Saturday, April 16, 2005

What Not to Wear: For Studly Man at Little River Band Concert

While I was watching the Little River Band last weekend, I noticed a guy standing in front of me. From the back, I was intrigued and moved in a little closer.

  • Hair - no obvious dandruff, stylish cut
  • Shirt - clean, neither too casual nor too dressy nor too blousy (although I do like a nice, girly, blousy top on a manly man)
  • Jeans - nice ass

As you can see, it doesn't take a lot to pique my interest, especially after two Grande Suprema margaritas and a Smirnoff Ice. I had moved to within about two feet of him when he slowly started turning his head to the right. Hot damn, now I get to check out his profile.

My hopes were dashed and I moved away quickly (as quickly as I could after two Grande Suprema margaritas and a Smirnoff Ice) when I saw them...BRIGHT ORANGE EAR PLUGS.

Gentlemen, I don't care if your ears are bleeding, do not wear ear plugs to a concert. Stand in the back and bring binoculars or just hang out by the beer booth. I occasionally have sad little flashbacks of the image of those orange ear plugs glaring at me from that dude's ear sockets. On top of the general wrongness of wearing bright orange earplugs in public, keep in mind that it was Little River Band, not Metallica.

Call me superficial but no amount of nice ass-iness can make up for bright orange ear plugs.

8 comments:

Donna said...

Little River Band? They're still around? (Sounds like you had fun!)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Well, see, Laurie, he was afraid you were going to talk to him, and he can't stand your new Texas accent. Don't take it personal.

Mark M. Hancock said...

Good thing I'm married. :-)
I'm already hard of hearing from all concerts and motor sports as I attend. I must wear earplugs or my name will become "what?"

Laurie said...

Donna - Hell, yeah, they're still around and they were wonderful. If they're ever in So-Cal, you should go see them. If it's a festival or something where you can bring your daughter, I think she would like them, too.

Old Horsetail - My blog name is misleading. I was born and raised here in Southeast Texas. I just long for New Orleans.

Mark - I'm sure Fay makes sure you wear nice, inconspicuous little ear plugs. I think it was the bright orangeness that may have been so shocking to my margarita addled brain.

Abby Taylor said...

But what if he were the inventor of bright orange ear plugs and is worth two billion dollars?

Laurie said...

Abby - If you would have said $1 million, I would have had to think about it but $2 billion? Maybe I could talk him into growing his hair over his ears.

ParaTed2k said...

Little River Band? Aren't those the guys who made Lounge Lizard Music seem cool, for about 10 minutes?

Ear plugs at a Little River Band seems a lot like wearing sun glasses in the dark. All they do is make everyone else wonder what your trying to block out!!! ;~D

btw, that's it, enjoying 3 of your articles in one sitting qualifies you for a Blogmark!!

See ya around the blogasphere!!!

Laurie said...

Thanks, Parated! I'll come over and check out your blog, too. (Funny comment, by the way.)