Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Don't Try This At Home



The following is reprinted from an article by D'Arcy Rickard, "The Red Deer Advocate", Red Deer, Alberta, Canada.

STETTLER -- An 18-year old Stettler man tried to eat his underwear in the hope that the cotton fabric would absorb alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test, provincial court heard this week.

David Zurfluh was subsequently acquitted of a charge of impaired driving because he blew .08, the legal limit.

But the testimony broke up people in Judge David MacNaughton's provincial court here Thursday afternoon.

Mr. Zurfluh was collared by RCMP Const. Bill Robinson after he ran from his vehicle, which had been seen weaving down the highway.

While sitting in the back of the patrol car, Mr. Zurfluh tried to eat his shorts, Const. Robinson told the court.

Mr. Zurfluh said he ripped the crotch out of his shorts, stuffed the fabric in his mouth and then spit it out.

A class of law students from William E. Hay Composite High, in court as observers, was removed by the teacher when testimony enlivened the proceedings. The Grade 11 and 12 students had difficulty maintaining composure.

"People were leaving the courtroom with tears in their eyes, trying not to laugh," said RCMP Const. Peter McFarlane.

17 comments:

OldRoses said...

I'm losing my composure just reading about it. Stupid male tricks!

Larry Jones said...

Can't fool those Mounties. But do you think they bought the story that the guy in the picture is 18 years old?

Glod said...

I'm sick of this blog, every time I view comment they appear in the window where gmail used to be, and I have no idea what all of this means to Miss New Orleans. Who is the current Miss New Orleans anyway? It's not you is it?

Laurie said...

Old Roses - Can you just picture the guy?

Larry - I was wondering the same thing. I don't know. Hard drinking does strange things to people.

Glod - Dramamine might help. I don't know about the comment thing. That's the first time I've heard that one.

What it all means? I guess that's why I blog, to try to figure it out.

I don't know who the current Miss New Orleans is and I've never been Miss anything, past or present. I would flunk the talent portion of the competition.

Shelli said...

That's just sick!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I have often told people to "Bite my shorts." I never thought of doing it myself....

Lorna said...

Only in Canada, eh?

MOJO said...

mmmm..... underpants [[ Homer Simpson style]]

Laurie said...

Shelli - Sick, sick, sick!

Old Horsetail - Just the thought of it...ugh!

Lorna - Eh!

Mojo - Gotta love Homer.

Princess Blogonoke said...

That is insanely gross.

Ewww.

Jack said...

glod--

I have the same problem. The solution is to right click on the Cuervo and select "open in new window."

Laurie said...

Princess - Eww, Eww, Eww...

Wang - Thanks. I had no idea.

Comfort Addict said...

This is why I love psychology. Can you imagine how this guy's mind was working?

Laurie said...

Comfort Addict - ... and how his mind was working while under the influence?

Danno said...

I've been pretty drunk in my time...but I have never tried to eat my drawers. What in his tiny brain made him think he could consume a whole pair of drawers in the short walk from patrol car to his rusted pickup? But maybe it was just a thong. Ahh...I just threw up in my mouth a little :(

Can't you just see this clown, Pie-eyed, leering into the light with an elastic Fruit of the Loom band hanging from his mouth.

(Muffled) "Cawwnn I hep yew ufficer?"

Laurie said...

Danno - That was a very good impression of a drunk. The visual is cracking me up...except for the thong part.

Anonymous said...

no word of a lie.. I have the original newspaper clipping.. I went to school with the guy.. he was a year younger then me.. I was in the same class as his sister..