Aggravation Today...and One From Yesterday!

A woman in the parking lot at Sam's saw me waiting for her parking spot and proceeded to stand at the back of her SUV and FOLD the eight shirts she bought in Sam's (while her daughter walked her basket to the basket holding area) before pulling out of the parking space.  If you've ever parked at Sam's, you know that me leaving to find another good parking place was not an option.  Would a court have convicted me for running over her?  I don't think so.

People in Sam's would not move out of my damn way...including Sam's employees.  When I got aggravated at one point and went around a bunch of people who wouldn't move, a lady actually gave me a dirty look.  I got a dirty look because I didn't want to stand around with a bunch of morons who were dumbfounded about clearing a Sam's aisle traffic jam.  Whatever, rude lady.

After checking out at Sam's, I waited in line (6 people in front of me) to buy a Sam's hot dog (always delicious, by the way...hence my willingness to wait...$1.70 for drink and hot dog) and, when I finally got to the front of the line, I was told they were out of hot dogs.  It was lunch time and they were out of hot dogs.  Makes sense, right?

Since I couldn't get my hot dog, I drove to Kentucky Fried Chicken and was told that I get a drink with my meal.  I ordered lemonade and...guess what...they were out of lemonade.  Since I didn't want anything with caffeine due to my aggravation level being already off the charts, I would have told her to forget about giving me a drink, but I had the feeling that would have blown her mind.  So, she gave me water.

Yesterday afternoon at McDonald's, I ordered Chicken McNuggets.  They asked what sauce I wanted.  I said Sweet and Sour.  When I got to the window, the girl said,  "Sorry, we're out of Sweet and Sour.  I gave you ketchup."  She handed me my bag and returned to taking orders.  Uh.  Thanks?  How about one of the other six choices, lady?  Ketchup?

Also in the last two days, people running stop signs and not using blinkers are trying to kill me.  I'm convinced of it.

I'm not leaving my house again until I have to go to work Monday morning.  Maybe my bad mojo will be gone by then.

Tommy Jordan Video Dad is an Ass

I'm glad this idiot and his daughter made up (according to this update). Almost all of my friends and family think this guy did the right thing. I think his daughter is the way she is, because he is the way he is.

Serve him coffee? Mess up the floor she just cleaned and not apologize or, god forbid, clean it up yourself? Why is she making the bed in the guest room? Who slept there that they can't make up their own damn bed? Ground her for THREE months? He's an ass.

Teach her a lesson about the value of things by destroying a computer?

Her mistake was putting in writing the things that teenagers have said to their friends throughout eternity. I'm sure she'll turn out just fine and she'll raise her kids in the same obnoxious, domineering way that this guy raised her.

Whatever works for them, I guess. It seems to have all worked out fine...until the next outburst...from both of them.

Bastards!

Yesterday, a very good friend of mine (possibly named later, if it's okay with her) went to the church where she works at 4:00 p.m. in a populated area of Beaumont's west end to pop in and out and get something she needed.before running errands for her job.  

While she was inside, someone broke the back window on her car and stole her purse.  She forgot she had the church credit card and, by the time she canceled it, the bastards had charged things in Winnie, Baytown and Houston.  She saw TWO Suburbans leaving the church parking lot when she came out and they went toward the highway.

I'm thankful that the criminals chose my friend randomly and hadn't been watching her waiting for the perfect opportunity to rob her, but I'm also angry that these Houston SOBs are targeting our Beaumont mothers.  The police told my friend that these guys target mothers at day care centers (there is a school and day care at the church), because they know the moms are busy, frazzled, have their hands full and leave their purses in the car.

Saturday night, I prayed that these particular friends would make it home from the big Halloween celebration downtown unscathed.  In my weird brain, I'm picturing The Universe saying, "Okay, safe they shall be Saturday, but Monday we still need that purse."

Thank you God for keeping them safe.  Everybody else, be careful out there and lock your purse in the trunk before you leave work to pick up your kids.

Bastards, who stole the purse...

Karma.

That's all.

Just...karma.

PS: People send out goofy ass e-mails about needles in gas pump hoses and poison on the back of business cards, but nobody forwards e-mails about the real stuff.   Please tell your friends about this.  
 
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If I was a cop...

...I would spend all day searching for assholes who run stop signs.  Then, I would stop the asshole, turn off my cop-car-camera and slap the piss out of him.  Then, I would turn my cop-car-camera back on and give the asshole the largest possible ticket allowed by law.  Then, I would go to court on the day that the asshole tries to tell the judge (a) that he didn't run a stop sign and (b) that I slapped the piss out of him.  Then, I would tell the judge, "Throw the book at the fucker!"

Then, I'd probably have to get another job, but it would be so worth it.


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Jesus is Watching You, Asshole

I was just driving home from seeing a wonderful Rolling Stones tribute band called Satisfaction, which was amazing, by the way, and I danced a lot...people really don't dance enough, you know...but that's not my point. 

My point is that as I was driving home, I came to a spot in the road where the people to my right are supposed to STOP at a stop sign...a STOP sign...before merging onto the road on which I am minding my own business and driving at the posted rate of speed.

Of course, the asshole to my right did not stop at the STOP sign and just drove right on through like he was the king of Phelan Boulevard or something.  He came nowhere near hitting me, but still.  Asshole.

Of course, he accomplished nothing by running the stop sign and ended up right in front of me at the very next stop light.  As I was sitting there staring at the back of his stupid stop-sign-running car, I noticed a Jesus fish on the back of his car. 

A Jesus fish.

On his car.  For the world to see.

Jesus is watching you.

Asshole.


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How many things can go wrong in an hour?

5:10 p.m. Gas pump wouldn't take my debit card.

5:12 p.m. Had to move to another gas pump and it wouldn't take my debit card either.

5:13 p.m. Had to walk to glass attendant cage which totally pissed me off.

5:13 p.m. Rude chick in glass attendant cage took her sweet time counting her money drawer just to piss me off some more.

5:18 p.m. Old lady, her daughter and grandson hogged the cereal aisle and every third aisle I tried to shop on in the grocery store.

5:28p.m. When I was ready to leave, every checkout lane had at least two people with full baskets in line.

5:30 p.m. When I was loading my groceries onto the conveyor belt, I noticed that my bag of Giant Cheetos (which I STILL haven't tasted), had evidently already been opened and taste tested by some jokester and Giant Cheetos spilled onto the conveyor belt.

5:31 p.m. When I handed the bag of opened Cheetos to the cashier and told her that I hadn't opened the bag she asked, "Do you want me to throw them away?"

5:31:05 p.m. I told the cashier WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE, "Well, I don't think anyone's going to want to eat them."

5:31:07 p.m. The cashier didn't see the humor in my statement, acted like it was my fault that she had to put the Cheetos in the throw-away bin and proceeded to carry on a conversation with the bagger guy and to totally ignore me while checking my groceries.

5:41 p.m. My debit card wouldn't work to pay for my groceries.

5:51 p.m. When I got home, construction guys were blocking my driveway. I had to park in front of my house and carry my groceries in through the front door instead of right into my kitchen from the garage all while trying to distract the dog and keep him from running out the front door.

If you lost count, that's twelve.

*!&>!#F*(&U*(&...

It finally happened. The inevitable. I was pulling into my birthday luncheon Saturday and as I was looking for a parking spot to my right, I noticed a car slowly pulling out to my left. I was close enough that she should have seen me and too close for me to backup out of her way, so I blew my horn.

I blew my horn, then blew it again, then laid on the horn for a full four or five seconds. I want you to count five seconds so you can realize how long and loud I blew my horn. Thinking she'd hear me and stop, I didn't shift into reverse to try to move out of her way. BUMP!

Dammit.

Luckily, she also had a Toyota, so it just did a bumper car thing. I pulled into a parking spot. As I walked toward her, she rolled down her passenger side window and SMILED and said, "Did I hurt anything? I was on the phone. "

Then, she smiled again as though by smiling I would then say, "Oh, well, stuff happens. You have a great day, now."

I just glared at her, speechless.

She smiled again and said, "I was on the phone. I really shouldn't do that."

By now, Bonnie had come out of the restaurant because everyone inside had heard my horn blast. Everyone INSIDE the restaurant had heard my horn. Psycho Telephone Driver, however, never heard a thing.

I looked at her and said, "No, you shouldn't do that."

I turned and walked toward Bonnie and said, in a not nice tone, "She was on the PHONE!"

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Psycho Telephone Driver slowed down when she heard me say that to Bonnie. For a moment I thought, "Great, I'm going to get my @$$ kicked at my own birthday party."

Too bad she pulled away. It's fun to think about my whole family driving up and having a nice little Cajun type "conversation" with her about telephones and driving.

FUEL STATIONS OUT OF COMPLIANCE REPORT

Click here for a table showing Texas fuel stations which are out of compliance. (Click here for definitions.)

Hearing Consumer Concerns Commissioner Staples Gives Green Light To Posting Gas Station Violations Online

AUSTIN - With gasoline prices hovering around $3 a gallon, Texas drivers want to make sure they are receiving exactly what they are paying for. Now, keeping an eye on their local gas station is as easy as logging on to the Internet.

Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples announced today the Texas Department of Agriculture is now posting results of gas station inspections on its Web site, so consumers can see which stations around the state failed their recent gas pump inspections.

"The Texas Department of Agriculture is committed to consumer protection. We want Texans to know our inspectors are on the frontlines ensuring they are receiving what they are paying for," Commissioner Staples said. "By visiting the TDA Web site, drivers will have the information they need at their fingertips to know where gas pumps have been found out of compliance."

TDA has 72 weights and measures inspectors throughout the state checking more than 65,000 fuel pumps a year. An inspector will place an "out of order" tag on any pump not dispensing the correct amount of fuel within the allowable tolerance.

The station owner or operator is responsible for having a pump repaired by a service company licensed through TDA before the pump can be further used to sell fuel. A TDA inspector will then place a new seal on the pump after it has been tested and found to be operating properly. TDA recently increased penalties for any fuel pump found out of tolerance in the state. This was the first increase in fines since 1996.

To check out the new online reports go to the Texas Department of Agriculture's Web site at http://www.tda.state.tx.us/ and click on "public information reports." Besides gas pump inspection reports consumers can also review weights and measures enforcement action reports to find out how much gas stations owners had to pay for the out of order violations.

Source: Texas Department of Agriculture

Direct to consumer marketing, oh, how I hate you

I've been home sick for two days. After watching everything in my DVR and all of my NetFlix movies (between naps), I was forced to watch daytime television. I'm not a television snob and, if I didn't have to work all day, I'd surely be addicted to at least three soap operas and The Price is Right.

My problem with daytime television and, more and more, the evening news, is the astonishing amount of direct to consumer advertising done my pharmaceutical companies. I can't prescribe drugs, most of the people I know can't prescribe drugs and I certainly hope that the people who can prescribe drugs aren't doing it based on an ad they saw on television, read in a magazine or heard on the radio.

The thing that disturbs me the most about pharmaceutical ads isn't the long list of worrisome side effects. I actually kind of enjoy those. The most disturbing thing for me and for everyone should be the amount of money spent on those ads which could be spent on research and development and, more importantly, lowering prices to consumers. Here are some stats:

• the United States and New Zealand are the only two countries in the world that allow direct to consumer pharmaceutical advertising; and
• it is estimated that the pharmaceutical companies pay $4 billion annually on direct to consumer marketing. That's billion...with a b.

Click here to send a letter to your congressman and click here to read a better written article by someone who isn't on meds and falling asleep every fifteen minutes.

We take a break from Stingaree posts to nominate an "Asshole of the Year"

Even though we haven't even spoken about Liz and Lincoln, Wrecks Bell, Hayes Carll singing "Katie," Eliza Gilkyson, the Stone Coyotes, The Magpies, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Lucas Hubbard or me "accidentally" ending up backstage, I have to take a short break from my Stingaree posts to nominate an Asshole of the Year. The guy I encountered this afternoon rivals this guy for the title of Asshole of All Time.

I stopped at Kroger after work today to get gas and, as usual it was crowded and every pump had a car in it. I drove around the pumps (there are at least 6 islands of them) until I found a car facing the same direction I would be in for my gas tank to align with the pump. This is what NORMAL people do.

When I pulled into the lot, there was a car (noted as "asshole" on the diagram above) parked so far back from the pumps waiting to get gas that I had to drive on the grass to get around him. After I drove around him, I pulled up behind a car totally forgetting that the asshole was on the opposite side of the lot from me.

When the lady got back from the window after paying for her gas (who doesn't pay at the pump anymore?), I pulled up. "Asshole" started blowing his horn. I looked around and realized he might be blowing at me. I smiled at him thinking, "Surely, not." He scowled at me, began making weird hand gestures with both hands flailing around and screaming! I kept looking at him and HE BEGAN TO DRIVE TOWARD ME!!!!!!!!!! He started spinning his wheels until there was so much smoke around him, I could barely see his car! Everybody in the lot was looking at him...AND LAUGHING AT HIM.

I pulled back and went to another pump. A co-worker happened to be at another pump and she had seen everything. She said everybody on that side of the lot was making fun of the guy and saying that now he not only needs gas, he needs new tires.

My point is, besides pointing out that this guy was a total asshole (who pulls up behind a car going the wrong way to wait for a gas pump?), that I would love for that idiot ignoramus butt-munch spit bucket to actually read this post and know that everybody was laughing at the Big Man and his tire spinning forcing the little girl to move so he could put gas in his car.

Way to go, tough guy.

My Newest Invention

There never seems to be a policeman around when some scary asshole is driving like a maniac swerving in and out of traffic. If I were The Boss of Things:

• Every car would have a bar-code on it's roof.
• Several police units would patrol the town about 50 feet above traffic. (This is the 21st century. Where ARE our flying cars, anyway?)
• When an asshole drives like an asshole, the flying police unit would video the prick then zap the asshole with a bar-code scanner.
• After being zapped by the scanner, a red light on the asshole's dashboard would go on alerting said asshole that he's busted.
• Said asshole would have 30 seconds to pull over and wait for a ground traffic cop to arrive to deal with his dumb ass.

(Can you tell that traffic is pissing me off, lately?)

Again, I ask, "Why are they so surprised?"

I know I've spoken of this already, but I just can't get past the fact that financial analysts are acting so surprised that people who borrowed more mortgage money than they could afford are defaulting on those loans.

When I bought my house four years ago, my realtor and plenty of mortgage companies were more than willing to give me lots more money than I could have ever afforded to pay back on a monthly basis. Since I'm not an idiot, I didn't take them up on those offers. It's kind of like that old saying about mini-skirts and string bikinis, "Just because it comes in your size, doesn't mean you should buy it."

Let me put it this way. My friend Bubba who hasn't had a steady job in three years asks me to borrow $10,000. I give Bubba the $10,000 and tell him he can pay me back at $1,000 per month even though, in a good month, he only brings home about $1,500. Oh, the horror when, six months later it suddenly hits me and Bubba that he can't pay me back. Poor me. Poor Bubba.

Let's see if Momma and Pappa will bail Bubba out. You know what I would say if I was Momma and Pappa? "Hell, no. You're both dumbasses. Figure it out. I'm going to Tahiti with the $10,000 I didn't loan Bubba."

Of course, being the conspiracy theorist that I am, I can't help but think this was all planned from the beginning. I hate financial talk and retirement planning and stock market mumbo jumbo so I have no idea what the conspiracy is. I just know there has to be one.

I blame Geraldo. No reason. I just enjoy blaming Geraldo.

Suspected Dallas Attempted Kidnapper Released

On my way home from work yesterday, I was listening to the news and I heard a story about people driving along the road in Dallas and witnessing a man trying to pull a boy into his car. (Here's the Dallas CBS station's story on it.) Three people stopped and surrounded the guy's car with their cars and waited for police to arrive. The man tried to tell the people that the little boy was lost but the terrified little boy just looked at them shaking his head no. Horrifying.

If that isn't frightening enough, the attempted kidnapper was RELEASED after posting $1,500 bail. He was charged with unlawful restraint. Years ago, I heard a comedian (Seinfeld maybe?) wonder why attempted murderers aren't treated the same as murderers. Just because an attempted murderer was incompetent or a bad shot, they should get a lesser sentence than someone who actually succeeded in killing someone?

Attempted kidnappers and attempted murderers should be put under the jail along with their more competent counterparts. The people who stopped after witnessing the attempted kidnapping risked their lives to rescue this little boy and the sicko is released from jail simply because he's an idiot and attempted to kidnap a child in broad daylight on a busy street?

Unbelievable.

That's Obscene!

Did you know that it’s illegal to possess, promote, or sell obscene material in the State of Texas? Did you also know that, in Texas, obscene material includes all that stuff you can buy at “fun parties?” I’ve been to a couple of those “fun parties.” I used to pretend I was enjoying myself but not anymore. There are some things I just don’t want to know about the sex lives of my family and friends. When I do go to one of those parties, I cower in the corner and pray nobody notices me as they discuss the quality and quantity of their orgasms and pass around devices and creams and some items that look just plain dangerous.

Back to the topic of the Texas definition of obscenity, what a person uses when she is in a self-satisfying sexual state of mind should be between her and Johnny Depp or , if she's in a particularly scary self-satisfying sexual state of mind, between her and Keith Richards. Certainly any accoutrement used between couples of any sexual orientation shouldn’t be under a Texas judge’s jurisdiction unless the judge happens to be part of the proceedings, so to speak

According to a news story yesterday, undercover Beaumont Narcotics and Vice officers went into three local businesses and purchased allegedly obscene items and then presented them to a judge who ruled that they were obscene. I would have liked to have heard the clerk’s conversations when the undercover persons left their shops, “Did you see what that dude bought? He didn’t even look like a freak. He looked like a cop or something.” Or, “Oh, my God! That woman just bought enough dildos to vibrate a small country.”

Sure, I heard that the shops that were raided sell butt plugs and other similarly exotic accessories but, if those items aren’t used at the corner of Dowlen and Phelan or under the clock at Parkdale Mall I don’t see where it’s the business of society at large.

The scariest part to me is, according to Lt. James Clay, Beaumont Police, "Everyone that works there can be charged. The owners can be charged because it's based on possession, promotion and sale. The clerk is responsible for the sale and the owner is responsible for purchasing the items and putting them in the store."

That means all of those arrested, including sales clerks, could be found guilty of violating obscenity laws and could face up to one year in jail and a $4,000 fine. Now, that's obscene.

Puh-lease!

An open letter to all early morning radio personalities and early morning television news people,

I realize that you’ve probably been hitting the coffee pot since about 4:00 a.m. but some of us don’t get our caffeine infusion until somewhere around eight or nine o’clock. If at all possible, could you please limit the outbursts of fake laughter until about 9:30 a.m.?

That would be great.

Thanks.

If only...

No Prison for Vertically Challenged Child Molester

As you have no doubt heard, a judge in Nebraska has given a man convicted of sexually assaulting a thirteen year old girl ten years probation rather than a prison sentence because he is only 5' 1" tall.

The judge felt the man would be too small to survive in prison. Here's a question for you judge. How tall was the child this guy molested? He obviously wasn't concerned about her height, now was he?

Not My Usual Happy Post-Halloween Post

Last night I went out to Crockett Street for Halloween with my sister Terry, her husband Dan and some other friends. We started out at Antones for a Jimmy Buffet tribute band and at about midnight one of the guys and I went out on the street to see what was going on out there. The streets were packed and we watched a little of the costume contest then decided to check out what was going on in the Black Cat. (Here is Wang Chi's version of the night's events.)

We stood in line at the Black Cat for about thirty minutes and got inside at around 12:30 a.m. (I'm guessing). We walked around the club and then found some comfortable chairs near the bar where it wasn't so loud and we could sit and talk. By this point we had quit drinking except for one Shiner Bock and a Smirnoff Ice which we sipped on until closing time which was three hours later due to the time change. For the record (and there might be a need for an official record later), we did each do a test-tube shot from a shot girl not long after we sat down. My point is that, by closing time, we were stone cold sober.

At about 2:15 a.m. the bouncers started herding everyone out down the fire escapes near where we were sitting. Two of the bouncers were doing this in a normal bouncerly kind of way. The other asshole (we shall call him Paul because someone told my friend that is his name) started yelling at people, "Get the fuck out! I'm serious! This is bullshit." There were at least a hundred people going quietly and orderly down the stairs and another hundred or so people still in the club waiting to make their exit. This included my friend and I.

My friend recently fell off his roof during the after hurricane cleanup and cracked a few ribs and vertebrae. There was no point in us standing up and getting in line to go nowhere until the crowds thinned out. At this point Paul the bouncer started yelling, "Get out of the chairs! NOW! Everybody out." I restate the fact that there was nowhere to go. My friend and I stood up at that point and I said to him, "There's nowhere to go until all of those people get out." I'm not sure but I think the bouncer might have heard me. At this point, the bouncer pushed over a chair right in front of us which had a guy sitting in it and started screaming at the guy, "I mean it. GET OUT!". That guy was doing absolutely nothing. He wasn't even looking at the bouncer.

As we watched the poor guy get up off the floor, my friend said to the bouncer, "You're an asshole." The bouncer turned around (he was several inches taller and at least 50 pounds heavier than my friend) and said, "What did you say?" My friend said, "You're an asshole." At this point the bouncer pushed him backward over a chair. He fell straight back and was sort of spread out across two chairs.

All I could think of was his cracked ribs and vertebrae from a few weeks ago and I couldn't move. Another guy who we don't know helped him up and other (friendly) people began pushing us toward the door. I don't know what happened in there after we left and today I wish so badly that I had said something to the bouncer or had found a manager or one of my friends who is a waitress there. I was so afraid that my friend had re-hurt himself that all I could do was walk zombie-like with him down the fire escape with everyone else.

There is no excuse for assaulting innocent people for absolutely no reason. Of all the people we hang out with, my friend and I are by far the most low-key, mild mannered two of the bunch. If this is how this guy acts toward two of the possibly oldest and definitely most sober people in the club, I would hate to see how he treats the difficult customers. A bouncer's job is to keep order, not create more chaos. His acts of violence could have been the catalyst for a barroom brawl which, thank God, didn't occur.

My friend does not want to sue the club although he could. He is considering filing criminal charges and, at the very least, getting that asshole fired which would be in the best interest of the club as well as the general public.

What do you think?

Note:
I'm still really shaken up by this today and I've called my friend several times this morning to see how he's feeling but I keep getting his voicemail. If I hear from him, I'll let you guys know how he's doing and what his decision is regarding the bouncer.

Note 2:
I just received an e-mail from my friend which said, "I'm fine." I'm taking his word for it.

Asshole of the Year Nomination

I don't think it's too early to start making nominations for Asshole of the Year. So, here's my worthy candidate.

We've all been in a parking lot driving around looking for a parking space. On occasion, as soon as you pass up a parked car in a parking space, the owner of the car walks up to the car to leave. If someone is behind you in the parking lot, it's tempting to make that person back up so you can have the parking space, especially if you've been driving around the lot for a while. It's tempting but normal people just keep driving and curse the luck.

One evening several months ago at Crockett Street, I was driving around looking for a parking space. Keep in mind I was a woman, at night, driving around looking for a parking spot. I had driven around about four times when I saw someone walking to their car. I sat and waited and, sure enough, they got into a car in a space right beside me so I backed up and waited for them to leave.

As I was sitting there, I noticed a guy in a big black pickup truck which HAD ALREADY TURNED THE CORNER at the end of the parking lot turn around and look at me and begin to back up. I thought, "Oh, no he isn't." But, oh, yes, he was. He backed up the whole half length of the parking lot and hit the front of my car.

You might ask, "Why didn't you back up so he wouldn't hit you?" I didn't back up because I knew the asshole saw me and I thought he was just going to back up and see if he could make me back up and give him the space. I couldn't believe that a man would force a woman to back up in a dark parking lot to give him a parking space especially after he had already driven so far past the space.

There were a few people in the parking lot so I felt safe getting out of my car to confront the son-of-a-bitch. When I got out of my car, he actually looked at me and said, "I thought you were going to back up." Asshole Point Number 1: He definitely saw me. Then, he said, "That's a new truck." Asshole Point Number 2: Who gives a fuck?! YOU HIT ME!

I looked at him and said, "New truck?! This is a new car!!! YOU hit ME!" He backed off and said, "Do you want my insurance?" (No, asshole, I want your mamma's crabcake recipe.) I glared at him with my best Don't-Fuck-With-Me-Stare (of which some of you are familiar) and he meekly walked back to his truck and got his insurance information. I followed him to his truck and noticed there was a woman in the front seat of the truck. She wouldn't even look at me. I would love to know what happened to that date. I wanted so bad to say something to her about the prick she was with but I knew that if she was married or dating this asswipe, she had enough problems.

He asked for my insurance information and I, basically, told him to kiss my ass because I wasn't about to let him pin this on me by saying I had hit him since all of the witnesses had scattered to the four winds. He, once again, backed off and his insurance company took care of everything and my car was repaired within two days.

If you've encountered an asshole this year that can top this one, you have my deepest sympathies.

Follow-up on Mean Doctor Office Receptionist

Many, many years ago, I worked as a receptionist in an ophthalmologist's office. Doctor's office receptionist has to be one of the worst jobs in the world. I was always blamed by patients when the doctor was overbooked but I was also constantly under pressure to work in so-called emergencies which weren't emergencies at all. Ninety-nine percent of the patients were nice but it would only take one asshole to ruin my whole day. On top of that, the doctor wasn't a particularly nice guy so that didn't help matters at all.

This is the phone conversation I had with the rude receptionist Monday morning (see post right before this one):

Me: This is Laurie Anderson. I have an appointment at 12:45 p.m. today and I want to be sure that you got my blood work for my cholesterol levels before I come in.

Receptionist: I don't know.

Me: (Hestitation, because I can't believe what I just heard but I SWEAR I wasn't rude...) Would you like me to hold while you check my chart?

Receptionist: We're very busy right now. (No hesitation on her part and she WAS rude.)

Me: Would you like my phone number so you can check and call me back?

Receptionist: We're way too busy right now.

Me: (Trying to maintain my rapidly depleting dignity...) Okay. I guess I'll see you at 12:45. (How's that for a snappy comeback?)

In the meantime, I called the lab to be sure the blood work had been sent over because, the whole purpose of my call was to avoid (a) spending $40 for a useless doctor office visit and (b) leaving work on such a busy day.

My dilemma was whether or not to say something to the doctor or to his office manager when I got there. I decided to clean up any lingering bad karma I might still have from my doctor office receptionist days when I'm sure I was rude to an occasional patient. When I got to the doctor's office, I noticed everyone was being extremely nice to me. It's a very small office and I'm sure they overheard the earlier telephone exchange. The nurse even gave me some Lipitor samples which has never happened to me before.

When I was leaving, the rude girl made a big display out of how busy she was but with big, fake, cheerful exasperation. I wanted to punch her in the neck but I guess all's well that ends well. I sure hope I made some karma points on this one today and I hope that receptionist finds her true calling before someone yanks all her hair out by the roots. Not that I'm still dwelling on this or anything.