Happy Birthday, Terry and Grandpa!!

Today is Terry's actual birthday which she shares with our grandpa.

Five years ago, September 11th changed from just being her birthday to a tragic day in American history.

So, in this one spot on the internet, Terry comes first.

Happy Birthday, little sister.

Stupid Snake

We take a brief commercial break from postings about Terry's birthday bash (which will continue tomorrow after I, hopefully, get those damn pictures uploaded to Flickr) to bring you this lovely image thanks to an article I read over at Fay's Break Room...



According to this story, the python ate a pregnant ewe.
Baaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

Terry's 50th Birthday Party Pictures

I'm having trouble uploading the digital pictures from last night to Flickr. So, for now, here are some Polaroids. (By the way, I was the designated driver, hence the limo driver hat.)

Beaumont Bowl

Below are some pictures I took from Katie's second football game as a Westbrook Star. I promise to get better pics of her at some point.

Westbrook beat Central and, after beating Ozen last week, earned the Beaumont Bowl trophy.

Westbrook lost two girl soccer players in a tragic bus accident this spring and Central's band paid an emotional tribute to the girls at halftime. It was a beautiful thing. Thanks, Central.




Westbrook Football team



Central High School band




Westbrook High School Stars




Westbrook Stars - Katie is in there somewhere

Westbrook Band

Sing it, Kinky

Read it: Kinky Supports Legalized Gambling in Texas

Happy 50th Birthday, Terry

Next week is my sister Terry's 50th birthday. Everyone in our little group is finally catching up to me.

Saturday night, after we have dinner at a surprise location, we will be out at Crockett Street somewhere and everywhere. If you're out and about and run into us, be sure to tell her Happy Big Birthday.

Gag me with a...Dr. Pepper can

The other day I bought a Dr. Pepper at a convenience store. After I opened it and before I took a sip, I happened to glance at the top of the can and noticed all kinds of little black specks on the can. They looked like black pepper but they could have just as easily been rat shit.

Have you ever thought about where a can or bottle has been and who has touched it before you put that thing to your lips? At the very least, since it left the semi-sanitized conditions under which it was bottled or canned, it has been (a) in a warehouse, (b) in the back of a truck, (c) on various and sundry dollies, (d) touched by delivery men, store clerks, other shoppers and last but certainly not least (e) crawled on by God knows what type of vermin and/or insect.

Yet, have you ever seen anyone wash off the top of a can or bottle before they drink from it? Oh, you will occasionally see someone give it a perfunctory wipe but that ain’t gonna smote no rat turd funk or convenience store clerk sneeze spit germs.

So, you think you’ll solve the problem by pouring the canned drink into a glass before you drink it? Look where the tab goes when you open the can…INSIDE the drink. You think a bottled drink is cleaner? Where is your bottom lip when you take a nice big frosty swig?

Ah, so many things to gross me out and so little time.

Here's a Joke

I'm headed to the couch to watch Rock Star Supernova and I anticipate falling asleep shortly after. Since I like to post at least something every day, here's a joke for you. Skip to the end if you like (that's what I usually do). I promise it will make you read the whole joke.

A farmer and his son were having a conversation when the young man told his father that he was still a virgin.

His father told him, "Son, I want you to go into town to Miss Lilly's house. Give her this duck and she'll know what to do."

The boy walked to town, found Miss Lilly's place and gave Miss Lilly the duck. When Miss Lilly found out it was the boy's first time, she decided to have sex with him herself. Everything went fine but when he was leaving he asked, "Where's my duck?"

Miss Lilly said, "Well, the duck was in payment for the sex." The young man began to cry. Miss Lilly was so confused, she said, "I'll tell you what. Come back in and have sex with me again and I'll give you the duck back."

When they finished having sex again, Miss Lilly gave him the duck back. However, as the boy was walking home, the duck jumped out of his arms, ran into the street and got hit by a truck. The boy sat down on the curb and started to cry again.

The man in the truck walked up to the young man and asked him what was wrong. He said, "You ran over my duck."

The man said, "I'm so sorry. I'll tell you what, here's a dollar for you."

When the boy got home, his dad asked him how everything went. The boy said, "Well, dad, it was a pretty weird day."

"How so?", asked his dad.

The boy said, "Well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and a buck for a fucked up duck."

Are you sure?

Dates of Death:

JonBenet Ramsey - 12/27/96

Princess Di – 8/31/97

(I would have bet that Princess Di's accident was long before the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.)

Fun Times in Antarctica - The 300 Club

I have a blogging friend who is working in Antarctica. His name is Neal and that's him on the right in the picture below. If you've ever wondered what people do with their spare time at the South Pole, you should check out his blog. This is what they do when the temperature dips down to a "bone" chilling -100F:

When the temperature drops to -100F (-73C) we turn the sauna up to 200F (93C). We disrobe and sit inside the sauna naked until we feel like we're cooked then go outside to the pole. The experience gives us a 300F degree (160C) change in temperature in a matter of seconds.

(Hubba, hubba)

Strummin' With The Devil

This isn't as weird as it sounds. It's a bluegrass tribute to Van Halen. Okay, it is as weird as it sounds but it's still very good, actually.

I don't know anything about bluegrass music but I heard the Jump cover on my XM radio one day at work and felt compelled to buy the whole CD. I thought the best tracks were the ones that included David Lee Roth, the ones with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band and the one with the John Cowan Band.

For me, a little bluegrass goes a long way, so I haven't yet been able to listen to the whole thing in one sitting. However, spread out over several listening sessions, it is absolutely, positively entertaining. Most importantly, it's something a little bit different for your music collection.

Here's the track listing:


1. JUMP - David Lee Roth with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band
2. JAMIE’S CRYIN’ - David Lee Roth with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band
3. I’LL WAIT - Blue Highway
4. RUNNIN’ WITH THE DEVIL - The John Cowan Band (courtesy of Pinecastle Records)
5. DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY - Mountain Heart
6. AIN’T TALKIN’ ‘BOUT LOVE - Iron Horse
7. HOT FOR TEACHER - David Grisman
8. FEEL YOUR LOVE TONIGHT - Tony Trischka, Dudley Connell, Marshall Wilborn, Dave McLaughlin
9. PANAMA - Cornbread Red
10. UNCHAINED - Iron Horse
11. ICE CREAM MAN - Larry Cordle
12. AND THE CRADLE WILL ROCK... - The John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band
13. COULD THIS BE MAGIC? - The Nashville Bluegrass Band (courtesy of Sugar Hill Records)
14. ERUPTION - Dennis Caplinger
15. JAMIE’S CRYIN’[RADIO EDIT] - David Lee Roth with the John Jorgenson Bluegrass Band

Edited to add this video (thanks to Pokerboss for pointing it out):
(By the way, Diamond Dave sounds a lot better on the CD than he does in this video and what's up with the Beach Boys shirt?)

Happy (Early) Birthday to Me

Cory and Jamie came to town this weekend to help me celebrate my birthday (which is officially September 5th). We went to Frankie's for some yummy Italian food.

I have no stories except to add that dad is back to gleefully teasing waiters and harassing perfect strangers...another sign that he is on the fast track to recovery. He is also doing some Jingles the Clown work.

Bonnie, Jamie, Cory

Dad and Mom

Mom, Katie, Terry, Dan

Me, Dad, Mom

Jamie, Cory, Me

True Colors

Since no one except you reads blogs on the weekends, let alone a holiday weekend, I think it's as good a time as any to do this silly little bloggy thing I stole from Mommy Needs a Mai Tai a while back.

These are the first things that pop into my mind when I think of...

Pink - John Cougar Mellancamp and my brother-in-law Dan. When Little Pink Houses was popular, Dan used to go around saying, "Paint the mutha pink" (especially while playing Trivial Pursuit).

Gray - A really cool guy I met on Crockett Street recently who said his name was Gray.

Red - My dad. That's his name.

Black - Black fingernails. I'm not sure why.

Orange - "Orange you glad I didn't say yellow?" (an old knock-knock joke).

Brown - Puppies.

Blue - Dusk and dawn. My son used to call those times "blue time." Next time you're outside at dusk or dawn, look at the sky.

Yellow - Mardi Gras (see below).

Green - Mardi Gras (see above and below).

Purple - Mardi Gras (see above).

Ho!!!

As I was walking in to work this morning, there was a shabby looking man on a bicycle riding down the street that I have to cross to get to my building. He was shouting “Look at that ho!!” at the girls who had already crossed the street. “Whoa, that’s a big one!! THAT'S A BIG HO RIGHT THERE!!!” We have several shouting strange people who hang around this neighborhood.

I kept my head down and tried not to make eye contact. After I crossed the street, he shouted at the girl behind me, “I never saw a ho that big! Looks like somebody jumped out of it!”

Huh?

The girl, who obviously wasn’t as stupid as me, said, “Yeah, that window’s been broken a couple of days. You’re right. That sure is a big hole.”