Told You So

When you live in an apartment complex, you get used to hearing and witnessing domestic disputes and various and sundry interpersonal conflicts up close and personal. Sometimes they come from the apartment above you and sometimes they come from the apartments on either side of you. They almost always come between 2:00 and 6:00 a.m.

Sometimes, if it's in an apartment several units down, you don't hear the actual screaming and yelling and bouncing against the walls, but you see the unmistakable glow of emergency vehicle lights reflected on the walls of your bedroom as they roll by on their way to the scene of the latest drama.

Many years ago, when I lived in an apartment, I was awakened (at around 2:00 a.m., of course) by the sound of a man screaming, "You SHOT me! You SHOT me! I can't believe you shot me."

Idiot that I am, I didn't hit the floor like I should have. Instead, I kneeled down on my pillow, peered through my mini-blinds and looked out the window behind my headboard. On the lawn in front of one of the apartment units across the street from me was a guy lying on the ground writhing in pain and holding his foot. At the top of the stairs leading up to one of the second floor units stood a man with a gun. In the doorway of the apartment stood a woman with a phone to her ear who I assumed was calling the police. Although I was all the way across the street, I could tell that she didn't seem very upset.

When the man on the ground took a break from expressing his disbelief at being shot, the man at the top of the stairs calmly yelled down to him in the most matter of fact way, "I told you, if you came over here, I was going to shoot you."

I never found out the details of what lead up to the shooting nor did I ever hear whatever became of the shootee who I'm assuming was your run of the mill drunken ex-husband or ex-boyfriend asshole type. But whenever I think about that simple line, calmly stated, with the gun still in his hand, for some reason it makes me smile: "I told you, if you came over here, I was going to shoot you." So very John Wayne. So very Texas.