Monday, July 24, 2006

In Laurie's Brain - (Un)Welcome Mats

We Moved, Knock Anyway
(The Dahmer’s love company)

WE AREN’T HOME!
(unless you’re Ed McMahon or the pizza dude)

The Doorbell Doesn’t Work
Please Scream at the Top of Your Lungs

Quarantine! Save yourself! Leave now!
(Mad Dog, Crazy Cow, Frog Flu…whatever)

Beware of Dog
(He humps and we don’t stop him.)

Whatever you do, don’t look up!
Note from Laurie: This one would work nicely along with a security camera.

Grandma doesn’t wear underwear.
Enter at your own risk.

Grandpa’s a farter.
Enter at your own risk.

Did you bring the guns?

God bless this house…
Especially Heather’s room.

Wipe your feet.
(You’re face could use a little work, too.)

9 comments:

Susan in St. Paul said...

Some very strange heavy drinking young male neighborhoods I had a few years ago had a mat that said "Go AWAY!" and every few days someone would turn it around to face their door.
These guys weren't all that bad, they would watch juvenile chick flicks with their girlfriends when they were sober!

cindybindy said...

My favorite door mat would be "The constitution says you need a warrant to come in." :)

Laurie said...

Susan - Go Away...short and sweet.

Cindy - That would be a good one!

gnightgirl said...

You have some amusing stuff rattling around in that head of yours. Love it!

Deek Deekster said...

i always wanted: Please Remove Shoes Before Wiping Your Feet - it's not even all that funny I just wanted it..

Laurie said...

Gnight - Maybe that's why I write. Heaven knows what would happen if I left it in there.

Deek - No, that IS funny! Hahahahaha!

Peter said...

"One nice person and one grump live here"

It would be up to the visitor to decide which was which.

ffc said...

heather's room? how could you! muhahaahahahaaaaaa

Laurie said...

Peter - I love that one.

FFC - Oh, my! Hahahahaah! I didn't even think of that. (By the way, these weren't near as funny as our Hallsnark cards.)