Monday, January 02, 2006

WARNING!

I bought one of those Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush toilet cleaner things because, unlike the rest of you, I really hate that plastic toilet scrubber thing I've been using to clean my toilets for the past few decades. It's about time some scientist spent the better part of his career searching for the perfect toilet brush. I wonder if there's an award for that.

Along with the usual warnings printed on the package in lower case letters (don't get it in your eyes, stupid; don't flush the wand, idiot; wash hands after use, moron), there was also this warning in all caps:

DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

After working in the legal field for twenty years, I don't think that warning is specific enough. Might I suggest the following:

If you have personal hygiene problems so severe that you feel a need to have a go at them with a SCRUBBING BUBBLES FRESH BRUSH TOILET CLEANING SYSTEM, step away from the cleaning products, do not touch ANYONE or anything else in this store and proceed to the nearest emergency room or free clinic. NOW!!!

By the way, if you are a regular reader of this blog and you use the SCRUBBING BUBBLES FRESH BRUSH TOILET CLEANING SYSTEM for personal hygiene, I have a strict *Don't Ask, Don't Tell* policy. I mean it. We don't want to know.

13 comments:

dd said...

I use the same product (for toilet scrubbing not personal scrubbing), and I never noticed that warning. Good to know. hehe

cindybindy said...

It makes me wonder if the people who wrote the toliet bowl warning is in cahoots with the blow dryer people who warn you not to operate dryer in the shower. It's a scary thought to think there are people who need these warnings walking around in the free world. Be careful!!! Hope you have a good 2006. Tell Davi hi.

Laurie said...

dd - It's there. Check it out.

Cindy - Some of those warnings crack me up but you can bet they still get sued. I'll tell Davie you said hi. Bye!

Lorna said...

I don't know whether to laugh or throw up.....

Peter said...

Now all weneed to know is, does the little sucker clean toilets properly?

Laurie said...

Lorna - Why don't you laugh until you throw up? Kill two birds with one stone.

Peter - Works like a charm. I hightly recommend it.

Vettacini Sheppard said...

Gee, I've been using the wrong thing to clean my toilet bowls. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

That's frickin' funny Laurie.

Hi Cindy...

Tanda said...

Ahahaha!! That's hilarious!

You know someone tried it otherwise the warning wouldn't have been there. Could you imagine that doctor's visit?...

"Yeah, uh...doc, I have this strange rash here..."

"Yes, I see. Have you changed your laundry detergent lately?"

"Well, uh, no. But...ummm...I got this scrubbing brush, see, and uh, it smelled really good, so I tried it in the shower and..."

"Wait. You used a toilet brush to wash yourself in the shower?"

"Uh, yeah. And, see, now I got this rash..."

"Get out of my office. Anyone who's stupid enough to wash themselves with a toilet brush is too stupid to pay the bill for this visit. By the way, I'm calling a taxi. People like you shouldn't drive."

Renee said...

Your post made me laugh out loud. Keep 'em coming.

Marinade Dave said...

I think you're all trying to ANALyze it too deeply.

Laurie said...

Davie - Just don't use it on any private parts.

Tanda - I bet you're right. Somebody probably did use it to...never mind.

Renee - Will do!

Dave - At first I thought someone might think it could be used for a back scrubber then when I realized it was by the toilet cleaning stuff, I thought about the ANALyzed use...never mind.

Empress Baggie said...

Now that is stinkin' funny! Her Majesty is ROFLPIMP!

Apparently, however, some idiot did use it for personal hygiene, tore up his or her private area, and then tried to sue the company.

Idiots!

Very truly yours,
EB

Laurie said...

Empress Baggie - I'm humble that I made the empress laugh.