Today, I was driving home from a long, crazy day at work, contemplating murder. I watch all of those murder stories on Court TV and you’d be amazed at how cheap it is to hire someone to kill someone. I saw a show the other day with a guy on it who hired a guy to kill his ex-wife for $5,000. I remember thinking, “Is that all it costs? I can come up with $5,000.” It sort of scared me that I thought that but, it was good information to have. Just in case.
The person I wanted to murder today was a total stranger. I was stopped at a stop sign when a guy in a huge-ass truck, talking on his cell phone, nearly took off the whole left side of my poor little Toyota as he turned the corner. As he passed me, within inches of my driver’s side door, he looked down at me, looked straight into my eyes...and smiled. He actually looked down upon me from above and smiled. I wanted to kill him. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want him to get a ticket. I-wan-ted-to-kill-him! I could come up with $5,000.