Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Fore-Casting

The good news: The Hobbit is going to be made into a movie.
The bad news: Peter Jackson won’t be directing.

Fore-Casting…(if these guys directed):

Quentin Tarantino
Bilbo Baggins – Joe Pesci
Gandalf – John Travolta
Gollum – Christopher Walken

Stephen Spielberg
Bilbo Baggins – Danny DeVito
Gandalf – Sean Connery
Gollum – William Shatner

Tim Burton
Bilbo Baggins – Christina Ricci
Gandalf – Johnny Depp
Gollum – Beetle Juice

Clint Eastwood
Bilbo Baggins – Gene Hackman
Gandalf – Clint Eastwood
Gollum – Clyde the Orangutan

Spike Lee
Bilbo Baggins – Whoopie Goldberg
Gandalf – Morgan Freeman
Gollum – Wanda Sykes

Rob Reiner
Bilbo Baggins – Billy Crystal
Gandalf – Tom Hanks
Gollum – Gilbert Gottffied

Mel Gibson
Bilbo Baggins - Jesus
Gandalf - God
Gollum – Satan

10 comments:

neil said...

What an accurate reflection of all those directors. I especially love Mel Gibson's list, bet he could get all of them to work for him, maybe the devil all ready does.

Grimm said...

All I can say is that you NAILED it. Very well done - had me cracking up throughout.

Peter said...

I'd go and see them all Laurie, I think Mel may have gone for a slightly more Jewish cast though.

Jen T. (that's me) said...

BAHAHA. This is perfect. Dead on, I say.

Laurie said...

Neil, Grimm, Peter and Jen - Thanks. :)

Allen said...

Oh this was hilarious, especially the Mel Gibson one! Too, too funny!

Laurie said...

Allen - Thanks! :)

pokerboss said...

Man, I was sure Joe Pesci was dead. Maybe it's just that he hasn't made an actual movie in this century. I could kinda see him in dual roles. He could play Bilbo and Gollum. Twice the Oscar buzz!

Lorna said...

could we get a write-in thing going on Mel's version? Is there a part for Mary Magdalene

Laurie said...

Poker Boss - I need to do a Scorsese one:

Bilbo: Sharon Stone
Gandalf: Robert DeNiro
Gollum: Joe Pesci

Lorna - Perhaps she could be the all-knowing narrator.