Monday, November 14, 2005

Them Boys From Oklahoma Roll Their Joints All Wrong

When we went out Saturday night, one of the guys at the Star Bar sang this song. For some reason, it made me giggle and then I got really hungry.


Boys From Oklahoma
Jason Boland

Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong.
They're too damn skinny and way too long.
Well I ain't no holy roller, so I just use a bong.
Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong.

Them boys in Arkansas they got some damn fine pot.
That's a direct result of all them good seeds they got.
Haulin' water up the hill's a chore but damn i'll tell you what.
Them boys from Arkansas they got some damn fine pot.

Them boys down there in Texas got some damn fine weed.
They smuggle it across the Rio, they use the Mexican breed.
That's exploitin' cheap labor, but hell that's Texican's creed.
Them boys down in Texas got some damn fine weed.

Chorus

Them boys just north in Kansas, hell all they got is a bunch of schwag.
And they'll try to screw you for fifty bucks for a quarter bag.
I got some in my guitar case but I'm not the type to brag.
But it's a damn sight better than that Kansanian schwag.

See them faggots over in Norman they got themselves a kinky streak.
They like to roll their own but their sooner wrists are too damn weak.
But they'll sure start to puff'n though if you stick one in their beak.
Them boys from up in Norman got a kinky streak.

Chorus

See them boys in Colorado would just as soon pan for gold.
The nights are too long, and the growin season's too cold.
They just as soon smoke a joint that Jason Boland had rolled himself.
Least that's what I been told.

Them boys from Louisiana got trouble growin' their weed.
Them alligators is mean, and they eat up all the dang seeds.
But on a bayou night by the light of the full moon,
You can walk out and pick you a sack full of 'shrooms.

Chorus

Them boys up in Virginia, they stay inside and smoke the pipe.
They cant go outside cause they're afraid they might get sniped.
But they sure grow the good stuff, they roll it up when it gets ripe.
Them boys up in Virginia stay inside and smoke the pipe.

Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong.
They're too damn skinny and way too long.
Well mine looks like a pregnant dolphin I'd just as soon use a bong.
Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong.

9 comments:

Rhonda said...

Outstanding! I wish I could hear it in person!
It's very educational, too. I had no idea that aligators liked herbs!

Laurie said...

Rhonda - It was great. I'd like to hear Jason Boland sing it. Gotta watch dem gators.

Jen T. (that's me) said...

How very true. :) We used to sing that song before the Texas/OU game.

Stephen said...

That was great. I'd sure like to know the tune.

Laurie said...

Jen - I'm assuming it's true. I really don't know. Really.

Stephen - I'm not sure I remember. It was sort of bumpa, bump-de-bump, la la la, de-bump. Yeah, something like that.

Ed Abbey said...

I think I'll wait for the marijuana compilation album to come out. That way I can also get "I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again" and "One Toke Over the Line Sweet Jesus" all on one great disc. I would probably also get signed up to receive one disc a month featuring compilations of other drug related songs like "Lucy In the Sky!"

Laurie said...

Ed - Now, that's a Time-Life series I'd add to my collection.

Helen the Felon said...

I lived in Colorado for many years, and will personally vouch for the accuracy of the statements pertaining to Colorado boys contained therein. Yep.

Laurie said...

Helen - Love your blog name. Hope it has nothing to do with those Colorado boys. Good luck with NaNoWriMo.