To Wii or Not to Wii

I'm thinking about spending the money I usually spend every year for a gym membership that I end up not using after three months on a Wii game console. I understand it comes with the sports package.

Does anyone feel like they get pretty good exercise using the Wii? Also, for exercise purposes, do you recommend one of the dance game titles or Wii Fit? What other games are offered that require a lot of movement?

Your profanity filter will probably block this post

I have a potty mouth. I try to control it, but I come from a long line of potty mouths. My grandparents were poetic in their use of profanity and I do them proud on a daily basis. However, there are instances of my potty mouth-iness which will probably buy me several weeks, if not months, in purgatory.

• Several years ago while driving down Dowlen Road after a building boom of churches, I looked at another building being constructed and told my sister, "It's probably just another damn church."



• When I walked out of church a couple of weeks ago, I said a little too loudly, "Gotdammit, it's cold!"



• This one doesn't have cussing, but I'm sure I didn't gain any heavenly favor either. While looking at a free calendar I got from church with pictures of saints, I told my other sister, "This is a pretty calendar, but Ava trumps St. Jude." (My kids gave me a calendar for Christmas with different pictures of The Grand-Fabulous Ava on every page.)

P.S.
When I was making notes for this post last week, I wrote the following cryptic phrase, "It's fucking Christmas Eve!" I think someone told me a funny family Christmas story and that was the punchline and now I can't remember the story. If you're reading this post and it's your story, help a senile young woman out and tell us the story in the comments. You can be anonymous, if you like. I won't tell God.

My two newest television addictions...as though I need more

Cesar Millan - Dog Whisperer on National Geograhic Channel

(Click here for more information.)

Shatner's Raw Nerve on Biography Channel

(Click here for details and videos.)

"You want fries with that?"

I stopped at Sonic for lunch today. Whenever I place an order at Sonic, I know what I want when I push the little red button. That's why I push the button. My decision has been made. Do not offer me Caramel Cheesecake Bites, a Butterfinger Blast or a Hazelnut Frozen Latte. Do not offer them to me because I do, in fact, want them. I want all of them. Just take my order and be done with me. Aren't I doing enough damage to my thighs by just pulling into Sonic in the first place?

Today's order chick took the up-selling to a whole new level:

Order Chick: Welcome to Sonic. May I help you?

Me: I'd like the #11 (*) with a strawberry limeade.

Order Chick: Would you like a cheeseburger with that?

Me: Uh, excuse me?

Order Chick: ((silence))

Me: Excuse me, what did you say?

Order Chick: Would you like a cheeseburger with that? Or, some french toast sticks?

Me: No. No...no.

Order Chick: Okay. Thank you.

I'm guessing the Order Chick originally intended to offer to add french toast sticks to my breakfast burrito order, but she wasn't backing down on that cheeseburger. Of course, I guess it's possible there's been a rush lately of customers placing their order and suddenly shouting, "Oh, wait! I almost forgot. I need a cheeseburger!"

(*) #11 - sausage, egg and cheese burrito; tater tots, drink

See you Friday?

My friend Dick's band will be playing in The Back Room this Friday night. The Back Room is part of Whiskey River...but it's in the back. It's a really cool venue and they're a great band. They play all kinds of cover tunes for your musical pleasure. Come see me...I mean them. Come see them.

Monthly All Alumni Gathering

Missile Toe

Johnny Elton's wife, Johnny Elton, me, Kenneth, my sister Terry, Christel, my sister Bonnie and Cammie

Me, Terry, Johnny Elton and Bonnie (Johnny is a neighborhood friend who we've known since we were kids. He was so proud of the fact that he danced with all three "Ransonette girls" that he had to have a picture. It was also his birthday. Happy Birthday, Johnny!!)

We had our third Thomas Jefferson Port Arthur all alumni gathering last night at the Star Bar on Crockett Street and it was a huge success. We had well over a hundred alumni and guests there and everybody had a great time.

The Star Bar has recently reopened after being shut down for several months and it looks terrific. There's a "VIP room" with couches and a television and a private bar, a ping pong table, another bar and lots of other groovy stuff.

Best of all, my prayers to the party gods have been answered and the Star Bar hosts karaoke on Saturday nights. They're the only place I know of in all of our little corner of southeast Texas that hosts karaoke on a weekend night.







We had dinner at Pancho Villa's Mexican Kitchen which used to be Rio Rita's. The food was delicious except that Kenneth had issues with the color of his cheese or something. The margaritas were strong, but weren't as good as others I've had. I hope they expand their margarita menu. I miss my Grande Supremas.

Click here for a slideshow which includes a video. The video is dark, but it's my sister Terry and our friend Kenneth singing Mustang Sally.

Videos from Ava's Santa Encounter

The picture story of Ava's Santa Encounter is in the post below. Here are a couple of videos. By the way, Ava's lovely dress was hand-made by her Grand-Fabulous-Mother Lisa. That's "hand-made" as in NO sewing machine. It was adorable.

Watch Ava's eyes in the first video. She's trying to play it cool.

Ava meets Santa...and she is not amused

As you might know, my dad is Jingles the Clown, The Nutty Professor and also, when the season requires, Santa. Last year, Ava found Santa amusing with an interesting white fluffy beard. This year, she clung to me like I was about to throw her to the lions.

"Something doesn't feel right."

"What the heck?!"

"Sorry, Nan. I ain't buyin' it."

"Me and Willie are just fine right here."

"Santa, if you hurt my daddy..."

"Okay, I'm done."

"Is he really leaving?"

"Thank God that's over."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

So Much to Show You!

There are so many thing to show you: my nephew's Madrigal performance in Arkansas a couple of weeks ago, my other nephew's birthday party, my mom's birthday party, my office Christmas Party and Mary Beth's work-iversary, our BIG family Christmas party Saturday, our smaller family Christmas party Sunday, mom's church bells performance.

Let's just start with the Grand-Fabulous-Ava, shall we? The first two are videos.









If you just can't wait for the stories, all the pictures are here. (The ones with the little triangles in the bottom corner are videos.)

Snowball Fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Click here to play!

Why, you ask?

Because it's my blog.

Because I like Anthony Bourdain.

Because I love Anthony Bourdain.

Because I want somebody to tell me what kind of bone that is.

Because I like to make people say, "WTF?!"

Why?

• Why did the world evolve in such a way that health care and a college education are luxuries?
• Why is the quality of both directly related to how much a person can afford?
• Why?

Reasons I Will Never Go Hunting

1. It's always too damn cold.


2. Have to get up too damn early.


3. Deer stands are too damn high in the air.


4. Duck blinds are IN the water and usually infested with red ants, nutria rats and snakes.


5. It's too damn boring.


6. There are no people.


7. There are no bars.


8. There are no restaurants.


9. There are no casinos.


10. The goal is to kill things.


11. Wildlife, in general, freaks me out.


12. Guns freak me out.

Did you know what the picture above was? It's a deer feeder. It's not only a deer feeder, it's an automated deer feeder. Several years ago, I heard some guys talking about their deer feeders.

"Wait a minute," I said. "Let me get this straight. You feed the deer all year long. Then you go out there during hunting season, after the poor momma deer and daddy deer and baby deer have been eating your corn or whatever all year, and then you shoot them?"

Not very sportsmanlike, if you ask me. That would be like a tribe of cannibals running the Golden Corral.