Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Bad: Noisy Flip Flops



Our office has a casual dress code so, in the spring, out come the flip flops. I'm not opposed to flip flops in theory; but in reality, they are the noisiest goddammed shoes on the planet.

Today, I was sitting in my office and the first flip flops of the season passed by.  I heard them coming from a distance more as a sense of impending doom than an actual sound. Louder and louder they came until they were outside my office and then, finally, gratefully, away down the hall.

All day long: flip, flip, flip this way and flop, flop, flop that way and that was only one woman. Can you imagine what it's like at the height of the season with five or six heifers stampeding up and down the halls?

As God is my witness, one day this summer, I'm going to grab one of those flip flop wearing hussies, throw her down and slap the crap out of her with her noisy ass shoes.

 Posted by Hello

8 comments:

Abby Taylor said...

You could also sneak under her desk with scissors and cut half of the strap. Of course, beating the piss out of her would probably be more satisfying.

Vettacini Sheppard said...

You can always tell when a nervous person wears flip flops by the fast and furious drum beat of their walk.
Vettacini a/k/a Kavewoman

Dr. Sauce said...

Urgh I hate those stupid shoes too! I try not to wear them....
... too often.

I think it would be awesome to cut half the strap off of both their shoes. Then they'd have to either hobble around really slowly all day or just go barefoot. Since this could be done anonymously, it would probably be a lot safer than beating up one of those hoes with them. Just my opinion.

Laurie said...

So, the votes are in for quiet sabotage. I will take it under advisement.

Astrid said...

Haha .. I live on flip-flops! I need them, just like I need air! Should I run and hide from you now? Yes, I CAN run, EVEN ON FLIP-FLOPS!!!

Laurie said...

Astrid, I'm sure you're a quiet flip-flopper. You may pass.

Astrid said...

Haha .. and they should invent flip-flops that play your favorite tunes all day long! Instead of flip-flop, you'll be hearing Jason Mraz then! Haha ...

Anonymous said...

And have you ever noticed it is the one person in the office who would wear a bath robe to work if they would let her...No-- she knows they make noise ... if I have to be here everyone else is going to suffer too type person... that is who wear what I now call slip sloppers. I am ready to take up a collection to buy the slob a printer for her desk just to cut down on the long trips to the printer.