Couch to 5K - Day 2

Today's "run" report. I definitely ran more than last time, but I will be repeating week one again next week. You're supposed to run three days every other day and then take two days off. I only ran Wednesday and Friday, but I'm still taking my two days off. Runner's prerogative.

Today, I saw a lot more squirrels. They must have heard about the nut running in their 'hood. I was also violently intimidated by two chihuahuas who eventually determined I wasn't a threat and briefly joined my jog. I was waved at by a young boy practicing soccer who was clearly impressed with my running. Clearly. A driver stopped for me to run across an intersection which was very cool.

For the most part, my music cooperated, but stopped after "American Idiot." Appropos, I suppose.

Couch to 5K - Day 1

Day 1 Couch to 5K: I only ran about half of what my zombie told me to run (of course, I picked the Zombie trainer), but I did run some, which is more than I've run in the last 20 years. 

My music got stuck in a Lady Gaga/Nirvana/Violent Femmes loop and I wanted to poke Lady Gaga in her Po-Po-Po-Poker Face, by the time I got home. Still fun though. I'm looking forward to Day 2 which will actually be two days from now.

Rules of Me

Line Dancing

If I haven’t stood up to run to the dance floor with you when your favorite line dance starts playing, that means either (a) the song isn’t doing it for me or (b) the alcohol hasn’t kicked in.  Do not try to drag me to the dance floor with you.  That will only succeed in making me look like an asshole, which I mostly try to avoid.

Leader of the Band

Telling me to “STAND UP!!” … “CLAP YOUR HANDS!!” … “GET MOVING!!”… isn’t going to make me stand up, clap my hands or get moving.  Your constant instructions harsh my buzz and piss me off.  Leave me alone while I chillax and stop trying to be the boss of me.  Bossy performers give me flashbacks to the nuns in church:  stand up…sing…sit down…kneel.   Nuns are big buzz harshers.

Carnival Triumph...Martin Savidge...Rob Kenney

CNN reporter Martin Savidge is catching a lot of flack for mentioning Hurricane Katrina to passenger Rob Kenny as a comparison to their ordeal on the Carnival Triumph.  I agree that it was an unfortunate comparison, but I understand where Mr. Savidge was coming from.

We didn’t evacuate after Hurricane Ike and several times during the Carnival Triumph event, I thought their situation was comparable to our situation.  They had no power.  They had long lines for food, as we did for gas and water.  They were disconnected from the outside world. 

Although the cruise ship passengers didn’t lose their homes as some did in Katrina, when I compare their situation to the aftermath of other unfortunate events (snow storms, tornadoes, hurricanes), they also had the added elements of possibly dying at sea while surrounded by 4000 strangers and occasionally stepping into urine and poo.  Other than dog accidents, our hurricane event was mostly urine and poo free.  We were also in the relative comfort of our own homes rather than on the open sea sleeping in a hallway...with 4000 strangers.

Good for Rob Kenny keeping things in perspective, but Martin Savidge shouldn’t beat himself up too much.  The analogy was apt.  He just chose the wrong natural disaster for his comparison.

Bah Humbug - Hurricane Sandy Benefit

First, lets be happy instead of envious for the attention and the assistance that the northeast is getting.  Good for them.

Second, for everyone upset that their own personal flood, hurricane, farmer, earthquake, fire did not get the same attention that Hurricane Sandy is getting, you need to keep in mind that the government gives the same level of attention, such as it is, to every disaster.  The media attention is directly proportional to the caliber of the celebrity who grew up in the neighborhood of the flood, hurricane, farmer, earthquake, typhoon.

If Bob Geldof, John Cougar Mellencamp or Bruce Springsteen grew up next door to you, chances are pretty good that your personal disaster would have also gotten a kick ass benefit.

So, the next time you have a flood, hurricane, earthquake, fire, mudslide, don't contact your local politician.  Contact your local celebrity.

Flickr Account

lauriea776's photostream on Flickr.

Elevator Ghost

Not everyone knows this, but the elevator lobby in my building has sort of a haunted history.  As a person walks up to the elevators, they see someone get on the elevator and the doors close.  The person pushes the button to call another elevator and the doors open on the elevator that just closed and nobody is in there.

This hasn't happened to me in a long time, but it happened to me at lunch today.  When the doors opened and nobody was in the elevator that I just saw someone walk into, I hesitated and then walked in.  As the doors closed I pushed the button for my floor and heard a loud woman's voice in the elevator behind me! 

I freaked out and turned around to see a woman talking on her cell phone as she walked into the elevator from the freight door side.  (One of our elevators has doors in the front and the back.)  I looked at her and shouted, "You scared me!"  She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Sorry." and continued her telephone conversation. 

Sorry?  You scared the piss out of me and all you can say is "sorry?"  How about putting that cell phone down and helping me clean up all this elevator pee?

Roy and Dale Doing it Gangsta

I was flipping channels and saw "The Roy Rogers Show" playing on the RFD channel. I put it on for a few minutes and there were Roy and Dale walking around their house cooking and, generally, doing normal household stuff with six-shooters on their hips. So gangster.

Message to New York and New Jersey from Southeast Texas

Regarding Hurricane Sandy:

 All of us who have experienced hurricanes and the threat of hurricanes our whole lives understand what the folks in the northeast are going through.

As expected, it appears that the problems associated with living in the path of these storms are being taken more seriously now that a larger population is having to endure the hardships of no power, no water, no services.

I don't care that it took a hit on New York City to gain recognition and, hopefully, promote helpful solutions for people dealing with these storms. Whatever it takes for companies and people to actually work on making life easier after a hurricane instead of just telling people they shouldn't build or live on the coast is fine by me.

Everybody Has a Camera...Dammit

The above two pictures were taken on the same night of the same trip to New Orleans in March of this year (2012).  I recently used the picture on the left as my Facebook profile picture.  Everyone was being so sweet about the loveliness of it that I started to feel guilty. I felt it was sort of false advertising.  

I admit that I look pretty good for 57 (Oil of Olay), but I don't look as good as that picture on the left. Chins up, margaritas and fortunate lighting can create a lovely illusion.  I'm more a combination of the two pictures.  So, I created the combo picture above and posted that as my Facebook profile picture instead. 

I posted it to remind everyone that in these times when everyone has a camera at their fingertips and we're all constantly being photographed, we should enjoy every minute of a perfectly lighted, accidentally great photo, but we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves for the not so great ones.

We know you don't look like the bad ones and, I hate to tell you, we also know you don't always look like the glamorous ones either.  So, stop untagging and deleting the ones you don't like.  It's all part of who you are and if anyone decides to stop being your friend or not date you because of an unflattering Facebook picture, you're best rid of them anyway.

"Anger Management"

I quit DVRing "Two and a Half Men" about halfway through the season without Charlie Sheen. On the other hand, I never miss Charlie Sheen's new show. Didn't see that coming.

It's not even eight o'clock, yet?

I've babysat my two grand-fabulous-children (ages 5 and 2) the past two days, just during the day, while Jamie had a church function and Cory had training. 

At approximately 7:15 this morning, the dog crapped on the floor. I saw him in the act and he wouldn't stop. I ran to the kitchen to get something to clean it up while hollering at Ava, "Where's Lucas? Keep him away from the hall!" She hollered back, "He's back here with me! He just spilled all my milk on the carpet in the sun room." 

I cleaned up the dog poop and ran to the sun room to clean up the milk the best I could so it wouldn't sour the rug and WOO WEEE (!!!), Lucas had a big stinky gift for grandma in his diaper.

All of this happened in about 10 minutes time. As I changed the stinky diaper, I looked at my watch and thought, "Good grief, it's not even 8 o'clock, yet."

I wasn't going to share this with anyone, because I didn't want Cory and Jamie to think I minded one single minute of watching the kids, but one of the first things Ava told Jamie when she walked through the door was, "Oakley pooped on the floor!"

Busted.

Don't be afraid. Be happy.

I am completely, totally and obviously an optimist.  Pessimists and people who always look at the dark side of life drive me crazy.  I just want them to be happy...or just happier and it drives me nuts that I can't fix that.

This article (click here) suggests that pessimism is actually a result of fear rather than just plain old negativity.  That changes everything I ever thought about pessimists.  Don't worry, be happy now becomes don't be afraid, be happy.


Also, get over yourself.

Aggravation Today...and One From Yesterday!

A woman in the parking lot at Sam's saw me waiting for her parking spot and proceeded to stand at the back of her SUV and FOLD the eight shirts she bought in Sam's (while her daughter walked her basket to the basket holding area) before pulling out of the parking space.  If you've ever parked at Sam's, you know that me leaving to find another good parking place was not an option.  Would a court have convicted me for running over her?  I don't think so.

People in Sam's would not move out of my damn way...including Sam's employees.  When I got aggravated at one point and went around a bunch of people who wouldn't move, a lady actually gave me a dirty look.  I got a dirty look because I didn't want to stand around with a bunch of morons who were dumbfounded about clearing a Sam's aisle traffic jam.  Whatever, rude lady.

After checking out at Sam's, I waited in line (6 people in front of me) to buy a Sam's hot dog (always delicious, by the way...hence my willingness to wait...$1.70 for drink and hot dog) and, when I finally got to the front of the line, I was told they were out of hot dogs.  It was lunch time and they were out of hot dogs.  Makes sense, right?

Since I couldn't get my hot dog, I drove to Kentucky Fried Chicken and was told that I get a drink with my meal.  I ordered lemonade and...guess what...they were out of lemonade.  Since I didn't want anything with caffeine due to my aggravation level being already off the charts, I would have told her to forget about giving me a drink, but I had the feeling that would have blown her mind.  So, she gave me water.

Yesterday afternoon at McDonald's, I ordered Chicken McNuggets.  They asked what sauce I wanted.  I said Sweet and Sour.  When I got to the window, the girl said,  "Sorry, we're out of Sweet and Sour.  I gave you ketchup."  She handed me my bag and returned to taking orders.  Uh.  Thanks?  How about one of the other six choices, lady?  Ketchup?

Also in the last two days, people running stop signs and not using blinkers are trying to kill me.  I'm convinced of it.

I'm not leaving my house again until I have to go to work Monday morning.  Maybe my bad mojo will be gone by then.