I don't have pets. I like animals in theory. In practice, however, they are destructive, they are messy, they are demanding, they are expensive and they stink.
I am so self-centered and self-indulgent that I don't even have plants because that would be one more thing to fuss over and dust and feed and water.
I have, however, made the plunge into pet ownership on a level I can deal with. I have bought Sea Monkeys! Not just any Sea Monkeys, mind you. I bought The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys Executive Set. In about ten minutes, I will give them the gift of life. Of course, if their little tank gets dirty, they're getting flushed.
Sayonara, monkey boy.