Wednesday, August 31, 2005

New Orleans Audobon Zoo

Here's the latest I can find on the Audobon Zoo in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.

New Orleans - Tell Me Something Good

The local newspaper called and interviewed me yesterday after someone there found my blog. One of the questions I was asked was, "Will you return?" I told her that, of course, we will return and the sooner the better.

We have gone to New Orleans in an ice storm (much to my mother's chagrin), one day after a near-miss by a hurricane and in the face of looming job and family responsibilities. However, we always kept the faith and have never canceled a trip. We shall return.

Our next trip is planned for March and, by God, we'll be there. We shall do our part by spending tons of money, eating obscene amounts of food and drinking inappropriate amounts of liquor. It's our duty and we shall endeavor to restore the economy of New Orleans to the best of our cumulative abilities.

New Orleans Cross-Section

This graphic is from a New Orleans blog by way of Wang Chi. I think Wang would make a great newspaper man, don't you?


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Hurricane Katrina and the Audobon Zoo

My stat counter tells me a lot of people are worried about the zoo in New Orleans. I have no news on that but as soon as I do, I'll post something. I do know that the zoo and Audobon Park are near the Garden District which is one of the areas that, as of tonight, hasn't flooded.

You probably already have this link if you're concerned about the zoo and the aquarium but here it is anyway.

More New Orleans News and Links

Here's another good link from Wang Chi to a French Quarter message board.

A quote from Ron White for all the news people who feel they just have to be out there in the wind to report on the storm: It's not that the wind is blowing, it's what the wind is blowing.

This is a good site for minute-by-minute updates.

Some strangeness that I've read on various newspaper and television station websites throughout the day:

  • In one neighborhood, smoke alarms in almost every house started going off all at the same time. They blamed it on batteries. I've had my own experiences with smoke alarms and strange ghostly happenings. I'm not saying the smoke alarm thing had a spiritual connection but we are talking about New Orleans.
  • A small two-story out-building in the French Quarter collapsed and the lady who was inside, walked out unharmed.
  • The life-size statue of Jesus in the courtyard behind St. Louis Cathedral still stands between two fallen oak trees with only damage to the fingers on one of the hands of his outstretched arms.
  • The French Quarter and The Garden District are two of the very few areas of the city that are not under water.

Some strangeness that happened to me when I got to my office building this morning:

  • As I walked into the elevator, a young girl walked in behind me and I hit the button to the 8th floor. I am on the 5th floor. I've worked in this building for five years and I have never hit the 8th floor button by mistake. I looked at the girl on the elevator with me and apologized as I pushed the 5th floor button. I noticed the girl didn't push a button and I asked her, "Are you going to the 8th floor?" She looked at me and gave me a very odd little smile and simply said, "Yes." It was very Touched By An Angel-ish.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Okay, Just One More Post-Hurricane Post






Thanks to Wang Chi for the link to this article.

(All this talk of Hurricanes is making me thirsty.)

One Last Hurricane Post

This morning, one of my co-workers came into my office and told me that her sister called and one of the levees in New Orleans had burst. She said the French Quarter was flooded up to the second story of all of the buildings. I immediately got online and found out this wasn't true. It turned out that her sister was in another room from her television and had misheard the news.

For that brief two or three minutes until I was sure it wasn't true, a movie ran through my mind of those beautiful townhouses and antique stores under water, Cafe DuMonde under water, Margaritaville under water, St. Louis Cathedral partially submerged. After that visual in my mind's eye, the news that there was minor flooding in the French Quarter and maybe a building or two down left me with an odd and totally inappropriate feeling of relief, especially in light of what was happening in Mississippi and Alabama.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Live Television Feed From New Orleans

This is the link to a New Orleans television station which has a link to a live feed. They are broadcasting from Baton Rouge.

This is a link to NOLA Live with has links to other television stations, live cameras (some of which are down, of course) and the New Orleans newspaper, the Times Picayune.

Shep Smith - Fox News Live on Bourbon Street

I just heard Shep Smith of Fox News ask a guy on Bourbon Street why he hadn't evacuated and the guy said, and I quote, "None of your fucking business." It was live so Fox didn't have time to bleep it.

According to Shep, hundreds of people are still drinking and partying on Bourbon Street. Of course, this is very stupid. However, but for the grace of God, my little group of crazies might have well been there this weekend telling Shep Smith to fuck off. My birthday is next weekend and going to New Orleans to celebrate my 50th birthday was definitely a consideration early on. It's where I spent my 40th birthday and a wonderful trip it was. So, we would have either been there this weekend or next weekend. I fear that next weekend in The Quarter will be quite sad indeed.

On a side note, I hate Fox News. They are an alarmist bunch of idiots. There was a weather guy on there a short while ago who was being very practical stating all of the facts in a very rational manner. I thought, "How odd," and I actually looked to see what channel I was watching. Sure enough, when he tossed it back to the anchor, she asked the weather guy, and I swear this is what she asked, if it wasn't true that all of the bodies buried above ground will float around the city after the storm carrying horrible disease? And, also, wouldn't there be a rabies epidemic from all of the animals, raccoons and such, that live in the wooded areas that surround the city?

Did I mention that I hate Fox News?

The Big Un-Easy


I am literally sick about Hurricane Katrina headed toward New Orleans. I'm worried about the people and their homes and the animals on the streets, my sister Terry is worried about the animals in the zoo, but I'm also horribly worried about the city itself.

There are some cities that are more than just a geographical location or an arbitrarily drawn political region on a map. New Orleans has a history, a personality and a spirit that makes it so much more than just a place. New Orleans is a feeling which embeds itself in your very soul. There's the food, the music, the people and that wonderful feeling of freedom and peace that comes from being someplace that has been the part of so many meaningful memories and unbelievably good times. My son and his wife got engaged there on one of our trips. Need I say more?

I can't even turn the television on this morning because I can't bear to listen to what The Weather Channel is predicting. I'm going to Spec's right now to buy the liquor for my big Surprise Luau 50th Birthday Party next weekend. I guess I'll have to buy an extra bottle of something to toast New Orleans as I watch the news tonight.

Cajun Quiz - Pass It On


Crawfish:

1. What do you like to drink at your crawfish boils?
I know it's sacrilege not to drink beer at a crawfish boil but liquor slows me down. I drink Dr. Pepper with an Excedrin chaser.

2. Do you suck heads?
We're still talking about crawfish? No.

3. Would you make out with someone just after eating boiled crawfish?
Oh, hell yeah! I once told my friends I wasn't going to shower before going out after attending a crawfish boil because that's the kind of man I want to attract.

4. Which one of your friends would be the first to be invited to your crawfish boil?
One? Inconceivable! Blasphemy!

5. Which one of your friends would you trust enough to boil your crawfish?
Now, that's a different story. My brother-in-law, Dan is number one. My son, Cory, and my friend, Clay, are in training.




Outdoors:

1. Have you ever been muddin on a three or four wheeler atv?
Nope. I tend to break things...like on my body.

2. Have you ever been crabbing?
Once again, a big hell yeah! I haven't been in ages though.

3. Would you ever ride naked on an ATV down the levee?
It would depend on the company, how dark it was and whether or not tequila was involved.

4. Have you ever done the nasty in the middle of a sugar cane field?
Can't say that I have.

5. Have you ever gotten mosquito bites from outdoor sex?
Depends on what you consider sex and depends on what you consider outdoors.



Music:

1. Swamp pop, Zydeco, or Cajun music...which is your favorite?
Zydeco but Cajun dance music is a very close second.

2. Have you ever been to a Wayne Toups show?
Mais, oui!

3. Have you ever danced to the song "Matilda"?
My very first slow dance with one of my brother's football coaches, "Moose" Lee, was to "Matilda." I was about 11 years old. I still love that song.

4. Who is your favorite Zydeco performer?
Rockin' Doopsie

5. Favorite Wayne Toups song?
I can't think of the name of it but I know it when I hear it. Something about cornbread.




Family:

1. Who's ya daddy?
Harold "Red" Ransonette, Jr.

2. Where ya momma from?
Catahoula, Louisiana

3. Any of your cousins married to one another?
My grandmother and grandfather on my daddy's side were second cousins. If you know my family, that explains a lot.

4. Would you do one of your cousins?
What kind of quiz is this!?
Yes.
(I'M KIDDING, MOTHER!)

5. Are you a parrin or nanny?
Yes, Elliott (or maybe it's Alec...hmmmm).



Love and Marriage:

1. Have you ever pinned money on a bride at a wedding reception?
Absolutely! Most of them couldn't afford the honeymoon without it.

2. Ever gotten drunk on Budlight at a reception?
Don't like beer. (I sure hated to answer "no" to that one.)

3. Ever called your significant other "Cher" or "boo"?
Definitely cher (pronounced "sha" - "a" as in hat - by the way).

My uncle Henry has called my Aunt Bernice "boo" for as long as I can remember. He also calls me "Lo-Lo" and I don't really know why. An aunt on the other side of the family (who didn't even know Uncle Henry) also called me "Lo-Lo". I still don't' know where that came from.

You know what? I just decided that if I ever write a book, that shall be my pen name: Lo-Lo LaRue. Cool.

4. Last name of the first Cajun you ever made out with?
Boneau

5.Last name of the last Cajun you made out with?
Fontenot



General:

1. Know any Boudreaux or Thibodeaux?
Is that a trick question? I'm from Port Arthur, remember?

2. Know anyone named "T-Boy"?
My first crush was on a boy named T-Joe Gauthier. He played saxaphone in the band in elementary school and I played clarinet. It was true love in the junior woodwinds section.

3. What is your favorite festival?
Festival Internationale in Lafayette, Louisiana. Bands play from countries all over the world, mostly from countries with some sort of connection to France. (You thought I was going to say Mardi Gras or something in New Orleans didn't you?)

4. Name the nearest bayou next to you.
Hillebrandt Bayou. Had some good times there!

5. Where do you get your favorite boudin?
Nicks in Port Arthur will always be my favorite.


Alright all you Cajuns, pass it on.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

New York Italian Comes to Beaumont



New York Pizza & Pasta
4405 Calder Avenue
Beaumont, Texas 77705
409.892.6535
(Located in the same shopping center as The Joy Shop and Seafood Lover)

Last weekend we ate at Frankie's and in my post about the evening, I mentioned that there were two other recently opened Italian restaurants in Beaumont rumored to be run by brothers and cousins of the same Italian New York family which have relocated to Beaumont.

Today, I finally tried the pizza at one of the other restaurants I mentioned and sort of got the scoop on the family connection. According to our waitress, New York Pizza and Pasta, is run by two brothers and a cousin who used to own Joe's out by the mall. The two brothers and a cousin are related to Frankie of Frankie's but she never really elaborated as to how they are related.

None of that is important. What is important is that the pizza was the best I have ever eaten. The crust was thin and crispy but not dry. My slice was so full of toppings that I really can't rate the sauce but the toppings and cheese were fresh and perfectly seasoned (although I added a little garlic powder which is conveniently placed on each table. How cool is that?).

The menu is much smaller than Frankie's menu but contains all of the highlights of the Frankie's menu. The ambiance is early Dairy Queen but, here's the kicker, there is a really cute patio facing the wooded estate across Calder Avenue and you can bring your own beer and wine. I can't wait until it gets a little cooler and we can enjoy an evening on that patio watching the world rush by while enjoying a nice bottle (or two) of wine and eating some first rate pizza and pasta.


86 Rules of Boozing

You must click on this link. It gives you the 86 Rules of Boozing. Very informative.

Sleepybomb is one of my blogging friends who lives out in Reno. He is originally from New Orleans and his blog is a wonderland of music information. He is a musician and his father, grandfather and uncle were The Dukes of Dixieland. I'm not sure but I think my dad had some old 78's of them that we used to listen to when I was very little. I remember sitting on dad's lap at the dining room table and listening to Tiger Rag. That was my favorite.

This link is to one of Sleepybomb's posts which is a tribute to his dad.

Friday, August 26, 2005

How You Know Your Girlfriend is Cheating (click on the pic for a better view)

Sino...Synu...Cinno...Words that Mean the Same Thing

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
Burt Bacharach

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Take That, President of Venezuela!


Pat Robertson, obviously, didn't think things through before he made his assassination comments regarding Venezuela's president. As I see it, the biggest flaw in his thinking, if you can call it that, is that he has now pissed off a man who has a militia and probably guerrillas and heaven knows what all to protect him from the likes of Pat Robertson.

My guess is that Pat Robertson probably carries around a can of mace and maybe some nunchuks, but that's about it. If Venezuela wants to jack with him, it's gonna be a short fight.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The (Lazy) Birds



I stopped at Kroger on my way home from work today. After I loaded my groceries in the trunk of my car, I walked to the front of the car and got in. As I was putting on my seat belt, I looked up and noticed a bird land on the hood of my car right next to my windshield. He seemed to be staring right at me.

"Oh, well," I absentmindedly thought. "When I start the engine, he'll fly away."

But, that didn't happen. When I started the engine, he hopped to a spot right in front of me and just stared at me with his mouth open. I tapped the window and he still just looked at me and kind of cocked his head.

Weird ass bird.

We stared at each other for about thirty seconds and he finally flew off of my car. As I was starting to back out, I looked in my rear view mirror and there was that damn bird sitting on the bed cover of a pickup truck as the truck drove behind me and out of the parking lot. I guess I wasn't moving fast enough for him.

Weird ass bird.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Some Nice Quotes

  • I walked a mile with pleasure; she chatted all the way, but left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with sorrow and never a word said she but oh the lessons that I learned when sorrow walked with me. Author unknown
  • The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. John F. Kennedy
  • Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, 'Make me feel important.' Mary Kay Ash
  • Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open. Alexander Graham Bell
And one funny quote off of a t-shirt:
  • I gave that man the thinnest years of my life.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Schizo Mommies


School has started and all around me, the phenomenon of the Schizo Mom Syndrome has begun. Every afternoon at around 3:30 p.m. the mommies receive phone calls from their adorable offspring who have just arrived home from a hard day at school. Per instructions from their loving mom, they make the obligatory, "Hi, mom. I'm home," phone call.

The conversations that I can't help but overhear every afternoon start out all sugar and spice and everything oh so nice.

"Hello, honey."

"Hi, baby."

"Hey, sweetie. How was your day?"

Then, invariably, things take a sharp turn to the dark side.

"Now, sweetie, we spoke about that."

"No, mommie told you..."

"I..."

"NO!! NO PIZZA!!! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU COOKED!!!! YOU NEARLY BURNT DOWN THE DAMN HOUSE! WHO IS OVER THERE? DO I HEAR THAT HORRIBLE BOUDREAUX BOY?! YOU BETTER GET ALL THOSE KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND......"

"He hung up on me. The little bastard hung up on me! I'm gonna kill him!"



There is no cure for Schizo Mom Syndrome. With every fiber of her being and with the naivete of Alice Through the Looking Glass, the Schizo Mom starts every phone call every afternoon with the false hope that this time, just this once, it will be different. On the rare occasions that the phone call does not end in a screaming match, the Schizo Mom is left wondering what catastrophe awaits when she gets home.

Those two short hours from 3:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. are fraught with peril. My son called me religiously every afternoon as soon as he got home from school. I had a fairly quiet kid who was pretty laid back so I didn't suffer from Schizo Mom Syndrome. However, in those two hours, Cory once broke his arm so badly it required surgery and once got hit in the head with a golf club requiring three stitches.

The golf club story is actually kind of funny. Cory was twelve or thirteen at the time. I got home from work and was met at the door by one of Cory's friends. The first words out of the friend's mouth was, "Ms. Anderson, don't panic." Cory came around the corner from the bathroom with a bloody towel on his head. When he removed the towel, I could see skull. It turns out he got in the way of the other kid's back-swing while they were practicing in the back yard.

When he broke his arm, he calmly called me at the office, asked for "Laurie Anderson, please," and when I answered he said, "Mom, I think I broke my arm." When I got home, he was on the neighbor's front porch (he didn't want to go inside), pale as a ghost (as was his friend's mom) with his arm freakishly twisted practically completely backward. Ah, good times. Good times.

So, moms, this margarita's for you. Good luck. You're going to need it.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

What Book Are You?

I got this quiz from So-Cal Mom. Which book are you?





You're Siddhartha!

by Hermann Hesse

You simply don't know what to believe, but you're willing to try anything once. Western values, Eastern values, hedonism and minimalism, you've spent some time in every camp. But you still don't have any idea what camp you belong in. This makes you an individualist of the highest order, but also really lonely. It's time to chill out under a tree. And realize that at least you believe in fairies.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Italian Food and Cam Pyle Band

Frankie's Italian Grill
105 IH-10 North
Beaumont, Texas 77707
409.835.9200
(Between Bennigan's and Chili's)

Another fun Saturday night in Beaumont. First we went to Frankie's for Italian food then we went to Antone's to watch the Cam Pyle Band. Check out Wang Chi's blog for his usual in depth and informative review.

Since I'm leaving the music review to Wang Chi, I'll take the food review. Frankie's is a new Italian food restaurant in town. I have no problem with the usual Italian food restaurant chains (Olive Garden, Carrabba's, Johnny Carino's) but there's nothing like Italian food that really tastes homemade. Frankie's is a local restaurant and the story goes that three brothers have come to Beaumont from New York and each of them has opened his own restaurant. I don't know if that's true or not but I like the sound of it. I haven't tried the other two restaurants; but, I hear they're quite good also. One of them is on my way home and I hear it sells pizza by the slice. Guess what I'm getting for supper Monday on my way home from work.

The various dishes we tried tonight were Chicken Piccata, Chicken Marsala, Chicken Cacciatore and Spaghetti with Italian Sausage and every one of them was delicious. I had the house Italian dressing on my salad which was a light tomato vinaigrette and it was fantastic. The Italian sausage was flavorful and spicy with just enough fennel to add bite without overpowering the other seasonings in the sausage. I had the Chicken Piccata which was fork tender with a fabulous tangy caper laden sauce but I have to say my favorite spoonful was a taste from the plate of one of my co-diner's Chicken Marsala.

I can't wait to go back and try something else off of the huge menu. We were so full, we didn't try dessert and I meant to get a coffee and forgot. I'll let you know how the pizza was Monday night.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

You Learn Something New Every Day


Years ago, we were sitting around watching something on television when a commercial came on for a ladies’ hair removal product. It was the one where several girls danced around on the beach and by the pool and in the bathroom while the song “Who Wears Short Shorts?” played in the background. My uncle said, “That girl is so skinny, if she farts, she’ll go up like a rocket.” This began a conversation about farts in general and someone (I think it was my uncle again) wondered aloud why farts smell so bad in the shower. That was many years ago, way before the internet; so, all we could do was wonder.

This morning, the question occurred to me again. It isn’t important to you why the question arose. It just arose, so to speak. Now, thanks to Al Gore, we have the internet and the ability to immediately find out anything we’ve ever wanted to know about farts and farting. The answer to the shower question has something to do with the heat and humidity in the shower as well as the confined area. Go ahead. Click on the link. You know you want to.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

More Alligator News

I have been accused of being obsessed with alligators. Now, I have an even better reason for my alleged obsession. It turns out they could be a wonderful new source of collagen. Collagen is the stuff that I'm going to have injected into every wrinkle I have as soon as it's affordable. Somebody out there needs to get on that alligator/collagen thing right away. You aren't getting any younger you know.

Another Child Actor Gone Bad

Another child actor has gone bad. Skylar Deleon, used to be a Power Ranger or something. He and his wife allegedly forced a couple to sign over their yacht and sign a power of attorney then tied them to the anchor of the yacht and threw them overboard.

This guy makes Dana Plato and Todd Bridges sound like Buffy and Jody.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

This is Weird

If she gets stuck, nudge her with your mouse. (If that doesn't make you click the link, I don't know what will.)

Monday, August 15, 2005

U. S. Indie Expo Exposed

I originally posted about the U. S. Indie Expo, which was supposed to be held here in Beaumont, a few weeks ago. It sounded too good to be true and it was. A local publication, The Examiner, has done a lot of research into the event and it makes for interesting reading. Word should be spread about Cathouse Records. These people sound like trouble to me.

The Examiner Cover

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Stop Alien Abductions


I think this guy is serious about this. If you're having problems with being abducted by aliens, it couldn't hurt to make yourself one of these little hats. Click on the link for instructions and other links.

May the force be with you. Oh, I guess the force being with you is the problem, isn't it? Just make the hat.

Friday Night Standup (Two Days Late) - A. Whitney Brown


I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

My Grandmother told me that there was a passage in the bible that says, "It is better to spill your seed in the belly of a whore, than to spill it on the ground." So, I tried both. And the bible's right! It's way better. That's one of the reasons they call it the good book.

Waterboarding -- that's what America does to its prisoners now. Dunking them in water until they confess. Of course, you have to remember -- we uncovered a lot of witches that way. So, credit where credit is due.

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

What-A-Bargain


As promised here are the pictures of the furniture that Bonnie and mom found for me at a garage sale. The guy sold the desk to me for $100 and when I called to say I definitely wanted it, he told me he would sell me the credenza and hutch for another $100. They also threw in the little end table for free.





Getting the furniture was an adventure of epic proportions. Me, mom, Terry, Dan and my nephews, Elliott and Alec, borrowed a flat-bed trailer from one of Terry's teacher friends for the cost to me of one dinner in the restaurant of his choice. That's a bargain.




We brought the desk, hutch and credenza to my house, brought my computer furniture to Bonnie's house and brought Bonnie's computer furniture to Terry's house. Bonnie and I both live in two story townhouses and the furniture was going (and being taken from) rooms upstairs. Are you tired, yet? I am. Thank God for strong nephews and brother-in-laws.

When Terry brought the trailer back to her friend, he told her that the pin had come out of the trailer hitch (whatever that means). Come to find out, that's a very bad thing. As usual, our little guardian angels were on the job.

As I've said before, God takes care of small animals and dumbasses. The dumbasses would be us.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Paul 'Bubba' Mitchell


Paul Mitchell has a commercial out in which he goes on and on ad nauseum about the fact that if you see any of his products anywhere other than a salon, the products are counterfeit. While I can now buy Matrix products at Target and Redken products at Kroger, anyone who wants Paul Mitchell products has to pay out the ass at a salon.

Paul could obviously make more money if he sold his products in more places than just salons so I don’t think lost revenue is his motivation here. I think his problem with the counterfeit products is that he doesn’t want some Bubba with a mullet whose granny cut his hair in her kitchen going around town being a Paul Mitchell spokesperson.



“Hey, Bubba! Nice hair.”

“Thanks, I use Paul Mitchell.”

Maybe Paul could be standing in the background giving the camera the devil horns sign and bobbing his head up and down to Sweet Home Alabama. Now that would be a good commercial.


Snobbiness is annoying and boring no matter how it’s expressed. Paul, get over yourself, and put that shit on the shelves at WalMart. Be a man for God’s sake.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Do You Have This Much Fun at Work?

Crazy Co-Worker Story #1
One of the guys at my office is growing a goatee and it's coming in nicely. One of my co-workers, better known to some of my fellow bloggers as Fav File Clerk, was telling our handsome co-worker, while coyly circling her mouth with her index finger, that his goatee was looking good. She then suavely turned to walk away and...ran into the wall.


Crazy Co-Worker Story #2
One of my co-workers broke the back of her chair. This co-worker searched office supply catalogs for days looking for the perfect chair to replace her broken chair. The chair finally came in today and when I went into her office, she was sitting in her new chair swiveling left then right and looked up at me and said, "Do I look fat in this chair?"

I said, "What?!"

She said, "Veronica was sitting in this chair a while ago and she is so tiny that she barely covered the seat. Look at me. My ass is practically hitting the arms on both sides."

We've all heard people ask, "Do these pants make me look fat?" And, I've even had people ask me if their haircut made them look fat. But, this is a new one on me: "Does this chair make me look fat?"

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Monday, August 08, 2005

AC/DC (the other one)


I bought a new desk and credenza for my office/den. Mom and Bonnie love to get up early and go to garage sales. The only time I like to get up early is if I'm taking a trip somewhere. Rummaging through other people's crap is not nearly motivating enough to make me get out from under my snuggly covers. However, that doesn't stop me from taking advantage of some of the bargains mom and Bonnie stumble upon. They found the desk, end table and credenza for $200 total and it's beautiful. After I get the room fixed up, I'll post some pictures.

When I was taking down my computer, I tried to keep track of all of the computer cords and power cords. Since I've done that a million times I wasn't as careful as I should have been. This time, I happened to have my electric screwdriver plugged into the surge suppressor with my other computer equipment and, somehow, when I put everything back together I plugged my electric screwdriver into the AC adapter that goes with my scanner instead of the smaller one that should have gone with the screwdriver.

I was sitting here last night when I thought I smelled something funky. Then, I thought I smelled something REALLY funky. I got up and went into my bedroom where I had plugged in the screwdriver and it was melting into my carpet. Thank God I didn't hide it behind the curtains after I plugged it in like I was going to do.

So, here's your public service announcement for tonight. When those little warning labels on AC adaptors say to use them only with the equipment they came with, no mixing and matching, just do it.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Happy Birthday, Clay!

We went to the Dixie for Clay's birthday last night. I didn't get custody of the group picture but as soon as I get a copy, I'll post it.

At around midnight, everyone started splitting up to go to eat breakfast or go to different clubs so, Terry and Dan and I went to Antone's. There was a group there out of Houston called Fidelity Maxx. We only caught the last set which consisted of strictly old funk (James Brown, Parliament) and it was fantastic. Supposedly, the earlier sets had some blues and some slow grooves which I bet they kicked ass on.

I can't wait until they play again so I can see the whole show.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Friday, August 05, 2005

U. S. Indie Festival Rescheduled

The U. S. Indie Festival that was originally scheduled for next week, 8/19 - 8/23, at Fair Park here in Beaumont has been postponed to Labor Day Weekend.

That's the same weekend as the big surprise 50th Birthday Party I'm throwing for myself so I'll have to miss one day of it but, hopefully, it will at least be a little cooler by then.

More details on my fabulous I'm Not Over The Hill birthday party/luau later.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Google This

Someone found this blog by doing a search for: should i pop fever blister?

If anyone else has arrived at this blog and, specifically, this post by typing in those words, I feel compelled to give you an answer. My answer is DON'T TOUCH IT!

Also, don't cross your eyes because they'll stay that way. Stop making that face or it will freeze like that. Don't touch yourself or you'll go blind. And, wine after beer will make you go queer.

You're welcome.

Dave Navarro's Blog


Dave Navarro has a blog and I've added him to my sidebar under celebrity bloggers. I'm addicted to Rock Star INXS just like I'm addicted to American Idol when it's on. My prediction is that Marty will win and INXS will use Jordis to open their shows. Each contestant also has their own blog which can be accessed from the main page.

I hear the reality show about the dancers (So You Think You Can Dance?) is very good also.

I gotta get me some TIVO.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Big-Ass Crocodile



A while back I posted a story about a big-ass alligator. When I got the e-mail that's been going around with a big-ass crocodile, I thought I should give equal blog time to the crocs.

The e-mail going around with the pictures has a few inaccuracies. Here is the information I found on About.com:

The preceding images appear to be authentic and correspond to a French-language news story that appeared in the Congolese weekly magazine La Semaine Africaine on July 17, 2003.

The creature was first reported swimming in the port of Pointe-Noire, Republic of the Congo on the night of July 5, 2003. Later, around one o'clock in the morning, it was spotted creeping up onto the beach by onlookers who phoned the police, apparently frightening the beast back into the water in the process. It returned to shore a couple of hours later only to be greeted by a fusillade of bullets from an array of weapons including a Kalachnikov assault rifle. Even so, it took nearly an hour to fell the beast, during which time the neighborhood sounded like a war zone, according to residents. A crowd of bystanders equipped with axes and knives began to approach the carcass with visions of crocodile steaks in their heads, but Mayor Roland Bouiti-Viaudo interfered, declaring it necessary to preserve the monster in the name of science and tourism. It was eventually forklifted into a container and, at last report, was bound not for the freezer of a local hotel, but for a taxidermist.

Contrary to what is reported in the email, the news story says the croc measured 5 meters (equivalent to 16 feet) long and weighed 850 kilos (1,874 lbs., less than half of what the email claims), and identifies its species as Crocodylus niloticus (Nile crocodile), native to fresh-water rivers, lakes and swamps — which would explain why it was so eager to quit the ocean for dry land even though it was confronted by unfriendly humans. It was estimated to be approximately 50 years old.

Because they were snapped with a digital camera, it was possible to retrieve the source data on the first image in the series, according to which it was taken on July 6, 2003 at 12:35 p.m.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Parting is such sweet...yada, yada, yada...

My blogging friend Lorna wrote a great post about loneliness and as I was writing a comment on the post, I thought I would carry the thought over to here and maybe you'll share your thoughts with us. Lorna and I have never met and have only known each other (wow, for almost 10 months!) through our blogs but we have a lot of things (thoughts, feelings, ideas, music, movies) in common. Her feelings on loneliness are no exception.

I enjoy being alone as much as I enjoy being in huge crowds or surrounded by friends and family. I only feel lonely for my family or friends at the exact moment they are leaving. After they're gone or, of course, while they're here, I'm fine. Our bonds are so permanent and indestructible that even when we're apart, the feelings of togetherness are there. My family and friends are as close as my thoughts. But the actual moment of parting tears at my heart.

Luckily, I'm easily distracted and live in a constant, blissful state of denial. That state of denial is a wonderful place which exists in the minds of those of us who can shove all sadness, regret and dissappoint so far into the deep dark recesses of our brains that they only rear their ugly heads in rare moments of self-pity or after drinking too much vodka.

Monday, August 01, 2005

From my desk calendar...

Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.

Summer camp is educational. Last year, I learned to say “Help” underwater.
Bob Phillips


There are some friends you know you will have for the rest of your life. You’re welded together by love, trust, respect, loss -- or simple embarrassment.