Saturday, December 16, 2006
I woke up early this morning because I fell asleep on the couch last night while trying to watch March of the Penguins. Evidently, reading foreign subtitles aren't the only thing that puts me to sleep no matter how good the movie is. Morgan Freeman's soothing voice rocked me to sleep like a tiny little baby under my warm feather comforter.
I was supposed to be killing time before meeting my sister out at Crockett Street to join her and some of her work buddies for their Christmas Festivus but Morgan Freeman fucked that up. Since I fell asleep so early, I also woke up early. I tried to stay in bed but that didn't work so I got up around 7:00 a.m and began wandering around the house instead of doing something constructive.
I did a little of this and I did a little of that before sitting at my computer to read some blogs, answer e-mails, play some solitaire, work a Sunday New York Times crossword and just, generally, screw around. That all went to hell when a loud BANGGGGGGGGGGGG shook my whole house at around 8:30 a.m.
"Holy, shit," I thought. "What the hell was that?"
It was too early to call my family to see if they heard anything so I went outside to see if there were any other neighbors outside checking out the scene. ("Checking out the scene" is "groovy talk" to you young folks.) Nobody was outside, so, I could only assume something blew up or fell down inside my townhouse. I cautiously walked back inside.
I went out to the garage and checked the hot water heater and opened my garage door. I checked out the roof, both front and back. No Santa. I was really hoping for Santa.
I came back in the house and opened all my closets expecting, no hoping, to find a fallen shelf because my big fear was that my new air conditioner had blown up in my attic. All of my closets were fine and, after turning on my air conditioner then my heater, that seemed to be fine, too.
So, here I am, three hours later. I still haven't done anything constructive but, my house hasn't burnt down or anything so I consider that a damn good morning.
I watch a lot of movies and television shows about hauntings and when they drive the evil spirits out, sometimes a loud bang is heard. Maybe, when I said my morning prayers today, I finally drove Satan out of here. Now that would be a productive morning.