Aggravation Today...and One From Yesterday!

A woman in the parking lot at Sam's saw me waiting for her parking spot and proceeded to stand at the back of her SUV and FOLD the eight shirts she bought in Sam's (while her daughter walked her basket to the basket holding area) before pulling out of the parking space.  If you've ever parked at Sam's, you know that me leaving to find another good parking place was not an option.  Would a court have convicted me for running over her?  I don't think so.

People in Sam's would not move out of my damn way...including Sam's employees.  When I got aggravated at one point and went around a bunch of people who wouldn't move, a lady actually gave me a dirty look.  I got a dirty look because I didn't want to stand around with a bunch of morons who were dumbfounded about clearing a Sam's aisle traffic jam.  Whatever, rude lady.

After checking out at Sam's, I waited in line (6 people in front of me) to buy a Sam's hot dog (always delicious, by the way...hence my willingness to wait...$1.70 for drink and hot dog) and, when I finally got to the front of the line, I was told they were out of hot dogs.  It was lunch time and they were out of hot dogs.  Makes sense, right?

Since I couldn't get my hot dog, I drove to Kentucky Fried Chicken and was told that I get a drink with my meal.  I ordered lemonade and...guess what...they were out of lemonade.  Since I didn't want anything with caffeine due to my aggravation level being already off the charts, I would have told her to forget about giving me a drink, but I had the feeling that would have blown her mind.  So, she gave me water.

Yesterday afternoon at McDonald's, I ordered Chicken McNuggets.  They asked what sauce I wanted.  I said Sweet and Sour.  When I got to the window, the girl said,  "Sorry, we're out of Sweet and Sour.  I gave you ketchup."  She handed me my bag and returned to taking orders.  Uh.  Thanks?  How about one of the other six choices, lady?  Ketchup?

Also in the last two days, people running stop signs and not using blinkers are trying to kill me.  I'm convinced of it.

I'm not leaving my house again until I have to go to work Monday morning.  Maybe my bad mojo will be gone by then.

In Defense of Christina Aguilara

Three things I have to say in defense of Christina Aguilera’s bad behavior on The Voice last night:

       1.  Because she thinks everything is about her, Tony Lucca’s performance of a song which included the edited out word “bitch” offended her personally.  She no doubt felt it was directed at her, because everything is about her, and proceeded to prove her point by acting like a bitch the rest of the night.  Texting/tweeting during the judge’s comment portion after one of Tony’s performances?  Classy.

       2.  Sneaking through the audience before the show paying those people to shout “I love you, Christina” must be exhausting.

3.  Her stylist hates her.

The Road Goes on Forever

WEIRDNESS - Friday night, my sister Terry texted me and asked who sang the song "The Road Goes on Forever."  It's a 1989 song from Robert Earl Keen.  I texted her back saying it was Robert Earl Keen.

Saturday night, as I was leaving my son Cory's house, I still had my radio on NPR from listening to "World Cafe" that afternoon and "THE ROAD GOES ON FOREVER" WAS PLAYING ON THE RADIO!

What are the odds that I would get in my car at that exact moment with my radio on that particular station?  I never hear this song on the radio...ever.  I don't think I have ever heard it on the radio, actually.  Plus, I wasn't listening to a Texas music station or anything like that.  It was KVLU, the local public radio station.

Does anybody else have a connection to this song or have an idea what this weird coincidence/moment of synchronicity might mean.  Spiritually, I do believe that "the road goes on forever" so maybe it's a message from our loved ones who have moved on that the road does indeed go on forever.

I try to be patient with the old people who still write checks in the grocery store line, because I know when I'm that age and I'm still using my debit card, the young people behind me will be wondering why I'm not using a laser retina implant device to pay for my groceries like everyone else.

All You Need is Love...bom bom bada bom...

Last night my mom and I went to a memorial service for my Aunt Gladys’ sister-in-law.  Although I only saw Aunt Dorothy a few times a year, she always had a big hug for everyone, a warm smile and something funny to say.  During the services, her adult granddaughter spoke and now I know why Aunt Dorothy was such a joy to be around.  Her granddaughter told a few funny stories and then told us she wanted us all to know the three lessons she learned from her grandmother.

Smile More

The granddaughter’s sister went to visit her grandmother and was complaining about this or that.  Her grandmother looked at her and sweetly said, “You’re always complaining about something.  You need to stop complaining so much and decide to enjoy life.  Smile more.  You have a beautiful smile.  You should smile more.”

Never Hate

Aunt Dorothy did not like the word “hate” and nobody was allowed to use it when they were around her.  If someone said, “I hate this pencil.”  She would say, “You do not hate that pencil.  You dislike that pencil.” 

Always Love

Her granddaughter once asked her, “How can you love everybody no matter what they’ve done?  No matter what awful things they’ve done or how they’ve treated people, you’re always kind to them.  How can you treat everyone so nice all the time?”

Aunt Dorothy looked at the baby her granddaughter was holding and told her, “You have to look at everyone as though they’re that baby you’re holding.  When we’re born, we’re pure love and innocence like that baby.  God created us full of love and things happen to people in their life, but that innocent baby is still inside that person.  You have to look for that innocence and see it in everyone you meet.  Look at everyone like God looks at them.”

Rest in Peace

Now, I know why I felt such peace when I would sit next to Aunt Dorothy and listen to her funny stories.  She saw God in me.  She saw God in everyone.  Rest in peace, Aunt Dorothy.  You deserve it.  I strongly dislike that you won’t be around anymore.

Draw...something

I'm disturbed at how many of my "Draw Something" pictures start out looking like some variation of a penis.

Magic Man?

I hate it when I've been standing waiting for an elevator and someone rushes up like they're so damn important and RE-pushes the elevator button and the damn elevator opens up like that person has some sort of magic powers. Screw you, elevator.

The Perfect Storm

Last night, I was stopped at a stop sign and two cars were traveling toward each other on the cross street in front of me.  They caught my eye, because they were both really zooming.  As they got closer, I noticed that one of them was a Domino's delivery dude and the other was a Papa John's delivery dude.  As they got even closer, I realized they were both turning onto my street and they were both determined to get onto my street first.

Luckily, Papa John's dude made it to the corner a wee bit faster than Domino's dude and all ended well.  I'm not disappointed that I didn't end up sandwiched between two pizza dudes, but I think it would have made for a really interesting accident report.

Happy Mardi Gras! Live cams!!

Live cameras from Bourbon Street and Jackson Square!

From the Cat's Meow, we have several views and you can zoom.  Check below the large image for additional views. (Formerly known as the Bourbocam.)

Click here.

From Jackson Square, watch the party from the comfort of your couch.

Click here.

Valentine's Day Quiz: What is neither a man nor a woman?

Our building laid out a lovely candy spread in the lobby this morning for Valentine's Day.  On the table, along with lots of candies of many sorts, was a pink paper with Valentine's Day "facts."  One of the facts was:

"73% of Valentine Day flowers are bought by men, whereas women buy only 23% of Valentine flowers."


Let's do the math

Lets assume for our calculations that the "flowers" are roses.  According to one website, 110 million roses will be bought for Valentine's Day.

73% + 23% = 96%

73% = men

23% = women

4% = ? (!)

4% of 110,000,000 roses = 440,000 roses

That gives us 36,666 dozen roses bought by people other than men and/or other than women.

Rounding up for flowers given on Valentine's Day which are not roses and rounding down for the showoffs who give more than one dozen roses to their amour, let's just say that 36,666 people who are neither men nor women are giving flowers to their significant other.

That seems like an awful lot of he/shes to me, even for The United States of America.  Does anyone have RuPaul's phone number, because I have some questions?

Tommy Jordan Video Dad is an Ass

I'm glad this idiot and his daughter made up (according to this update). Almost all of my friends and family think this guy did the right thing. I think his daughter is the way she is, because he is the way he is.

Serve him coffee? Mess up the floor she just cleaned and not apologize or, god forbid, clean it up yourself? Why is she making the bed in the guest room? Who slept there that they can't make up their own damn bed? Ground her for THREE months? He's an ass.

Teach her a lesson about the value of things by destroying a computer?

Her mistake was putting in writing the things that teenagers have said to their friends throughout eternity. I'm sure she'll turn out just fine and she'll raise her kids in the same obnoxious, domineering way that this guy raised her.

Whatever works for them, I guess. It seems to have all worked out fine...until the next outburst...from both of them.

Still Open for Business

In case anyone was wondering, this blog is still open for business.  It's just on hiatus for lack of dedication by its author.  Slacker.

Today's Ava-isms

In response to "how old are you?" to her Uncle Dan:  Wow!  That's a lot.

Telling a story about what we would do if she got hurt:  Y'all would be saying "Help me Jesus!  Help me Jesus" in her best Medea voice.

In response to meeting Nanny's friends:  Are they going to all get in my face?

At the fountain in Howell's:  "Wait.  What are you going to do?"

Driver's license:  Why do you have that mean look on your face.  Grandma has a funny looking picture in her wallet.  Show 'em grandma.

Second New Years Resolution

Drivers who cut in front of me even though there was nobody behind me and they could have waited 1.3 seconds to pull out after I passed and who then drive 10 m.p.h. slower than me shall be dealt with swiftly and with "extreme prejudice."  Patent pending.