Saturday, November 05, 2005

Useless Women Trifecta

I went to Antone's tonight to see Tab Benoit. More on that tomorrow...with pictures! He's a living doll and plays guitar like buttah.

Before I go to bed, however, I have to post this while I'm still in a mood. Tonight I scored a useless women trifecta.
  1. Useless Woman Numero Uno (I tried to get pictures but the tequila/coke/crack/ecstasy cocktail she must have ingested rendered my camera useless.) - The 98 pound bitch who stood within 2 inches of my right shoulder the entire night. If she wasn't prancing around like a hyperactive chihuahua, she was riding her boyfriend like he was Seabiscuit.

  2. Useless Woman Numero Dos (See pictures below.) - The psycho stalker chick who stood right by the stage the whole night staring scarily at Tab Benoit. She actually sat on the stage during the last set. I don't mean that she was sitting on the edge of the stage with her feet hanging down. She was sitting at the front of the stage (stage left for you theater aficionados) leaning on a support beam with both feet up on the stage. She reminded me of those chicks in those old Elvis movies who would watch longingly as Elvis sang one of his musical numbers in those wonderfully horrible old Elvis movies.

  3. Useless Woman Numero Tres - I had the most useless waitress I have ever had at Antones. Every time I ordered drinks on my tab (which was often), she asked me my name. As many tabs as I've run in bars (which is a lot), I have never been repeatedly asked my name. Actually, I don't think I have ever been asked my name. On top of that, every time we would ask for a Budweiser (a plain old Budweiser), we didn't know what we would get. One time she same back with Bud Light and one time she came back with Bud Select. I seriously don't think she knew the difference. I even had to go to the bar to close out my tab, something I have never had to do.
I'm going to bed. I hope I dream about those three useless women forever pushing a rock up a hill like Sisyphus. Except, I'll be at the top of the hill pushing their silly asses and their silly rocks back down the hill.


Psycho Stalker Pics




8 comments:

j eastman said...

I love me some tequila, and I could'nt pass up the opportunity to leave a comment....


....just like you I'm always looking for the perfect margarita!

Sophmom said...

There are far too many useless women in the world. I guess useless men, too. Sounds like you had a great time, despite the uselessness going around. It's good to hear that things are getting back to normal in your neck of the woods.

Laurie said...

J - I listened to some of your music. It's great. I wish you weren't all the way up in Minnesota. I have a friend up there. I'll tell her to check you out.

Sophmom - We're definitely getting back to normal. We had a wonderful time. Hope your kids are well.

Astrid said...

With the orange circle around the lady's head, you don't mean to portray her like Jesus is often portrayed on paintings, right? I mean like a saint or the female version of a saint (whatever the word for that is!)?

Laurie said...

Astrid - Nope, I didn't intend to portray her as a saint and I think a saint is a saint whether it is a man or a woman. I think.

Astrid said...

Funny, sometimes your mind just spins around over little words, huh? Yes, I think you are right, it is saint, no matter whether you are a she, he, or it!

Anonymous said...

she just looks lonely, and horny. Many a man have wished to be in the presence of such a woman.

Laurie said...

Anonymous - Yep, there are a lot of us out there. Oops, did I say that?