I was quickly walking across the lobby this morning when my shoe suddenly made a fart noise on the wood floor. I kept walking because, as usual, I was in a hurry. I was about ten steps past the receptionist desk when I realized that the receptionist (actually it was one of our young file clerks) probably thought I farted and that I kept walking without saying anything out of embarrassment.
I started to go back and tell her that I hadn't farted and that my shoe had made the noise on the wood floor when I realized that if I actually had farted, that would have been exactly what I would have told her. By the time I thought it all through, I was back at my office and the receptionist had probably already called or e-mailed at least a couple of people with the bodily function news flash.
If she did spread the word, I hope my little shoe fart was a bright spot in their otherwise uneventful day. I exist to bring joy to others in whatever disgusting way I can. It's a gift.