Thursday, January 27, 2005

Looking Through the Beer Goggles of Love

My blogging friend Deek (if you aren't reading him at Blog of Funk, you're missing out) recently wrote a post about thinking himself handsome (in a mind over matter sort of way) and it made me think of beer googles, or, in my case, Smirnoff Ice goggles.

My sisters and my friends are constanly pulling me away from what I perceive to be fascinating conversation with an incredibly handsome man. It has become a habit of mine to now ask my keepers early on, "Is he normal?" or "He's cute isn't he? He has all his teeth...and most of his hair."

It's just that I'm easily impressed and easily amused when I've had a few cocktails. This can, understandably give a man the impression that I am (a) impressed and/or (b) amused which isn't really fair to him since, in reality, I am probably neither. I'm just drunk which makes me smile a lot.

The side effect that Deek's post reminded me of is a less frequently mentioned symptom of beer (Smirnoff Ice) goggles. That would be the inverse beer (Smirnoff Ice) goggle effect. Not only do we find members of the opposite sex more attractive than they really are, but we actually begin to think we are the shizzle and could give Angelina Jolie a run for Brad Pitt's money.

I have a few pieces of advice for you before your next evening out on the town:
  1. Designate a driver,
  2. Designate a keeper, and
  3. Whatever you do, don't piss off your keeper. They hold your romantic fate for the evening in their hands. A pissed off keeper can lead you straight into the waiting arms of Ms. Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell or Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking.


frankysbride said...

Hey, nobody knows what reality really is. *bg*

Deek Deekster said...

Yes but on the other hand, is KNOWLEDGE really what you think it is? I mean, really? Is it?

frankysbride said...

..What I mean to say is..go with your instincts... the oh-so-tantalizing wine god has a way of--reconciling-- apparent opposites in a rather at times harsh world, in which humans fairly uniformly desire to achieve communication and intimacy with each other. :-)

P.S. *LOVE* your oh-so-funny blog!!! *bg*

Lorna said...

What I love is when Ms Psycho-bitch- from- Hell and Mr-what-was-she-thinking fall into each other's arms and the rest of us get to fall off our barstools laughing.

Still, sage advice there---you should have given it to me when I was between husbands; it could have saved a lot of a) angst b) next morning head banging against the wall and c)unnecessary haircuts, lipgloss and sequinny tops.

Donna said...

Oh my -- I'm having flashbacks!

Great advice!