Once again, self explanatoryFriday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
It can't possibly be September already
Yes, the holiday season is upon us. It's peering at us from behind that big tree over there. See it? Smirking.
Some holiday links for you:
Earth Calendar - International Holidays and Holidays by Religion
From a MySpace Quiz - My birthday: Be Late for Something Day
Federal Holidays - In case you care
Wikipedia Article - Because I'm a Wiki kind of girl
Weird Holidays - "I'm not going to take it anymore" Day, Penguin Awareness Day, Blame Someone Else Day, to name a few
Still More Holidays
One More Holiday Page
Some holiday links for you:
Earth Calendar - International Holidays and Holidays by Religion
From a MySpace Quiz - My birthday: Be Late for Something Day
Federal Holidays - In case you care
Wikipedia Article - Because I'm a Wiki kind of girl
Weird Holidays - "I'm not going to take it anymore" Day, Penguin Awareness Day, Blame Someone Else Day, to name a few
Still More Holidays
One More Holiday Page
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Steve and Peg's Vegas Vacation Practically Live! - Picture 1
My friends Steve and Peggy are in Las Vegas and they're going to e-mail pics to me along the way. I'm going to post them as I receive them. Steve titled this one "The Adventure Begins." I'm not sure where it was taken but it looks like the bar at the airport in Houston.
Two videos: one I like, one I don't like
First, the one that drives me nuts...
Now, the one I like...
Now, the one I like...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Want to see the most beautiful girls (and boy) in the world?
Cory is going to be adding pics to my Flickr account for the next few days. You can see them by clicking here or on the Flickr badge over there on my sidebar underneath my hat picture.
Cory = my son
Jamie = my daughter-in-law
Ava = my granddaughter
Monday, August 27, 2007
Happy 16th Birthday, Katie!
This is a montage of snapshots of snapshots. They're pretty fuzzy but still adorable.
Check out that shirt she bought on her drill team trip to New York.
She's one cool chick.
Katie = my sister Terry's daughter
Do you believe in reincarnation?
It shouldn't come as a big surprise to anyone who knows me even a little that I believe in reincarnation. I've had a few feelings and dreams that I think might be past life possibilities. However, I had one dream when I was a baby that I'm pretty sure was a glimpse of an event in a past life.
I, of course, think I might have lived in or around New Orleans at some point based on familiar feelings I have for the city and for the plantation homes along the Mississippi River. I don't know if it would have been early in New Orleans' history (around the 1700s) or possibly around the Civil War era or maybe both. That I would think of New Orleans as a past life possibility won't come as a surprise to anyone.
I also had a very realistic dream many years ago that has stuck with me to this day. I was running around playing on some green hills with friends. When I woke up, I thought I was just having some sort of Julie Andrews moment, but I wasn't in the mountains like in the Sound of Music. I was in beautiful green hills. If you've ever seen My Father's Glory or My Mother's Castle which were filmed in the hills in the Provence region of France, you know the kind of hills I'm talking about. Since all of my ancestors are from France, this might have possibly been a past life dream as well...or not.
However, there is one dream I had that I'm certain was a glimpse of a past life. I remembered it again last night as I was watching Apocalypto and saw the scene where the jaguar is chasing the man through the jungle. I distinctly remember being a baby in my baby bed and waking up crying and standing in my baby bed holding onto the rails because I had dreamed I was being chased through the jungle by a tiger. Being a baby, I of course couldn't tell anyone why I was crying but I swear I remember having the dream and standing up in my baby bed crying.
It wasn't a recurring dream but I have always vividly remembered the details of that one dream that I dreamed that one time as a baby: I was a man running through the jungle being chased by a tiger. It wasn't a lion, or a jaguar or a panther. It was a tiger and I was a man. I woke up before the tiger caught me so I don't know if the dream was of my death in that life or just a terrifying event in that life.
Pshaw, you say? Perhaps. But, when I go to the zoo and hear the lions and tigers roaring in the distance, I get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I sure do hate to run.
I, of course, think I might have lived in or around New Orleans at some point based on familiar feelings I have for the city and for the plantation homes along the Mississippi River. I don't know if it would have been early in New Orleans' history (around the 1700s) or possibly around the Civil War era or maybe both. That I would think of New Orleans as a past life possibility won't come as a surprise to anyone.
I also had a very realistic dream many years ago that has stuck with me to this day. I was running around playing on some green hills with friends. When I woke up, I thought I was just having some sort of Julie Andrews moment, but I wasn't in the mountains like in the Sound of Music. I was in beautiful green hills. If you've ever seen My Father's Glory or My Mother's Castle which were filmed in the hills in the Provence region of France, you know the kind of hills I'm talking about. Since all of my ancestors are from France, this might have possibly been a past life dream as well...or not.
However, there is one dream I had that I'm certain was a glimpse of a past life. I remembered it again last night as I was watching Apocalypto and saw the scene where the jaguar is chasing the man through the jungle. I distinctly remember being a baby in my baby bed and waking up crying and standing in my baby bed holding onto the rails because I had dreamed I was being chased through the jungle by a tiger. Being a baby, I of course couldn't tell anyone why I was crying but I swear I remember having the dream and standing up in my baby bed crying.
It wasn't a recurring dream but I have always vividly remembered the details of that one dream that I dreamed that one time as a baby: I was a man running through the jungle being chased by a tiger. It wasn't a lion, or a jaguar or a panther. It was a tiger and I was a man. I woke up before the tiger caught me so I don't know if the dream was of my death in that life or just a terrifying event in that life.
Pshaw, you say? Perhaps. But, when I go to the zoo and hear the lions and tigers roaring in the distance, I get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I sure do hate to run.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Cool Video Thingy
After you read the new post below, check out the cool new video thingy I installed at the bottom of the page. Click on the right top of the menu bar at the top of the video window for more categories.
Cue the Porno Flick Music
Yesterday, I hosted a Beauti Control Spa Escape at my house. As the party was wrapping up, I heard a quiet knock at my front door. I opened the door and there stood a really cute guy in gym shorts and no shirt.
"Uh, hello," I said.
"I really hate to bother you but do you know Bill he lives across the street there and I'm his roommate and I was jumping rope outside and I locked myself out and I asked the other lady who was just leaving here if I could use her phone and she said she doesn't live here and I guess she thought I might be dangerous or something since I'm standing here on your patio Oh My God standing here on your patio all sweaty with no shirt on but I swear I'm not a murderer or anything and I locked myself out and I have to go to work at 7:00 and my roommate is at work he's a nurse at Baptist Hospital and if you have a phone and a phonebook my numbers are all in my cell phone that would really be great because I don't know what to do I'm sorry I'm not wearing a shirt or anything Oh My God."
He said all of this in one breath while holding his hands across his chest as though I was looking at his, well, chest. Of course, I was looking at his chest. It's not every day that a good looking young man shows up on your patio without a shirt as though dropped from the stars by the Good Looking Young Guy Fairy.
Since I had a house full of people, I went ahead and let him in. When his first phone call was to his mother (who lives all the way in northeast Arkansas, by the way), I knew we probably weren't in any danger.
"Mom? Yeah, I locked myself out of the house and I have to go to work and Bill is at work...no, there isn't a back door...no, all the windows are locked...it's a patio door with one of those bar things on it so people can't break in...I don't have his work number because it's on my cell phone which is also locked in the house...well, I'm in this nice lady's house across the street who let me in even though I'm not wearing a shirt Oh My God and they're having some sort of meeting or something...What ARE you guys doing?...oh, they're having some sort of spa party or something...yeah, if you could give me Aaron's number maybe he could come get me and bring me to get the key from Bill...thanks...I love you, too."
Aw, sweet.
He called Aaron who we surmised was his brother, but Aaron couldn't come and get him. As the poor thing rummaged through the phone book looking for people to call to bring him to get a key, one of my guests graciously offered to give cutie-pie a ride. Wasn't that nice of her?
At that point, I went upstairs and found a t-shirt for him to wear. Yes, I realize that he had been in my house at least fifteen minutes before I offered him a shirt. Like I said before, it's not every day that a good looking young man shows up on your patio without a shirt as though dropped from the stars by the Good Looking Young Guy Fairy, and I was going to make the most of it.
When he left, I told everybody, "This is the kind of things that my blogger friends say 'would only happen to Laurie.' I'm glad I have witnesses because I'm not sure anybody would have believed this one."
"Uh, hello," I said.
"I really hate to bother you but do you know Bill he lives across the street there and I'm his roommate and I was jumping rope outside and I locked myself out and I asked the other lady who was just leaving here if I could use her phone and she said she doesn't live here and I guess she thought I might be dangerous or something since I'm standing here on your patio Oh My God standing here on your patio all sweaty with no shirt on but I swear I'm not a murderer or anything and I locked myself out and I have to go to work at 7:00 and my roommate is at work he's a nurse at Baptist Hospital and if you have a phone and a phonebook my numbers are all in my cell phone that would really be great because I don't know what to do I'm sorry I'm not wearing a shirt or anything Oh My God."
He said all of this in one breath while holding his hands across his chest as though I was looking at his, well, chest. Of course, I was looking at his chest. It's not every day that a good looking young man shows up on your patio without a shirt as though dropped from the stars by the Good Looking Young Guy Fairy.
Since I had a house full of people, I went ahead and let him in. When his first phone call was to his mother (who lives all the way in northeast Arkansas, by the way), I knew we probably weren't in any danger.
"Mom? Yeah, I locked myself out of the house and I have to go to work and Bill is at work...no, there isn't a back door...no, all the windows are locked...it's a patio door with one of those bar things on it so people can't break in...I don't have his work number because it's on my cell phone which is also locked in the house...well, I'm in this nice lady's house across the street who let me in even though I'm not wearing a shirt Oh My God and they're having some sort of meeting or something...What ARE you guys doing?...oh, they're having some sort of spa party or something...yeah, if you could give me Aaron's number maybe he could come get me and bring me to get the key from Bill...thanks...I love you, too."
Aw, sweet.
He called Aaron who we surmised was his brother, but Aaron couldn't come and get him. As the poor thing rummaged through the phone book looking for people to call to bring him to get a key, one of my guests graciously offered to give cutie-pie a ride. Wasn't that nice of her?
At that point, I went upstairs and found a t-shirt for him to wear. Yes, I realize that he had been in my house at least fifteen minutes before I offered him a shirt. Like I said before, it's not every day that a good looking young man shows up on your patio without a shirt as though dropped from the stars by the Good Looking Young Guy Fairy, and I was going to make the most of it.
When he left, I told everybody, "This is the kind of things that my blogger friends say 'would only happen to Laurie.' I'm glad I have witnesses because I'm not sure anybody would have believed this one."
Saturday, August 25, 2007
This Preview is Rated R
I recently told some friends that I prefer to read subtitles to watching a dubbed foreign movie. Last night I watched a French film which I first watched with subtitles then watched dubbed. Although I still prefer the subtitles so that I can hear the actual voices of the actors, I'm now wondering if the dubbing isn't a more accurate interpretation of the writer's intent.
I never thought about it before but subtitles, out of necessity, must be severely edited to keep up with the pace of the movie. It's going to take me a lot longer to get through my NetFlix queue now if I start watching all my foreign movie choices twice, once with dubbing and once without.
My one exception to my preference for subtitles is 1970s Japanese kung fu/karate/ass kicking movies. I watched some of the movie below today and it and all its sequels are now in my ridiculously long Netflix queue.
I never thought about it before but subtitles, out of necessity, must be severely edited to keep up with the pace of the movie. It's going to take me a lot longer to get through my NetFlix queue now if I start watching all my foreign movie choices twice, once with dubbing and once without.
My one exception to my preference for subtitles is 1970s Japanese kung fu/karate/ass kicking movies. I watched some of the movie below today and it and all its sequels are now in my ridiculously long Netflix queue.
4:14
For the fouth morning in a row, I have woken up out of a deep sleep at exactly 4:14 a.m. The first two mornings I didn't really think anything of it. Yesterday, I thought it was odd. This time, I'm a little freaked out.
Any thoughts?
Any thoughts?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
With apologies to John Fogerty
After being so mean to John Fogerty on my previous post, I have decided I should give him equal time to hate my voice, too.
Although I still have major tempo problems, this one is much better than my previous attempts melody-wise. If you don't believe me, listen to the others. I don't actually suggest that you do that. In fact, I don't suggest that you listen to the entire "performance" below either. However, some people enjoy this sort of thing. So, off we go...
I think you can get to my other songs (once again, not recommending that) by rating the above song. Please be gentle.
Although I still have major tempo problems, this one is much better than my previous attempts melody-wise. If you don't believe me, listen to the others. I don't actually suggest that you do that. In fact, I don't suggest that you listen to the entire "performance" below either. However, some people enjoy this sort of thing. So, off we go...
I think you can get to my other songs (once again, not recommending that) by rating the above song. Please be gentle.
Forgive me Roger for I have...well...not exactly sinned...but...
I have a confession to make. I don’t know when things went so horribly wrong in my prefrontal cortex and I especially apologize to Roger. This is hard for me to admit and I beg you for your patience and understanding as I work through this horrible realization.
Okay. Here goes.
I hate John Fogerty’s voice.
Okay. Here goes.
I hate John Fogerty’s voice.
Because I know what God is thinking
We went to Easy's last night for my friend Steve's birthday. I had one of the most delicious hamburgers I have ever eaten with sweet potato fries and the martinis were perfect. Here's a link to the site where you can see the menu in case you're ever out this way.
At one point during the evening, Rosann was telling her hilarious story about her traumatic 12-hour trip to Oklahoma with her 70-ish year old dad and 80-ish year old uncle. On the way home, the uncle made her cry and insisted on driving the rest of the way home banishing Rosann to the backseat. Did I mention that her uncle is 80-something and it was about two in the morning when he took over the wheel?
Rosann: I just kept praying, "God, please just let us make it Kountze. If I just live to see Kountze, I'll be happy."
Laurie: Wow. I bet that got God's attention. I bet he doesn't have many people praying to be lucky enough to get to Kountze.
Everybody: Hahahahaha!
Rosann: (Undaunted by the interruption) When I looked up, we were sitting in the middle of the road...
Steve: Yeah, God probably thought, "Hmmmm, I'll just trade her out with one of these folks praying to get OUT of Kountze."
Everybody: HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
Rosann: ...and my uncle was just sitting there...
She never missed a beat. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure she noticed the little God segueway. In fact, if God had struck Steve and I dead at the table for such blasphemy, I'm pretty sure she would have continued her tale of woe even as they loaded us up and drove us away.
She's supposed to drive those two old coots back up to Oklahoma in a couple of weeks. God, please help her make it to Kountze.
Amen.
At one point during the evening, Rosann was telling her hilarious story about her traumatic 12-hour trip to Oklahoma with her 70-ish year old dad and 80-ish year old uncle. On the way home, the uncle made her cry and insisted on driving the rest of the way home banishing Rosann to the backseat. Did I mention that her uncle is 80-something and it was about two in the morning when he took over the wheel?
Rosann: I just kept praying, "God, please just let us make it Kountze. If I just live to see Kountze, I'll be happy."
Laurie: Wow. I bet that got God's attention. I bet he doesn't have many people praying to be lucky enough to get to Kountze.
Everybody: Hahahahaha!
Rosann: (Undaunted by the interruption) When I looked up, we were sitting in the middle of the road...
Steve: Yeah, God probably thought, "Hmmmm, I'll just trade her out with one of these folks praying to get OUT of Kountze."
Everybody: HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
Rosann: ...and my uncle was just sitting there...
She never missed a beat. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure she noticed the little God segueway. In fact, if God had struck Steve and I dead at the table for such blasphemy, I'm pretty sure she would have continued her tale of woe even as they loaded us up and drove us away.
She's supposed to drive those two old coots back up to Oklahoma in a couple of weeks. God, please help her make it to Kountze.
Amen.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
My Eight New Names
A MySpace bulletin from Michele:
MY REAL NAME:
Laurie
MY DETECTIVE NAME: (my favorite color and my favorite animal)
Aqua Pelican
MY SOAP OPERA NAME: (my middle name and a street I lived on)
Kay Spurlock
MY STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of my last name first 2 letters of my first name)
Andla
MY SUPERHERO NAME: (my second favorite color and my favorite drink)
Lavender Margarita
MY WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (my parents' middle names)
Marie John
MY GOTH NAME: (the color black and the name of one of my pets)
Black Molly
Edited to add:
MY PORN NAME: (the name of one of my pets and either my mother's maiden name or a street I lived on)
Leroy Landry
MY REAL NAME:
Laurie
MY DETECTIVE NAME: (my favorite color and my favorite animal)
Aqua Pelican
MY SOAP OPERA NAME: (my middle name and a street I lived on)
Kay Spurlock
MY STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of my last name first 2 letters of my first name)
Andla
MY SUPERHERO NAME: (my second favorite color and my favorite drink)
Lavender Margarita
MY WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (my parents' middle names)
Marie John
MY GOTH NAME: (the color black and the name of one of my pets)
Black Molly
Edited to add:
MY PORN NAME: (the name of one of my pets and either my mother's maiden name or a street I lived on)
Leroy Landry
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
In Laurie's Brain
- I hate the “Pina Colada Song.” It should be called the “Here’s My Foot Up Your Ass” song.
- Next hurricane evacuation, I’m going Defcon 1 and blatantly ignoring the TX-DOT ban on traveling east or west. I intend to spend my next forced exile sitting in front of a slot machine drinking free Bloody Marys. I will drive either east or west until I’m out of harm’s way. If that means I end up in Atlantic City or Taos, so be it.
- As you all know by now, hurricanes originate as storms on the African continent which then decide to take a nice warm dip in the Atlantic Ocean. Once in the Atlantic, they get a dose of hot saltwater steroids, then come here to kick our coastal asses. If I were the type to lose sleep over things, this satellite image taken this morning would be one of those things that I would lose sleep over.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Again, I ask, "Why are they so surprised?"
I know I've spoken of this already, but I just can't get past the fact that financial analysts are acting so surprised that people who borrowed more mortgage money than they could afford are defaulting on those loans.
When I bought my house four years ago, my realtor and plenty of mortgage companies were more than willing to give me lots more money than I could have ever afforded to pay back on a monthly basis. Since I'm not an idiot, I didn't take them up on those offers. It's kind of like that old saying about mini-skirts and string bikinis, "Just because it comes in your size, doesn't mean you should buy it."
Let me put it this way. My friend Bubba who hasn't had a steady job in three years asks me to borrow $10,000. I give Bubba the $10,000 and tell him he can pay me back at $1,000 per month even though, in a good month, he only brings home about $1,500. Oh, the horror when, six months later it suddenly hits me and Bubba that he can't pay me back. Poor me. Poor Bubba.
Let's see if Momma and Pappa will bail Bubba out. You know what I would say if I was Momma and Pappa? "Hell, no. You're both dumbasses. Figure it out. I'm going to Tahiti with the $10,000 I didn't loan Bubba."
Of course, being the conspiracy theorist that I am, I can't help but think this was all planned from the beginning. I hate financial talk and retirement planning and stock market mumbo jumbo so I have no idea what the conspiracy is. I just know there has to be one.
I blame Geraldo. No reason. I just enjoy blaming Geraldo.
When I bought my house four years ago, my realtor and plenty of mortgage companies were more than willing to give me lots more money than I could have ever afforded to pay back on a monthly basis. Since I'm not an idiot, I didn't take them up on those offers. It's kind of like that old saying about mini-skirts and string bikinis, "Just because it comes in your size, doesn't mean you should buy it."
Let me put it this way. My friend Bubba who hasn't had a steady job in three years asks me to borrow $10,000. I give Bubba the $10,000 and tell him he can pay me back at $1,000 per month even though, in a good month, he only brings home about $1,500. Oh, the horror when, six months later it suddenly hits me and Bubba that he can't pay me back. Poor me. Poor Bubba.
Let's see if Momma and Pappa will bail Bubba out. You know what I would say if I was Momma and Pappa? "Hell, no. You're both dumbasses. Figure it out. I'm going to Tahiti with the $10,000 I didn't loan Bubba."
Of course, being the conspiracy theorist that I am, I can't help but think this was all planned from the beginning. I hate financial talk and retirement planning and stock market mumbo jumbo so I have no idea what the conspiracy is. I just know there has to be one.
I blame Geraldo. No reason. I just enjoy blaming Geraldo.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Who do you share a birthday with?
Do a Google search for your birthday on Wikipedia. You'll also find important events and deaths for that date.
The Magnificent Ava: 7/12
Eric Per Sullivan
Topher Grace
Kristi Yamaguchi
Bill Cosby
Milton Berle
The Fabulous Cory: 11/17
Rock Hudson
Gordon Lightfoot
Martin Scorcese
Danny DeVito
RuPaul
The Amazing Jamie: 10/11
Eleanor Roosevelt
Daryl Hall
Joan Cusack
Luke Perry
Steve Young
The Lovely Laurie: 9/5
Louis VIII of France
Louis XIV of France
Jesse James
Al Stewart
Freddie Mercury
(Laurie = me; Ava = granddaughter; Jamie = daughter-in-law; Cory = son)
The Magnificent Ava: 7/12
Eric Per Sullivan
Topher Grace
Kristi Yamaguchi
Bill Cosby
Milton Berle
The Fabulous Cory: 11/17
Rock Hudson
Gordon Lightfoot
Martin Scorcese
Danny DeVito
RuPaul
The Amazing Jamie: 10/11
Eleanor Roosevelt
Daryl Hall
Joan Cusack
Luke Perry
Steve Young
The Lovely Laurie: 9/5
Louis VIII of France
Louis XIV of France
Jesse James
Al Stewart
Freddie Mercury
(Laurie = me; Ava = granddaughter; Jamie = daughter-in-law; Cory = son)
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Presenting Connie Talbot
Click on the title for more info on Connie. Thanks for forwarding the video to me, Elizabeth.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Mmmmmm...cake
This blog is being temporarily interrupted by my NetFlix addiction. Surely, when the new wears off, I will return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
In the meantime, my friend Carly sent me these pictures of a cake a friend of hers made for her husband (the friend's husband, not Carly's husband) who was celebrating his 60th birthday. The family joke is that his wife is killing him by feeding him junk food all the time, his favorite of which is Sonic.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I'm so embarrassed
Found on LaSirena's blog:
Your Score: Beached whale
You are 46% Heroic!
Coming across a beached whale, you'll join the effort in trying to save it... but it will somehow roll on top of you and crush you. It was a noble effort, but... you died.
| Link: The Heroic Death Test written by xploded_face on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Monday, August 13, 2007
I'll get you for that Ron Carter
A couple of weeks before Ava was born, I went to Houston to visit Cory and Jamie. As I was driving to Chili's to buy lunch, I noticed a billboard from Ron Carter Ford Toyota Jeep that read:
UDEA SURF TAWIN
Odd, I thought. However, I was too hungry to try to figure out what the words meant. Later in the day, when I went out to buy supper (I'm more of a "I'll buy supper" mom/mother-in-law than a "Oh, please, let me cook" mom/mother-in-law), I saw the billboard again.
When I got back to their house, I asked Cory what the sign meant. He said he had noticed the sign but hadn't really thought about it. When I got home to Beaumont, I, of course, Googled it. I thought it might be a new type of car or a car salesman's name. "Hi, I'm Udea Tawin. You can call me Surf." Google turned up nothing.
Several weeks later, I brought my mom, sister and niece to Houston to see Ava. I showed all of them the billboard and we mulled it over and discussed it off and on throughout the day. Eventually, I finally thought to ask my daughter-in-law about the sign.
She said, "Ron Carter puts those billboards up from time to time. The words aren't really words but when you say them out loud, they mean something."
I looked at my sister, Bonnie, and said, "But, it doesn't mean anything...UDEA SURF TAWIN...crap."
"YOU DESERVE TO WIN," shouted Bonnie.
"Sonofabitch," I said, "It's a fucking Mad Gab. You deserve to win?! You deserve to win?! I hate you Ron Carter!! As God is my witness, you'll pay for torturing me for a whole damn month."
Later in the day, as my mom, my niece and I drove to Friendswood to, of course, pick up Chinese food, we passed by Ron Carter's car lot.
"That sonofabitch," I said. "Katie, you know what we're going to do tonight? We're going to buy a bunch of bread and throw it all over Ron Carter's shiny new cars. The birds will come during the night, eat the bread and crap all over his fancy Jeeps and Toyotas and Fords. The birds will eat all the evidence. It's the perfect crime. It's like in that Twilight Zone episode when the lady killed her husband with the leg of lamb then served it to the cops."
Katie and mom laughed. They thought I was kidding.
Just wait, Ron Carter. Your ass is mine.
Mad Gabbing, bastard.
UDEA SURF TAWIN
Odd, I thought. However, I was too hungry to try to figure out what the words meant. Later in the day, when I went out to buy supper (I'm more of a "I'll buy supper" mom/mother-in-law than a "Oh, please, let me cook" mom/mother-in-law), I saw the billboard again.
When I got back to their house, I asked Cory what the sign meant. He said he had noticed the sign but hadn't really thought about it. When I got home to Beaumont, I, of course, Googled it. I thought it might be a new type of car or a car salesman's name. "Hi, I'm Udea Tawin. You can call me Surf." Google turned up nothing.
Several weeks later, I brought my mom, sister and niece to Houston to see Ava. I showed all of them the billboard and we mulled it over and discussed it off and on throughout the day. Eventually, I finally thought to ask my daughter-in-law about the sign.
She said, "Ron Carter puts those billboards up from time to time. The words aren't really words but when you say them out loud, they mean something."
I looked at my sister, Bonnie, and said, "But, it doesn't mean anything...UDEA SURF TAWIN...crap."
"YOU DESERVE TO WIN," shouted Bonnie.
"Sonofabitch," I said, "It's a fucking Mad Gab. You deserve to win?! You deserve to win?! I hate you Ron Carter!! As God is my witness, you'll pay for torturing me for a whole damn month."
Later in the day, as my mom, my niece and I drove to Friendswood to, of course, pick up Chinese food, we passed by Ron Carter's car lot.
"That sonofabitch," I said. "Katie, you know what we're going to do tonight? We're going to buy a bunch of bread and throw it all over Ron Carter's shiny new cars. The birds will come during the night, eat the bread and crap all over his fancy Jeeps and Toyotas and Fords. The birds will eat all the evidence. It's the perfect crime. It's like in that Twilight Zone episode when the lady killed her husband with the leg of lamb then served it to the cops."
Katie and mom laughed. They thought I was kidding.
Just wait, Ron Carter. Your ass is mine.
Mad Gabbing, bastard.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I wouldn't want his job
As I passed by the desk of the woman who reports copier problems to the copier maintenance guy, I heard her say this in a very stern tone:
"Well, I have several ladies here who are having problems with the machine. I will let you talk to each of them."
I suddenly had a vision of irate legal secretaries and paralegals, who had been trying to complete deadline sensitive documents on a Friday afternoon, standing in line by the copier waiting for their turn to tear this guy a new one as he stood meekly listening to each and every complaint.
When she got off the phone, I told her of my vision and she said, "He said he can't come until Monday!"
I said, "Oh, you have to call him back. Tell him you keep a special secret calendar marked with the PMS weeks of each and every woman in the office and Monday isn't looking too good for him."
I once actually worked with a delightful college age male runner for several years who swore he actually had such a calendar. Smart man. I'm sure he made some lucky girl a wonderful husband. I just hope she never catches him pouring over his little cheat sheet at the wrong time of the month. He might find himself eating it with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
"Well, I have several ladies here who are having problems with the machine. I will let you talk to each of them."
I suddenly had a vision of irate legal secretaries and paralegals, who had been trying to complete deadline sensitive documents on a Friday afternoon, standing in line by the copier waiting for their turn to tear this guy a new one as he stood meekly listening to each and every complaint.
When she got off the phone, I told her of my vision and she said, "He said he can't come until Monday!"
I said, "Oh, you have to call him back. Tell him you keep a special secret calendar marked with the PMS weeks of each and every woman in the office and Monday isn't looking too good for him."
I once actually worked with a delightful college age male runner for several years who swore he actually had such a calendar. Smart man. I'm sure he made some lucky girl a wonderful husband. I just hope she never catches him pouring over his little cheat sheet at the wrong time of the month. He might find himself eating it with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Do You NetFlix?
Until very recently, I had successfully avoided joining NetFlix. It seemed silly for me to pay even more money per month for movies than I do now with all my digital cable movie channels and my DVR. Upon the recommendation of a friend, I decided to check it out. Within about five minutes of joining, I was hooked. I've been on NetFlix for about two weeks and have already changed my membership from one at a time, unlimited DVDs per month to two at a time, unlimited DVDs per month.
I've also rated over 1,000 movies and have about 60 or 70 movies in my queue. I rated some of the movies 5 stars not based on quality but based on how much I liked them. For example, I gave The Burbs and Honeymoon in Vegas each 5 stars because I loved them and not because either of them are award-worthy films. The more movies you rate, the better NetFlix becomes in recommending movies for you. This is especially helpful for obscure titles and foreign films which I love discovering.
Click here to become my NetFlix friend and you can see my queue, what movies I have at home and all of my ratings. Oh, and I can see yours, too. I'm a very nosy girl.
I should say that more often
I just told an e-mail friend, "She really gets my goat."
I should say that more often.
It's so much more pleasant than, "She really pisses me off."
Piss is nasty.
Goats are cute.
I hate it when people get my goat.
I should say that more often.
It's so much more pleasant than, "She really pisses me off."
Piss is nasty.
Goats are cute.
I hate it when people get my goat.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
More of the Magnificent Ava - click this title for more pics
"Yeah, right."
"Then, the nurse poked me with a big pointy thing!"
"I'm telling you, it was dark in there. Dark, I say."
Little bitty froggy girl.
Great Maw-Maw Ruby
Great Cousin Katie
Great Aunt Bonnie, Great Cousin Katie and Great Maw-Maw Ruby
The Magnificent Ava with her leather bib made by Miss Peggy.
Who tooted?
To hold you over until tonight
My sister Bonnie took this picture of the Maginificent Ava this weekend. You'll have to wait until tonight to see the rest.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Riddle me this, Batman
Why do mice have such small balls?Very few can dance.
My brother-in-law made up this one (it's a long, funny story for another day):
What do you call ghost farts?
Poltergas
My sister Terry made up this one while we were waiting for Ava to be born (I changed it a little): What do you call a militarized army vehicle filled with disbelievers?
A skeptic tank
My brother-in-law made up this one (it's a long, funny story for another day):
What do you call ghost farts?
Poltergas
My sister Terry made up this one while we were waiting for Ava to be born (I changed it a little): What do you call a militarized army vehicle filled with disbelievers?
A skeptic tank
Thursday, August 02, 2007
"Saki is the happiest drunk I know." Jack
"I thought I was the happiest drunk you know."
Laurie
What has this blog come to? Is it only television talk and YouTube videos and links to other people's funnier and more talented writing? Yeah, maybe.
Tonight, for example, since I'm a little buzzed from some nice warm saki consumed with one of my nicest warmest friends, I give you videos of one of my favorite dirty guys, Mike Rowe, of Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs.
Laurie
What has this blog come to? Is it only television talk and YouTube videos and links to other people's funnier and more talented writing? Yeah, maybe.
Tonight, for example, since I'm a little buzzed from some nice warm saki consumed with one of my nicest warmest friends, I give you videos of one of my favorite dirty guys, Mike Rowe, of Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs.
To my friends in Minneapolis
As with all disasters these days, things are much more personal thanks to internet friendships. My friends in Minneapolis are all okay. I just wanted to publicly say hello to them here and wish them well in the days to come and give my sympathies to the families and friends of those who perished in the bridge collapse.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
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