobias. Musophobia is also known as Suriphobia and Murophobia (murine stems from the Muridae family that encompasses mice and rats) .

Musophobia is created by the unconscious as a protective mechanism. This mechanism was probably created as some point in the persons past when they had a traumatic experience with a mouse or rat. Everyone experiences their fears in different ways and intensity levels and some react in different ways, such as screaming, running to different rooms, and/or getting to higher ground.

The 5 Stages of Having a Mouse in Your House

1. Denial – “I did NOT just see that.”
2. Anger – “That little bastard mouse gets the run of my house while I have to work!”
3. Bargaining – “If you kill the mouse, I will give you money.”
4. Depression – “I have to move…to Antarctica.”
5. Acceptance – “I have a mouse in my house and that fucker is going down.”
   

Poor, poor, pitiful me

Let's recap, shall we:

1. My doctor called and said I'm about 2 years past due for my yearly checkup.
2. I have a tooth which is bothering me for attention, which I choose to ignore.
3. I took my car in for an oil change and told the mechanic to go ahead with the 30,000 mile recommended maintenance.
4. I still haven't replaced my glass storm door which came apart in my hands about 6 months ago.
5. I have a mouse in my house.

When I feel like the world is being unkind to me, I pay a little visit to a place I like to call Amazon.com. The above list is comprised of things which aren't tragic by any means, but they all cost me money. Ergo, I must spend a proportionally (about 10%) smaller amount on stuff, just because.

My shopping list last night:

• "The Book of Bunny Suicides" Andy Riley; Paperback; $8.00
• "The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones" Anthony Bourdain; Paperback; $10.17
• "A Charlie Brown Christmas: The Original Sound Track Recording Of The CBS Television Special" Vince Guaraldi Trio; Audio CD; $9.47
• "MTV Unplugged in New York" Nirvana; Audio CD; $8.99
• "Bullet In A Bible (CD/DVD, Jewel Case)" Green Day; DVD and Audio CD
• "Half the Perfect World" Madeleine Peyroux; Audio CD; $13.99
• "Possible Side Effects" Augusten Burroughs; Hardcover; $2.00

Just because: Lorna told me to buy Bunny Suicides, I lust for Anthony Bourdain, what's not to like about Charlie Brown and Christmas, Nirvana rocks my world, Green Day punks my world, Madeleine Peyroux is smoooooth and I've run across Augusten Burroughs mentions three times in the last four days...that's a sign.

MOUSE!

I was sitting on the couch a little while ago when I saw something appear out of nowhere on the wall by my stairs, kind of scale the wall about 3 inches off the ground and dart behind one of my CD racks next to my woofer beside my television.

I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!!!

I guess it was a mouse but it moved more smoothly than a mouse and, I swear, it was moving on the wall and not the floor. It was about three or four inches long and about two inches wide but shaped more like a flat, black pear.

TYPING THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grabbed my flashlight and a broom and banged all of my furniture on that wall, but nothing moved. I don't know what I would have done if something had come out. My plan was to kind of shoo it out the door while screaming like a banshee.

GOTTTTTTDDDDDDAMMMMMIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

Now, I have every light in the house on and, like a scared 2 year old. I won't go anywhere without my broom. What am I going to do?

I have to move.

Edited to add:
I called my exterminator this morning. (Yes, I have an exterminator. I don't have a doctor, but I do have an exterminator. Does that surprise you? It shouldn't.) They're coming to my house at noon tomorrow and it's only going to cost me an additional $45 above my regular quarterly debugging. Little do they know, I was prepared to pay four times that. Don't tell.

The Magnificent Ava

A slideshow I just stole from my son's MySpace page with pics of him, my beautiful daughter-in-law and the one and only, my Grand-Fabulous-Daughter, Ava:

Looking Back

Donna at SoCal Mom has tagged me to do a meme. I have to choose one post from 2007 from each of the following categories. Click on the category to read the post.

Link 1 must be about Family

Link 2 must be about Friends

Link 3 must be about Yourself

Link 4 must be about Something You Love

Link 5 can be Anything You Choose

Now, I'm supposed to tag 5 people, then they tag 5 people, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

I won't specifically tag anybody. However, if you do the meme, let me know in the comments and I'll pretend to send you $1. Can't beat that, now can you?

Recent Texas UFO Sightings

There sure seems to be a lot of UFO sightings lately (click here and click here). I bet it has something to do with that global incidents map.

Here's another link (click here).

And another (click here).

Yet another (click here).

Jack is my Hero

I was leaving Sam's last night and decided to stop at Jack in the Box on my way home. All the way there, I tried to decide what would be the healthiest thing to order. I had to be prepared, because the last time I drove through Jack in the Box, I panicked under the pressure of a car pulling into the drive-thru behind me and ordered the Ultimate Cheeseburger.

I pulled up to the menu board and what to my wondering eyes did appear but a fabulous picture of GRILLED CHICKEN STRIPS with teriyaki dipping sauce. I ordered the chicken strips, the Jack in the Box guy asked if I wanted the teriyaki dipping sauce (isn't that the whole point?), I said "yes" and ordered a chicken fajita pita, too, just in case.

The strips were delicious as was the pita for a grand total of about 550 calories and practically fat free. Not too shabby for fast food.

Maps Schmaps

The Schmap website has used one of my Flickr photos for its Inn on Bourbon description.

This will keep you up nights

With props to Johnny Bravo over at the Redneck Riviera:

THE GLOBAL INCIDENT SITE

Note that, at the bottom, there is also an Amber Alert map, an illegal alien activities map and "coming soon" flu/bird flu map and USA school incident map.

I'm Very Popular...With the Pizza Dudes

Whenever I order a pizza, which is usually on a Sunday afternoon, I do it online because, not only am I too lazy to cook, I'm too lazy to dial the phone. When I order online, there's a little place there to add the tip. No matter what I order, I add $5 for the tip.

I do this for several reasons:

• Typing $1 or $2 or $3 into the little tip window seems so cheap
• The difference between a tip of $1 and $5 is a drop in the bucket of my wasteful spending
• The difference between a tip of $1 and $5 is huge to a pizza delivery guy
• The pizza guy works under hazardous conditions and pay for their own gas and car repairs
• My pizza seems to get here really, really fast

From Tip the Pizza Guy.com:

Pizza delivery is considered a hazardous job by the US government. They are third most likely to be murdered on the job, right after police officer and taxi driver.

Think about that the next time you order a pizza and remember that somebody's kid or brother or sister is going to deliver that pizza and the more you tip them, the better the weed they can buy.

Another Exciting Saturday Night

This was on my first try...

86 words

Touch Typing

My good deed for today

My sister and I went to a Mexican restaurant today for lunch. While we were sitting there, a young boy, about 7 or 8 years old, walked past our table on his way to the restroom. From where we were sitting, we saw him reach the alcove where the restrooms were and stop in his tracks.

We could only see a side view of the back of his head as he stood there. We decided that the poor boy must be confused about which restroom to go into. I told my sister I would pretend like I was going to the restroom, too, and point him in the right direction.

When I got to the restroom alcove, this is what I saw:



There were no pictures on the doors of any kind. I looked at the little boy and he looked up at me with saucer-like eyes which said everything. No words were necessary. I smiled at him and pointed to the door marked Senor and he rushed in. Some days I feel more useful than others.

Here are some restroom signs from around the world (click here for more):

Cool Inventions that I Stumbled Upon

(I really, really, really want the transparent toaster!)

Day of the week clock

Transparent toaster

Movable bench

Easy to carry tray

Traveler's t-shirt for when you don't speak the language

Slippers with headlights

Laser guided scissors

Stumbled upon at www.fwdemails.com.

First Family Pictures of Will and Lindsay, Isabelle and Grace

These are the first family pictures of our friends Will and Lindsay with their fabulous babies, Isabelle and Grace!!! Aren't they gorgeous?!
(Click here for my previous post.)

After an entire lifetime of being a non-beer drinker...

...I've found another beer I like.

You know me better than that

Friend: Join this "Power Yoga" class with me!
Laurie: I'm not joining anything that has the word "power" in it.

With Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti

Another one of my favorite ways to waste keyboard time is with Stumble Upon. Click here to sign up and load the toolbar. After you've loaded the toolbar, you click the word "Stumble" and you're then taken to random websites. You also have the option to stumble by category if, for example, you just want to play games or view weird photography one lonely evening.

I found a site with some excellent quizzes that I'll be posting over the next few weeks. So, do try to resist the urge to take them all after they appear at the bottom of the site when you finish taking today's quiz.


44%

Looking for payday loan?

In Anticipation of American Idol

In anticipation of the new season of American Idol, I'm listening to XM Channel 30 - Contemporary Hits. I hate it when the wannabe contestants sing songs I'm not familiar with and I don't know what the song is supposed to really sound like.

On a not related to American Idol at all note, people can say what they want about Avril Lavigne, but I don't think anyone can deny that she's a good songwriter.

Simon?

Why?

I don't watch sports on television much. I think sporting events make nice background noises for a good nap, especially golf and baseball, but that's about it. Recently, I've been in the vicinity of televisions which had football games playing on them with no couches available for my napping pleasure.

I don't care how good or bad the game is, I come away with one thought that I can't get out of my head for days:

What is preventing every quarterback, from high school to the NFL, from contracting a bad case of hoof and mouth disease? Stop licking your fingers! It's disgusting! Your mothers must be having little tiny heart attacks every time they see you stick your fingers in your mouths. Stop it. If not for me, do it for mom.

&(*@#$@+(*!!!!!!!!!

Say what you want about humidity, but at least on a warm humid day like today, dripping with moisture, I’m not a walking, talking, cursing static conductor. I have been static free for days which is so much better than getting zapped every time I touch my car door or some sweater-wearing-feet-dragging-carpet-walking co-worker .

I hate getting zapped. I just don’t like being that awake...especially at work.

I Think I Have Louisiana Flu

• Tonight LSU football party
• Soon (!!!) Baton Rouge for Jen's wedding
• Mardi Gras in Lafayette
• Ghost Hunting 101 at University of Louisiana in Lafayette (3 Saturdays!)
• New Orleans for St. Patrick's Day

I knew I should have taken that damn fleaux shot.

I Love Familes

I love this video. My favorite part is the family picture above the fireplace. I bet these people have some kick ass holiday parties. (Thanks to "Jaded" for the video.)

Hello from the Redneck Riviera

Last week, I received an e-mail from somebody who reads this blog asking me if I'd like to become a member of the "Redneck Riviera" online community. Since that sounded like the name of someplace that I could not only belong, but could have created, I thought, "What the hell? It's free, I'm cheap and I do so love wasting time at my keyboard in as many ways as are humanly possible."

So, hello FROM the Redneck Riviera and TO the Redneck Riviera. (I can do both because I'm also a member of the "Back to the Future, Time Warped, Space Time Continuum" online community.) Don't ask. You wouldn't understand.

(CLICK HERE to join.)

I'm Confused

Confusion Part I
Why do some men (and the occasional waitress) walk up to a table with two or more women and ask, "Girls' night out?" Is it just something to say to start a conversation? Because, seriously guys, we don't take it as a compliment. It makes us feel like we look out of place or that we stand out from the crowd in some possibly unflattering way. Plus, we have no good answer to that question, because the first thing that pops into our heads is, "What the fuck do you mean by that?"

Confusion Part II
Tonight, a woman and two men walked into the bar. (That's not the beginning of a bad joke.) After a while, the woman sat at our table and whispered something to my friend who was sitting beside me. My friend leaned over to me and said, "She wants me to tell you that the guy who came in with her and her husband is single." I looked at my friend and said, "I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do with that information." Was I supposed to pop over there and introduce myself? Ask the guy to dance? Buy him a beer?

Seriously
Any insight from you men out there reading this or support in my confusion from the women would be appreciated. Feel free to tell me I'm just a snotty bitch. At least I won't be confused by that.

David Lynch is the man

I haven't seen or heard much about David Lynch in ages. I was just having a conversation with someone about him a couple of days ago and BAM this video pops up out of nowhere. I love stuff like that.

These are gooo-ooood!

Click here for more info.

Katie, this one's for you!

Why I love Hayes Carll and John Evans and you should, too...

ALSO: Stephen King picked Hayes' "Down the Road Tonight" as his second favorite song of the year in his annual Best of Music column in an issue of Entertainment Weekly magazine. Click here for the article. (Tab Benoit is on his list, too!!)

In Laurie's Brain - Things my guardian angel won't let me do

• At work, I want to start running and jump over that unattended briefcase like O. J. Simpson in the airport in that old rental car commercial.



• I want to put apples in with the onions and lemons amongst the cabbage at Kroger.



• I want to do cartwheels through the lobby at Tinseltown.



• Sometimes I have an uncontrollable urge to throw whatever I’m drinking against the nearest wall, preferably about 1/16 of an inch from somebody’s head.



• I want to stand up in church during a dramatic pause in the priest’s sermon and scream, “Okay, that’s it. I’m out of here! ”



• I want to look at my food, burst into tears and cry, “Oh, God, no! It’s…it’s…CHEESE!!!!!!!!!” and run out of Taco Bell.



• I want to stand at a busy intersection with a sign that reads, “I don’t need anything. Thanks, anyway.”



• I want to get on an elevator, push all the buttons and stand perfectly still with my back to the door, staring at the back of the elevator and not turn around or get off no matter what.



• I want to walk up to random people in the mall and say, “Eric Stratton, rush chairman, damn glad to meet you.”

2007 Darwin Awards

Did you know there is a whole site dedicated to the Darwin Awards? There are all sorts of fascinating things over there. Pop over and waste some time. (If you have time to come here and read my blog, you definitely have plenty of free time on your hands.)

Here is a link to the 2007 Awards released 1/1/08. I keep telling you guys this is a full service blog.

Our Exciting New Year's Eve

First, we had a gourmet dinner.

Then, we got a little tipsy.

So, we had to have a bath...in grandma's kitchen sink.

Then, we put on our bunny slippers.

So, we had to pose for the adoring paparazzi.

We did take time out to chat with friends.

Of course, a change of outfit is always important.