Tuesday, March 31, 2009

More pictures from the Thomas Jefferson March 2009 Monthly Alumni Gathering

About six months ago a girl from my high school started a MySpace type website for everyone who ever graduated from Thomas Jefferson in Port Arthur. At some point, somebody suggested everybody get together from time to time. I said, "Why not?" and the Monthly Alumni Gatherings were born. We had a great time this month and here's the proof as seen through the camera lens of the fabulous Nadia.

Click here for another fabulous slideshow from Julie Devillier.

Monday, March 30, 2009

What the cool people do until closing time after everybody else goes home...

It started with a blank piece of paper and an ink pen left behind by the waiter...

Then, the doodling began. Are you left handed or right handed? Is it a pig or a horse in the hole in the yard? So many questions...

Then, Bonnie tried to spell Led Zeppelin. We tried Zepelin, Zeppellin, Zepelin. Then Cammie wrote Eagles, then I wrote Rush, then...

...then...no duplications allowed, by the way, and there's no such thing as Graham Funk Railroad.

The cool people: Kenneth, Lori, Laurie, Arthur,Bonnie,Cammie.

Tomorrow, pictures of more cool people.

In the News

No s-h-i-t CNN.com Headline of the Day
Guy rows solo 2950 miles, is exhausted

Is that really a good idea?
I heard on my way to work that President Obama might suggest that the best solution for the automobile industry problems might be to let them go into bankruptcy. However, since the fear is that nobody would buy a car from a bankrupt company, the government would honor the warranties for those cars sold after bankruptcy.

Something tells me that a government that pays three thousand dollars for a hammer or a thousand dollars for a toilet seat, might not be the most qualified entity to be in charge of changing the oil in my car.

"Ma'am, you're going to need a new right front tire and we seem to have lost your oil cap. That will be $50,000, please. We accept food stamps."

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Smokey, You're Creepin' Me Out

Smokey Robinson's duet with Joss Stone on Idol Thursday night totally creeped me out. I think he was wearing Michael Jackson's contact lenses from that Thriller video.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

This and That

I gave up shopping for Lent. Before Lent, I couldn't find a Wii Fit anywhere. Now, they're everywhere I look. Target had TWO of them Saturday. By the way, I can't shop, but I can accept "gifts." ((nudge, nudge, wink, wink)) Then I could give you a "gift" of a check of $89 plus tax.

That machine up there is a combination vacuum cleaner/blow dryer. I'm going to buy one and stand by the receptionist desk at my office and blow the pollen off of everybody as they walk in, then suck it up with the vacuum cleaner. My constant sneezing is waking up my co-workers.

I keep chocolate covered espresso beans in my desk drawer at work. I take them out of the store packaging and put them in a Ziploc bag to keep them freshy fresh. Then, I put a hand-written label on the Ziploc bag which says "coffee beans," because I have a fear that some chocolate grabbing thief will steal a handful out of my drawer when I'm away from my desk and, after gulping them down, will think they're having a heart attack. Bwahahaha! That would actually be sort of funny, wouldn't it?

Another great show on The Biography Channel. The Chris Isaak Hour. One guest, one hour, interviews, performances, duets. Fabulous.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know strange things happen to me and strange things happen in my house. I'm a fan of ghost hunting, but I won't "investigate" my own house. I've lived in a haunted apartment before and I prefer to just not know if I'm sharing my house with others.

Last night, I got a call from my aunt asking if I had called her around 2:30 p.m. from my house. I told her that I hadn't and that, to my knowledge, nobody had been at my house yesterday afternoon. I don't have her number programmed into any of my phones, so it's also not possible that some weird electrical/phone/Roadrunner fluke automatically dialed her. She also said that she had her cell phone with her all day and really didn't understand how she could have had the "missed call" in the first place.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Carly Wins a Major Award!

The fabulous Carly has won a limerick contest. The major award was two free tickets to the Taste of Gumbo event in Port Arthur. Gumbo is always major.

Here's her limerick:
Said Thibodeaux to his brother Lou
"Suppose we use beer instead of roux?"
Responded his kin,
"You know something my friend?
We could even rename it gum-brew!"

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Videos of the Grand-Fabulous-Ava Sunday

Sunday with the Grand-Fabulous-Ava

Resting in Oakley's bed.

Pushing Baby Mary.

Hanging out on the patio.

Pushing Baby Mary.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Billy Bob canceled, Simple Logic rocked and Back in Black gets a nit-picky review

Billy Bob Thornton decided to skip Beaumont at the last minute, which simplified my music choices last night. Scheduled to open for Billy Bob was one of my favorite local bands Simple Logic. They did not cancel. I've told you about these guys before (see previous post) and, once again, they put on a great show.

I can't find a website for Simple Logic, but according to the Logon Cafe website (which may or may not be correct), current members are:

Chris Kozlowski (drums)
Chuck Ferguson (guitar)
David Simon (guitar)
Tony Buagas (vocal, acoustic guitar)
Joel Schoening (keyboards)
Joe Boucher (bass)

You can see Simple Logic, and I highly recommend that you do, at the South Texas State Fair on Saturday, March 28 at noon and Wednesday, April 1 at 5:30 p.m.

Tony Buagas of Simple Logic

Now, for my nit-picky review of AC/DC tribute band Back in Black. I have a favorite AC/DC tribute band and their name is Hells Bells. As musicians, some would say that Back in Black is the superior band.

I, however, couldn't get past the fact that Back in Black's "Angus" was taller than "Bon/Brian." Not only was he tall, he was handsome in a Jim from The Office kind of way. That's just not right.

"Brian Johnson" and "Angus"


(Jim Halpert...right?)

"Angus" still being taller than "Brian"

"Brian" going all AC/DC on our asses

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Friday Night on Crockett Street

Back in Black - AC/DC Tribute Band - Scout Bar

The Boxmasters - Billy Bob Thornton's band - Dixie Dancehall

Opening for The Boxmasters will be my favorite new local band Simple Logic. Here's my review from a show last month...

"As fantastic as all of that was, the highlight of my week was the discovery of the band I saw tonight. Evidently, they've been around a couple of years, but I had never seen them before. The band is called Simple Logic and the lead singer is the best I've ever seen locally and I've seen lots and lots and lots of incredible local talent in my day.His covers of Maroon 5, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Eric Clapton, Train, Dishwalla, Matchbox 20 and so many others that I can't even remember were perfection. Then, as if all that weren't enough, to top it all off, he did Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On."

Sunday, March 15, 2009

This and That

Watch that spell check
My mom recently sent the whole family an e-mail telling us that my cousin's colonoscopy results were fine and that he only has "pileups." Spell check didn't recognize "polyps."

A friend of mine kept responding to my e-mails with a hearty "Defiantly!" I finally asked her if she meant "definitely." She did. Once again, spell check was the culprit.

If you're a professional clown, know where you're going
My dad is a professional clown. He got lost looking for a birthday party the other day and was stopped by the police. A 911 call had been made saying there was a strange man in a van dressed as a clown driving slowly up and down their street. As a huge crowd gathered, the lady who had booked the party came to his rescue after noticing the commotion down the block.

Old people do it, too
A friend of mine recently bought a house from an older couple. As her husband was putting things away in the bathroom, he felt something at the back of one of the drawers under the sink. "Oh, my God!" he said. "It's condoms!"

"Ewwww, they're so old," said the wife. "Why would they use condoms? VD?!"

"Agggghhhhh!" said the husband as he slowly pulled out...

...Polident tablets.

Friday, March 13, 2009


There is a fabulous new place to eat in Beaumont called N-Fuego. It's sort of like Subway except with Mexican food ingredients instead of sandwich fillings and burritos, tacos, nachos, quesadillas and salads instead of bread.

You go through the serving line and the people behind the counter add your choice of ingredients to your order. It's a cute little restaurant (it used to be Novrosky's at Calder and Lucas) and has a nice patio in front.

The ingredients are mostly healthy and all of the meats are delicious. Give it a try. You won't be disappointed.

4230 Calder
Beaumont, Texas
(409) 898-8688

In Laurie's Brain

Are you a southern girl looking for the near perfect man and those other dating sites just aren't doing it for you? Then, you should try MY new dating site.

Below is a picture of just a couple of the good ole boys you'll find at E-Hominy.com...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Space Rockers!!

My friend Jan tells me that this Friday night, March 13, the Space Rockers will be at Scout Bar on Crockett Street. She said they put on a great show and they really want to pack the house so Scout Bar will continue to book fun bands that make you want to dance all night.

I'm a little under the weather, so I don't know if I'll be there. If you're looking for something to do Friday night, go out to Crockett Street, eat dinner at Pancho Villa and checkout the Space Rockers.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Reasons I Hate You and I Don't Even Know You

  • You drive a huge gas guzzling SUV.
  • Every morning you park on the street when there are plenty of spaces in the parking lot.
  • By parking on the street, the traffic has to go around your car all day (it's a two lane street).
  • The place that you park on the street is where the sidewalk exits the parking lot.
  • When you get out of your huge gas guzzling SUV, you're always talking loudly on the phone.
  • You never hold the door open for anyone walking behind you.
  • Your pants are too tight.
  • You run to the elevator and either stop it with your hand or holler for the people on the elevator to wait for you.
  • The only obnoxious thing you don't do is throw cigarette butts everywhere.
  • You do these things every...single...morning.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Grab Bag

This post is one of those grab bag things like you buy for a couple of bucks at the fair and don't know what's in it until you open it. It seems there are some copyright issues with the link below and as soon as the video is posted on YouTube, the original publisher takes it away. So, I'm not going to tell you what it is, because the publisher is evidently Google-ing his ass off trying to find all versions of this clip. The link might not even work anymore by the time you click it. Are you intrigued, yet?

Monday, March 09, 2009

The Most Awesome Early Show Segment Ever

(Note: Curse words edited to get this blog past dirty word filters at your office, not because I'm a nice person.)
Kathy Bates

Sheila Blair

Maggie Rodriguez

This morning on The Early Show on CBS, Harry Smith was interviewing Sheila Blair, chairman of the FDIC. Sheila looks a lot like Kathy Bates. She and Harry were doing their damnedest to assure all of us that money in federally insured banks is safe (up to $250,000, that is) and that we shouldn’t worry our pretty little heads about it because the money is “…backed by the full faith and credit of the United States government. So, the money will always be there. We can't run out of money.” I’m not sure what that means exactly, but if Kathy Bates believes it, it must be true.

When the interview was over, Harry did his wrap-up and Maggie Rodriguez who was sitting next to him suddenly decided to throw a turd in the punchbowl. She informed us that she spoke to “her banker” yesterday and he told her that federally insured money is indeed safe, but there is no law stating how quickly a person will have access to their money and that it could possibly take years for people to actually get their money. Harry went pale looked at Maggie with eyes that said, “WTF, Maggie? We were trying to make everybody feel better. STFU!”

So, the producers cut to Dave Price doing the weather and when they went back to Harry, he was split screen with Kathy Bates and Kathy was pissed. Kathy/Sheila told us that if the FDIC steps in to insure your money, the transition is seamless and people can still use their ATM cards and write checks and yada, yada, yada. Piece of cake.

Not to be outdone, Maggie the Turd Thrower pressed Kathy Bates to admit that there is no time limit provision in the law saying how quickly the money must be made available to bank customers. Sheila/Kathy said, “No b*tch. There is no provision in the law about time limits, but I’m the chairman and this is how it’s done and don’t make me go all Misery on your ass and bust your ankles and sh*t.” I’m paraphrasing.

Sheila went on to say, “There are disreputable people out there like your dumbass banker ‘friend’ who are telling people it could take years to have access to their money, because they’re trying to sell people high risk insurance policies and gold coins and c-r-a-p like that.” Once again, I paraphrase.

Maggie, who obviously took a toke off the old crack pipe right before air time couldn't let it go. “Well, I’m going to make a phone call to my banker at Chase, right f-u-c-k-i-n-g now.” (She didn’t say f-u-c-k.) So, Mags caused this whole uproar, made Harry Smith go off-script, disrupted the entire Early Show, pissed off the FDIC and then decided, as an encore, to throw Chase Bank under the bus.

At that point, I had to turn off the television and get ready for work, but I imagined this going on all morning. Did the president of Chase then come on after the next commercial break to give us his two cents? Did Maggie then admit that perhaps it wasn’t her banker “friend” who gave her the bad information and that maybe it was actually Tom on MySpace who said he’d be her friend if she bought a krugerrand? Then, Tom comes on and is all, “WTF, Maggie?” and she’s banned from MySpace forever?

Would serve her right.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

In Memory of Old Horsetail Snake

Oct. 1 and 2, 1930 - March 7, 2009

When I started blogging over four years ago, one of my first blogging friends was Old Horsetail Snake a/k/a Gene Maudlin. "Old Hoss" as he called himself, passed away yesterday. He was a frequent and hilarious commenter here and I will miss him terribly.

Whenever I look at my cell phone contact list, I see the phone number of my Uncle Wayne who passed away last year and I see the phone number of Mama Theresa's Italian restaurant which was destroyed by Hurricane Ike when it devasted Crystal Beach last September. I know I'll never be able to delete those phone numbers from my cell phone and I know will never be able to delete "Hoss" from my blogroll.

See you later, Hoss. Rabbit, rabbit.

From Home Fires by Lois Lane:
From the last line of his obituary (which he wrote himself): “Maudlin plans to be cremated and then will reincarnate.”

Friday, March 06, 2009

Paranormal Convention in Beaumont

Note: Comments have been disabled on posts about the paranormal conventions. Someone (NOT ME) has created a site to continue those discussions if you're interested. CLICK HERE.

I've got a busy weekend, so I'll talk to you Monday. For now, chew on this (which I found out about on The Bayou.)

"First Southeast Texas Paranormal Convention - March 12-13, 2010, Beaumont, Texas. The convention will be held at the Beaumont Civic Center. General Admission is $20, Please contact us for more information or to participate. After the convention join us for a 3 hour concert with local bands." Texas Society of Paranormal Investigators

Note: Comments have been disabled on posts about the paranormal conventions. Someone (NOT ME) has created a site to continue those discussions if you're interested. CLICK HERE.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Were you raised in a barn?!

This morning, I started my dishwasher, went upstairs to get ready for work, came back downstairs and found my kitchen flooded. According to Google, a dishwasher uses six gallons of water. Imagine three people standing in your kitchen each holding a bucket of water and flinging it all over your kitchen. Everything was wet. Everything.

When I got to work, I had an e-mail from a co-worker that the freezer door in the office kitchen had been left open all night and everything in it was thawed out.

While we were looking in the freezer, two co-workers came in saying the elevator doors wouldn't open all the way, so they had to force their way out.

Three door problems in 15 minutes.

What does it mean, Grasshopper?

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Sponge my garbage

I constantly see questions online and in magazines and newspapers asking how to keep sponges smelling fresh. People. You can buy about a hundred sponges for a buck at the dollar store. When your sponge starts smelling like stinky feet, THROW IT AWAY. Go crazy. Buy a whole bag of new sponges. For a buck.

By the way, if you're the kind of person who waits until your sponge starts smelling like stinky feet before you throw it away, don't invite me over for dinner. I prefer to get my salmonella from peanut butter.

You know what? Don't even buy nasty ass sponges. They're little bacteria condominiums. Buy a sack of lovely colorful rags at the dollar store and use a new one every day. That's why God invented washing machines.

On another disgusting subject, I just saw a commercial for scented garbage bags. Allegedly, you need this product so your garbage won't stink up your house. Here's an idea. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Crawfish Boil Groom Cake

My cousin sent me the picture of this amazing groom's cake. I've been trying to verify where it came from or who made it, but I'm coming up with nothing. It's truly amazing.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Sci-Fi Convention in Lake Charles! (Please take the poll at the end of the post.)

I'm not a huge Sci-Fi fan, but I'm a huge fan of Sci-Fi fans. The guys in Lake Charles who are putting on this convention are taking a poll to see if people would actually be interested in attending. Please take the poll and I'll let them know the results.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

I Wish

I wish...
  • ...I had a dog named Jo-Jo so I could say, "Get back, Jo-Jo."
  • ...that the time clock for work was in the elevator lobby.
  • ...my condo association would get their shit together and fix my Hurricane Ike blue roof already.
  • ...upon stars.
  • ...I wasn't too cheap to hire a housekeeper.
  • ...pecan-pralines-and-cream ice cream was good for you.
  • ...I enjoyed running.
  • ...I could be sitting in Jackson Square drinking a banana-pina-colada daiquiri.
  • ...I could be in Las Vegas.
  • ...I had two puppies so I could name them Mulder and Scully.
  • ...I could think of something to blog about.