Did you know that it’s illegal to possess, promote, or sell obscene material in the State of Texas? Did you also know that, in Texas, obscene material includes all that stuff you can buy at “fun parties?” I’ve been to a couple of those “fun parties.” I used to pretend I was enjoying myself but not anymore. There are some things I just don’t want to know about the sex lives of my family and friends. When I do go to one of those parties, I cower in the corner and pray nobody notices me as they discuss the quality and quantity of their orgasms and pass around devices and creams and some items that look just plain dangerous.
Back to the topic of the Texas definition of obscenity, what a person uses when she is in a self-satisfying sexual state of mind should be between her and Johnny Depp or , if she's in a particularly scary self-satisfying sexual state of mind, between her and Keith Richards. Certainly any accoutrement used between couples of any sexual orientation shouldn’t be under a Texas judge’s jurisdiction unless the judge happens to be part of the proceedings, so to speak
According to a news story yesterday, undercover Beaumont Narcotics and Vice officers went into three local businesses and purchased allegedly obscene items and then presented them to a judge who ruled that they were obscene. I would have liked to have heard the clerk’s conversations when the undercover persons left their shops, “Did you see what that dude bought? He didn’t even look like a freak. He looked like a cop or something.” Or, “Oh, my God! That woman just bought enough dildos to vibrate a small country.”
Sure, I heard that the shops that were raided sell butt plugs and other similarly exotic accessories but, if those items aren’t used at the corner of Dowlen and Phelan or under the clock at Parkdale Mall I don’t see where it’s the business of society at large.
The scariest part to me is, according to Lt. James Clay, Beaumont Police, "Everyone that works there can be charged. The owners can be charged because it's based on possession, promotion and sale. The clerk is responsible for the sale and the owner is responsible for purchasing the items and putting them in the store."
That means all of those arrested, including sales clerks, could be found guilty of violating obscenity laws and could face up to one year in jail and a $4,000 fine. Now, that's obscene.