You've Seen It Before - Now You're Seeing It Here

• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
• I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• They call it PMS because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
• A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
• Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
• I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
• They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.
• Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure
• It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
• Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
  
  Last but not least:
• Most plans are just inaccurate predictions – Ben Bayol