We (my sister Bonnie and I) went apartment hunting with Cory and Jamie (my son and his wife) today. He got a job a couple of hours away from here and they're moving to a little town none of us have ever been to.
Cory, being the designated man in our group, had control of the map. He and Jamie had researched apartment complexes online so we had a general idea about apartment locations, but that was it.
Cory would say things like, "Go down House Street and when you get to Highway 35, you will take either a left or a right." Not very helpful to me, the driver.
At one point when we were hopelessly lost (there were many points when we were hopelessly lost), he said, "I thought this Dumble Street went all the way through. Oh, I see. It stops right here."
"Good job, Magellan," I said, being the always supportive mother. This led to a discussion of explorers in general and who invented maps.
"Magna Carta?" I asked.
"No, that had something to do with laws or something."
"I think it was Vasco DeGama."
"No, Lewis and Clark."
"No, they discovered Louisiana."
"No, that was LaSalle."
"What did Ponce De Leon discover?"
Looking back at the map, Cory said, "Well, there are these red lines all over the map!"
"You mean the streets?" I asked, always the smartass.
Looking at the map, Bonnie said, "Those are the latitude and longitude lines, Cory. These are the streets." That explained a lot. In Cory's defense, however, the dumbass who made the map did make the grid lines red, just like the streets. The City of Alvin mapmaker was no Ptolemy, I'll tell you that.
Even after we figured out the problem with the grid lines, we continued to get lost. At one point, I had to make a u-turn. The street wasn't wide enough to just make the u-turn so I had to pull into a church parking lot. As I was waiting in the parking lot for the traffic to stop so I could turn around, Bonnie said, "LOOK!" and pointed to the sign you see below which was about five feet in front of us.
We were speechless for about 10 seconds. Then, "Leif Ericsson. He was a viking or something wasn't he?"