My newest guilty pleasure

At least once a week, someone rushes into the elevator while deep in conversation on their cell phone.

They continue to talk...loudly.

They suddenly realize they haven't pushed their floor button.

They frantically lean over everybody trying to reach the button for their floor.

On a really good day...for me...they miss.

Bwahahahah!

Another Guilty Pleasure (Like I Need Another One)

There is a new show on VH-1 called Celebrity Paranormal Project. This is a reality show in which celebrities and semi-celebrities are sent to areas with a reputation for having paranormal activity.

I somehow missed the first episode which included Gary Busey, Hal Sparks, Survivor winner Jenna Morasca, Toccara from America's Next Top Model, and Baywatch original Donna d'Errico. I can't wait to catch a replay of that one. Hal Sparks is hilarious and Gary Busey is a celebrity abnormal project unto himself.

The next episode features Mariel Hemingway, Joe Piscopo, gold-medalist Picabo Street, The Real World's Tonya Cooley, and Baywatch's Michael Bergin. I've always liked Joe Piscopo so I'm looking forward to that one.

The episode I did see was great. It had Rachel Hunter, comedian Godfrey, Baywatch's Traci Bingham, workout video guru Tony Little, and Survivor winner Ethan Zohn. The only two team members I was familiar with were Rachel Hunter and Tony Little. Rachel Hunter was doing her best to keep the other guys under control but having no success.

Godfrey actually left her alone at one point because he freaked out. Ethan Zohn wanted to go with Rachel on a "mission" so he might get to comfort her if she got scared. Sorry, Ethan. Rachel was one cool cucumber while Traci Bingham lost her shit on a regular basis. Tony Little did fine as did Ethan.

I thought it was unfair of the cameras to show Tony, more than once, applying makeup. In his defense, he was tied up in a straight jacket at one point and sweating bullets. He needed a little touchup. My guess is that he applied makeup once after the straight jacket incident and the show was edited to make him look like a diva. Granted, the guy is a little hyper for my taste, but a little queer eye for the exercise guy isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Bridezilla!

My newest guilty pleasure is Bridezilla. This show follows a bad-tempered bride around in the weeks before her wedding. The groom is usually around peripherally but, he is seldom around when his future wife is losing her shit.

Here's my advice to the future husband of a bridezilla. Ask to see the video that is shot each day. No, change that. Demand to see the video that is shot each day. If you still marry her, you deserve every hellacious moment of your new marriage.

Watching the bride and everyone around her go nuclear is endlessly entertaining. It's especially easy to enjoy the freak-outs because, as the show goes along, we are informed of the obscene amounts of money being spent on the wedding extravaganza. These people are out of their ever loving minds.

The one I watched tonight spent $70,000 on her wedding. She had to take a second mortgage out on her house. Each episode follows two brides with one wedding shown to completion and the other carried over to the next episode. Clever devils. The bride next week is 40% over budget with a predicted grand total of $110,000. I can't wait to see that bitch lose her shit.

I mean, bless her heart.

(WE Channel - Sunday 9:00 p.m. CT)

The Mighty Boosh

I love it and I don't know why. (You can watch it on BBC America if you live on the wrong side of the pond.)

More Guilty Pleasures

Last month, I posted some guilty pleasures. I have collected another gaggle of guilt.

Food and Drink
Starbucks Caramel Macchiato
Snickers
Mardi Gras King Cake
Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls
Monte Cristo sandwich (Battered and deep fried ham and cheese sandwich served with raspberry jam and french fries)

Music - Performers
Axl Rose
Slash
Tommy Lee
Beastie Boys
Wham
Boy George
Spandau Ballet
Meatloaf (the singer, not the food)
Dr. Hook
Captain and Tenille
Monkees
Hanson
Glen Campbell

Music - Songs
Muskrat Love
Who Let the Dogs Out?
These Boots Are Made For Walkin'
Harper Valley PTA

Video Games (based on cumulative hours of my life wasted)Tetris
Diner Dash
Civilization
Collapse
Sims (actually Sim anything)

At the Movies
Bad science fiction movies made before 1960
Kung Fu movies
1970’s cop movies
My Name is Nobody movies
Bruce Willis in Moonlighting
Tom Hanks in Bachelor Party
Bruce Willis in Blind Date
Tom Hanks in The Money Pit

Another Confession

I have another confession. I miss the Macarena.

Last Page of This Year's Work Desk Calendar

Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

English subtitle in a Hong Kong kung-fu movie


(By the way, Kung-Fu movies are another guilty pleasure.)

Hey, Hey, We're the Friends or I'll Be There for the Monkees

I was listening to the Monkees (another guilty pleasure, by the way) today on XM and it struck me that Mickey of the Monkees and Chandler of Friends had similar personalities. Taking it a step further, Ross and Mike were both the tall intelligent type while Davey and Joey were the heartthrobs. No Peter you say? You would be wrong. Phoebe fit the sweet flighty slot filled by Peter. Rachel and Monica represented every cutesy chick that the Monkees ever fell in love with. The Friends theme song is even kind of Monkee-ish.

To recap:Ross = Mike
Chandler = Mickey
Joey = Davey
Phoebe = Peter
Rachel/Monica = 1960’s hippie chicks
I’ll Be There For You = I’m a Believer

Twelve Guilty Pleasures (x 4)

I started creating a list of my guilty pleasures because I was going to do a Twelve Guilty Pleasures of Laurie post in the vein of The Twelve Days of Christmas. However, I soon discovered that I couldn’t narrow my guilty pleasures down to just twelve. I had so many, in fact, that I had to break them down into separate categories.

The things listed below aren’t necessarily my favorite things, which I proudly and unapologetically love, although, in some cases, they are. These are things that I like but feel guilty about enjoying so much. In some cases, I might feel guilty because they’re silly or goofy or crude but, in spite of myself, I love them anyway. In other cases, it’s the sappiness or the calorie count that inspires the pangs of guilt.

So, here you have it, the first version of my guilty pleasures lists. I’m sure there’ll be more to come.

Music
Barry Manilow
Any American Idol Contestant
Keith Partridge
Tom Jones
The Carpenters
Kid Rock
Justin Timberlake
Tribute Bands
Cher
Queen
REO Speedwagon
Disco

Food
Double Stuff Oreos
Pecan Pralines and Cream Ice Cream
Pecan Pralines
Pecan Pie
Chocolate Fudge…with pecans
Glazed Donuts
Chicken Fried Steak with Gravy and French Fries
Cinnamon Rolls
Bread Pudding
Butterfinger Blizzards
Banana Pudding
Lucky Dogs

Movies
Honeymoon in Vegas
Love Actually
So I Married an Axe Murderer
Stakeout
Forget Paris
Waterboy
Funny Farm
Raising Arizona
Old melodramas like A Summer Place and Where The Boys Are
Popeye (the one with Robin Williams)
Reservoir Dogs
Valley Girl

Television
American Idol
Most Haunted
Miami Vice
Green Acres
Married…With Children
Beavis & Butthead
South Park
Beverly Hillbillies
G-String Divas
Taxicab Confessions
Autopsy
Real Sex

Guilty Pleasure

My latest guilty pleasure is the Butterfinger Crisp. My brother works for M&M Mars which makes wonderful, wonderful, marvelous candies and snack foods. Hence, the guilt.

When he worked for Pepsi, we caught hell if he saw us with a Dr. Pepper or, God forbid, a Coke. Next he worked for Budweiser. No problem there.

Now he works for M&M, so it's easier to stay loyal than when he worked for Pepsi but, oh my God, this Butterfinger Crisp thing is just the devil in disguise. I love you Stu-bee but heaven help me, I can't resist the delicious Butterfinger taste without those hard crumbly parts that either stick in your teeth or fall all over the place.

I promise to make it up to you. How about a beautiful shirt from Margaritaville in Las Vegas for your birthday, Sunday? Oh, wait. I already did that. Happy Birthday, brother man!