You Know Chow Mein?

I stopped to buy gas on my way home from work today. All I can say is thank God I deposited my paycheck before I bought gas and, thank God again, that I drive a Toyota. Good grief! Across the street from where I bought gas is a Chinese restaurant. I had no intention of buying Chinese food for supper but as I stood there filling my tank, the General Wok sign was begging me to cross the street.

I pulled up to the drive-thru menu and tried to make up my mind. Would it be Orange Chicken? Or, perhaps, Mongolian Beef? How about some House Lo Mein or Garlic Shrimp? When the voice in the speaker asked what I wanted, I said, "Shrimp Chow Mein." I have no idea why I said that.

I do that all the time. I'll go over a menu and change my mind ten times before the waitress takes the order and, more often than not, I even surprise myself at what I order. Then, when the food comes, I'm usually surprised again because I changed my mind so many times during the whole ordering process that I don't even remember what I finally ordered.

There were three cars in front of me so I thought, "At least my food will be ready by the time I get to the window." Alas, it was not meant to be. When I finally got to the window, the Chinese lady inside asked me in very broken English, "You know what Chow Mein?"

I thought she asked, "You no want Chow Mein?"

So, I said, "Yes, I want Chow Mein?"

She said, "You know Chow Mein?"

At this point, I'm getting a little worried. Does their Chow Mein contain sauteed squid's eyes or something? Why would she ask me if I know Chow Mein? So, I said, "Yes, I know Chow Mein."

Not to be deterred, the lady continued, "It got hard noodle...and cabbage..."

I said, "Yeeessss....?"

"Yesterday, a lady order Chow Mein and I give her Chow Mein. She get mad. Said she order Lo Mein. Lo Mein got soft noodle. She so mad."

"Oh," I said, "People can be mean."

"My husband say I have to ask if you know Chow Mein."

"Yes, I know Chow Mein."

It was delicious, by the way. No squid's eyes or anything.

______________________________________________________

A Wealth of Information from My Fortune Cookie

My fortune: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
(That's good because I can't remember anything anyway.)

Lucky numbers: 22, 31, 47, 39, 17, 4
(If you play those numbers and win, I want a cut!)

Learn Chinese: Peng-you = Friend
(Isn't that nice? It doesn't sound like *friend* though, does it? It actually sounds like the opposite of what you would tell your friend: PENG YOU!)