Someone e-mailed these to me and I thought they were funny:
- If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
- For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
- You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Good advice: Be nice to your family and friends. You never know when you might need them to empty your bed pan