The Wedding and Sneak Peek at Tomorrow's Post

Note: I keep remembering stuff and adding to this post. So, if you've already read it, you might want to give it another go.

Jen and Brian's wedding was incredible! She was gorgeous, he was handsome and everything was perfection. Jen had absolutely no Bridezilla moments and she made it all look so easy. I met so many wonderful people that I couldn't begin to mention them all. Jen and Brian's families are incredible people and lots of fun. I have to give shout-outs to Becca, Todd, Ron, Lacy and Toby for also making it such a memorable weekend.

The drive up there was cold and rainy all the way and there was a wreck on the I-10 bridge going into Baton Rouge. So, all of us Texans were sweating out making it on time to the church for the rehearsal. Of course, Jen and Brian's good vibes helped The Universe to get everyone there safe and sound.

I was originally supposed to drive to Brian and Jen's house when I got to Baton Rouge and then ride with them to the rehearsal. However, because of the traffic problems, I went straight to the church. I'm a big believer in everything happening for a reason and, after following Jen home after the rehearsal, I'm pretty sure I would have gotten lost and they would still be searching the bayous for me.

The rehearsal dinner at Monjuni's was magnificent and the Chianti and bread pudding were some of the best I've ever had. Thanks Mr. and Mrs. E.

Saturday morning, Jen and I hung around watching VH-1 and BBC America. On BBC America, we saw an obese lady get a high colonic.

I looked at Jen and said, "You'll always remember that you spent your wedding morning watching a large British lady get a high colonic with one of your Matrons of Honor."

Jen said, "Yeah, great story for the grandkids."

We then headed to the salon with one backtrack to the house, which we decided was cosmic intervention so that we could avoid some horrible accident. I told Jen that someone should make a huge sign to put on the cars of people driving brides around on their wedding day which says "Bride on Board" so that people will give them lots of room and stay out of their way. We finally made it to the salon and all had our hair and makeup done. I really love Baton Rouge. Texas has a reputation for being friendly, but Baton Rouge people are a special sweet, laid back kind of friendly.

At the rehearsal, I found out I would have a few important duties: be sure Jen's train stayed picture perfect while we were on the altar, hold her flowers at certain times during the ceremony, take care of Brian's ring and sign the license in front of all of the guests during the ceremony. We also had to remember to bow when approaching the altar which is trickier than it sounds. (At one point during the ceremony, Jen forgot to bow, suddenly remembered and bowed her head. I had forgotten to bow, too, so I thought she dropped something and also looked down. Hopefully, it just looked like we were being all reverent and stuff. Sorry, God.)

You'll be happy and surprised to know that I took care of all of those duties (with Becca's help with the flowers) and never fell down or anything. The signing of the license during the wedding was something I had never seen before and was a lovely addition to the ceremony. There was a great moment when the pen ran out of ink and the deacon had to ask to borrow one from the guests.

The deacon was a delightful man with a wonderful sense of humor. Of course, I can't remember one single thing he said so that I could give you an example. During the ceremony, he invited the parents up to the altar to give the couple a blessing with him. It was an incredibly touching and memorable wedding.

We had a glamorous limo ride to the reception which was decorated beautifully. The food and cakes were amazingly wonderful, but the highlight for Becca and I was when Jen was talking to us and said, "I have to find my fian...OH!!...I have to find my HUSBAND!!" Then, we all giggled like school girls as she ran off to find Brian so they could leave for their honeymoon and their new life together.

TOMORROW'S POST: Why Laurie should have been arrested in downtown Baton Rouge, but wasn't and how Paris' family (the Hiltons that is) made it all better.