In Which I Channel My British Side

Three Hot Chicks

Below is a semi-accurate, semi-literate transcription of a couple of very un-hot e-mail conversations of three hot babes over the last couple of days consolidated for your convenience and ribbed and lubricated for your pleasure. Let’s see if you still think we’re hot after reading this.

Babe 3 (to Babe 1): Do you feel better today?

Babe 1: Oh, I feel better today. I don’t think it was salmonella. I ate some mashed potatoes and a big ass pickle.

Babe 2: That sentence needs hyphenation. Did you eat a big-ass pickle or did you eat a big ass-pickle?

Babe 3: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Babe 1: I have gas today.

Babe 2: Maybe you should try removing the big ass-pickle.

Babe 3: I hate it when I have gas.

Babe 2: One time, I farted while making copies because there was plenty of noise in there and I knew nobody would hear me and, immediately after I farted, someone passed by in the hall and said, “Was that thunder?”

Babe 1: HAHAHAHAHA! It must have been a real ripper!

Babe 3: I used to work with a guy whose initials were FRT.

Babe 2: Farting is funny. (Agghhh!! I accidentally typed “farting is RUNNY.”)

Babe 3: Gross!!

Babe 1: You said fart.

The Cast:
Babe 1 – Fav File Clerk
Babe 2 – Miss New Orleans
Babe 3 – Jen T (soon to be E)

Wolfgang's Vault

I did a post recently about a site called Wolfgang's Vault. On this site you can listen to live classic concert performances. Each week, I get an e-mail letting me know which concerts have been added to the site. I'll start posting the additions here. They only add about five per week so this will get you all caught up on what's been added since I did the original post:

Quicksilver Messenger Service Fillmore West 11/07/1968
The Rolling Thunder Revue Technical University 11/02/1975
Commander Cody Calderone Concert Hall 08/13/1977
The Babys Bottom Line 03/24/1979
Earl Thomas Conley Sundance 01/15/1983
Duran Duran Madison Square Garden 03/19/1984
Bobby Bare Lone Star Cafe 08/15/1984
Boomtown Rats San Diego 02/27/1979
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Fillmore East 06/04/1970
John Anderson Music Village USA 11/24/1984
Dio Philadelphia Spectrum 08/25/1984
Bob Marley and the Wailers Music Hall 06/08/1978
Lloyd Cole and the Commotions Atlanta 04/04/1985
Muddy Waters Blues Band Fillmore Auditorium 11/04/1966
Novo Combo Park West 10/21/1982
Traffic Winterland 01/26/1973
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Hammersmith Odeon 03/07/1980
Nils Lofgren Tower Theater 09/06/1976
The Byrds Fillmore East 06/09/1971
Billy Cobham Bottom Line 02/20/1978
Talking Heads CBGB's 05/31/1977
The Persuasions Winterland 11/24/1972
Journey Summit Arena 02/03/1982
Jefferson Airplane Fillmore Auditorium 10/16/1966
Procol Harum Hollywood Bowl 09/21/1973

American Idol

The guys were much better this week. They even threw in some well done Jason Mraz and Jamiroquai, not to mention, Marvin Gaye.

I would hope that Sanjaya would go home Thursday, but he was in the top 4 (?!) last week so that might not happen. I'm worried that Brandon might go home because, as usual, Simon was right. This guy has one of the best voices in the competition and his song choice was bad, bad, bad.

I really like Nicholas Pedro (a lot) and A. J. Tabaldo (I like his enthusiasm when OTHER people are singing...a real cutie pie), but I'd rather see one of them go than Brandon.

Now, That's a Vacation!

I'm so glad I made Grant of TAPS my MySpace friend. If they ever do this again, I'm there. I'm a nut for the paranormal and this would be my dream trip. I could get some kick ass blog posts out of a trip like this couldn't I?

A Short Quiz

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do. You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very nice dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style. You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it. In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

I Am Going to be SO Rich

I went to Houston this weekend to see my son Cory and my daughter-in-law Jamie. To briefly explain the pictures in the slideshow (below) and on Flickr (check the sidebar), Jamie is now about 4 months pregnant and Oakley had surgery on his knee. Cory's about the same as always.

Now, to explain how I'm going to be rich. We went out to eat Friday night and Cory picked up the check. It sure is cool when you have to fight your kids for the dinner check (although that's not how I'm going to get rich).

On Saturday, we went to P. F. Chang's for some absolutely outstanding chinese food which I insisted be my treat. We had two appetizers, soup, three entrees, two desserts and Cory had two beers. When I got the check, we couldn't believe it was under $100. We checked it and rechecked it until we finally determined the reason we were so confused. I gave up drinking for Lent and Jamie isn't drinking because she's pregnant.

Evidently, I automatically factor in alcohol costs even when I'm not drinking. This is going to be a very profitable Lenten season.

Here's My Question...

I stopped at Jack in the Box on my way home from work yesterday and ordered a Chicken Club Salad. When I got to the window and paid for my salad, the girl told me they were out of the Chicken Club Salad and she hadn't noticed until just then. Whatever. This happens to me all the time, so I'm used to it. So, I told her to give me the Asian Chicken Salad.

When I got home, I had an Asian Chicken Salad with the ranch salad dressing and crouton packets for the Chicken Club Salad instead of the wonton chips and sesame salad dressing which goes with the Asian Chicken Salad. Whatever. Once again, this sort of thing happens to me all the time. If you drive away from a drive-thru without checking your bags, whatever happens after that is your own fault.

We've come a long way in this post to get to my question. We're almost there. The Asian Chicken Salad has little mandarin oranges in it. I debated pouring the bacon ranch salad dressing over my Asian Chicken Salad then thought, "What the hell." It was actually quite delicious.

Finally, here's my question: Does ANYTHING taste bad with ranch dressing on it?

My Niece's Second World History Project

World History Project (columbus)

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My 3 Cents

1. It’s a sad state of affairs when, as war rages on in Iraq, the Anna Nicole Smith saga is the lead story every morning on the CBS Morning News.
2. Anna Nicole buried her son in the Bahamas, ergo, the place was of significant importance to her, ergo part two, she should be buried there with her son. Simple. End of story.
3. Call me when the DNA results are in on who’s the dad. Until then, there is no story.

Another Movie Post

One movie I try to watch but just can't seem to make it through the whole thing:
The Sound of Music

Two movies you might not have seen, but you should see:
The Philadelphia Story
It Happened One Night

Three movies most people love but do nothing for me:
Forrest Gump
Dances With Wolves
Jerry McGuire

Four movies from AFI's Top 100 I know I haven't seen (there were several "maybes" but these are the standouts):
Shane
Old Yeller
To Kill a Mockingbird (I haven't read the book either.)
Schindler's List

American Idol - The Girls

Okay, I'm all better, now. The worst girl tonight was better than the best guy last night. I feel much better about this season after watching the girls' performances tonight.

American Idol

If the girls aren't any better tonight than the guys were last night, they just need to give the title to "Beat Box Guy" and call it a season.

And God Said, "Let There Be Lent"

As of midnight last night, no drinking, no shopping and no XM satellite radio for 40 days. Actually, it's more than 40 days. From several sources, I find out that Lent doesn't actually begin until the First Sunday in Lent and ends at midnight on Holy Thursday. A lot of folks also say that Sundays "don't count."

All of that counting and keeping track is way to complicated for me. So, for my purposes, as of midnight last night until Easter morning, I'm not indulging in my three chosen...um...indulgences.

My first test comes this weekend when my niece and I go to Houston to visit my son and daughter-in-law. Where do you suppose they're taking my margarita loving self for supper Friday evening? You guessed it, a Mexican restaurant. Want to know what the plan is for Saturday (if I don't have to take my niece to a drill team competition)? Shopping at the Galleria.

Now, that's just mean.