I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Oh, yeah. I forgot to blog.

I wish I could tell you I have a fabulously interesting reason for not blogging. I would love to tell you that my world travels and charity work have interfered or that I've been putting the finishing touches on my secret novel, but the reason is much more mundane than that. The reason is that I have no reason.

Since I've been out of work the past month, my life has been very relaxed. I spend a lot of time puttering around the house and visiting the grand-fabulous Ava. Perhaps being so relaxed has also doused the flame of inspiration to write about every silly thing that pops into Laurie's Brain. Lately, when I think about blogging something, my follow-up thought is, "Nah. Nobody cares about that." Yet, when I look back at previous posts, there are plenty of posts about things that nobody cares about. Never stopped me before.

Along with lack of interest in my own thoughts, I tend to agree with my blogging friend Lorna and must place some of the blame on Facebook. In the past when thoughts popped into my head, I would do a blog post to clear out the cobwebs clinging to the corners of my brain. Now, I do a Facebook post and discuss the topic in real time with my friends and family. For example, last night I had a sudden urge to poll my friends on the riveting topic of: "2010: twenty-ten or two thousand ten?" Fascinating stuff. Thirty or forty comments later, the subject was exhausted and I no longer had the urge to blog about it.

I received an e-mail from a friend this morning who was concerned about my lack of blog posts over the last week and a half. Since most of you use my little blog as a barometer of Laurie's Brain health and Laurie's Mood status, I promise to pop in here more often.

Thanks for checking on me.

Shut up Jane, I'm With Coco

I was just watching Headline News (known as "HLN" now for some unknown ridiculous marketing reason) and there was a woman on there (Jane something?) complaining about the rallies and ruckus and enthusiasm of the Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien/Jimmy Fallon fans.

Her problem with the whole business is that, in her opinion, people should be rallying and ruckusing and enthusing about more important things. Their energy, she whined, should be directed to women's rights! and Haiti! and healthcare!

I have two words for her: (1) shut, (2) up.

Wait. I have three more words for her: (1) leave, (2) people, (3) alone.

We're all aware of women's rights and Haiti and healthcare. That's why we're enjoying the hell out of the late night drama. It's harmless, it takes our minds off of the important stuff for a while, these guys are millionaires so they aren't going to starve and it's just plain fun...and funny. The monologues on these shows the last two weeks have been hilarious as they both skewer "The Man" in the form of the evil NBC.

So lady, Jane whatever-your-name-is, shut up and leave people alone.

Edited to add:
I looked it up. The bitchy woman's name is Jane Velez-Mitchell. Don't watch her show. She's cranky.

Rock for Haiti (Beaumont, Texas)

Ryan Bingham Beats Paul McCartney and U2 To Golden Globe | undercover.com.au, Music, News, Entertainment

Ryan Bingham Beats Paul McCartney and U2 To Golden Globe undercover.com.au, Music, News, Entertainment

Cleaning Hint: Change your Flapper

Here's your household cleaning hint for the day: change your toilet flapper. That's a flapper up there. How does changing your flapper help with your house cleaning chores? Read on.

Several months ago, I noticed that my downstairs toilet was making strange noises. When I opened the tank, I noticed that my flapper wasn't sealing. I bought a new $5 flapper and installed it myself in less than five minutes.

This not only stopped the strange noises and decreased my water bill, it also had another unexpected effect. I noticed when I removed the old flapper, black stuff came off all over my hands. Eureka! This is what was causing the black ring to form in my toilet within a day of Scrubbing Bubble-ing it. After I changed my flapper, I no longer had the black ring form in my toilet bowl between cleanings.

Go check your flapper. If it's old and black and touching it leaves yucky black stuff on your hands, change it. If you're as lazy as me about cleaning toilets, you'll be glad you did.

Another Longneck Road Show!

Crazy Heart’s Ryan Bingham on Writing His Golden Globe–Nominated Song, ‘The Weary Kind’ -- Vulture

Crazy Heart’s Ryan Bingham on Writing His Golden Globe–Nominated Song, ‘The Weary Kind’ -- Vulture

Katie, Chloe and I saw Ryan Bingham at the Stingaree/Crab Festival at Crystal Beach last year. He was amazing. Click on the link above to read an interview about his Golden Globe nominated song, "The Weary Kind."

Unemployment: Week Two

Week two of my unemployment finds me:

- going to Walmart in sweat pants (I fear I shall be overdressed); and

- staring at my worldly possessions wondering why I've spent so much money in my lifetime on unnecessary crap.

Things I Learned About Football This Week

* I don't hate all football announcers...only the loud, obnoxious ones who insist on constantly restating the obvious.

* Female sports announcers are annoying.

* I forgot that I do like to watch football.

* Football is beautiful on my HD television.

* Those "The Wolfman" commercials are freaking me out.

* Football if more fun to watch if a Texas team is playing.

* I'm surprised some television commercials still refer to the Cowboys as "America's Team." Doesn't that piss non-Dallas fans off? Seems like it would.

* While reading Facebook comments, I notice that a lot of people randomly hate this team or that team. How does that happen?

* I like football player pants. Well, maybe it's not JUST the pants.

* I love this guy...



*Keith Brooking video*

Water Soaked Carpet? Coonass Move.

Coonass (koon'-ass) n. - slang; a person of Cajun ancestry. Laurie is a coonass.
Coonass (koon'-ass) adj. - inept, done without forethought. That was a coonass move.

Our temperatures here in southeast Texas have been ridiculously cold for my warm lizard blood. The low last night was 23 degrees. Brr.

Thursday night, our local news reported that letting your water pipes run overnight is an acceptable method for preventing your water pipes from freezing and possibly bursting. (NOTE: This isn't appropriate everywhere, but Beaumont's water system is equipped for this type of pipe protection.)

So before I went to bed last night, I turned on the water in my kitchen sink to let it run. I also started my dishwasher. This was a coonass move. (See definition above.)

Whenever my dad would do something which led to a f*ck up (either major or minor), he would call himself a coonass.

Falling off a unicycle while trying to learn to ride - "Coonass!"

Running over a dog bone in the back yard while cutting grass resulting in a gashed leg (his leg) - "Coonass!!"

Stepping off a 2 x 4 in the attic and putting his foot through the kitchen ceiling - "Coonass!!!"

There were other colorful words used by dad at those times, but the common word to every incident was "coonass."

When I stepped on my water soaked dining room carpet this morning, I thought I had a burst pipe and my anger was directed toward Mother Nature and her stupid sub-freezing temperatures. Upon further Googled investigation, however, I discovered that dishwashers drain through the garbage disposal.

Evidently, letting water pour into the top of a garbage disposal all night, at the same time the dishwasher is trying to drain through the side of said garbage disposal is a bad idea. A "coonass move," so to speak.

Even though I've spent most of the morning trying to suck the water out of my carpet with my wet-vac, it's still soaked. So, I've decided to spray the carpet with vinegar (to prevent stinkage) and open my patio doors.

I will continue the wet-vac sucking later, but for now I'm sitting on my couch bundled up in my Snuggie, a hoodie and a down blanket as a 35 degree breeze flows past my easter-egg smelling carpet.

Coonass.

I'm on a mission from God

I'm going to walk to my mailbox at the end of my block. The reason that is blog-worthy news is that it's about 30 degrees outside and the wind is blowing like a mother trucker. If you don't hear from me the rest of the day, please send someone to unstick my frozen fingers from my mailbox.

"Where's Flick?"

Dream a Little Dream

I dreamed we were all living together again (me, mom, Terry, Bonnie, Stuart) in a house that I have never seen before. In the dream, it was time to go to dinner, but there was an AT&T lady in the house who wouldn't leave.

Finally, I decided to search for the phone lady. Room by room, I searched behind curtains and under bed covers, but couldn't find her. While I was searching, the phone rang.

When I answered the phone a man said, "We were wondering how the show went today."

I said, "I'm sorry. We forgot to call you. My dad passed away, so we had to cancel the show. We will no longer be needing your services."

The man evidently worked for a booking agency.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I was looking forward to seeing your dad work with Calista Flockhart. She does great caricatures."

Calista Flockhart?

WTF?

Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter

Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter

Cleaning out my camera

My Christmas present to the Grand-Fabulous Ava


The Grand-Fabulous Ava cooking something for Oakley


My friend Jen is expecting a baby next month. We had her shower today.

This is the lovely (and delicious) cake.

Jen holding Becca's beautiful baby boy

(Click here for more pictures and videos.)

MUSIC GAME!

Play this music game and more at JamLegend

Saturday Night

I'm going to put on a pot of coffee, pay my bills, watch ghost stuff on the Biography Channel and eat fudge for supper.

Because, that's how I roll.

From my friend Cammie...

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