Before Old Horsetail Snake sends out a lynch mob, I better do a real post before posting my usual Saturday Night Standup.
The Little River Band played on Crockett Street last night as part of the Gulf Coast Motorcycle Rally. Half the parking lot was blocked off so the thousands of anticipated motorcycles could park. I went in the back gate and didn't realize this. It's hard to find a parking spot downtown so I saw a spot on the first row and was deliriously happy. The only problem, I thought, was that to get to the spot I had to squeeze through a narrow space left between a car parked on my left and a van which I thought was illegally parked on the right.
The van, actually, was not illegally parked. It was, unbeknownst to me, there to keep idiots like me from going into that section of the parking lot. I expertly navigated the narrow opening to enter Nirvana, the perfect parking space. As I drove down the row, however, I noticed that right before the perfect parking space, there was a barricade and a row of orange cones. F**k!
I looked around and there was no space to turn around and no one to move the barricade. It was 5:30 p.m. (my sister, Bonnie, and I were meeting right after work for dinner and margaritas at Rio Ritas) so it was early enough that there was no one in the parking lot to help me. A few hundred feet to my right, however, Little River Band (or their roadies) was on stage doing a sound check and had an excellent view of my dumb ass.
I pulled forward. I pulled back. I turned the wheel left. I turned the wheel right. I pulled a little forward. I pulled a little backward. You get the picture. After about five minutes, I finally got turned around and even in my embarrassment, once again expertly navigated the narrow opening out of Nirvana and parked waaayyy at the back of the lot.
I don't know if Little River Band saw my parking lot antics but I swear they were pointing and laughing at me during their show. I think I read the lips of the lead singer telling the lead guitarist, "Crazy Texas woman driver, front row."
Of course, he was probably saying, "Drunk Texas woman in her push-up bra, waving her hands in the air, diving for guitar picks, singing along with every song off-key, front row."
NOTE: The evening was wonderful and got a lot more interesting and if I had posted last night when I got home, you would have gotten a much more entertaining post. I hate to make more promises, Old Horsetail, but one day, I might be brave enough to elaborate.