About a week ago, I opened my wallet and discovered I had somehow accumulated about twenty one-dollar bills. My wallet was so fat I couldn't close it. It was like, one day I had a couple of twenties and the next day I had a wallet full of ones.
The scary part is, I don't know where all the ones came from. Could I possibly have a multiple personality disorder thing going on and I'm actually Laurie (me), LuLu (the stripper) and Lennie (the serial killer)?
Speaking of strippers, do the one dollar bills they accumulate go directly back into commerce? When I opened my wallet at Jack in the Box this morning, I wondered, "Suppose I am LuLu the Stripper and these ones were in my g-string last night. Now, I'm paying for my breakfast with nasty g-string money which will be put into the cash register and given as change to the soccer mom in the SUV right behind me."
I would like to make the following proposal. When people go into a strip club, they should be required to exchange their one dollar bills for Stripper Money. At the end of the night, the strippers would exchange their Stripper Money (which is all sweaty, and...well, you know) for real, relatively non-nasty, money.
Now, that I've figured out what should be done with LuLu's stripper money, I need to work on Lennie's problem of misplacing all of Laurie's good butcher knives.