Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Grammar Lesson

Listen to me carefully. There are two words in the english language that are NEVER, NEVER, NEVER to be plural-ized. The words are all and anyway.

Examples of common usage which drive me absolutely bat-shit:

  • Alls I told her was she was being stupid and she got all mad and stuff.
  • So, anyways, I told him I didn't care if his ex-wife was on fire, he wasn't going back over there.

And the infamous double whammy which really tests my self-control:

  • Anyways, alls I'm saying is that she's a dumbass.

16 comments:

Lou said...

I totally agree. Alls makes me nuts.

Rik said...

And while we're at it, "irregardless" is not a word. The correct term is "regardless".

God I hate when people say that. And the worst thing is, they're usually trying to sound intelligent when they use it.

Rik

Lynn / vigilant20 said...

I have to admit to using anyways. That's sad because I'm relatively smart and have taught English. You would think I'd know better.

But, anyways, I don't :)

Danno said...

how about "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less". If you "could care less" why don't you get to it and shut your silly soup cooler! Thats alls I'm saying. Anyways....

jen said...

Along with 'anyways', 'alls', 'irregardless', and 'i could care less', I hate people that f*** up with the common there/their/they're, etc. terms. THAT'S SOMETHING WE LEARN IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, IDIOTS.

And bad spellers piss me off as well. Dumbasses.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Well gollys sake. I didn't knowd that.

George Ferris said...

Thank You. And by the way - it's "ath-lete" not ath-a-lete, same for "real-tor" not real-a-tor. Plus you can "ask" me something but don't AXE me anything! In addition to thier, there and they're how about getting a grip on: to, two and too! However, I have taken a fashion to pronouncing nuclear as "nu-culer"! Thanks "W". LG

John Norton said...

Sheesh. Sounds like my cousin.

But anyway, "nuke-yoo-ler" sure does roll off the tongue easier, dunnit?

Crazy Like A Fox said...

I hate when the hicks around here stick an "a" in front of any verb ending in "ing". For example, "We were adriving down the freeway and the kids were aplaying in the backseat." Also, we have a newspaper called the Benton Courier. Everyone born and raised in Benton pronounce it "cooyer".

Larry Jones said...

There must be some etymology behind those expressions that makes sense, even if we have decided to declare them "wrong." Maybe "anyways" really is a plural, as in "many ways." And maybe "alls" was at one time a contraction of "all is." I agree that these usages mark one as stoopid, but I'm willing to look at the other side.
I will never accept "nucular," however. Only a complete nincompoop would continue to use it in speeches all over the world, after he's been corrected once.

Laurie said...

Lou - We should start a club.

Rik - Let's not forget ironical.

Lynn - But, you're going to stop now, right?

Danno - Silly soup cooler, that's funny. I hear people say "I could care less" all the time. It makes my left eye twitch.

Jen - Sing it, sista!

Old Horsetail - You ain't foolin' me you old coot. I betcha you gots better grammatics than alls of us put together. (chew...spit...wipe)

George - Where you been? I HATE it when people say Axe instead of ask. We're getting quite a list here. I had no idea I was such a bitch.

John - I have to say that the whole nucular/nuclear thing is actually beginning to confuse me. I swear, I'll stab myself in the eye if I ever accidentally say nucular.

Crazy - Bless your heart! I would be a-poppin' somebody upside the head.

Larry - I'm afraid the only etymology involved is that no one ever corrected Grandma and Grandpa and the subsequent generations slept through twelve years of English class. Nice of you to give them the benefit of the doubt though.

Dr. Sauce said...

Lmao. I don't think I'll be showing my face around any of YOU party poopers.

I always say axe, simply because ask is impossible to say when you're talking as fast as I do.
Nuculer? That's basically my favorite word, because I've always said it.
And ever heard: Alls well that ends well? It doesn't sound as bad in that sense, but yes, "I was alls upset about it, anyways." Would probably cause me to slape you =D.

But the your, you're, there, their, they're, to, two, too things is the one that I can guarantee will always piss me off.
It used to make me want to smack people, but now it's more like, "Haha, you're a dumbass, I hope you die slowly in some dumbass way. Go drink some bleach."

Ok, so basically, I just got pissed at everyone for being a bitch and then proceeded to be a bitch. Eh.

sleepybomb said...

i love the nawlins dialect. we're yats, or at least that is what tulane students from up north hear when they are greeted by locals. of course it is 'where are ya at'. there was a great show on pbs about how we say things they don't anywhere else . . . makin'groceries, neutral ground, gimme a po' boy . . .
but i think 'axed' is the most used, hell, there is a song by the meters, 'they all axed for you', ahh there is still a place w/ personality.

Laurie said...

Dr. Sauce - Ha! We brought you over to the dark side. That's what you get for making fun of your elders.

Sleepy Bomb - When I'm in New Orleans, people can axe me anything they want. For some reason it doesn't bother me. Imagine that.

kenju said...

Boy, do I ever agree! Two others that drive me up a wall are "Like" and "you know", used as filler.

I found you on Oldhorsetailsnake's blogroll - I'll be back!

Laurie said...

Kenju - I'm with you on those, too.