Monday, January 09, 2006

That Would Hurt

Three months after Hurricane Rita, someone is finally replacing the shingles on the roofs in my townhouse association. I haven't been able to park in my garage for a week because there are shingles and fork lifts and dumpsters in the driveway behind our townhomes. I can't complain though because a lot of people still have blue roofs.

I can, however, complain about the mess in my courtyard in the front of my house. I found tar paper and nails and shingles which had evidently fallen off the roof as the roofers worked. My main concern is that they'll drop something in the courtyard and break one of my glass tables.

Then I thought about what would happen if one of the roofers tried to stop the tar paper from falling off the roof. I pictured him sliding down the front of my townhouse, crashing through my glass top patio table and bleeding all over the patio.

It was a lot easier picking up all that trash than it would have been to get rid of a dead roofer with all that paperwork and everything. Not to mention having to clean up all that blood and the glass from the tabletop. Yeah, it's all good.


Susan in St. Paul said...

I had a house painter fall off the roof, hit the railing of the balcony above me, then throw himself onto my balcony somehow. I guess he didn't want to splat out on the concrete patio below me.

He just missed my glass tables by inches, landed sprawled out in between them. He also splattered one of my chairs with a spray of paint as he fell, and I too thought better than blood, or impaled on glass from the tables.

I was on the phone talking to one of my brothers who asked what the thud was, I glanced outside saw him, and said "oh nothing, just one of the painter landing on the balcony. He missed the tables" and my brother went "WHAT???"

I offered to let him in so he could walk down the stairs, but no he wanted to go down on a ladder, silly man!

pknqevba-Perhaps knowing nothing quietly evolutonary. Virtue becomes abnormal.

Lorna said...

My parents always taught me that you have to live wtih the consequences of what you choose to do---Damn! I would have liked pictures of that guy lying in shards of glass in your patio.

Peter said...

I'm glad to hear that it was only in your imagination that the roofer wound up spread-eagled on your patio Laurie.

Ed Abbey said...

As long as you get to it quickly, a solution of vinegar and water will remove the blood. I would just go buy a jug now and set it out on the patio. From reading Susan In St. Paul's comment, it IS going to happen... eventually.

While a young lad, a man working in the attic fell through the ceiling and landed on the floor not three feet from where I was sitting on the couch reading a book. It is reported that I said hi and then went back to reading the book.

Al said...

I'm still finding roofing nails after all the new roofs ) from our hurricanes - I've had to replace 3 tires - one last week, all from roofing nails and my roof went in nearly a year and a half ago

Sophmom said...

LOL. Laurie, you have funny readers. I'd be worried about the nails, either stepping on them or getting them stuck in the tires. One of the NOLA bloggers has written about the community-wide hurricane related nail-in-tire problem recently.


"Any mention respite means victory"

Laurie said...

Susan - Holy crap! That's a great story.

Lorna - It would have made a delightful cautionary tale for the old blog.

Peter - Yeah, me, too.

Ed - I'll whip up a batch of the blood cleanser just in case. Your story about the guy falling through the ceiling is hilarious. My dad has stepped through more ceilings than we can remember.

Al - I'm sure it's just a matter of time for me.

Sophmom - I noticed you're reading Tim's blog. He's great.

Marinade Dave said...

Having experienced hurricanes down here in Florida, the only thing I really had to worry about was getting nails in my tires after a new roof is put on. They fly everywhere. A year later, you're still finding nails. Every once in a while, I still pull them out of my shoes.

Renee said...

Okay, you've managed to gross me out in a matter of seconds.

Laurie said...

Dave - Oh, my feet! I don't want to blow out a flip-flop.

Renee - My work here is done. Sweet dreams.

Ed Abbey said...

I am the first for this suggestion. I saw a contraption in Menards once that is just the ticket. It is basically a 18" bar magnet in an aluminum housing with wheels and a handle. (Kind of like a seeder without the container.) You just push it over your lawn and driveway in a systematic manner and it picks up all the nails. I tried it in the store and it worked pretty good until the clerk gave me a dirty look for scattering nails on the floor.

Laurie said...

Ed - Someone needs to create one that rides out in front of your car.